2. The Wabbit and the Fashion of Fur

It wasn’t difficult for the Wabbit to crash the event. With a paw over the date, he flashed his ancient press card and hopped across the beach. "I’ll never get the sand out of my fur," he grumbled. Worse was to come. Amidst much attention, Lapinette was modelling a strange garment. "It’s a fur coat," muttered the Wabbit with astonishment. The Wabbit knew several things. He knew Lapinette already had perfectly good fur. His fur could feel the beach was baking hot. And the campaign against the fur trade was dear to their hearts. He glanced up at a familiar sound to see Susan the Biplane trailing a fashion banner. The Wabbit flinched in the sun's glare. "I really am in the dark." So the Wabbit ignored the temperature, watched Lapinette strut the runway and had a think. He examined all the options. "Lapinette is up to something," he murmured, "and I’m going to get to the bottom of it." He was gripped by a flash of inspiration. "I have it!” thought the Wabbit. "Now what’s that thing models do – smize?” He fluttered his eyes and although he felt foolish, loped gracefully forward himself, raising his paws higher than was strictly necessary. "I can model my own fur and get on the inside," he grinned. "Then I won’t be in the dark." He heard a polite clapping. "Fur whom the bell tolls," he grinned.

1. The Wabbit and the Fashion Poster

One evening the Wabbit was out for a constitutional hop and that entailed stopping at several points en route for carrot aperitivi. As he hopped, he mused on old missions and smiled in a satisfactory manner, wondering what mysterious adventure life would throw him next. It was just getting dark as he rounded a corner into a favourite square that was to be his last port of call before he headed home. "What the binkie is going on?" he exclaimed. Several people looked around and seeing nothing but a rabbit looking at a poster, continued on their way. But the Wabbit stared and stared at the poster. "No-one told me anything about this!" he complained. "I am always kept completely in the dark." Now it wasn't at all true that the Wabbit was always kept in the dark. In fact, it was usually the Wabbit who kept others uninformed - sometimes under orders, sometimes for their own good and sometimes for entertainment. He considered for a moment. "Lapinette told me nothing of this, so perhaps it's meant to be a surprise." The Wabbit's eyes glinted. "I'm going to say nothing," he murmured, rummaging in his fur for ancient press credentials that were long out of date. "The surprise will be on Lapinette," he grinned.

The Wabbit at the Adventure Caffè

The Wabbits positioned themselves in a caffè outside a cinema and waited for Skratch the Cat to emerge. Then they pretended they didn't see him. "Hello!" cried Skratch. "Hello! I'm over here!" "Oh, hello Skratch," said the Wabbit, smiling. "What a surprise to see you here." Lapinette hid a giggle. "I was at the movies," said Skratch, "I viewed Infanzia Clandestina." "That's an interesting film," said Lapinette. "The violent scenes were filmed using cartoons." "It should have had an Oscar for that," said Skratch, "but we were excluded as usual." "It has already been done," said the Wabbit, "It was in the early jazz days when Louis Armstrong was in a cartoon." Skratch nodded in agreement. "It's a controversial area," he exclaimed. He paused and pointed. "What's that you have there?" "It's an ancient jazz album," said the Wabbit. "Can you play it?" asked Skratch. "I need a phonograph," smiled the Wabbit. "I know a market where we can get one," replied Skratch, "and by the way, that Blues Bat adventure was a fine example of music genre." The Wabbit grinned ear to ear. "Yes," continued Skratch, "you allowed the main character generous expression." "You sound like film programme notes," said the Wabbit. "I do it part time," laughed Skratch.

7. The Wabbit and the Bat's Blues

The Wabbit was as good as his word and coloured spotlights lit Bat Diddley as he took the stage. The Wabbit and Lovely Lapinette started to sway and their bat wings swung a rhythm of their own. "Wooooh," they sang. "Bat's Blues, wooooh!" Bat Diddley hopped forward on his cartridge feet, then spread his wings and sang in a deep smoky voice. "I'm a Blues Bat, baby. I get round fine at night." "Wooooh" sang the Batettes, "wooooh." "No time to hang around, baby," wailed Diddlley, "I make everything just right." He waved a wing to the Batettes and hopped to the side. "Just right," sang the Wabbit. "In the night," sang Lapinette. "Out of sight," sang the Wabbit. The Batettes swayed and shimmered in the lights as they spread their bat wings high. "I don't need no echo," sang Diddley, "'cos I can see you fine." "Fine, fine," sang Lapinette in the backgound. "I know your location, baby," sang Diddley, "and soon I'll make you mine." He waved his wings once more. "Mine, mine, mine, mine," sang the Wabbit and Lapinette. The music faded. "How did I do?" muttered Diddley. The Wabbit grinned a broad grin. "I see someone over there waving a cheque."

6. The Wabbit and the Colour of Sales

The Wabbit took Diddley the Vinyl Bat to a favourite wall, near a school in Via Genova. When Diddley saw it, he was ecstatic. "Oh I do like these colours," he exclaimed. "Excellent, aren't they?" said the Wabbit. "I want them for my collection," said Diddley. The Wabbit shook his head and jumped up and down. "Just take your time and appreciate the colours," he said, making a flouncy gesture with his paws. "Now Diddley, if you had your choice of colour what would be it be?" "Diamond," said Diddley immediately. The Wabbit smiled, because he felt he was making progress. "Have you thought of a back up colour?" asked Lapinette. "Platinum or gold," said Diddley. The Wabbit grinned a very big grin indeed, using all of his 28 teeth. "If you want those colours you need to have substantial recording sales," he said. "And if you want sales, you must promote yourself with a gig," said Lapinette. "I can get you a gig!" said the Wabbit. "With flashing lights?" asked Diddley. "I'll do my level best," said the Wabbit. "What about my Batettes?" asked Diddley. "I'll need at least two." "You have us!" said the Wabbit and Lapinette.

5. The Wabbit and the Bat's Choice

The Wabbit decided it was time to put colour to the test and persuaded Bat Diddley, the Vinyl Bat, to go with them to the market. "What lovely shirt colours!" said Diddley, "I must record them at once." The Wabbit shook his head. "You need to be in the moment, Diddley. What colour do you like?" "I like them all," said Diddley. "You have to choose," said Lapinette. Diddley rummaged on the stall without deciding. "I'll record the colours and choose later," he said. The Wabbit shook his head again. "You have to buy a shirt and keep it." "What about that red one?" said Diddley. "It's a little garish for your complexion," said the Wabbit and he steered Diddley across to a claret coloured shirt. Now Lapinette knew that was the colour of the Wabbit's favourite football team, but she decided to stay quiet. "That shirt has particularly excellent hue and tone," said the Wabbit in the manner of a disinterested expert. Lapinette smiled to herself. "Do you know, I think you're right," said Diddley, "it rather suits me." "Then what's it going to be?" asked Lapinette. "I'll take it!" cried Diddley. "This is only the start," grinned the Wabbit.

4. The Wabbit in the Kingdom of the Bat

The Wabbit and Lapinette found themselves transported to a large hall that was completely monochrome - except the colour from a panel of photographs. "Welcome to my Hall," said the large Vinyl Bat. "I do hope I didn't scare you." "Not at all, Mr ..." The Wabbit squinted at the Bat's label in search of a name. "Mr Diddley?" The Bat nodded. "Well Mr Diddley, I'm afraid you've been stealing our colour." Diddley the Vinyl Bat was horrified. "Borrowing!" he exclaimed, "The effect is only temporary. We put the colour back immediately" Lapinette tried to see her left eye without success, but the Wabbit peeked at his glasses and could see the blue had returned. "Then why are you borrowing colour?" he asked. "To record it," said the Vinyl Bat. "We're making a complete record of all the colours in existence." "On vinyl," said Lapinette. "On vinyl," said the Bat. The Wabbit considered. "I still don't get it," he murmured "A complete collection of colours will be available on vinyl," said the Bat in a loud, emphatic tone. He stared at the colours for a second and rotated slightly. Then with a click of his cartridge feet, Diddley the Vinyl Bat returned colour to the panel of photographs on the wall. "Oh," said the Wabbit, "that's groovy!"

3. The Wabbit and the Bat out of Hell

The Wabbit and Lovely Lapinette abandoned puzzling out the presence of vinyl bats and took the metro home. And as they hopped down the escalator, they talked about the bats and began to laugh as they batted the whole problem around. The Wabbit sang a few verses from Bat out of Hell but had to stop when Lapinette kicked him on the leg. "I'll be gone, gone, gone, ouch!" yelled the Wabbit. "You're bats in the belfry," giggled Lapinette. "I cant help it, it's my way," said the Wabbit and he held his paws up like wings. Lapinette held her paws up too and they hopped forward in unison. "Go, go, go with a smile!" sang the Wabbit and he hopped forward again. "Batdance! Do it! Keep bustin'!" chanted Lapinette and she hopped too. They hopped up and down and waved their wings and chortled. They were so enjoying themselves, they became quite oblivious to anything around. "I always ask that of all my prey," said a voice. The Wabbit and Lapinette stopped dead and looked at one another. "Did you sing that?" asked Lapinette. "Not guilty," said the Wabbit. He glanced over his shoulder and so did Lapinette. "Uh oh," they murmured.

2. The Wabbit and the Vinyl Bats

The Wabbit and Lovely Lapinette followed the bat and found themselves in a piazza just off Via San Francesco D'Assisi. "There are scores of them," said Lapinette, clutching her automatic. The Wabbit looked and thought hard. "There's something familiar about them," he replied and he pushed Lapinette's automatic away. "I don't think they're malicious." "But they seem to have taken the colour out of that building," said Lapinette. "It needed a clean," said the Wabbit. "No harm." They both looked up for a while, but nothing moved. "Are they asleep?" murmured Lapinette to herself. "You're the one with the bio acoustics certificate," said the Wabbit. "Do you want to give them a shout?" "In that position," stated Lapinette, "they can sleep and be ready to fly." "Then of course they do all that fluttering of wings and squealing," said the Wabbit.  Lapinette listened for a minute. "Can you hear that?" she asked. "I can," said the Wabbit and he angled his ears, swivelled them around and concentrated. "I can hear Jack Brenson and his Delta Cats," said the Wabbit. "That," scoffed Lapinette, "is Rocket 88 and it was really Ike Turner's band." The Wabbit stared at Lapinette. "You've been raiding my records!"

1. The Wabbit and the Colour Thief

The Wabbit and Lapinette jumped off the tram and were hopping across the bridge, when there was an occurrence. "Whoa!" said the Wabbit. "What?" said Lapinette. "That poster," said the Wabbit. "It flew off the bus and left only black and white." Lapinette glanced at the Wabbit. "And you're missing a frame from your super-glasses." The Wabbit touched his glasses. "No it's still here," he said. "But your left eye needs make up." Lapinette shrieked and pointed in horror. "The blue has gone from half your glasses!" "We're suffering a loss of colour," said the Wabbit. They both looked around and then up. Lapinette pointed. "It looks like colour theft. What on earth is that?" "It's some kind of bird," said the Wabbit. "Or a bat," said Lapinette. "Bats eat fruit or insects," said the Wabbit. "They don't eat colour." "It's not tasty," agreed Lapinette, shaking her head. The Wabbit tried to imagine how colour tasted then shook his head too. "In any case I thought bats were blind." "Quite the opposite," said Lapinette primly. Lapinette had a certificate in bio-ecology and acoustics, so the Wabbit quickly conceded. "Seeing is believing," he said.

The Wabbit and the Jazz University

Skratch the Cat met the Wabbit emerging from the university and fell alongside. "Hello, Wabbit where were you?" "Oh, hello Skratch," said the Wabbit, "I was just giving a talk on jazz and rabbits." "Really," replied Skratch, "can you give a whole lecture on that?" The Wabbit looked snooty. "Jazz," he said, "is the natural music of rabbits," and he left it at that, as if the statement alone was enough. "How so?" asked Skratch, inclining his head. "Rabbits appear and disappear at will," stated the Wabbit. "Now you see them, now you don't?" queried Skratch. The Wabbit nodded gravely. "And so it is with jazz," he said. "In jazz, there are notes that aren't really there and we rabbits lean on spaces that aren't there." "How do you know they aren't there?" asked Skratch. "Because we can't hear them or see them," said the Wabbit. Skratch's brain whirled. "They're ghosts!" said the Wabbit. "They don't exist as such -  we just imply them." "Oh I see!" said Skratch, without conviction. "Well, talking of things that aren't there, isn't it colourless around here?" "Do you know all theory is grey?" said the Wabbit. "You hum it and I'll join in," said Skratch.

The Wabbit's Adventure Caffè

"I'm relieved to see all these people," said Lapinette. "So am I" said the Wabbit. "And now we're back in phase, Skratch can ask the Question." "I will," said Skratch the Cat. "What was that for a short adventure?" "It was all a question of point of view," said the Wabbit. "Who's point of view?" wailed Ghost Bunny. "Our point of view," said the Wabbit. "That's why you got contaminated," moaned Ghost Bunny softly. "Your point of view was strongly attractive to the Dark Energy creatures." "Perhaps our point of view needs to shift," said Lapinette." "Well, whatever you do, don't lose it," said Skratch. "If it got out on its own, it might run amok." "I don't want anyone else to have my point of view," said the Wabbit, "they might go around trying to be me." Skratch paused, then smiled an embarrassed smile. "I saw you by the way." "Where?" said the Wabbit. "At the jazz club," answered Skratch. "Then why didn't you say anything?" asked Lapinette. Skratch hung his head a bit. "We were booking for Michael Bublé." "Oh, he's not so bad," grinned the Wabbit. Skratch gaped. "Are you going through a phase?" "It will pass," laughed Lapinette.

7. The Wabbits in the Quantum Well

Ghost Bunny flew wailing into the air and back, as a cage formed around the Wabbit and Lapinette. The Wabbits flinched as a sudden, massive force pulled them forward, then back, then up, then down to the bottom of the cage. "I was in a washing machine once," panted the Wabbit. Lapinette squirmed. "How did that go?" she gasped. "It was all right until rinse and spin," spluttered the Wabbit. Suddenly the pulling stopped. "What’s happening, Ghost Bunny?" shouted the Wabbit. "You’re in a quantum lattice well," said Ghost Bunny. "It will pull you flat again and then you’ll be correctly in phase." "As much as we ever were," said Lapinette. "We were only going through a phase," mused the Wabbit. "I’ve been waiting to hear you say that for some time," sighed Lapinette and she kicked the Wabbit in the leg. "I didn’t feel that at all," grinned the Wabbit. "Then I have to make a few quantum adjustments," said Ghost Bunny and she flew around hauntingly for quite some time. At last she returned. "Here's a wish for the quantum well," she moaned. "How many dimensions would you like to be?" "Just the usual two," said the Wabbit.

6. The Wabbit and the Cold Dark Matter

Ghost Bunny floated to a gateway and indicated that Lapinette and the Wabbit should get inside. Then she did something - and what that something was, no-one knew for sure. But a cloud of dancing matter swirled around the Wabbits and when they became visible, Ghost Bunny addressed them both directly. "What on earth are you two up to?" she breathed in a haunting voice. "We don't know," said the Wabbit. "It just happened," said Lapinette. "We're out of phase," said the Wabbit. "I know," said Ghost Bunny, "and that's exactly where you'll stay unless I can think of a solution." "I don't like it here," said the Wabbit. Ghost Bunny thought for a while and then she reached some kind of conclusion. "It must have been the dark energy creatures you fought in the Metro," she wailed. "They contaminated you." "Yuck," said Lapinette and she pawed her shoulders frantically. Ghost Bunny started to moan a low technical moan, full of equations and talk of isotropic inertness and perturbations. "That doesn't get us out," said the Wabbit. "We can't stay in this gateway forever, it's cold," sulked Lapinette. "I'm thinking," said Ghost Bunny. "so please let me complete my research." "What about a Potential Well?" interrupted Lapinette. "Oh, things aren't that bad," said Ghost Bunny.

5. The Shadows of the Wabbits

The Wabbit and Lapinette tried to take a Number 9 tram but there didn’t seem to be any. So they hopped a long way through deserted streets until they came to Pluto Park - in the hope of finding Ghost Bunny. "She’s usually around here somewhere," said the Wabbit and his ears fidgeted. "Do you really think she can help us get back into phase?" said Lapinette. "If anyone can, she can," said the Wabbit. Lapinette knew the Wabbit trusted Ghost Bunny like no other and she nodded quietly. "There she is!" shouted the Wabbit. Lapinette waved frantically and so did the Wabbit. "Over here, over here, Ghost Bunny!" they yelled. Ghost Bunny seemed to look at them, then turned away. "No, no!" shouted the Wabbit. "Help! We’re out of phase!" Ghost Bunny paused and turned back. She stared for a while then shook her head. "I’m sure I saw something," she murmured. "No, just a trick of the light." She shrugged just like the Wabbit and started to turn away again. "Lapinette, look!" shouted the Wabbit, "we have shadows! Jump, jump!" They both jumped and waved and their shadows danced merrily. Ghost Bunny swung around. "Wabbit? Lapinette?" she said. "Ghost Bunny!" screamed the Wabbit. Ghost Bunny couldn’t hear a thing but this time she gazed shrewdly. "Something weird is going on," she decided. 

4. The Wabbits seem to be Ignored

The Wabbit and Lovely Lapinette headed for the Torino Jazz Club which did rather a good carrot aperitivo - and it looked as deserted as everywhere else in the city. But to the Wabbit's surprise, two familiar figures came into view. "Look there’s Skratch!" shouted the Wabbit. "And Wabsworth, your android double!" yelled Lapinette. The Wabbit gazed, because something seemed strange about them. "Lets join them and ask what’s going on," suggested the Wabbit. They chased after them shouting and waving their paws. But no matter how much they shouted and waved, Skratch and Wabsworth paid not the slightest attention whatsoever - and continued into the Club. "Skraaaatch!" yelled the Wabbit with the loudest voice he could muster. "Waaaabsworth!" screamed Lapinette. But it was as if their friends could neither hear or see them. The Wabbit turned to Lapinette and touched her lightly on the paw. "You can feel that, can't you?" he asked. "Of course I can," said Lapinette and she poked the Wabbit in the ribs. "Ouch" said the Wabbit. "So what's happening?" asked Lapinette. "They're OK, I'm afraid it's us," said the Wabbit. "We can't be seen?" said Lapinette. "Or heard," said the Wabbit. "Because something's thrown us out of phase."

3. The Wabbits in the Deserted City

"You’re on the flower bed," said Lapinette. "Am I?" said the Wabbit. "There’s nobody here to tell me off," he remarked and his ears swayed gently. "Get off anyway," said Lapinette. "OK," said the Wabbit and he looked all around. "It’s deserted just like the Marie Celeste." "We’re not a ship in the Atlantic Ocean," said Lapinette. The Wabbit shook his head. "Look over there at that caffè," he said. "I can see an espresso machine steaming gently - just as if everyone vanished into thin air." "That never really happened on the Marie Celeste," said Lapinette. "Didn’t it?" queried the Wabbit in a disappointed voice. "What happened to the crew?" "Oh, the crew vanished all right," said Lapinette. "What’s your theory then?" asked the Wabbit. "Pirates," said Lapinette. The Wabbit laughed. "And they never took the cargo of alcohol destined for Genoa to fortify wine?" Lapinette was forced to nod in agreement and she looked around some more. "Better radio in," she decided. "There’s no-one there," said the Wabbit. "Not even static. Silent as the day is long. Completely dead." "I get the drift," said Lapinette. "I can only think of one thing to do," said the Wabbit. "Let’s have an aperitivo." "Self service?" said Lapinette. "The only way to go," grinned the Wabbit.

2. The Wabbit and the Quiet Highway

"Where did we have to turn?" said the Wabbit. "Left at Albuquerque," said Lapinette. "Ha ha," said the Wabbit, "you got the wrong rabbit." "If you weren’t haring along you wouldn’t miss turns," said Lapinette. "I’m used to better," said the Wabbit. Lapinette smiled. "You mean Turbina?" she said, "well you can’t always drive a jet car." "I prefer to," said the Wabbit. "You prefer a car to fly," said Lapinette, "and that's weird." "I like Turbina," said the Wabbit, changing gear. "She has an impossibly high rank," cautioned Lapinette. "Yes," said the Wabbit, "it’s so high that no one knows what it is." "There was silence and all they could hear was a faint hum and the murmuring of Capital Radio. "No-one much about," observed the Wabbit. Lapinette tossed her ears back. "I thought  you liked a quiet drive." "It's spooky," said the Wabbit. "And if it seems wrong, it probably is." "Do you think they were spirited away?" asked Lapinette. The Wabbit considered. "Now you’re talking," he answered. "It’s very spooky indeed." Lapinette dug the Wabbit in the ribs. "Do you have the toll money?" "It’s in my fur," said the Wabbit. "I’ll never find it in time," groaned Lapinette. "Maybe there won’t be anybody at the toll," said the Wabbit. And there wasn’t.

1. The Wabbits Hop the Silent Sands

Far, far away from secret keys and flying saucers and interrogations, Lovely Lapinette and the Wabbit hopped along the empty sands. "Not many around," commented Lapinette. "Swept out to sea?" suggested the Wabbit. "Wabbit!" sighed Lapinette. "Must you always lark around and make bad jokes." "I never  lark" said the Wabbit, "and jokes belong to the beholder." "You can't behold a joke," giggled Lapinette. "I'm not so sure," said the Wabbit and he wriggled his ears in a manner only he could manage. They strolled for a bit and then Lapinette remembered something. "What did you do with the Ice Mice?" "Probation," said the Wabbit. "That's lenient," said Lapinette. "They're now training to be probation officers," said the Wabbit. "You're a very harsh rabbit," sighed Lapinette. "It's called poetic justice," said the Wabbit. They hopped a little further down the beach. "I did hear from the Department about a new mission," whispered Lapinette. The Wabbit's eyes brightened. "But it's very hush-hush," she added. "Better not tell me then," laughed the Wabbit.

The Wabbit interrogates the Prisoners

The Wabbit didn't really enjoy interrogations, even when he was the one doing them. So he made an arrangement with Marshall Duetta Spyder, who knew the terrain. The Wabbit would be tough and Duetta the more reasonable. The Wabbit stared at the Ice Mice, curled his lip into a sneer. and made his big blue glasses pop forward. "I want names! I want places!" He paused for effect. "And I want other things I haven't even thought of!" "We are Ice Mice one, two and three," said the leader of the Ice Mice. "And we're not obliged to tell you anything." "I'll oblige you to speak when you're spoken to," yelled the Wabbit. "Ah, Commander. You did speak to them," said Duetta. "Did I ask them to answer?" said the Wabbit. "You implied they should answer," said Duetta. The Wabbit turned away then wheeled around. "You don't have to tell me anything. I know everything there is to know." "Then why are we here?" asked the leader. Duetta waved her front legs. "Why don't you tell him why you think you're here," she said silkily. "We only wanted the key," said an Ice Mouse. "To control the weather," said the Wabbit. "Is that a crime?" said an Ice Mouse. "Everyone else does it," said another. The Wabbit sighed a very long sigh. "Your mothers shouldn't have let you out!" he snapped.

The Wabbit at the Jump Cut Caffè

"Was that a Jump Cut I just felt?" asked Skratch the Cat. "You should know," said the Wabbit. "You're the Jump Cat." Skratch thought for a minute, but Lapinette broke the silence. "It certainly was. We all jumped." They nodded in agreement. "It wasn't a zoom or a cut-in," said the Wabbit. "It was from the same point of view, but we all changed round." "It was far from seamless," said Skratch. "Quite abrupt," said Lapinette. "A device to draw attention to the unreality of  life as we know it," commented the Wabbit. "By disrupting the narrative flow," said Skratch. They all took a very deep breath and now it was the Wabbit's turn to think. "I'm thirsty," said the Wabbit, "so where are our drinks?" "Service is a little slow," said Skratch. "And film criticism is so dehydrating," said Lapinette. The Wabbit leaned back and stretched. "While we're waiting we can think about our next adventure." "Anything on the wire?" asked Skratch. "It's the summer," shrugged Lapinette. "But we need an adventure," sighed the Wabbit. "No funds at the Department," said Lapinette, "it's the cuts." "The Wabbit's eyes flashed. "We'll cut them off at the pass!"

The Wabbit and that Adventure Caffè

The Wabbit heard their truck pull up and then the sound of pawsteps. He looked at Lapinette and winked and Lapinette winked too. Skratch the Cat saw Lapinette wink and thought the wink was for him - so he winked back. "What an adventure that was," he purred. "I'm thinking of writing an article about it myself." "Surely not for Jump Cut Review" said the Wabbit. "Oh," said Skratch, with a disappointed tone. "How did you know?" "I'm intuitive," said the Wabbit. "Also it's on your t-shirt." "In all the excitement I'd quite forgotten," sighed Skratch. Lapinette waved a paw for attention. "I thought that adventure would make a film series, with each film sharing a common diegetic world," she said. Lapinette had benefited from a classical education and had read up especially for such a conversation. "Diegetic - is that a stomach complaint?" said the Wabbit. "You know it's not!" said Skratch. "It refers to narrative devices that create a consistent emotional world for the characters in the story." "Like jump cuts?" asked the Wabbit slyly. Lapinette tapped the table once with her paw. "In that story, there was only one jump cut," she said. The Wabbit and Skratch looked horrified. "Where?" they yelled.

28. The Wabbits pose for the Press

Safely home, the Wabbit and his team assembled to accommodate a photo-journalist from La Stampa newspaper. "Are you sure I'm in this shot?" said the Wabbit, "I'm rather on the edge." "That's a wide angle lens," said Skratch, "so be assured that everyone is in the shot." "Wide angle?" said Lapinette. "I hope that's OK for my face." "Am I cut out of this photo?" growled Puma, "I can pounce lower down if you like." "What about my ears?" said the Keeper of the Keys. "They fold you know." "We're all in the shot! You can take my word for it," said Skratch. "I just want to make sure that we'll be on the front page and not the Saturday supplement." "Shall I deal with that?" said Puma and he let out of his loudest and most terrifying screams. "Looks like we get the front page then," smiled the Wabbit, "and I want the top of the page." "Top centre" added Lapinette. "I favour headlines in Times New Roman," said Puma. "In bold," said Skratch, "and the text should be aligned flush left with a ragged right hand." "But what about the story?" asked the Wabbit, "will you get the facts right?" "This is Turin, Sir," said the journalist. "When the legend becomes fact, we print the legend."

27. The Wabbit and the Last Word

Safely in the Wabbit’s hot air balloon, the gang made their getaway with the giant key at their side. The Wabbit’s walkie talkie crackled. "Red Spiders, Commander," said Duetta’s silky voice. "We have the prisoners." "Take them to the interrogation ramp," said the Wabbit, "and don’t drop them." Even through the radio, the Wabbit could hear the rustling of spidery legs as Duetta and her cohorts flew quickly across the city. "What about the saucer, Commander?" asked Duetta. "Give it another 5 kilometres," said the Wabbit, "then there might be turbulence." The Wabbit pressed a yellow switch and gave the radio to Lapinette. "Do you want to say the word?" Lapinette looked questioningly. "It’s voice activated," said the Wabbit. "What should I say?" asked Lapinette. "What would I say?" smiled the Wabbit and he winked at Skratch. Lapinette shrugged somewhat like the Wabbit and spoke softly into the radio. "Kaboom?" For a second there was nothing. Then they heard a creak, followed by a small bang. "Is that it?" asked Skratch. The Wabbit held up a paw. A deafening explosion ripped the craft apart and hurled bits of spaceship as far as the Alps. "That's it," said the Wabbit.

26. The Wabbit & A Sudden Appearance

The Wabbit steadied Lapinette as she fired a stream of bullets at the keyhole. The inside of the lock disintegrated and for a second there was the daylight that the Wabbit had requested. Then something totally unexpected happened. Puma emerged through the keyhole, raised a paw and gave a roar that startled the Ice Mice and everyone else. The Ice Mice tumbled from the key and they squealed hideously as they fell. The Wabbit nudged Lapinette. "You don't see that often," he sad quietly. Skratch was ecstatic, because he and Puma had been friends for a long time. "How did you get so big, Puma?" he shouted. Puma let forth a sound between a growl and a scream - in a way that only mountain creatures could. "This is a hologram!" he roared. "I am inside our army truck in the Corso Svizzera." The Wabbit shook his head, but he knew that Puma must have got help and he mentally gave thanks. "Let's get that key in the air," he shouted. "And where is Marshall Duetta?" "I'm here, just outside," said a silky spider voice. "Let the key though the keyhole," commanded the Wabbit. "Then stay well clear of this superannuated saucer." Duetta's silence said everything. "It's due for retirement," explained the Wabbit.

25. The Wabbit and the Right Keyhole

The Ice Mice didn't notice anyone or anything. They were much too intent on their task. And Lapinette had been right. The leader appeared to control the key through the other mice and gradually it made its way high into the roof of the Ice Mice craft. "I’ve seen something like this in Flash Gordon," said Skratch. The Wabbit kept his eye on the progress of the key. "What did he usually do?" he murmured. "On most occasions," said Skratch, "Flash Gordon’s accomplice Dr Zarkov would invent a new ray gun." The Wabbit paused to acknowledge a light flashing somewhere in the deeper recesses of his brain - and he looked across at Lapinette. "How are you for interesting ammunition?" he breathed. "I have some plastic-cased-telescoped bullets," said Lapinette, "they’re both undetectable and extremely light." The Wabbit smiled a sinister smile. "You’ve got lots then?" "Oodles," said Lapinette. She ruffled her dress and several rounds fell quietly to the floor. "OK. When I say fire," said the Wabbit, "give it everything you’ve got." "At the Ice Mice or the key?" said Lapinette. "The key hole," said the Wabbit. "I want to see daylight."

24. The Wabbit and the Ice Mice Heist

The gang made their way quietly to the loading bay by following sounds that were between a squeak and a crackle. Then together they peered from the doorway. Beside the Giant Key, an Ice Mice leader delivered instructions and the others prepared to guide it. The Wabbit drew close to Lovely Lapinette and whispered quietly. "When they touch the key they should fall under its control." "The leader isn't going to touch it," murmured Lapinette. "He's going to control the Ice Mice to control the key." "Oh, if only life was so complicated," smiled Skratch. Suddenly the Ice Mouse leader barked an instruction. "Put on the paw gloves," he shouted, "and move the key to the doorway." The Wabbit looked at Skratch and Skratch shrugged. "We're in the doorway," he said. "Then we should get out of the doorway," said the Wabbit. Lapinette indicated a small recess and one by one their heads disappeared. Now they were hunkered down in the darkness and all they could see was Skratch's eyes. "Can you stop your eyes glowing, Skratch?" asked Lapinette. "I'm afraid I have cat eyes," said Skratch. "They should come with a dimmer," quipped the Wabbit.

23. The Wabbit and the Tell-Tale Screen

The team dashed through the craft at breakneck speed. "We have to find the key!" shouted Lapinette. "And the right keyhole," yelled the Wabbit. "There it is!" growled Skratch and he shook his fist at a giant screen. The Wabbit stopped abruptly. "Of course! This is the monitoring station." Lapinette dug into her fur and rummaged. Her paw emerged with a clip of bullets that looked like lipstick and she loaded her automatic and fired at the screen. A line of purple streaked between the Wabbit's ears and made a hole in an Ice Mouse on the screen. "Ouch! What was that for?" asked the Wabbit. "Fun," said Lapinette. "It nearly sullied my fur," said the Wabbit. "They're only tracers." laughed Lapinette. "But now the Ice Mice will know where we are," said the Wabbit. "Exactly," said Lapinette. "They'll feel secure and we'll let them lead us to the keyhole." "Then what happens?" asked Skratch. "To get the key in the keyhole, they'll have to touch the key won't they?" said Lapinette. "Ah yes," said the Wabbit. "That will be the moment." "The moment for what?" asked Skratch. "That's anybody's guess," smiled the Wabbit.

22. Lovely Lapinette turns the Tables

The Wabbit was about to make another smart remark when there was a sudden crack. Without warning, Lapinette had hopped to the side and fired an automatic at the weather cloud simulation. The Wabbit and Skratch the Cat lifted their paws to shield their eyes from the glare, as yellow bolts of lightning shot from the cloud and pierced the Ice Mice. They all heard cracks as the mice froze solid and stood stock-still like statues. "How on earth did you know?" asked Skratch. "Lucky guess," said Lapinette and she stuck the automatic back in her fur. Skratch turned to the Wabbit. "What about the plan?" "I never had an actual plan," said the Wabbit. "I was making it up as I went along." "Didn't you say that was a plan too," sighed Lapinette. "Yes indeed," said the Wabbit, "and now the plan has changed." His ears suddenly pricked up. "I thought I heard a crickle-crackle crickly-crackly sound." They all turned to look at the Ice Mice. "Lapinette," asked the Wabbit softly, "how long will they be like that?" Another crickle-crackle crickle crackled and six mice ears moved imperceptibly. "There's no manual for this," said Lapinette. "Run!" shouted the Wabbit.

21. No one expects the Wabbit

At the end of the long corridor the gang startled the Ice Mice. Bent over a chart that floated in the air without support, they appeared to be simulating a weather attack on the district of Lingotto. The Wabbit clapped his paws together three times and they looked up in absolute surprise. "No one expects the Wabbit," he chanted in an annoying sing-song voice. "You bring no weapons?" sneered the leader. The Wabbit grinned. "Our chief two weapons are surprise, surprise and surprise." "That’s three!" said the Ice Mice together. "Then you see what I mean!" chirped the Wabbit. Skratch purred in a most sinister manner and shook a paw at the Ice Mice. "Your ship is surrounded," he said. "Put away your map, you won’t need it." The Ice Mice laughed. "We don‘t care," said the leader. "Our weather needs the key - so now you can give it to us." The Wabbit turned to Skratch. "What's this about a key? Did you bring a key?" "I never carry a key, I can get in anywhere," growled Skratch and he nudged Lapinette in turn. "Do you have a key?" "I always have a spare key hidden away," said Lapinette and she felt behind her, "because preparation is the key to success."

20. The Wabbit plans the Way

The Wabbit led the way down the walkway in a resolute fashion. Through the portholes, he could see Marshall Duetta and the Red Spiders gather as instructed. More and more came until they covered the ship and the light was entirely blocked. "Anyone got a torch?" said the Wabbit. "You do!" said Skratch and Lapinette together. The Wabbit smiled and rummaged in his fur. He fished out a serviceable torch from an old adventure and switched it on. It lit the walkway but the walkway comprised a long corridor that seemed to stretch for ever. The Wabbit continued to insist it was the only way. "They won't be expecting us so we have the advantage of surprise," he said and he hopped quickly forward, whistling a tune. "What's the surprise plan?" asked Lapinette. "The surprise plan is that we have no plan." Skratch grunted but the Wabbit waved his torch around and made shadows. "Having no plan is, in itself, a surprise plan." "You mean there's always a plan, even if there's no plan," asked Lapinette. "That's the first rule of planning," said the Wabbit. "What's the second rule?" asked Skratch. "That the plan will change," grinned the Wabbit.

19.The Wabbit & the Saucer Download

The key sailed through the bay doors of the flying saucer with Skratch and Lapinette attached. Then it gradually ceased vibrating. When their teeth stopped chattering, Lapinette and Skratch looked around. "Where's the Wabbit?" asked Skratch. There was a whoosh as a door slid open. "Behind you," said the Wabbit in a voice that startled Skratch and Lapinette.. "How did you get here first?" asked Skratch. "I've been here before," grinned the Wabbit. Skratch nodded and decided to leave the matter there, but the Wabbit noticed his puzzled expression. "I downloaded a plan of the craft in case it came in handy." "And you kept it in your fur?" guessed Skratch. "I keep my fur strictly analogue," chirped the Wabbit, "for security reasons." "Where are the Ice Mice?" asked Lapinette. "Shall we'll go down here and find out?" said the Wabbit, indicating the only route. Skratch held up a paw. "Just a moment," he said. "Remind me about what these Ice Mice do." "They menace around and change the weather," said the Wabbit. "But why would they do that?" asked Skratch. "Devilment?" suggested the Wabbit.

18. The Wabbit & Close Engagement.

As the Wabbit flew closer to the bay door of the flying saucer, he saw a giant key leave the ground and he smiled. Everything was going according to plan. He breathed into his walkie talkie. "Red Spiders, Red Spiders, do you copy?" "Ready when you are," said Marshall Duetta Spyder. The Spiders banked and wheeled around the port flank of the saucer, but the Ice Mice inside either didn't see or chose to disregard them. Skratch and Lapinette clung grimly to the flying key and the wind tore at their fur. Skratch waved and called a question across to the Wabbit, but his words were lost in the gale. The Wabbit saw the wave and watched Skratch's lips move - but he had no need to lip read. He knew exactly what Skratch was saying anyway. "I've no idea what we'll do, Skratch," he called back, "we have to think on our paws." The Wabbit waved a paw up and down to make his point and Skratch nudged Lapinette. "The Wabbit has no idea what we'll do." Lapinette shrugged. "He'll concentrate on getting through on time. Then he'll execute a plan that will astonish them." Skratch gripped the key tightly. "It usually astonishes me too."

17. Lapinette and Flying Preparations

In a secret warehouse, Lapinette and the gang unloaded the big key from the truck. The key hovered slightly - which made moving it somewhat problematic. "Left paw down a bit, right paw down a bit, a bit to the left - no to the right," said Lapinette. "I think I know how to unload a key from a truck," said Skratch. "The key is really quite robust," said the Keeper of the Keys. "The Wabbit was quite specific," retorted Lapinette. "When we get the key safely out, Skratch and l have to stand on either side and touch it at the same moment." Skratch thought for rather a long time. "Do you mean to tell me I have to fly with this key?" "That’s the general notion," said Lapinette. Skratch thought again. "Surely not fly to the flying saucer?" Lapinette nodded gravely. Skratch flicked lint off his coat, just like he’d seen the Wabbit do on many occasions. "Who flies these crates any more anyway?" he laughed. "The Wabbit, probably," said Puma. "Well, talking about the Wabbit," said Skratch, "where is he?" "He’s co-ordinating," said Lapinette, "so he’ll find his own way." "What’s his crate of choice?" asked Skratch. "A hot air balloon," replied Lapinette. "He's trying to get a rise out of me," said Skratch.

16. The Wabbit and Coordinated Strategy

High above and far from Lapinette's truck, the Wabbit looked on as the Ice Mice used their beam to draw up every key in the city. He lifted his walkie talkie and spoke softly. "Come in Red Spiders." There was a pause and a crackle, then a voice spoke. "Do you wish us to move in?" said Marshall Duetta Spyder. It was quite the silkiest of voices and the Wabbit knew that Duetta was impatient. "Wait!" breathed the Wabbit. They waited and waited as more keys made their way to the saucer. The radio whined. "They'll take all the keys!" said Duetta. "But not our key," said the Wabbit and he kept on waiting. Suddenly a horn blasted with a Doppler shift that rustled all the hairs on all the legs of the Red Spider Battalion. Even though she was some distance away, Duetta caught a glint of light from the Wabbit's 28 teeth. "Now?" she asked. " No." answered the Wabbit. "When all the keys are inside, another key will appear." "Our key?" asked Duetta. The Wabbit grinned. "When the big key gets through the bay door, your battalion will cover the craft from stem to stern." "Nothing in or out!" said Duetta. "Seal it like cling film," said the Wabbit.
[cling film: plastic or food wrap (US)]

15. Lapinette and the Way to Drive

The gang raced across the city in an old army truck, with Lapinette at the wheel. Skratch was wondering where Lapinette had learned navigation and decided it was something to do with the Wabbit. In that he was quite mistaken, because Lapinette had trained with the Goito Mechanised Brigade and sported several badges of Merit. While Skratch looked around fruitlessly for a safety belt, Lapinette hummed a tune and crashed gears, wearing a set expression that Skratch found alarming. "What’s that tune?" said Skratch, cheerfully. "Red Barchetta*," growled Puma. Skratch made a vibrating sound reserved entirely for cats and quickly changed the subject. "What exactly are we doing?" Skratch braced himself between the floor and the roof. Lapinette gunned the throttle, gritted her teeth and swerved. "Taking the big key to a place of safety." "Where?" asked Puma. "Don’t know," said Lapinette and she span the streeing wheel. "What about the Wabbit?" asked Skratch. Lapinette suddenly struck her paw on the horn and kept it there. The blast shook the windows, then wailed across the rooftops. "What was that for?" asked Skratch." "Signal." said Lapinette.

[*Red Barchetta is a song by Rush, celebrating the two seater sports car, the Barchetta (Little boat)]

14. The Wabbit and the Budget Cuts

"Wabbit to Wabbit Command!" snapped the Wabbit, "and use the quantum key." "Reading you, Commander," said a weak voice. "Ledgerwood!" said the Wabbit. "What are you doing in Communications?" " Budget cuts, Sir," said Ledgerwood meekly. The radio hissed and whined and crackled. The Wabbit was furious and hissed like the radio. "Well I asked for back up, not a screw up." "Budget cuts, Sir," sighed Ledgerwood. "Please convey my astonishment from the field," shouted the Wabbit, "we’re not at a Gala Dinner!" The Wabbit smashed the radio with his paw and switched to another frequency. "Calling Marshall Duetta, Red Spider Battalion.This is a Code 3 alert." The Wabbit heard the silky voice of Duetta. "Commander, initiating Code 3 protocols. What‘s afoot?" "Are you ready to Rock 'n Roll?" said the Wabbit. "Always Commander," said Duetta, "how many of us would you like?" "All of you," said the Wabbit. "Prisoners?" asked Duetta. "Confine them to their vessel." "What vessel?" asked Duetta. The Wabbit grunted. "Look back, nearly on your six o’clock." "A lengthy pause ensued. Through the window the Wabbit could just make out the green craft of the Ice Mice hovering threateningly.  The radio burst into life. "It’s a rather fetching colour," said Duetta. "Paint it red!" yelled the Wabbit.

13.The Wabbit and a Diplomacy Incident

The craft hovered over the station for some while and the Wabbit hopped out to meet with whoever or whatever might emerge. He watched as the Ice Mice beamed down, then advanced across the platform and waved for them to stop. "Please do tell me," he said flippantly, "who does go there?" The middle Mouse spoke first. "We are the Reformed Ice Mice and this is a mission of polite diplomacy." "Oh really," said the Wabbit, "may I call you RIM?" The Ice Mice made snickering noises but the leader frowned and turned sharply to the Wabbit. "We have done you a Great Service," he said. The Wabbit laughed derisively. "It was all in hand, you wasted your time." The Ice Mice conferred. "You have something we want," said one finally. "Do I look as if I’m bothered?" said the Wabbit. The Ice Mice shook their heads sadly. "We request a sign of good faith," said another Ice Mouse. "I’m all out of stock," said the Wabbit. Now the Ice Mice were getting extremely annoyed and the Wabbit smiled to himself. "We want the key!" shouted the Ice Mice in unison. "I do have a key," said the Wabbit. "Excellent," smirked the leading Mouse. "But the key belongs to me," said the Wabbit, "and it won’t work for anyone else." "We will take your key!" shouted the Ice Mice. The Wabbit shoved his paws in his fur and shrugged. "You and who’s army?" he grinned.

12.The Wabbit & Inconvenient Help

The train rattled down the hillside with the gang on board and Puma racing alongside. But the Agents quickly caught up and they shouted and waved their spikes menacingly. They drew alongside the train and were just about to board, when their ears pricked up. With agonised expressions, they flinched away from the wagon. "Do you hear something?" said Skratch. They all tried to make out the whining sound. It was high frequency and rather uncomfortable, but it infuriated the Agents who turned in pain and looked with horror at a strange craft rising from the horizon. "That’s definitely not one of ours," said Lapinette. "Brace yourself," said the Wabbit and they all clung on as the flying saucer fired volley after volley of ripple beams. The craft showed no mercy. Caught in the beams, the Agents blew apart and their limbs scattered over the track and across the hedges. "That’s takes care of our enemies," said the Wabbit, "but now we have to deal with our friends." "Ice Mice!" snapped Skratch. "I thought they were exiled in the Sombrero Galaxy? queried Lapinette.  "They’re here now," said the Wabbit. "What can they possibly want?" asked Puma. The Wabbit shrugged. "Well, what have we possibly got?"

11. The Wabbit & the Swift Getaway

No sooner had the gang left the building than heard blood curdling cries. The Wabbit turned and as he expected, he saw a host of Agents of Rabit. But there was something different about them.  Their old marching stance had gone and they were more agile. They could duck and dive and cruel spikes telescoped from their paws. "Run!" shouted the Wabbit. But everyone was running anyway. "Didn’t this happen before?" shouted  Skratch. "Yes!" yelled Lapinette, "it’s quite a regular thing." "Then what happened?" yelled Skratch. "We led them into a trap," said Lapinette, "and the Wabbit was waiting." Skratch looked at the Wabbit and his face fell. "Well he’s not waiting this time," he said. The Wabbit looked up. "Where’s my back up?" he shouted and he shook a paw at an empty blue sky. "Are you certain Command understood your request?" roared Puma. "Certainty is in short supply," gasped the Wabbit. He quickened his pace and had a think. "I know what," he muttered. "We’ll run for the old railway!" "Didn’t we do that before?" asked Skratch. "We did," said the Wabbit. "So what happened?" replied Skratch. "Lapinette rescued us by helicopter," said the Wabbit. They all looked at Lapinette. She shrugged and made a whirling motion with her ears. "It’ll have to do," sighed the Wabbit. 

10.The Wabbit's Rooftop Transmission

There was a rasp of turning keys and a flash. Suddenly they found themselves outside and very high up. Skratch was used to heights and jumped around. Everyone else looked over the parapet. "Does this usually happen, Keeper?" asked the Wabbit. "Not as a rule," said the Keeper. "Usually a set of instructions comes sliding under the door. It opens and I go out." The Wabbit pulled a walkie talkie from his fur and hit it for luck. "Hello Wabbit Command, come in!" There was silence. "Hello Wabbit Command, Wabbit calling. "Another silence then the radio crackled. "Wabbit Command. Reading you. Over." The Wabbit shook his head. "Please engage the Quantum Key." Another pause. "Say again, Commander!" The Wabbit groaned and said it again. "Engaging security encryption," confirmed Wabbit Command. "Go ahead." "We have a situation," said the Wabbit. "Please define," said Wabbit Command. "A set of circumstances in which one finds oneself," snapped the Wabbit. Lapinette poked him and the Wabbit’s stomach groaned. "Are you injured, Commander?" said Wabbit Command. "Not yet," said the Wabbit. "This is an Agents of Rabit proximity warning. Backup required." "On its way," said Wabbit Command. "Anything else?" "A salad sandwich," said the Wabbit. 

9. The Wabbit & the Rapper Maneuver

.

The Wabbit made a signal and everyone in the team moved around the Keeper, taking up position at the back. The Wabbit was about to use the Rapper's Manoeuvre - which sometimes worked. It was simple move in which he would engage in discussion with the Keeper. Whatever the Wabbit said, the rest of his team would vociferously agree with him. As they set up a jerky beat, the Wabbit drew close to the Keeper and rapped - "Who are these grim and scurvy knaves, who keep you cruelly enslaved?" "Enslave is grave! Enslave is grave!" chorused the team. "So hit them with an architrave," shouted Skratch. The Wabbit sighed deeply but the Keeper was hooked and said. "They are giant grey rabbits all, scraggy as the ghastliest troll". Suddenly all was clear to the Wabbit. "Sounds like the awful Agents of Rabit. We don't like their painful habits," he rapped. "They're both baneful and disdainful," yelled Puma. "Our association's been ungainful," shouted Lapinette. Then the Wabbit hunched in to the Keeper. "Let's find a way to work together." "With a cunning plan that's more than clever," sang Skratch. "Carried out with vim and vigour," chanted Puma. The Keeper looked astonished. "Everyone agrees!" he said. "That's the concept," smiled the Wabbit.

8.The Wabbit & the Keeper of the Keys

Enough light beamed from the dimmed windows to allow the gang to see. "You're all most welcome,"  said a most solemn voice. "I'm so glad my key got you here."  Lapinette pushed the Wabbit towards the centre of the room. "You speak to it!" she hissed. "Why me?" said the Wabbit, "it's always me." "Yes, people speak to you - all the time," murmured Lapinette. "That's right Wabbit," agreed Skratch the Cat. "You have a general rapport that gets you invited in." Puma offered a smile of satisfaction. "Statues, goddesses, trains. planes. Anyone and everything speaks with the Wabbit." So the Wabbit shrugged and hopped into the centre of the room, facing one of the oddest creatures he had ever seen. "I am the Keeper of the Keys," said the creature. The Wabbit hadn't a clue what to say. "Good for you!" he announced and thought hard. "What's that like?" he added. "Dreary," said the Keeper. "I am condemned to live here, due to my obsession with keys." "Forever?" asked Lapinette. "Sometimes I am allowed out to open very, very big doors." said the Keeper. "Then you have to return?" asked Skratch. "I'm no longer very sure," said the Keeper. The Wabbit felt annoyed and stamped his foot. "Then you've come to the right rabbit," he said. "I know," said the Keeper. "My key found you."

7. The Wabbit and the Secret Room

The Wabbit and Lapinette swept through the doors that opened before them - and Skratch and Puma jumped through behind them. Suddenly all was darkness and they stood motionless in the still air. Puma had the best eyes and so he was the first to see anything. "It's one big empty place," he murmured. Skratch blinked his way to vision, followed by Lovely Lapinette. Finally the Wabbit spoke. "It's one big empty place," he gasped. "And it has an echo," said Lapinette, digging the Wabbit in the ribs. "There's only the four of us here as far as I can see," said Puma quietly. "So why are we here?" wondered Lapinette. "And where's that key? asked the Wabbit. But of the giant key there was nothing to be seen and Puma glanced back and forward looking for it. "Skratch, you said there were three keys," he purred. "First I heard of it!" scoffed the Wabbit. Skratch assumed his lecturing position, "There were three doorways," he explained, "and that meant there had to be three keys." Lapinette' eyes gave a twitch of understanding and she nudged the Wabbit. "We were the other two keys," she said. "I'm not a key," said the Wabbit. Skratch was just going to joke about making a keynote speech when they heard a solemn voice echo from the walls. "So pleased you could all come." it said.

6.The Wabbit and the Number of Keys

The key lifted out of the staircase, flew high above the rooftops surrounding the Old Basilica and gently swivelled. Skratch the Cat watched, flexed his paws and got ready to move as the Wabbit and Lapinette separated from the key. Puma observed them carefully as they proceeded towards three separate doorways and then he roared to Skratch. "You said stories had three keys, not doors," "Stories are far from a precise science," said Skratch calmly, rapidly unsheathing his claws. With a machine gun rattle, they made a burst of noise that awakened Lapinette and the Wabbit from their trance. "Whoooah!" yelled the Wabbit. "Ooooh!" shouted Lapinette. "What's going on?" yelled the Wabbit. "Get me down!" shouted Lapinette. Skratch lifted a reassuring paw. "Just keep going and whatever you do, don't think about being in the air." Skratch paused as the two sailed towards the doorways - and remembering the key, assessed it with suspicion. He paused for thought, then suddenly made a victory sign and shouted to Puma. "There are three keys!" "I only see one key," said Puma gravely. Skratch laughed. "Listen up Puma! When they get to the doorways, jump!" Puma looked questioningly. "You known how to jump, don't you?" said Skratch.

5. The Wabbit on the Spiral Staircase

Puma watched Lapinette and the Wabbit until the key pulled them up the centre of a spiral staircase, then he bounded upstairs at unstoppable speed. The key started to change colour but its every movement was measured. It cared neither for the Wabbit nor Lapinette but only for its inexorable and pre-determined path. Stuck to the key, the two were helplessly towed in its wake. Suddenly there was a feline scurrying from above and Skratch the Cat appeared from the roof. Somewhat dishevelled and panting from his journey, he looked with horror at the scene. "Puma?" he asked. "They’re stuck to the key and they don’t seem to care," growled Puma. "It’s not like them at all." Skratch’s ears vibrated. "The key is exerting some strange force," he said. "I can feel it too." Puma looked across at Skratch for direction. "We’ll scamper to the top and wait there," said Skratch. "That’s where it’s going." "Maybe there’s a door," said Puma. "If we can find it, we can stand in front of it and stop them." "That key isn’t stopping for anything," said Skratch, "and there’s one more problem." "Another problem?" groaned Puma. "In stories, there’s seldom just one key," purred Skratch. Puma growled again. "How many?" Skratch shook his head. "Three!" he sighed.

4, The Wabbit & the Roar of the Puma

 

The now enormous key dragged the Wabbit and Lapinette up the steps to the Old Basilica and the end glowed even brighter. Puma loped ahead on a detour and suddenly emerged in front of them. "This isn’t going well!" he hissed, "shall I get some assistance?" Both the Wabbit and Lapinette shook their heads. "No, no." said the Wabbit, "we can handle this, can’t we Lapinette?" "Of course we can," said Lapinette quietly. "Who better at key handling than us?" Puma looked at them with a worried face. "They might be embarrassed," thought Puma, "but I can’t let this go on. I’m going to get help anyway." Puma let out an enormous roar that shook the branches and made the Wabbit’s fur stand up sharply. "What was that for, Puma?" asked the Wabbit. "It’s my key handling roar," lied Puma and he did it again. The Wabbit shrugged and continued to follow the key helplessly. But far across the city outside a small repertory cinema, Skratch the Cat pricked up his ears. "Puma needs help," he said to himself and he listened attentively. "Yes there it is!” he purred and he started to trot quickly. But Skratch heard another sound that was somewhere between a scream and a shriek. His trot gave way to a lope and the lope to a bound. Soon he was on the edge of the city and heading up the hillside. 

3. The Wabbit and the Fatal Attraction

The key pulled the Wabbit all the way to the funicular railway and as it proceeded down the platform it began to glow slightly at the end. The Wabbit’s paws were glued to the key by a strange magnetic force and he could only hop along with it. But just as he got to the front of the train, Lovely Lapinette got off. "Oh, hello Wabbit, I wasn’t expecting you!" Then she stopped and stared. "What’s with the gigantic glowing key, Wabbit?” The Wabbit shrugged. "Is this one of your tricks?" she sighed. "No trick," said the Wabbit brightly. "He’s got himself stuck to the key," purred Puma, "and it’s taking him somewhere." The Wabbit’s paws were getting tired and again he tried to pull them from the key but to no avail. The Wabbit gave a wry smile. "We’ll find out in due course," he said with optimism. "Shall I try to pull it off?" said Lapinette, hopping down from the step. She stretched forward and held out a helpful paw. "No!" cried the Wabbit and Puma at one and the same time. Lapinette had only stretched in the direction of the key, but some irresistible force gripped her and propelled her forward. "Grrrr!" said Lapinette, shaking a paw that was now stuck fast to the key. "Too late," growled Puma. 

2. The Wabbit gets Pulled

The rusty old key became larger and larger - and as it grew the magnetic force increased. It was completely stuck to the Wabbit and he had no choice but to let it pull him along. The key took him onto the hillside and he hopped quietly behind it because he knew the path quite well. He was thinking about how to detach from the key and had come up with several unworkable ideas when he was interrupted by a recognisable voice from behind. "Hello Wabbit!" The Wabbit hadn't bargained on hopping into anyone he knew and he felt slightly embarrassed about explaining. He wasn't really able to look back because all his efforts were concentrated on the key. "Hello Puma," he said, without turning. "What's happening Wabbit?" answered Puma. "Oh just some small key business," said the Wabbit and he kept going because he had little option. Puma paused and growled a little. "I don't believe you," he said. "Besides, it's a very large key. And you seem to be stuck to it." "I'm trying to find out where it's going," said the Wabbit. "It's taking you where it's going," said Puma, "so I'm calling in help." "Not at all," said the Wabbit. "Then I'll come with you," said Puma. "OK," sighed the Wabbit. "Just don't touch the key." "You got the right key, but no keyhole," hummed Puma and he loped along after him.

1. The Wabbit finds a Secret Key

The Wabbit was between adventures and it was a place he didn't like. So he chose to wander through Pluto Park for a constitutional hop and time to think. He hopped and hopped and thought about this and that. But when he passed the decorative girders he admired, he looked at the rust - and for an instant he was at one with the little flakes of iron, turning red in the passage of time. "Time and tide wait for no rabbit," he mused. He was pleased with that and tried another saying. "Pass therefore not today in vain," muttered the Wabbit, "for it will never come again." Just before he became maudlin, a metallic clink caught his attention and his ears swivelled. There, on an iron ledge, lay a rusty key. It was rather large with a barrel stem, but despite its rust and age, tell tale scratches told the Wabbit it had been recently used. "A secret key," gasped the Wabbit. He paused for a moment and tried to think what door the key would fit. He could think of no such door. "I need to find the door for this key," said the Wabbit, "and then I can return the key to the owner." But as the Wabbit touched the key, he was instantly seized by a powerful magnetic force and he couldn't shake it free. The Wabbit stared. "Looks like the key comes with me," he sighed.