The Wabbit's Famous Adventure Caffè

It was one of these days when the weather didn't know what to make of itself. The sky was gloomy yet bright. Maybe it might rain. No-one sat at the chosen caffè. People had made their minds up and the Wabbit shrugged. "Tell me. Skratch. What was that for a sort of adventure?" Skratch felt squeezed at the back. He pushed his way in. "It defies indexality," he said. "That's mysterious," Skratch," said Lapinette. She leapt in the air, as only Lapinette could. Skratch smiled. "Para indexality." Wabsworth knew what Skratch was talking about. His memory banks held all manner of esoteric stuff. "The image is not a clear index to something that is visually given. It is merely the Derridean trace of the object. It is para indexical." The Wabbit snorted. "I find that a bit antiseptic." Lapinette did another binky. "Now were talking medical indexality. I thought our story was perfectly normal. A horror-medical." He paused. "Why are we all standing here when we could be looking for a decent caffè?" Lapinette whirled. "There are no decent caffès on this drag, we need to hop a couple of blocks." She whirled again then stood still. "We can maximise its interfaciality, in reference to other blocks?" meaowed Skratch. "On their plane of immanence? I doubt it," stated Wabsworth. The Wabbit looked around and couldn't see any signs of an immanent drink. "I know a good caffè just off Via Po," he shrugged. Lapinette pirouetted once more. "So what are we waiting for?" 

8. The Wabbit and Wabphage Attack

The Wabbit emerged through a door in front of the Doppelganger's lab. He wore one his annoying smiles. Designed to distract, it had served him well in the past. He knew it would work now. Unseen, Wabsworth crept round the back bearing the payload. "Greetings Doppelganger," said the Wabbit. The Doppelganger was rattled. He snapped, "Call me by my proper name!" The Wabbit smiled a sardonic grin. "Which is?" All the beakers in the lab shook. "Commander Wabbit! I am the real one," yelled the Doppelganger. He frothed at the mouth but his paws held on to the index bag of blood. Wabsworth crept into position. With a hypodermic, he drew the manufactured bacteria from the flask and hopped forward. He could hear the Wabbit taunting the Doppelganger - so he sensed his chance. He hopped forward and plunged the needle into the bag. He had the element of surprise. With time left, he withdrew more fluid and jabbed the doppelganger. The Wabphage ingredients worked almost immediately. The blood in the bag modified as it began to consume itself. Then the Doppelganger's DNA warped - and the reaction was fast. His body convulsed in pain. He grabbed at tubes. His skin changed colour as he crumpled. Pale faced, he lay gasping on the floor. With his last breath he cursed the Wabbit. "This is not the end. I'll be back!" 

Background elements:  Pixabay; Blood Bags Flask

7. Lapinette and the Blood Spatter

Lapinette was keeping a close eye on the Doppelganger. He was messy as usual and spattered a lot of blood on the workshop window. He sang the while. "Bloody blood, so much bloody blood." Nevertheless, his work looked like it would succeed. He was singing a song about blood. Lapinette's ears pricked up as she paid attention. "Platelets, redlets, whitelets, clotlets. Round and round they're on a spree. Soon we'll have an army, an army an army. Soon we'll have an army, one two three." He gathered up a blood bag and rocked it like a baby. "He's singing to it," gasped Lapinette, "He's mad as a bag of bees." Lapinette felt a buzz in the air. It got louder and louder. It reached a crescendo then died. She inched backwards and out of sight. "Hurry up Wabbit," she shouted. "It's all happening." The building shook. Blood seemed to seep from the walls. Wabsworth and the Wabbit snuck round the back. Wooden beams fell. They held on because everything was shaking. Lights flickered. The metallic smell of blood grew more intense. They could hear the doppelganger singing. It was faintly out of tune and seemed to come and go. Lapinette heard the Wabbit and Wabsworth muttering. Then the Wabbit shouted, "Now!"

[Background and blood graphics at Pixabay]

6. Wabsworth and the Emergency Vehicle

Wabsworth loaded the supply of bio-engineered blood into a vehicle he'd borrowed from the pool at short notice. Then he'd scribbled a note and jumped in. The Wabbit had specified a silent approach so he didn't use the sirens. But he switched on the blue lights and piled through the city like a cheetah on steroids. People scattered. An entire troop of scouts jumped for safety and a jeep full of soldiers took fright and ran. The road to Eur was usually busy but it cleared as he put his foot down. He took a corner on two wheels then turned into the bunker and dropped down the stairs. Strictly speaking, the stairway didn't have the width for a vehicle that size, but Wabsworth squeezed along the concrete canyon and screeched to a halt outside a fortified barrier. The Wabbit's head popped out. "I know I said silent, Wabsworth, but I meant discreet! Anyway, let's have it." Wabsworth held up a canister. "Best I can do at short notice, Commander." The Wabbit looked impressed. Lapinette emerged and she looked impressed too. "The doppelganger is in there with his fakery," she said. "Are we ready to go?" Wabsworth opened his door and jumped down. "I need to get my kit out the back." The back was full of medical paraphernalia. Wabsworth emerged with flasks and tubes and wearing a grim face. "What do you call a scientist who expresses a non self antigen?" No-one said anything. They just shook their heads. "Humoraly Immune!"

5. Wabsworth and the Bacteria Simulation

Wabsworth got to work immediately. He'd learned all there was to know from various medical sites on the web - as far as he could determine. And just for fun he popped inside the simulation to make the last adjustments. Bacteria swam around his head like giant creatures from the deep and he watched them. "The motor, the hook and the filament," mused Wabsworth. He smiled and tinkered a bit with his representational tools, one of which was a Swiss army knife. He planned to introduce a retrovirus which, when activated, would not only destroy the virus populations of the doppelganger's blood - but move to destroy itself. Wabsworth knew he was on the edge of legality. The Department had outlawed such procedures in case of a spread to all rabbits - and eventually all populations would suffer. He grinned. There was no-one quite like an android to do this work. He felt like Frankenstein's monster. He sang. "Blasticidin, Puromycin, Gentamicin, Zeocin, Let's call the whole thing off!" He pondered upon the introduction of de-mortalisation, then decided against. "Can't have that," he murmured. He scattered a few knockout cells to be on the safe side. "Can't risk creating an uncontrollable monster," he said aloud. He decided he was finished. It was time to transport the completed bacteria to its host. He thought about the Wabbit and his gene pool. "I hope I have his divided attention." He flicked a mental switch and then he was staring at his computer. He chuckled. "I need to speak to Human Resources."

[Background image: bacteria at Pixabay]

4. The Wabbit and the Peep Hole

Lapinette squinted through a peephole then rapidly withdrew her eye. "I told you so." The Wabbit gave the shattered glass a sideways glance. "It looks like a blood bank." The Wabbit's doppelganger was busy hanging up pouches and although he seemed to look up, they knew he couldn't see anything. "Now do you believe me?" The Wabbit had never disbelieved Lapinette. He knew far better than that. They watched the Wabbit's doppelganger connect new tubes. Blood gurgled through. A blood red forest of tubes swayed as he moved. "What's his game?" murmured the Wabbit. Lapinette watched some more. "I think he wants to set in motion an army of fake Wabbits, which will obey his every command." The Wabbit nodded. "To do what?" Lapinette looked pensive. "To discredit you and the Department?" The Wabbit laughed. "That won't be hard." There was a crash from the other room as the Doppelganger brought in a fresh tank of blood and manoeuvred it into position. Some spilled. A metallic scent hung in the air. "He's not very efficient," observed the Wabbit. "what do we do now?" Lapinette was quick to respond. "I think Wabsworth might know." The Wabbit fished in his fur for his radio and pressed a button. "He's on his way." "Stealth approach," advised Lapinette. "He's an android, so I taught him to socially distance," quipped the Wabbit.

3. The Wabbit and the Duplicitous Double

Unbeknown to each other, both the Wabbit and Lapinette were on the trail of the doppelganger. It was at the old abandoned bunker their paths crossed, and they could see the doppelganger at some kind of devilish work. "Which Wabbit are you?" whispered Lapinette. She tapped the Wabbit on the shoulder. "I'm me, of course," groaned the Wabbit. "But how do I know?" asked Lapinette. "I was sizing this place up for a new shed," answered the Wabbit. "Working with who?" said Lapinette in a hushed voice. "Wabsworth!" scowled the Wabbit. "OK," agreed Lapinette. She nodded and smiled. They both watched the intruder. "What's he doing?" They continued to watch. "He's messing with the electrics." said the Wabbit. "With blood?" exclaimed Lapinette. "Spooky," groaned the Wabbit." "Maybe he's trying to generate plasma," suggested Lapinette. "To become the real me?" The Wabbit felt seedy. "He could try," said Lapinette, "did you miss any blood recently?" The Wabbit thought. Cold from the unheated bunker settled around his shoulders and spooked him even more. "I gave blood to the Department. For Overseas Development." They both considered the matter. "It was on its way to the State of Wabbitania. Maybe it was hijacked and stored here." Lapinette was thoughtful. "This bunker was never ever used," she said. "And no-one comes here," added the Wabbit. "Perfect," nodded Lapinette. "That was exactly in my vein of thinking." 

2. Lapinette and the Walrus Spoke

Lapinette had gone to Natural History Museum to help. But when she got there, they wouldn't let her in. "We're closed," they said. "Go away." Lapinette as furious at such rudeness. "I’ve been sent by the Department," said Lapinette. "Don't care!" came the reply. "Then you're fired." Lapinette's tone was unmistakeable. She turned and looked over her shoulder at the retreating figures. "Don't care was made to care," she added and went on her way. Everything was a shambles. Nothing was in order, jumbled together like an old junk shop. "It's like the eighteenth century here," murmured Lapinette. "You're telling me," said a voice. It came from a big toothed walrus and he seemed upset. "They just collected me and shoved me in a room without regard to genus or even species." He looked around at various birds and antelopes. "See what I mean." Lapinette was upset too. "No wonder the Department sent me. I have to clean up." The walrus shrugged. "It will take you hundreds of years." Lapinette sighed and sat down. That was when she spotted what looked like a familiar figure. But he didn't look quite normal. "Wabbit?" The Walrus shook his head. "He's not real, he's a doppelganger." Lapinette slapped a paw to her forehead. "Don't attract his attention," said the walrus, " He's supposed to bring bad luck." Lapinette felt in her frock for her automatic. "I've met him before." The walrus was horrified. "I weep for you, I deeply sympathise ...."