Wednesday, March 21, 2018

The Wabbit at his Adventure Caffè

The Adventure Caffè was most pleasant. A gentle breeze blew through the doors and they all relaxed to discuss their most recent adventure. Skratch appeared in in his usual fashion and waited for someone to ask the question. This time it was Tipsy. She was pleased to be at the Adventure Caffè and she wanted to make an impression. "Skratch," she murmured. "What was that for a type of Adventure?" "Well now Tipsy," said Skratch. "That's a whole different question. And a good one." Wabsworth lifted a paw. "A type suggests form and as such, begs the question of content." Tipsy smiled with delight and the Wabbit nudged her. "Museums primarily deal with content," said Tipsy, "... so maybe we could think of it as contentious typology." Lapinette was next. "Yes, but it's not museum locations which constitute a typology but their assembly of contents. That demands specific interrogation as a cultural form." "Mmm. Formal architectural typology," nodded the Wabbit. He tapped a formal paw on a table. "The museum is the architecture of the past. An assembly of artifacts which are to all intents and purposes, dead." Tipsy butted in. "Aren't they then, by definition, the precursor of the new?" Skratch looked at Tipsy with admiration. "What about the visitors? As moving exhibits, do they comprise transvisional content?" "The Wabbit laughed. ""Good name for a band."

Tuesday, March 20, 2018

9. The Wabbit and the Unsteady Exit

Leaving the Agents prone in the corridor, Tipsy and Lapinette helped the Wabbit from the museum. He was a little wobbly but he grinned broadly and complimented Tipsy and Lapinette on their double act. As they reached the door, the Wabbit looked back. "What about the Coin?" "It's a replica," said Tipsy, "it's all made of ticky tacky." The Wabbit pondered for a moment. "So where's the real coin and what does it do?" "It doesn't do anything you can see," smiled Tipsy," "it just sits around being immensely valuable." "How much is it worth?" asked Lapinette. Tipsy swirled her eyes. "It has no price. It's scarce, rare, unlisted and unpublished." The Wabbit waited for Tipsy tell him where the authentic coin was, but Tipsy was coy. "On the other paw, it is said to have magical powers." "Where - is - it?" growled the Wabbit. Now Tipsy really grinned. "Under a stone in the floor of the Palazzo Madama in Turin." Lapinette was uncertain she's heard the whole truth. "Let's leave the matter there, along with the coin." The Wabbit nodded so hard it hurt his head. He winced. Lapinette tugged his fur. "So. What would you call that for a sort of honeymoon?" The Wabbit giggled. "I'd call it the best one I'd ever had." They all burst into laughter and they were still laughing when they found their way out.

Friday, March 16, 2018

8. The Wabbit and the Coveted Coin

The Agents grinned. The rabbit had come back and she'd brought what they wanted. Tipsy sat down and polished the coin with the hem of her frock. She hummed gently in a beguiling tone that the two Agents found mesmerizing. She rocked the coin in her arms and swayed from side to side until the lead Agent lost his temper. "You've had too much to drink," he sneered. "Oh, I'd love a little dwink," said Tipsy, "Do you have one?" She held the coin aloft. "Look I can pay - with this money." "Give us the coin," yelled the Agent angrily. Tipsy swayed. "Where's my dwink?" The Agent sighed and turned to look at the Wabbit. The Wabbit seemed to be unconscious so he turned back. But the Wabbit had raised himself to a crouch. "The coin," said the Agent. He gestured at Tipsy. "All right," smiled Tipsy. With a sudden twist, she propelled the coin into the air. The Agents grabbed at it in a flurry of paws, but it escaped their grasp. The Wabbit watched it hover. He lurched to his feet and pulled Lapinette's automatic from his fur. In a second that felt like an age, he tilted the gun to the side and fired. The coin sheared and a fragment flew off. The lead Agent howled. "Kill them. Kill them both." The other Agent shouted, "You do it."  He turned and ran from the room. The Wabbit heard gunfire from the corridor, followed by a heavy thud. He rubbed his head and grinned. "I think I'm in charge now."

Wednesday, March 14, 2018

7. Lapinette and the Quick Change

Lapinette took off and ran in search of a coin. She figured any coin would be enough to stall the Agents and she'd seen plenty of coins in museum displays. She flashed down a never ending series of corridors. Artifacts flew past on both sides - but where were the coins? She heard a voice. A figure was running towards her, carrying a large coin that bore a rabbit engraving. "Lapinette!" yelled Tipsy. They slid to a halt. "I'm taking your place." said Tipsy. She shrugged off her frock and threw it on the floor. Lapinette looked puzzled. "Orders," said Tipsy. With lightning speed they changed frocks. "But what about our ears?" sighed Lapinette. "Mine are cosmetic," grinned Tipsy. She unclasped her ear covers and gave them to Lapinette. Now Tipsy was Lapinette. She tucked the coin into her fur. "Where are they?" Lapinette thought for a moment. "Ten corridors down, two left, three right." Tipsy started to run, but Lapinette called her back. "What am I supposed to do now?" "Fitzy and Mitzy will find you." Tipsy sped on and Lapinette sped the other way. But only for a moment. When Tipsy was out of sight, she turned and followed her. She padded the many corridors at a stealthy pace but when she heard voices, she stopped. She checked Tipsy's frock. There was one automatic, an edged weapon and a hand held precision missile. She grinned a lopsided grin like the Wabbit, and breathed. "Everything a girl needs."

Monday, March 12, 2018

6. Lapinette and the Coin Gang

The Agent swung Lapinette into the room by an ear and her automatic flew out of her paw. She slithered across the floor. The Wabbit lay prone, moaning as if he'd been dragged out of bed early. The lead agent shook Lapinette. "Now go and get it!" he yelled. He shook her some more. "Get what?" asked Lapinette. Her head swam. "The coin. Get the coin," said the lead Agent. Lapinette shook her head and played for time. "I don't know anything about coins." The Agent laughed. "You're an expert in numismatics. We don't have all day, get the coin." Lapinette did know a great deal about coins and puzzled desperately. What coin were they so desperate to acquire? She had no clue. The other agent viciously kicked the Wabbit. "We're wasting time." "She knows where it is," said the lead Agent. He looked at Lapinette and snarled. "You have 5 minutes to get us the coin." He slapped the Wabbit's ear viciously back and forward, and yelled at Lapinette. "Five minutes. Start running or the Wabbit's toast." Lapinette spotted the Wabbit's ear fluttering a strange rhythm. "Morse Code!" thought Lapinette. She watched carefully as the ear twitched .-. ..- -. "Run," translated Lapinette. She staggered to her feet. "I'll get it," she nodded - and she ran. The Agents watched her go. But behind them, the Wabbit was reaching for the fallen automatic ...

Friday, March 09, 2018

5. Lapinette and the Deadly Pursuit

Lapinette flew through corridor after corridor. Each was lined with old coins and each looked exactly the same as the last. She could hear voices and her feet skimmed the museum floor as she followed the sounds. They didn't seem so far away, but the museum was a labyrinth and it was hard to tell where they came from. She heard a bang, then a shout - followed by a racket and a bit of a hubbub. It seemed like the Wabbit was giving as good as he got, but she couldn't be certain. The Agents of Rabit were tricky and their methods unsavoury, so she ran even faster. Suddenly she slithered to a halt and peered around a corner. She could see two Agents pulling the Wabbit into a room, laughing their derisive laugh as they went. "Not so smart now, Wabbit!" said one. She crouched low and waited. A chair slammed against a wall, then a sudden slap cracked like a whip. She heard the Wabbit say something and there were two more slaps. "Wabbit, this is not the time for jokes." It was only a murmur under Lapinette's breath but it was too loud. A door flew open and an Agent peered out. She rapidly aimed and fired. The Agent clutched his foot and screamed and swore like a trooper. Then he grabbed Lapinette by the ears and dragged her into the room ...

Wednesday, March 07, 2018

4. The Wabbit and the Sudden Assault

The Wabbit and Lapinette gave Rover the slip in the backstreets and took refuge. The museum was the perfect place and there wasn't a soul there - or so they thought. "We gave him the slip!" grinned the Wabbit. They happily prowled the antiquities. "Too darn quiet," murmured the Wabbit, pointing at this and that. "Did I hear footsteps?" asked Lapinette. "Mice" suggested the Wabbit. This time Lapinette wasn't happy. "Big sounding mice," she said. "With enormous ears?" laughed the Wabbit. They shrugged and prowled on. It happened with sudden speed. The Wabbit glimpsed shadow ears and turned, only to meet the fist of an Agent of Rabit. The Wabbit saw a flash and rather pretty stars. Then things went black and he toppled to the floor. Lapinette wheeled and pulled out an automatic. But the Agents were too fast and they raced along the corridors dragging a dazed Wabbit behind them. Lapinette chased them, firing as she went. But she was afraid to hit the Wabbit and her shots went wide, hitting only shadows. She jumped to avoid bullets as they ricocheted. With her ears against a wall, she paused to think. One thing was sure. Every time the Wabbit said it was quiet, something happened. She dropped another clip into her automatic. "Too loud around here for me." She moved so quickly, she seemed to vanish. Now the corridors echoed to only one sound. The silence of one rabbit running.

Monday, March 05, 2018

3. The Wabbit and the Scenic Spin

Lapinette and the Wabbit took the jeep for a spin along the coast. It was dusk and the street lights painted buildings a garish yellow. Shadows danced merrily as Lapinette sped along the coast. The Wabbit's teeth chattered a hectic tattoo and his bones shook, so he hung on tight and looked around. It was just too quiet. "It's too quiet," he shouted. "You're never happy," replied Lapinette. There was no one around and any amount of space, so Lapinette pulled sharply on the handbrake and span around in a circle. A cloud of grit flew in the air and stung the Wabbit's face. "Happy now?" grinned Lapinette. "Ecstatic," replied the Wabbit. "Shall we go to the museum then?" suggested Lapinette. She gunned the throttle and tore under the viaduct. "It's closed," said the Wabbit. "I have a key," said Lapinette. The Wabbit knew Lapinette had a key, but he also knew it was a skeleton key that fitted every lock in the known world. His eyes twinkled. "Yes, let's go." He grabbed hold as Lapinette suddenly pulled another handbrake turn and swerved back under the viaduct. "Wrong way?" mumbled the Wabbit. Lapinette gestured with her ears and the Wabbit turned. A giant white ball was hard on their heels - and as it rolled, it whined like a fairground siren. "It can't be Rover," gasped Lapinette. "Lose him!" yelled the Wabbit. Lapinette jumped hard on the throttle and they vanished in a cloud of fumes ..

Friday, March 02, 2018

2. The Wabbit at the Adventure Hotel

The Adventure Hotel had been difficult to find. But after a bone shaking drive along a narrow track behind the hippodrome, there it was. "Commander, welcome!" meaowed Skratch the Cat. "Your private quarters await," smiled Wabsworth. He waved to indicate the building.  Lapinette indicated her approval. The Wabbit's eyes sparkled. "Not too far from the bar, I hope?" "Aperitivi on the way," purred Skratch. "Drinks are free if it rains," said Wabsworth. The Wabbit looked up at an unyielding blue sky, looked down and spread his paws. "How is this Adventure progressing?" he asked. "This is not an adventure, you're on special vacation, Commander," said Wabsworth. "Rest and relaxation," meaowed Skratch. "Refreshment and recuperation," continued Wabsworth. "Not to mention Rock and Roll," winked Skratch. The Wabbit glanced at Lapinette. "I get the drift." "So we'll leave you alone now," said Wabsworth. "We're in the main building if you need us," added Skratch. The Wabbit frowned and so did Lapinette. "You're both staying?" "Protection," meaowed Skratch. He hissed and crouched, then waved his paws up and down. "Protection who from?" asked Lapinette. "Enemies," growled Wabsworth. "I'd be quite lost without them," sighed the Wabbit.