Monday, June 17, 2019

1. The Wabbit and the Aimless Hop

The Wabbit hopped aimlessly through the city with hardly a care in the world. He tried very hard not to think, because the minute he realised he was enjoying himself, he would feel anxious. He preferred to be at one with the city; to merge into it, to become indistinguishable from it. "Ultimately I will vanish," he smiled. He looked down at his fur. He hadn't vanished. "OK," said the Wabbit, trying hard not to think. "I will merely taste the flavour of the day." He ambled on, sniffing the air. Memories popped into his head - times gone by, missions accomplished, enemies defeated. "All in the past, transient and fleeting," grinned the Wabbit. The Wabbit growled. He'd remembered he was between missions and that was a place he didn't like one bit. He fished in his fur for his radio, but then drew back, empty pawed. "Lapinette insisted I relax." He continued along the street but stopped dead when he was struck by a sudden insight. "Trying not to think is thinking too." The Wabbit gave up and headed along the porticos to the river to watch the water go by. But something made him turn. It was Lapinette. "Wabbit, Wabbit, your new mission papers arrived, they want you at the Department." The Wabbit hopped with glee. "Don't they know I'm taking a relaxing break," he yelled.

Friday, June 14, 2019

The Wabbit at his Adventure Caffè

The team arrived at the Adventure Caffè. The afternoon was dull and heavy and hot, but there was no more swirling. They all said "Phew!" and relaxed. Lapinette hugged the Wabbit and the Wabbit hugged her back. "What was that for a kind of Adventure?" she asked. "Here comes Skratch to tell us," shrugged the Wabbit. The air got even hotter as Terni arrived. He blasted hot breath across the river and wiggled his wings. "That was a stellar adventure," he roared. "It certainly was," meaowed Skratch, "It was the ghostly epitome of post modernism." Lapinette grinned. "Skratch means that his analysis hasn't actually arrived." The Wabbit tutted and shook his head. "I think the whole question of troublesome alien invaders is a narrative paradigm consistent with paranoid delusion." Wabsworth chimed in. "Not if they are out to get us." Skratch meaowed for attention. "When I was on the saucer, the Ice Mice appeared incompetent. They indicated they didn't know what they were doing." Wabsworth nodded. "So the ripples we experienced were due to the ignorance of the Ice Mice."  Skratch wasn't happy. "It seems to me that their ignorance is a political act. It's a highly aggressive and deceitful manoeuvre, designed to trick opponents into compliance." The Wabbit laughed. "There's a lot of it about." Lapinette waved her paws. "Do you think we could trick anyone into bringing us drinks?"

Wednesday, June 12, 2019

7. The Wabbit & the Wormhole Modulator

"Will it work?" asked Terni the Dragon. "Of course it will work," said the Wabbit. Terni laughed a dragon laugh and despite the Wabbit's various warnings, he slipped from the cargo bay and into deep space. Lapinette nudged the Wabbit. "They're coming." The Ice Mice saucer flew hard on their heels. "And they're none too pleased," smirked the Wabbit. He flicked a switch and a worm hole opened. Terni breathed a cone of flame and launched through. Quantum streaked after him. Lapinette watched the saucer. "Now," she breathed. The Wabbit flicked the switch the other way. The worm hole closed behind them. It was the Wabbit's turn to laugh. "That'll delay them more than Heathrow in the fog." Terni circled and returned on a fiery plume. "Excellent" he roared, "Now shall we all sing?" The speakers crackled. "You start," said Skratch the Cat from the engine room. Terni's voice boomed out. "Terni the Magic Dragon!" "Flies through Outer Space," trilled Lapinette. "He frolics through the galaxy, he's our dragon interface," ad libbed Wabsworth. Everyone laughed so loud that the sound carried through space. On the other side of the wormhole, the Ice Mice scowled and barged and complained about cats. Back on Quantum, the Wabbit set a course for Earth and cracked mice jokes. "I hope they have a mice day."

Monday, June 10, 2019

6. The Wabbit and the Laser Device

The Wabbit was tinkering in the engine room. He was responsible for Lattice Drive and although it looked antediluvian it usually worked - up until now. Lapinette appeared waving a sonic screwdriver, but still, they had no luck. The Wabbit produced an ancient micrometer from his fur and measured everything in sight. "It makes me feel better," he murmured to Lapinette. His stomach rumbled. "Perhaps you're hungry, Wabbit," suggested Lapinette, "Would you like a salad sandwich?" She delved into her frock and plucked out a sandwich. The Wabbit was extremely hungry but he persisted in measuring things. A delicious aroma of salad reached his nostrils and he was so busy savouring it, he failed to notice Skratch returning from the Ice Mice vessel. "Need a helping paw, Wabbit?" The Wabbit looked up. Skratch waved a device. "What's that Skratch, a toy?" Skratch meowed. "This is no toy." The device fired a beam that narrowly missed the Wabbit's ears. They heard a rumble and then a whine. Everything shimmered as Quantum carved a path through the space-time continuum. "Lattice Drive," they yelled. "Where did you get that thing?" asked the Wabbit. "I acquired it," purred Skratch. He grinned. "They'll never miss it." The Wabbit gave it some thought. "Does it do anything else?" Skratch purred long and hard. "Would you like me to heat up that sandwich?"

Friday, June 07, 2019

5. Skratch and the Ailing Power Unit

Skratch the Cat boarded the Ice Mice vessel easily. The door slid back with a pssst sound and he stepped on board. He could see what might be a power unit, but one thing was for sure. It wasn't working. Occasionally it bleeped and flashed but the bleep was tired and the illumination faint. "What can I do for you in your time of need?" meaowed Skratch. "It doesn't work," moaned an ice mouse. "What's wrong with it?" asked Skratch. "We don't know. No-one knows how to repair it," said another ice mouse. "Where's your engineer?" said Skratch. The ice mice wailed together. "We don't have one." Skratch sighed and complained about modern times. "Can you fix it?" asked an ice mouse. Skratch strode forward and kicked it viciously. The unit croaked loudly and a red light came on. "All is not lost," murmured Skratch. He took a can of WD40 and sprayed it in every crevice he could find. Then he kicked the unit again. It started to hum and the light began to pulse. "Aha," said Skratch. He located what looked like a switch, switched it off, then back on. A cooling fan chattered. Lights flickered in an ordered sequence. A robotic voice spoke. "System restored. Please enter your password." Skratch looked at the ice mice and they both shrugged. Skratch screeched long and hard. But he found the keyboard and typed "p a s s w o r d". The unit spoke again. "Booting full power. Have a nice day." The ice mice were delighted and they ran to hug Skratch, but he brought them up short. "That will be 180 QUID," he meaowed.
[QUID is a proposed space currency. The QuasiUniversal Intergalactic Denomination.]

Wednesday, June 05, 2019

4. The Wabbit and the Strange Request

Quantum pulled away from the unknown forces and reached space - but only on push power. "Lattice Drive just won't engage," said Skratch the Cat from the engine room. They were stuck. Now Quantum's voice crackled across the speakers. "Behind you!" A green shadow fell across Quantum's bodywork. "It's the enemy. It's the Ice Mice!" yelled Lapinette. The Wabbit expected fire and he flinched. "Shields up!" he yelled. "I'm a train," said Quantum, "not a Klingon Bird of Prey." But it didn't matter, nothing happened. The ship just stayed there. "They're making me nervous," said the Wabbit. "OK, I'll open a channel," said Quantum. His voice boomed over the public address system. "Ridiculous green saucer, please identify yourself and state the nature of your business." Dead silence. "Try short wave," suggested Wabsworth. The Wabbit plunged a paw in his fur and pulled out a walkie talkie. He struck it three times for good luck and hissed, "We can see you, Saucer. Whadda ya hear, whadda ya say?" At first there was nothing except static. Then the radio whined. "This is the Ice Mice. We're stuck. Have you got a mechanic?" Lapinette burst out laughing. The radio whined again. "It's not funny." The Wabbit called the engine room. "Skratch, would you like a job?" They heard a long feline screech from Skratch. "I don't do rodent control."
[Short waves and other frequencies transmit through space. You can even talk to the space station.]

Monday, June 03, 2019

3. The Wabbit and the Dragon's Flames

The jump was shorter than expected and they all looked out to see the Alps swirling in a spiral. Terni the Food Dragon emerged from the south and flew directly in front. They could hear his cabbage wings flapping, even at this altitude. "What gives?" muttered the Wabbit. "What happened to Lattice Drive?" asked Lapinette. Skratch's voice crackled from the intercom. "Best we can do, Commander." Then Terni chimed in. "Everything is swirling," he roared, "I just got ahead of it." Quantum's engines shuddered, entangled in forces that no-one understood. "I'm going to the engine room," said the Wabbit. He vanished. Lapinette spoke to Terni. "Any ideas?" They were going round in circles and dropping in altitude. Terni flew under Quantum and spread his wings as far as they would go. It seemed to help. Quantum lifted and the grip of the swirling spiral loosened. Lapinette clapped her paws in glee. The Wabbit reappeared. "Something worked," he grimaced. Lapinette nodded at the window. The Wabbit watched in astonishment as Terni's wings drove them higher. "What is this? Game of Thrones?" "All we need are flames," said Lapinette. In an instant Terni created a sea of flame that pushed Quantum higher. "We have full power!" yelled Skratch. The Wabbit signalled to Terni. "Better come aboard. Things are a little too quiet around here."