Friday, November 29, 2013

The Wabbit hops with Marco Mengoni

When the friends turned round, they were in for a shock. "Marco!" sighed Lapinette. "Signor Mengoni?" said the Wabbit. "I'm captivated by your singing meaow!" purred Skratch. "What are you doing here in the Late Tunnel?" asked Wabsworth from the back. "Perché tu sarai sempre il mio solo destino," said Marco, "voglio soltanto amarti senza mai nessun freno.*" "Nice of you to say so, Marco," said Nine the Tram. "Would you like some sand for your brakes?" Marco chuckled. "What am I doing here exactly?" "You've become entangled with us," said Lapinette. "It's a quantum thing." Marco wrinked his nose. "But I'm late for my concert." "Oh, don't worry," said the Wabbit, "you're in the Late Tunnel. You can just pop up later and no-one will ever know you were late." Wabsworth waved his paws urgently. "That's why we're entangled!" Marco looked round."Who are these creatures outside?" "These are the reggae creatures!" said the Wabbit. "Reggae creatures? There's your entanglement answer!" said Wabsworth. Marco nodded and hummed a tune. "We feel it in the one drop; we're lucky!" "For we still got time to rap," harmonised the Wabbit. "And we making the one stop," meaowed Skratch. "And we fillin' the gap," sang Lapinette. "Che pazienza!*" muttered Nine.

[* Because you'll always be my only destiny, I just want to love you without any brakes
* Give me patience!]

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

The Wabbit in the Flash Frame

"But how do we get to the Late Tunnel?" asked Lapinette. "This way!" said Nine, the Number Nine Tram and he jumped off the bridge. "Aaaaagh!" shouted Wabsworth as the sky turned black and buildings stood out like pop up pictures. The river churned as Nine plunged beneath the surface. "Don't people see that?" asked Skratch. "Vaguely" said Nine. "Oh, people can be quite unaware," smiled Lapinette. "I think they see it but they don't believe it," said the Wabbit, "then in a twenty-fifth of a second we've gone." "Like a flash frame!" said Skratch. "We'll be there in a flash!" said Nine, "so please relax and soon we'll be in the grey zone." "Let me get this exactly right," said Wabsworth. "If we're late, we can stay in the Late Tunnel?" "Then we materialise somewhere ahead, appearing to have maintained our schedule," said the Wabbit and he clapped his paws in delight. Wabsworth looked a little worried. "I don't know Wabbit, In physics you get nothing for nothing." "Sometimes you get less," laughed Lapinette. "What is nothing anyway?" asked Skratch. "There is no such thing as nothing," said Wabsworth. There was a sudden hiss of compressed air. "Except in the Grey Zone," said Nine.

Monday, November 25, 2013

The Wabbit arranges a Trip

The Wabbit made a call and within moments, Nine, the Number 9 Tram rumbled into sight. Skratch the Cat pointed to Nine's rear and the Wabbit was aghast. "My goodness Nine, where did you get the graffiti?" "The Saturday football run," said Nine. The Wabbit shook his head sadly but ushered everyone on board. "Where's Wabsworth? He's late." "Here he comes now," said Lapinette. "I went for tickets," said Wabsworth. The Wabbit shook his head again. "We're going to the Late Tunnel and tickets don't exist for this zone." "Well, you never know," said Wabsworth. Nine made a hiss of compressed air. "There are no inspectors in the Late Tunnel," he said. "Please take your seats." "Is there any food? asked Wabsworth. "I have some small Jamaican dumplings in plastic packs," said Nine. The Wabbit scowled because his aversion to dumplings was well known. "We can always use them as ammunition," he quipped and he firmly waved a paw towards Nine. Lapinette hesitated. "What's the Late Tunnel like?" "Relaxing," said the Wabbit. The friends took their seats as advised and reggae music filled the tram. "Who's singing?" asked Skratch. The Wabbit effected a knowledgeable stance. "Eek-A-Mouse!" he smiled. "Where?" yelled Skratch. 

Friday, November 22, 2013

The Wabbit sees Doubles

The friends waited until the hop-on hop-off bus reached Lingotto, then dived round the back of the shopping centre. The Wabbit nudged Skratch. "I told you so!" he murmured. "Told me what? replied Skratch. "There was more to come," said the Wabbit, pointing with a trembling paw. "Have you ever seen anything like it?" "In a nightmare," said Skratch, "I once dreamed we were all ghosts who haunted shopping centres until the end of time." The Wabbit shuddered. Wabsworth flicked his ears. "They're not ghosts exactly." Skratch looked at the Wabbit. The Wabbit looked back, then turned to Wabsworth. "What do you mean exactly?"  Wabsworth's ears flicked again. "I'm picking up a strange signal that suggests they're partially entangled." "Entangled with what?" asked the Wabbit. "Entangled with us," said Wabsworth. "Well I don't want to be entangled," said Skratch, "I'm against it. And that cat is all wrong." Wabsworth's ears quivered. "It's something to do with the Wabbit." The Wabbit flinched. "Wabbit, have you been anywhere strange lately?" Now the Wabbit shrugged defensively. "Only the Late Tunnel." Wabsworth's brain whirred. "Can you get us back there?" I suppose I can," said the Wabbit. "Do you have any spare lunch vouchers?"

Wednesday, November 20, 2013

The Wabbit & the Giant Drink

The Wabbit, Wabsworth and Skratch the cat hopped on the hop-on hop-off bus and acting on advice from a secret source, waited patiently for it to reach Palazzo Madama. Wabsworth insisted on paying for three tickets even though the Wabbit had a pefectly amicable arrangment with the driver. The Wabbit shook his head sadly. "That will do for 24 hours," explained Wabsworth. "We might need more time." "You might be right." Skratch pointed to the street. "Just look at that!" The Wabbit gazed in amazement as a giant can of his favourite drink materialised in the street. "It's crystallised," said Wabsworth. "Maybe someone left it too long in a freezer." The bus stopped for quite a while because traffic had come to a standstill. "Shall we get off?" asked Skratch. "No," said the Wabbit. "I think there's more to come." A whirring sound came from Wabsworth and the Wabbit looked round. "It's my positronic memory," said Wabsworth. "It's reminding me it's time for a snack." "But you're an android," puzzled Skratch. "That doesn't mean I don't get hungry," said Wabsworth, "so what shall we have to drink?" "Let's hop off and have an aperitivo," suggested the Wabbit. "Don't these buses have bars?" asked Skratch.

Monday, November 18, 2013

Skratch foregrounds the Signifier

Acting on information received, the Wabbit and his android double, Wabsworth, hurried to Via Pianezza to meet Skratch. "Skratch!" shouted the Wabbit. "What's with the sign?" Skratch looked very relieved, but smiled all the same. "Wabbit, you know perfectly well that a sign doesn't really exist. It is merely a concept." "It looks like quite a heavy concept," said Wabsworth. Skratch winked at Wabsworth. "It appeared from nowhere," he said. "It materialised?" suggested the Wabbit. "No," said Skratch, shaking his head. "It kind of swam into focus." The Wabbit and Wabsworth looked at each other, then Wabsworth turned to Skratch. "Things have been disappearing," he explained, "and they lose focus first." They thought in silence for a while, but the Wabbit was the first to speak. "Objects are disappearing," he said raising a paw.  Everyone nodded. "And objects are appearing," he added, raising another paw. Everyone nodded. The Wabbit spread his paws wide. "But they are not the same objects!" "That's obvious, Wabbit," purred Skratch. Now Wabsworth looked at Skratch. "What are you doing with the signifier?" "Taking it back to Cine Spezia in Via Nizza," said Skratch. "That's an adult cinema," exclaimed the Wabbit. "Is it?" said Skratch. "I thought it was experimental."

Friday, November 15, 2013

The Wabbit and the Vanishing Objects

The Wabbit met his android double, Wabsworth, at the Palace to discuss the question of the disappearing objects - but things were already out of control. "Thank goodness you're here Wabbit!" yelled Wabsworth. "I've been trying to keep things from vanishing by standing on them, but I just end up on the floor." The Wabbit watched a piece of mosaic go out of focus and tried to grab it, but it floated into the air, became transparent and disappeared. "We have to be more organised," said Wabsworth, "or the whole city will dispppear and us with it." "What!" shouted the Wabbit. "Have any of our friends vanished?" "Not yet," replied Wabsworth. "But Lapinette's lost her whole wardrobe." The Wabbit cringed. "I'll bet she's hopping mad, Anything else?" "Wabsworth lurched down from a rapidly fading artefact and stared at the Wabbit. "She said your secret stash of Irn Bru lemonade had gone." The Wabbit turned pale. "This means war!" he shouted. He shook a paw at the ceiling and paced the length of the room. "The laws of physics say these things will show up somewhere." he decided. "What kind of somewhere?" asked Wabsworth. "The middle of somewhere," said the Wabbit.

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

The Wabbit visits his Desk

The Wabbit paid a visit to his desk, a fairly unusual occurrence because the Wabbit hated paperwork. It was littered with the remains of an old project and everything seemed to be as he left it. The Wabbit rummaged a bit. "It's not precisely as I left it," he murmured to himself. Now Lapinette had put assignment instructions somewhere, but she usually used email. So the Wabbit tipped and tapped and there it was - in his inbox, labelled "Alice, Bob and Eve" which was their secret code for secret messages. The Wabbit left it where it was for a moment and scanned the desk again. "I'm sure I left a something here and now it's gone." The Wabbit knew the removal of an object was unlikely since the facility was top secure and the cleaners never came near his desk, fearing booby traps. "Perhaps the something got inside something else," thought the Wabbit. He flicked through a few books, then pressed a series of keys for double layer decryption and opened his mail.
To: Commander Wabbit: From: Wabbit Command. Reference: Disappearing things. Message: Things have been going out of focus and disappearing. Please rectify. 
The Wabbit looked at the mail and as he thought about the problem, the message went out of focus, then disappeared ...

Monday, November 11, 2013

The Wabbit in the Adventure Caffè

The Wabbit found Lapinette and Skratch the Cat at the Fiat Caffè in Lingotto. He was right on time because the bread had arrived. So he slid into a seat and clutched his bread possessively. "Hello Wabbit!" Skratch had just had his fur trimmed and he studied himself in the mirror. "Do you like my new Runaway Train t-shirt? I couldn't find anything about a tram." "I do like that movie," said the Wabbit. "But life isn't like a film." "Good thing too," said Skratch, "it would be an incredibly long movie and no-one would watch." Now the Wabbit smiled. "Not even if Andy Warhol made it?" Skratch made a long snoring noise then flinched from the withering glance of Lapinette. Now the Wabbit leaned forward and spoke to Lapinette. "Anything on the wire?" he asked. "What wire?" asked Lapinette innocently. "You know," said the Wabbit, "anything in the offing? What transpires?" Lapinette pretended to look puzzled, so the Wabbit addressed Skratch. "What's going down?" he muttered. Skratch grinned at the mirror. "You gotta chill. So take it easy. Put up your paws." But the Wabbit's paws were itching for another adventure. "I need a new assignment," he shrugged. "Details are on your desk," smiled Lapinette.

Friday, November 08, 2013

The Wabbit and the End of the Line

The Wabbit dropped the Reggae creatures at the dance hall in Via Nizza and drove Nine, the Number Nine Tram into Porta Nuova station where it squeezed beside a Big Red Train. Now Nine looked massive and railway passengers looked confused. The Wabbit paid no attention and hopped off. "Goodbye Nine and thanks," he cried. "I learned a lot!" Now he hopped his way along the platform, wondering what to do next. The Wabbit was disappointed that his tram ride was over and he made a face. He was about to encounter what he most disliked - between adventures ennui. He hated the lull that came with any kind of interim. "You can't always be having exciting adventures," he told himself. Suddenly he heard the hissing of compressed air and the clang of a bell, so he turned. "Life is an adventure," Commander Wabbit," shouted Nine. "There's something new around every corner!" The Wabbit grinned and thought of his friends. "Probably they're waiting for me at the Adventure Caffè," he thought. "I've such a lot to tell them." "Commander!" shouted Nine. The Wabbit turned again and Nine let off a hiss of compressed air. "You need a ticket the next time!"

Wednesday, November 06, 2013

The Wabbit and the Big Splash

The Wabbit knew one thing - he had to be his normal self. So he hit the control handle a brutal swipe and Nine the Tram took off at speed. With a hissing of air and clanging of bells, the grey tunnel turned blue-green. Now the Wabbit gazed up through limpid water to an eerie light. "Secure ventilation!" shouted the Wabbit. "and shut the bulkhead flappers!" "I'm a tram, not a submarine," yelled Nine. There was an enormous splash as Nine broke through the surface and shot into the air. "I-ree!" cried the creatures in the back of the tram and one leaned forward and spoke to the Wabbit. "Fra wha pawt yuh deh? Me hear dem say yuh frah Africa?" The Wabbit groped in his fur for his universal translator. "Mi no dryland tourist," he said simply. "I fass and facety?" shrugged the creature. The Wabbit smiled and quivered his ears. "Just kidding," said the creature, taking a seat. There was a shudder and a whoosh as Nine shook off water like a big dog. "You know you're stuck with them now," he whispered. "Why is that?" asked the Wabbit. "They think you're Cunie, the African Rabbit God." "Cunie," mused the Wabbit. "I've been called worse."

Irie/I-ree A cry of delight.
Fra wha pawt yuh deh?: Where are you from? 
Mi no dryland tourist.: I've travelled beyond my home country. 
Fah and facety: Too inquisitive

Monday, November 04, 2013

The Wabbit welcomes them In

The Wabbit made a spur of the moment decision. "Zion tram is coming our way," he sang and he made a sign to Nine the Number Nine Tram. There was a hiss of compressed air and the tram doors folded closed. "The Zion Tram is coming your way, get on board," he shouted to the creatures. "Oh get on board! You better get on board!" One by one the creatures boarded the tram and took their seats and waited. "You got to catch a tram," sang the Wabbit, "because there is no other station." "Then we going in the same direction," sang the creatures. "Ooh ooh!" sang the Wabbit. Nine the Tram took that as his signal and folded his doors, then with an imperceptible shudder, he started to move. "A wa do dem? A wa do dem dem dem?" sang the Wabbit. "A we nuh know - a we nuh know," scatted the creatures. Nine the Tram began to glide through the Late Tunnel like a merchant ship leaving port - and as he gained momentum he gently intoned a Reggae dub. "This Tram," said one creature. "has come to take us home," said another.  "Don't worry about a thing, oh no!" said the Wabbit kindly and he made for the driver's cabin. "'cause every little thing gonna be all right."