Follow the Wabbit
The Adventures of The Wabbit - Il Comandante Coniglio
Wednesday, November 06, 2024
12. The Wabbit and the Quantum Mesh
The Wabbit was nearly as good as his word. With Lapinette safely aboard, Susan zoomed across the location and the Wabbit unleashed the quantum mesh he'd built in his shed. It wasn't quite ready and showed a lack of stability - but it worked. A vortex hovered above the creatures' nest. He never saw where they went, but they went somewhere. "Success," muttered the Wabbit. "Where did they go?" asked Lapinette. The Wabbit shrugged. Somewhere in the inter-dimensionality of the universe," ventured Wabsworth. The scene warped behind them. The Wabbit was jocular. "Foot down Susan, we don't want to join them in the whatsit of space." Ancient fortifications bent like bananas and trees arched like bows but Susan flew right through. Tipsy appeared with the Graboid baby and they both kept up with consummate ease. Muttering and miaowing, Skratch clung on as a cat should. "Did you build this according to a manual, Wabbit?" "Made it up as I went along." replied the Wabbit. A supersonic bang sounded behind them. "Things are retuning to normal," observed Lapinette. The Wabbit gave a wry smile, which was his speciality. "Not quite. Subtle changes." Lapinette put her paws on her hips. "Wabbit!" Skratch giggled. Wabsworth too. "I programmed the vortex to leave a bar behind," said the Wabbit. Wabsworth chuckled. "Does Susan still have that cocktail cabinet?" Susan hung on a wingtip and dived. "There might be leftovers from when we gave Bono a lift." "Doubt it," sulked the Wabbit.
Sunday, November 03, 2024
11. Lapinette and the Adult Graboids
Lapinette looked down, then lifted her walkie talkie and whispered. "I found them." They squirmed and wiggled and writhed below Lapinette's perch but showed no signs of having seen her. Lapinette backed off and let the Wabbit's voice come through the speaker. "How many?" Lapinette's ears flapped. "Three. No sign of any more. One of them has a large tongue." She wondered how to contain them. "There's solid rock here. I think they may have become trapped." The Wabbit was clearly thinking. Lapinette could hear his brain creaking. "Maybe we could contain them." Silence. He was having a long ponder. "I think a quantum mesh would do it." Lapinette thought too. "What?" "Oh you know, a black hole kind of thingy. I'll get Wabsworth onto it." The sun beat down and the beasts continued to writhe. Any tufts of grass that remained went brown and shrivelled. "They don't like sun," said Lapinette. "Useful to know," muttered the Wabbit. As the sun moved round, the creatures emitted frantic sounds and writhed even more. With a howl, their single eyes blinked and the shields that covered them closed. They began to dig down into solid rock like drills. Chatter vibrations shook Lapinettte's 28 teeth. She growled through them. "They're not trapped. So whatever you have in mind, you better make it quick."
Thursday, October 31, 2024
The Wabbit's Bunnyman Hallowe'en
In a break from the usual venue, the Wabbit invited his team to a bunker, deep in the mountains. The cave was lined with warning signs and radiation suits. With a sinister smile he pressed a button and a projector sprung to life. Lapinette squealed with delight. "A Hallowe'en movie!" The image flickered to life with a title card which read, "Bunnyman: Study Extract." The Wabbit touched the pause button and grinned. Skratch arrived together with Wabsworth. "Moving with the times?" The Wabbit's paw hovered over the pause button. "Everything changes." Skratch's meaow echoed down the cavern. "No axe?" Wabsworth nodded. "A chainsaw is always part of the current mode." The Wabbit hit the pause button. Footsteps sounded. The Bunnyman loomed into view. His image flickered on the roof. "I am the Bunnyman!" he leered. Lapinette drew close to the image. Her paw touched the image. "Yeuch" it's wet. "Just condensation," said the Wabbit. She looked closer. It was covered in blood. The Bunnyman leaned out with his chainsaw. Lapinette screamed as it protruded forward and sprayed blood. "I am the Bunnyman, and I'll get you rabbits." The Wabbit switched the projector off, but the image stayed. Then they heard footsteps again from down the cavern. "I live here," continued the echoing voice. "I'll be coming for you." The Wabbit tried the projector again but it was jammed. Finally the image faded. Skratch laughed. "Persistence of vision!"
Thursday, October 24, 2024
10. The Wabbit and Ground Tremors
It burst through the ground, scattering rocks and spraying earth. Then it looked from left to right. Its giant eye became even bigger then swivelled reversed. It made a series of short grunts and moved forward then back. The grunts seemed disappointed. The Wabbit signalled for silence, but the creature sensed it. It let out a shriek and moved backward into the rocks. They all ducked behind the parapet. Somehow satisfied, the creature sank back into the earth. The Wabbit waited. When a suitable period of time had elapsed, he spoke. "What did you notice?" Lapinette piped up. "No mesh over the eye." "And it made a shrieking sound," said Wabsworth. "More articulated," said Skratch. "I thought it gave up too easily," said the Wabbit. "I think we're dealing with a child," offered Wabsworth. Lapinette shuddered. "Where there's a child, there are parents." Everyone shuddered. The Wabbit climbed to a higher spot and surveilled the area. "Could be anywhere. I'll contact Susan. Maybe she can find our new friend." Skratch gave a short meaow. "New friend?" Lapinette grinned. "He's of the dragon persuasion." The Wabbit spoke gently into his radio. "Hello Susan. Search for and establish contact with a black dragon. Meet here." "Copy," said Susan. At that moment howls and shrieks rent the air. "Oh-oh," said the Wabbit. "They can detect radio signals?" asked Lapinette. "Maybe they're going through a phase," quipped the Wabbit.
Wednesday, October 23, 2024
9. The Wabbit & Lapinette at the Old Fort
"I knew we'd find them here!" said Wabsworth. Skratch was still groggy after Susan's Drunken Rabbit manoeuvre. "Shh, we'll shurprise them." Lapinette and the Wabbit had super hearing and couldn't be surprised. "Skratch and Wabsworth have arrived," murmured the Wabbit. Lapinette shrugged. "About time. See anything else," she asked. "Nope," replied the Wabbit. He scanned the horizon. "You can come out now," he said loudly. Wabsworth and Skratch emerged looking rueful. "Bring any food?" said Lapinette. The Wabbit's tummy rumbled immediately. Skratch unearthed a somewhat furry mint lozenge. "Save it for the enemy," grumbled the Wabbit. Wabsworth's ears pricked up. "Incoming." The Wabbit couldn't see or hear anything. But he relied on Wabsworth. "I can hear it," said Lapinette. Skratch indicated that he too could hear something. The Wabbit picked up a low rumble. The ground began to tremble. "It's from beneath us," he yelled. Rocks fell. Then it all stopped. "Curious," he whispered. he motioned for everyone to stay still and be silent. He had no knowledge of any graboids in the area - but that didn't mean there were none. He picked up a rock and threw it. It hit the ground with a smash. A blue metal eye poked through the dirt and looked around. "Everyone! Jump on the parapet," shouted the Wabbit.
Thursday, October 17, 2024
8. Skratch & Wabsworth seek the Wabbit
Skratch and Wabsworth puzzled their way to a precise location. Susan had a fix on the Wabbit and Lapinette, so Wabsworth piloted while Skratch scouted. Then Skratch pounced down like lightning. He shielded his eyes from the light. He turned and looked up at a scorching sun the like of which he'd never seen. He looked down. His body was bending to the right. "I'm getting distortion here on the ground." Wabsworth wasn't experiencing any. Susan confirmed she wasn't either. "Looks like that sun affects only organic creatures," he shouted. Skratch bent his body in an exotic fashion. "Interesting," he meaowed. "Any sign of the Wabbit and Lapinette?" shouted Wabsworth. Skratch prowled around, sniffing. "Some signs of recent conflict, well covered." Wabsworth consulted his electronic kit. "Evidence of the Ice Mice." Skratch nodded. He bounded back into the biplane. "Let's execute a search pattern." Wabsworth pulled up the joystick. "I thought you were more of an on-the-ground feline." Skratch grinned. "I think of flying as a series of long pounces." Susan chimed in. "Shall we perform the drunken rabbit manoeuvre." Skratch giggled. "Oh please. Pass some cat grass and the sick bag."
Tuesday, October 15, 2024
7. The Wabbit and the Dragon Ride
"Let's get them!" The Dragon scooped the Wabbit and Lapinette up and with a flapping of wings, took off. They could just be seen far above the rooftops until they vanished into the clouds. Lapinette clung on for all she was worth and the Wabbit did the same. The Dragon bellowed as he went. "Get them! Rend them! Chew them!" The Wabbit tried to see, but all was obscured by the dark cloud that hung over the landscape. He could only hear the steady tick-tock flap of the Dragon's wings. Lapinette screwed up her eyes and tried to peer down but had no luck. She yelled to the Wabbit. "See anything?" The Wabbit heard her voice and called back. "Not a sausage. Hang on." He activated his supersonic glasses. Now he could make out the boulders of the Ice Mice fort. Tiny figures moved around. "We're heading for the fort. But we're high." The Dragon swooped round on a wing tip. The Wabbit felt a wave of nausea and switched back to normal vision. "I'm not sure how far. Close I think." Wind rushed past his ears, but it slowed. Then they rode the thermals together until the ground levelled beneath them. The garrison came into view. Fire snarled from the Dragon's mouth and belched round the fort. Smoke poured from inside. Ice Mice scurried for cover. Saucers took off at speed. The Wabbit grinned. "First round to us, I think." Lapinette stared at the glowering sky. "How many rounds are we playing?"
Thursday, October 10, 2024
6. The Wabbit and the Dragon's City
The Wabbit swung round as the sky darkened. He heard the roar first. It moved rooftops. Steeples shook and bells tolled. He saw a creature rise, dark against a piebald sky. Wings flapped slowly and each flap brought a beat like a tom-tom drum. The Dragon gazed down. "I'm awe inspiring," it roared. The Wabbit looked at Lapinette and she returned his gaze. She swivelled and stared at the Dragon. She shrugged. "Awe inspiring? Yes. We can't think of anything better." The Dragon was astonished. "You're supposed to be terrified." The Wabbit grunted. "We're seldom terrified." "Bemused, maybe," said Lapinette. The Wabbit agreed. He nodded. "Wryly amused, baffled." The Dragon spat a driblet of fire. "Oh," he said. His wings drooped. The Wabbit smiled. "But maybe you could clear something up?" The Dragon brightened considerably at being asked his opinion. "Who are the creatures in the flying saucers?" The dragon hissed. "Awful fellows. They bring impossible new colours without a by your leave, changing the environment, redwashing as they go." "Breadwashing!" misheard the Wabbit. Lapinette tapped him on the back. "No Wabbit. Unclear and misleading green environmental claims." "I knew this was about the environment," chuckled the Wabbit. "It is the Ice Mice! Misleading us by changing colours." The dragon looked puzzled. "Who are these Ice Mice of whom you speak?" It was Lapinette who took her turn to hiss. "You'll know them when you see them."
[Dragon by Annette Pendlebury Pixabay]
Wednesday, October 09, 2024
5. The Wabbit and the All-out Attack
Lapinette and the Wabbit tracked the source of the trouble using Artificial Intelligence - and a fat lot of good it did them. Despite changing colour. the Old Abandoned Fort had been captured. The Wabbits were spotted immediately, and all hell broke loose. "Incoming!" yelled the Wabbit. "Take cover!" shouted Lapinette. Three saucers rose from behind the hill and delivered as much fire as the Wabbit had ever taken. "Just like the old days?" gasped the Wabbit. "Not quite!" said Lapinette. "They look like old and venerable friends the Ice Mice," said the Wabbit. "But they're not the friendly enemies we once knew," said Lapinette. "Big trouble," groaned the Wabbit. "Woe and tribulation," responded Lapinette. She ducked as what looked like an asteroid flew past her head. "That was no asteroid!" shouted Lapinette, "that was an exploderoid!" There was crump to the left and another to the right. Following the explosions, an orange-red colour remained, unlike any colour that could be explained. "Same tactics as the Ice Mice use," observed the Wabbit. "With more fire power, more sophistication," said Lapinette. Three detonations boomed to the rear. It appeared to signal the end of the attack but the Wabbit and Lapinette took no chances and hunkered down. "I don't think they're firing at us." Lapinette shrugged. "Then who?" asked the Wabbit. Lapinette pointed a pointy paw. "No," gasped the Wabbit ...
[ Meteor and trail: GingerMarie12. Pixabay https://pixabay.com/illustrations/meteor-falling-star-asteroid-cosmos-6406580/]
Thursday, October 03, 2024
4. The Wabbit and the Colour from Space
Lovely Lapinette and the Wabbit responded to a call from Pallazzo Madama in the centre of town. There had been odd sightings. More than odd, some said. They headed to the third floor and Lapinette stood in front of a shaded window. Nothing happened for some time. Then it did. The sighting was an asteroid and it exploded over the rooftops. It vanished. But it showered roofs with tiny particles - or so it appeared. "Did you see it?" Lapinette was fascinated. "I certainly did." The Wabbit was grumpy. "So what the binky was that?" Lapinette said it was an asteroid, but the Wabbit wasn't so sure. "It's an exploderoid," he said firmly. "No such thing," laughed Lapinette. The Wabbit looked grumpily around at the display stands. He didn't like ornate whatnots. "These ornate whatnots seemed to have turned black." "I think they're meant to be black," said Lapinette. "Are they?" said the Wabbit in surprise. "They're very old and valuable," responded Lapinette, "and belonged to the duchy of somewhere important." "That's not important right now," said the Wabbit. "Where is our exploderoid from? I think it's responsible for all the recent incidents." Lapinette thought for a minute. "Did you note the strange colour, not quite red?" The Wabbit thrust his paws in his fur. "I did, it was nothing I've seen before." "Not even in a cocktail," murmured Lapinette.
Tuesday, October 01, 2024
3. The Wabbit and the Tram Accident
The Wabbit and Lapinette headed home. But on the way a tram came off the rails. Normally that would be fine and fixable, but it was an awkward corner. The tram careered towards them and one of the carriages fell over with a thunderous smash, barely missing the Wabbit. The Wabbit picked himself up from the grass and helped Lapinette to extricate her kilt from the wreckage. She brushed herself down, adjusted her kilt and heaved a sigh. "That was no accident." The Wabbit checked for driver and passengers. "It's entirely on its own," he murmured. "Aimed at us," added Lapinette. The Wabbit stomped the length of the tram and back. "It's something to do with that fire yesterday. I can't tell how it's connected but it is." Lapinette knelt bedside the tram and sniffed underneath. "Doesn't smell like a tram. No electrical odours, no braking sand." "Watch out!" yelled the Wabbit. The tram lurched to the side. Lapinette jumped out of the way. The wreckage began to break into tiny pieces. Finally there was little left. Lapinette sifted metal filings until they too vanished. She turned to look at the Wabbit, "Curiouser and curiouser!" The Wabbit grinned. "Looks like a mystery for the Wabbit and Lapinette." Lapinette pirouetted and adopted a Nancy Drew accent. "I think we should take a walk in the fresh air and clear the cobwebs from our brains. The Wabbit grunted. "More than just cobwebs!"
Thursday, September 26, 2024
2. The Wabbit and the Fire Without Heat
The Wabbit received a crackly call on his walkie talkie. The Department was anxious for him to confirm, and he set off immediately. He spoke to no-one in particular. "I think it's that mission Wabsworth was on about." Wabsworth's voice chimed in. "The second one - and you should really terminate group calls properly." The Wabbit growled "Out," and shoved the radio in his back pocket. When he arrived, Lapinette was already investigating. The fire had ravaged a pub, but things appeared strange. "Oh. You got here at last." She didn't turn her head. The Wabbit scrambled on top of the borrowed fire truck. "I hope you got a chit for this." Lapinette's voice was cool. "In your filing cabinet, under "e". "For expenses?" asked the Wabbit. "For expedite this immediately," replied Lapinette. The Wabbit paused for a moment. "Isn't that ember hot?" he asked. "That's the funny thing," mused Lapinette. "This was a raging fire this morning, but none of the ashes are remotely warm." She waved a paw through the flames. Nothing happened. "As cold as death's chill hand." The Wabbit shuddered. "I prefer cold as a dead rabbit's nose." "Now that's creepy!" Lapinette smiled and looked worried at the same time. She pointed into the distance. Similar heaps of embers lay scattered. "It appears to be spreading." "And all of them as chilly as the moon?" grinned the Wabbit. Lapinette grunted. "Chillier."
Tuesday, September 24, 2024
1. The Wabbit and the Electronics Store
The Wabbit bumped into Wabsworth, his android double, outside the electronics store. "Are you on special offer?" joked Wabsworth. "Very funny," replied the Wabbit. He couldn't help noticing Wabsworth's new tattoo, just at the corner of his eye. "New tat?" he countered. "They're all the rage," laughed Wabsworth. "I can fade it out and back at the touch of an internal sensor. The tattoo became invisible and reappeared. "Doesn't that defeat the purpose of permanence?" observed the Wabbit. Wabsworth selected his polychromatic programme. His tattoo flashed then switched off. "I get bored," he shrugged. The Wabbit's shoulders shook with mirth. "Any word from the Department?" Wabsworth guffawed. "You can have a choice of missions. A dull one with plenty of social and environmental meaning." He paused. The Wabbit's ears fluttered. "I've already sorted my stinky rubbish and been to the bottle bank." "Or you can choose a colourful mission with little or no social merit." The Wabbits ears rotated wildly. "The second one sounds good to me. Join us?" Wabsworth flashed his tattoo. "If you can't join them, beat them." The Wabbit laughed. "Your comedy subroutine is improving." Wabsworth leaned back. "I had a lot of fun with that." The Wabbit grimaced. "Let's go into the store. There might be gadgets." Wabsworth grinned and spread his paws. "I don't like the sound of it. Too much negative feedback." Then they laughed and laughed and laughed!
Thursday, September 19, 2024
The Wabbit's famed Adventure Caffè
The team advanced on a new Adventure Caffè, which hadn't even been built yet. The Wabbit insisted that the Museo Nazionale di Risorgimento should have one and there was plenty of room. He'd picked out a suitable location and they were on their way to scout it out. Lapinette was so glad to see the Wabbit again, she threw herself at him, paws outstretched. The Wabbit maintained a stoic smile as was his way. Wabsworth showed obvious delight with the exhibition on the future of Torino and traced his paw along the calligraphy of various old adverts. A faint buzzing indicated he was storing them on his vast memory banks. What he intended to do with all the stuff he collected no-one knew, but his memory was huge and that didn't seem to matter. "Retrieval is everything," he murmured. Skratch was considering what kind of adventure the Wabbit just had. "Your ability to ingest or even engulf genres is amazing, Wabbit." The Wabbit smile was almost annoying. "It's a hybrid phenomenon of my own invention." Lapinette snorted. "High art and the Wabbit?" Wabsworth laughed and traced round an area in the display. "You set the paintings free through their own plasticity." Skratch agreed. "They left their boundaries behind." The Wabbit began to hop. Lapinette joined him. Soon they all hopped. "Are we free due to our own plasticity?" asked Lapinette. She rose gently and descended. The Wabbit stopped hopping. One by one they all became still. A dramatic hush fell. "We're certainly free of a drink until we build the new Caffè," whispered the Wabbit.
Friday, August 23, 2024
5. The Wabbit and Popular Opinion
The Wabbit shook his head and in conjunction with Tuccia, he thought of an idea. He'd canvass the viewers opinions. He borrowed a clipboard and did exactly that. He left Caravaggio's painting with an astronaut he'd just met and persuaded him to reframe and remount the painting. Then he allowed visitors to file past. In total he spoke with 180 visitors. The results were fascinating. Four people thought the astronaut was Caravaggio. Around half were convinced the Caravaggio painting was a fake but were unable to say why. Some eighty visitors held that the painting was indeed the original, pointing to the detail and fine brushwork. Two visitors had seen other versions in various countries, but liked this one better. One visitor thought that this was a fine copy using scan technology. All the same, he made a bid of several million for it. One was unhappy about his children seeing it and covered their eyes with a brochure. Another eight preferred the picture of the Wabbit but despite enquiries, couldn't find it. The Wabbit promised everyone the final results, but knew that although they were interesting, they were unsatisfactory. "Needs more research," he said. The astronaut nodded. "The last exhibit got a prosecco." "Coming up," grinned the Wabbit - and he called the bar.
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