Saturday, December 31, 2011
Friday, December 30, 2011
10. The Wabbit lures his Enemies
Thursday, December 29, 2011
9. The Wabbit, the Statues and the Flammable Canisters
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
8. The Wabbit Undercover
corno portafortuna: good luck charm to chase away the evil spirits, typical of Calabria and Naples
Monday, December 26, 2011
7. The Wabbit and Cardinal Lapin
Sunday, December 25, 2011
6. The Wabbit poses for a Photograph
Saturday, December 24, 2011
5. The Wabbit and the Agents of Rabit
Friday, December 23, 2011
4. The Wabbit directs the Traffic
Thursday, December 22, 2011
3. The Wabbit meets his friends in a Jiffy
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
2. The Wabbit arrives in Style
Monday, December 19, 2011
1. The Wabbit and the Forgotten List
Saturday, December 17, 2011
The Wabbit sends an Alert!
"The Wabbit calling Franco, do you copy?" said the Wabbit. "There's no need for that, Wabbit, it’s a telephone," replied Franco as he swerved around a barrier. "Oh really, how disappointing," said the Wabbit. "What can I do for you Wabbit?" said Franco, ducking under another barrier. "Be on the lookout for a strange helichopper," said the Wabbit. "I clocked him, he’s at three o’clock," said Franco. "Did he spot you?" asked the Wabbit. "Yes, but I lost him," said Franco, "I swerved into an underground car park the wrong way." "Where are you now?" asked the Wabbit. "Coming out of the underground car park," said Franco. "The wrong way?" said the Wabbit. "It's possible," said Franco. "Do you think it's the Agents of Rabit helichopper?" said the Wabbit. "It hovers like a ghetto bird," said Franco. "That's their style," said the Wabbit. For a while, there was silence from Franco and the Wabbit heard a series of swerving noises. "Sorry Sir, I hit some cardboard boxes," said Franco. "Pay no attention," said the Wabbit and flinched at a loud bang. "What was that Franco?" asked the Wabbit. "A news vendor stand," shouted Franco and he whooped. "Pay no attention," said the Wabbit. Suddenly, there was a piercing scream of sirens and the Wabbit asked again what was happening. "I'm in the slipstream of a fire engine," said Franco. "Excellent!" said the Wabbit.
Friday, December 16, 2011
The Wabbit and SPQR
"I'm so pleased to be coming with you to Rome," said Robot as the Wabbit hopped round Skratch’s van. "You're one of us now," said the Wabbit, "of course you come with us!" "I'm going to see my favourite football team," said Robot. Everyone stared in amazement. "What team?" enquired the Wabbit with interest. "SPQR," said Robot. There was a surprised tittering but the Wabbit didn't turn a single hair. "Soccer Playing Quadruped Robots?" he asked. Now it was everyone else's turn to stare at the Wabbit, who merely grinned. "We're expecting Heart of Midlothian Football Club for a friendly match," said Robot. The Wabbit's fur stood on end. "No such thing," he stated categorically. "Will they give us a kicking?" asked Robot. "Not if you deliver to them a kicking first," said the Wabbit. "Mo' te gonfio!" shouted Robot, who then swayed from side to side, making klaxon sounds. "Wabbit, have you been tuning Robot's circuitry again?" said Lapinette sternly. The Wabbit shrugged. "Not guilty," he said and kicked the ground playfully. Everyone flinched as a stone ricocheted around the building site in a trajectory that narrowly avoided the Wabbit himself. "We're being watched," said Skratch abruptly. The Wabbit flicked his eyes to the sky. "Normal paranoia," he muttered and he had a think. "Is Franco taking the jeep?" he said to Lapinette. ""He's on his way," she said. "Can you get him on the blower?" asked the Wabbit.
Mo' te gonfio : "I'll beat you until you're swollen." A slogan of Roma FC.
Thursday, December 15, 2011
The Wabbit and the Big Steam Train
The Wabbit spotted Puma getting down from a Big Steam Train and he hopped up very quickly to find out what was happening. "Hello Wabbit," said Puma, "I have arranged my lift to Rome." "This train doesn't go anywhere," said the Wabbit. "You're quite mistaken," said the train. "The train is taking 500 children with special needs on a surprise trip to Rome," said Puma. "What's your name?" said the Wabbit to the train. "I am Gr 940-330," the train replied. "I'll never remember that," said the Wabbit, "do you have a nickname?" "I call her Thunder," said Puma. The Wabbit thought that was a much better name than a row of numbers and he nodded his head in agreement. "Puma, please stay in the cabin. Don't prowl the train, frightening the children," he said. "I am detailed to provide entertainment," said Puma. The Wabbit looked questioningly. "Together with the children I will look out the window and count things," said Puma. "Like telegraph poles?" asked the Wabbit. "Especially the ones with numbers, and then we will all calculate our average speed and there will be a prize," said Puma gravely. "A prize?" said the Wabbit. "A signed copy of our book on release," said Puma. "What a good idea," said the Wabbit, "and educational too." He deftly signed several imaginary copies of their book and grinned. "Thunder, will you set Puma down at the Stazione di Roma San Pietro?" he asked. "Now, that's what I call a railway station!" said Thunder.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
7. The Wabbit and the Tourists
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
6. The Wabbit and the Name
Sunday, December 11, 2011
5, The Wabbit and the Radio Promotion
[Bobby Brown Goes Down, Sheik Yerbouti. Frank Zappa. 1979]
Saturday, December 10, 2011
4. The Wabbit and Market Research
Friday, December 09, 2011
3. The Wabbit goes to the Publisher
Thursday, December 08, 2011
2. The Wabbit and the Book Proposal
Wednesday, December 07, 2011
1. The Wabbit in the Secret Garden
Tuesday, December 06, 2011
Lovely Lapinette goes to the Market
Lapinette was hopping through a market in the Corso Spezia when Ghost Bunny swooped between the stalls. "Have you seen the Wabbit?" she said breathlessly. "He's nearby. He's looking for an out of print book on Robots," said Lapinette. "I could have found it for him," said Ghost Bunny. "You know he thinks that’s no fun," said Lapinette, "and so I have to hop endlessly through markets while he rummages." "He does find things," said Ghost Bunny, who loved the Wabbit. "Yes, and he keeps them all in his fur. Never go through airport security with the Wabbit," sighed Lapinette. "We'll be travelling soon ourselves," said Ghost Bunny with glee. "Yes, I wanted to talk with you about our Rome trip," said Lapinette. "Special duties?" asked Ghost Bunny. "Yes," said Lapinette. "Just between us?" said Ghost Bunny. "Only between us," said Lapinette. "Oooooh," moaned Ghost Bunny and she hovered. "What, where, who?" she shrieked. "I want you to keep a special watch on the gang and periodically report to me," smiled Lapinette. "To keep them out of trouble?" asked Ghost Bunny in a ghostly wavering voice. "Exactly," said Lapinette. "Are you expecting any particular trouble?" said Ghost Bunny. "No, just general trouble," grinned Lapinette. "The worst kind," said Ghost Bunny. "But the most fun," laughed Lapinette.
Sunday, December 04, 2011
The Wabbit and the Chummery
The Wabbit took Robot to the place he now called Pluto Park. It was Ghost Bunny's favourite place to haunt and the Wabbit knew he would always find Ghost Bunny in that vicinity. "Who's your friend?" fluttered Ghost Bunny as she swooped very close to Robot. "Frighteningly yours," she moaned and came to a sudden halt. "You'll be looking after Robot for a while," said the Wabbit. "A delight to meet you Miss Phantasm," said Robot. "Ms" said Ghost Bunny. "Pardon me," said Robot. "Forgiven," said Ghost Bunny and then she spoke enquiringly. "I do like you, Robot. What is your general framework?" "Neural," said Robot. "And your memory?" asked Ghost Bunny. "Positronic," said Robot. "Ooooooh," sighed Ghost Bunny and she drew closer. "Do you by any chance have buttons?" she asked in a low voice. "Plenty, said Robot, "but they're hidden." "Don't let the Wabbit touch your buttons," whispered Ghost Bunny. "Why not?" said Robot in a hushed tone. "He does seem quite the Wabbit with circuitry." "Ah!" said Ghost Bunny. "Where the Wabbit and buttons are together, drama always ensues." "I can't hear you. What are you talking about?" asked the Wabbit. "I was just saying that Robot should come to our chummery," said Ghost Bunny. "What on earth is a chummery?" said the Wabbit. "It's a place where chums are billeted together," said Ghost Bunny. The Wabbit shook his head for a while. "And you may not push my buttons," said Robot suddenly. Ghost Bunny flinched and cowled her eyes. "You have buttons!" exclaimed the Wabbit.
Saturday, December 03, 2011
The Wabbit and the Two Baby Question
The Wabbit decided to take Robot for a refreshment. "What would you like?" asked the Wabbit. "A small bottle of contact lubricant," said Robot. The Wabbit was about to place an order when he heard a voice. "Hello my Wabbit!" said Lapinette. "Hello Lapinette, I thought you were having your fur done." said the Wabbit carefully. "That was yesterday," sighed Lapinette and she studied Robot closely. "Who is this, Wabbit?" she asked with interest. "It's Robot," said the Wabbit. Lapinette paused. "Wabbit, have you been taking things from museums again?" she said suspiciously. "Not at all," said the Wabbit. "Technically speaking, Robot has been liberated." "Liberated!" said Lapinette and she turned to Robot. "Piacere, bella coniglia, sono a tua disposizione," said Robot. "Were you oppressed, courteous Robot?" asked Lapinette directly. "Definitely," said Robot. "What was the nature of your oppression?" asked Lapinette. "I have a brain the size of a city yet every day I had to meet and greet and iron and clean and use a vacuum cleaner," said Robot, exhaustively. "Oh yes, I quite understand," said Lapinette quickly. "I told you," said the Wabbit. "Did you tinker with Robot's circuitry," said Lapinette firmly. "Only in the interests of freedom and justice," said the Wabbit and clenched a paw. "Hmmm," said Lapinette. "Who are these two babies?" asked Robot. "I don't know. Perhaps they're baby Buddhas," said the Wabbit and he looked behind him. "Are you baby Buddhas?" he asked. "No," said one baby. "Yes," said the other.
[Piacere, bella coniglia, sono a tua disposizione: Enchanted, beautiful rabbit, I am at your disposal.]
Friday, December 02, 2011
The Wabbit and the Meet and Greet Robot
The Wabbit was taking a short cut through the Old Converted Train Factory when he heard an electronic voice. "Hello Wabbit, Hello Wabbit," said a Robot. The Wabbit looked up at a friendly robot face. "Meet and greet. Meet and greet," said the Robot. The Wabbit smiled. "You don't have to say everything twice." "I have to, I have to," said the Robot. The Wabbit thought for a minute and then he fished in his fur for an electronic meter that he'd bought in a market. He opened a hatch in the Robot's side and prodded with the electrodes. "Now say "Quando il coniglio, senza consiglio, con la coniglia, fece famiglia."" instructed the Wabbit. "Bel coniglio, Marcus Aurelius," said the Robot. The Wabbit snickered maliciously with all of his 28 teeth and made another adjustment. "Say, "I Robot."" said the Wabbit. "That's missing a verb," said the Robot. The Wabbit grinned, snapped shut the hatch and dusted his paws. "Would you care for some part time work?" asked the Wabbit. "I can't go out," said the Robot. The Wabbit reopened the Robot's hatch and made another adjustment. Then he stood high on his hind legs and looked all around. "We're just going for a little hop around!" shouted the Wabbit. "Any objections?" he bellowed. There was a long silence. "Did you hear an objection, Robot," asked the Wabbit.”I heard zilch, let's go," said the Robot.