Wednesday, May 31, 2023

3. The Wabbit and the Cinematic Smile

The Wabbit clawed at the Mask. He was no longer in the church but in a cinema. Or so he thought. "Ha ha ha," laughed the Mask. The Wabbit's lips moved but he was no longer in control of them. He tried to get the Mask away from his face, but nothing worked. It was stuck like a ghastly shadow. "I know you evil spirits - and you are one, Wabbit." The Wabbit said the words although he wanted to say something else entirely. But the Wabbit knew one thing. The Mask could read his thoughts. "I'm not the evil spirit you think," he thought, "I'm not even an Agent of Rabit." Three was a terrible cackle and the Wabbit realised he was the one who made it. "Perhaps I'm not the trickster you think I am," said the Mask, "Perhaps I'm a normal law-abiding citizen." The Wabbit hopped round and round the cinema. "Get out of my face, you monster!" he thought. The only response was a guffaw and the Wabbit's lips curved into a demonic smile. The Mask was in control of his face and mouth - but it wasn't in control of his arms. He rummaged under his fur for something useful. Everything he came across was useless. There was a pistol, a can opener and there was the lighter that started the whole business. Nothing useful. Until his paw came across a slim tube. The Wabbit smiled inwardly and tried not to think. It was something almost forgotten that he'd been saving since last Hallowe'en ...

Monday, May 29, 2023

2. The Wabbit and the Mask in the Dome

No sooner had the Wabbit lit the candle, than the vast ceiling filled with golden light. He felt disembodied. Every part of his body became flat. He was being drawn upwards towards the dome. It was a steady ascent. His legs tingled. He peered into the light. He could make out two eyes, a nose and then a giant face. It was an impish face with impish ears and a devilish grin that split the face in two. The Wabbit blinked. It's more of a mask he thought. "Yes, Wabbit. I'm all mask." The voice filled the dome with echoing laughter. "It knows my name," thought the Wabbit. "I know everything," laughed the Mask, "because I'm Phoenician." The mask darted here and there around the dome. Occasionally it giggled. The Wabbit thought he may as well ask a question. "What are you doing here? This a Christian Church." The mask floated in front of him. "Plenty of evil spirits here. I frighten them away." The Wabbit tried to twist out of his flat shape. The mask made a frightening face. "Good for you. I don't suppose you could put me down?" said the Wabbit. He squirmed round so he could see the floor. The mask released its grip - and showered in gold particles, they both floated down. "Shall we play a game? asked the mask. Suddenly he jumped and the Wabbit was wearing the mask ... 

[Mask by Camilla Galli da Bino]

Friday, May 26, 2023

1. The Wabbit and the Holy Temple

The Wabbit was out for a constitutional hop in EUR. He wondered why it was called constitutional. "I suppose it's good for the health," thought the Wabbit. He scampered down the steps at the side glancing back to look at the dome. St Peter and St Paul aren't in," he mused to himself. "Package from Amazon," he intoned in Latin. He snickered. A voice from the heavens boomed out. "Leave it with the Most Holy Concierge." The Wabbit was amused, but he looked back, then thought perhaps he should go inside. He retraced his steps and hopped to the door. It was big - but it was closed. The Wabbit leaned against it. Nothing. He gave it a surreptitious kick. Nothing. Then he realised that the door opened the other way. Feeling foolish, he pulled and went through. The Basilica was light and airy. He looked up to the massive dome. Golden light flooded down. He looked all round. Chapels on the right and chapels on the left. Chapels everywhere. The Wabbit sat down on a handy pew to take the weight off his feet. He thought about a prayer, but he wasn't in the habit of praying. He got up to light a candle and fished in his fur for a lighter. But the only lighter he had with him bore the inscription, "Flanagan's Pub, Cork. Where drinking problems continue." He shrugged - and flicked it into life. Then he lit a candle and sat back ...

Monday, May 22, 2023

The Wabbit's famous Adventure Caffè

They met at the Ape Bar being one of the Wabbit's favourites. Lapinette waited patiently for the Wabbit to point out the wall plaque of a bee - which he invariably did. Everyone nodded gravely. "It was a popular heraldic device in 15th Century Italy," said Wabsworth. "Don't you start. The Wabbit's bad enough," exclaimed Lapinette. "Here's Skratch now!" said the Wabbit, "with an inappropriate t-shirt."  Skratch meaowed. "I thought she was quite fetching." "I mean the period," said the Wabbit. "Neolithic is ten thousand years BC, not a million." Skratch merely shrugged. "So what was that for a sort of adventure, you just had." Wabsworth clapped. "Semioticians can't dig up the ground." Lapinette laughed. "But they can be drawn." Skratch laughed. "The picture is undoubtedly a sign." The Wabbit was drawn to comment. "Drawings in caves are signs just like our advertisements." Wabsworth agreed. "Yet the standing stones and also the circles are iconic signs. Your giant himself is quite a sign, however much he tries to be a signifier." Lapinette was getting thirsty. She drew herself up and looked towards the bar. A waitress appeared with a tray. "I think they know what we want." The Wabbit laughed and laughed. "I ordered it already."

Sunday, May 21, 2023

8. The Wabbit and the Great Hoisting

Lapinette manoeuvred down near the Fontana del Giglio and jumped out. The Wabbit welcomed her but she had no time for all that. She attached the giant to ropes and began to hoist him up. "Can't I stay?" said Bes, "this seems most pleasant." Lapinette shook her head "No, I have a much better place in mind. It has a lake and it's less touristy." She radioed to Wabsworth, and he guided the ropes. "Who's flying the helichopper?" asked the Wabbit. "No-one," snapped Lapinette, "it flies itself." The Wabbit shrugged and turned his attention to the Agent of Rabit. The Agent was trying to slope off whilst no one was looking. "Hoi," shouted the Wabbit. "You caused all this trouble, where do you think you're going?" The Agent looked back. Nothing to do with me. The box acquired me, not the other way round." The Wabbit shrugged. "Fair enough. Be off with you then." He thought for a moment. "Where is that mechanism. Where's the box?" Far out in the lake he heard splashing. Ducks flew from right to left and back. He saw bubbles. He nodded to himself. "It must have hitched a ride on the helichopper." For a second, he saw the actual box come to the surface. He thought he heard a laugh. It was more of a giggle. Then felt wind and heard roaring. He looked up see the helichopper disappear. He waved. Then hop by hop he continued his walk.

Wednesday, May 17, 2023

7. Lapinette on the Trail of the Wabbit

Lapinette's helichopper headed for the Wabbit's last coordinates but Wabsworth had an idea. Lapinette wheeled back to the park and set down where Wabsworth indicated. Wabsworth radioed for the Wabbit and he answered - but he wasn't where he said he was. At least, he couldn't see him. He looked behind him. Lapinette waved her paws up and down. "There, there!" He swivelled and bent down to pick up the box, then drew back. "You told me that box was dangerous, and it certainly is. It's emitting bursts of unusual radiation." Lapinette pulled back on the cyclic and the helichopper rose. Wabsworth moved to a respectable distance. He was still in communication with the Wabbit. "You've been exposed to danger. You might be invisible." The radio crackled. "Well I can see you," said the Wabbit, "so I think we're a tad out of phase." "We?" queried Wabsworth. "Just get us back in phase, Wabsworth. That's me, one giant, one Agent of Rabit." Wabsworth executed an infrequently used programme and waited until completion. "Commander, you are required to move to the following coordinates. We will meet you there." He signalled to Lapinette and jumped back in the helichopper. He indicated the coordinates. Lapinette began a short, skilful, and methodical journey - then set down in an impossible location. "Now I can see him," she said, "but he has unusual pals." Wabsworth grinned. "He's the Wabbit."

Monday, May 15, 2023

6. The Wabbit and the Sticky Mechanism

The Giant Bes took the Wabbit up the road a bit and there they spotted the Agent of Rabit. He didn't see them coming. The Wabbit noticed the Agent had recovered the mechanism from the lake - or maybe it had recovered the Agent. "What's that?" whispered Bes. "It's a mechanism that collects things for a magic box." replied the Wabbit. The Giant's shoulders heaved in helpless mirth. His eyes became red suns. "Can't collect me, hee hee." The Wabbit grimaced. "You'd be surprised." They both looked at the Agent. "Is he stuck?" said Bes. The Wabbit poked out a paw and tapped the Agent on the arm. The Agent startled awake and turned. When he saw the Wabbit and the Giant, he looked aghast. He gasped. "It's only resting." The Wabbit shrugged. "It never ever rests." The Agent shook his head. "You can have it. Here!" But the mechanism was stuck to his paw. He tried to shake it off, yet he more he shook the more it fastened its grip. "Give it to me," said Bes. He made a fist to squash the mechanism - but only succeeded in smashing the Agent's paw. "Yow," cried the Agent. "Don't be a baby," said Bes. He managed to get his thumbs around the keys - and suddenly they turned. "Oh, oh," muttered the Wabbit. It was as if a curtain descended because the scene changed. They were all in the Villa Pamphili Park in Rome. And he could hear the thudding of a helicopter. It was moving away from them and towards the sea. He groaned and slapped a paw to his forehead ...

Wednesday, May 10, 2023

5. The Wabbit and Bes, the Giant

The Wabbit woke from a deep slumber to find himself in a pleasant dell. Behind him was an ancient stone building. But in front of him was a giant - and he too was made entirely of stone. He shouted at the Wabbit. "What are you doing in my domain? You tourists are nothing but trouble! Be gone!" The Wabbit rocked back on his rabbit toes and smiled. "I'm no tourist." He stretched out a paw to greet the giant. He noticed his paw was glowing. He improvised. "By my glowing paw shalt thou know me." The Giant touched the Wabbit's paw. "I hear that brings good luck." The Wabbit looked around. "Only when it's detached. Is that your house?" The giant shook his enormous head. "My house is far from here. I tried to take the bus, but they wouldn't let me board." The Wabbit giggled. "That wasn't fair!" "They said no pets allowed." It was then that the Wabbit noticed the Giant was clutching a snake. "Is that your snake?" The giant roared with laughter. "He tells me jokes." The Wabbit was on familiar territory. "He can weigh himself you know." The giant looked quizzical. "He has his own scales." "Ha, ha. I like you," said the giant, He paused. "I'm Bes, what's your name?" "I'm the Wabbit," said the Wabbit.  He thought for a minute. "Tell me. Have you seen any odd looking rabbits round here?" Bes snorted. "I did, I saw one back up the road." The Wabbit grunted. "Take me there?"

Monday, May 08, 2023

4. The Wabbit and the Stones in the Forest

The Wabbit emerged from a hole in a forest into what looked like a passageway. "It's just the way the light falls at twilight," he reasoned. Surrounded by ancient stones, he tottered from side to side like a drunken wheelbarrow. He clutched at his radio and to his surprise it crackled. "Come in Wabbit, come in." It was Lapinette's voice, but she was strangely distorted. "Wabbit, copy. Wabbit here." It was all he could manage. "Wabbit, I'm at the place in the park you mentioned. Where are you?" The Wabbit looked all round and tried to get his bearings. "Forest," he said. Lapinette grunted. "That narrows it down." The Wabbit pulled himself together. "I came out from a hole in the middle of standing stones - and the evening sun is lighting my path." Lapinette thought that sounded poetic, but it really didn't help. "Can you see anything else?" The Wabbit employed his special blue glasses. He felt something pushing him sideways, then back. "I can see big stones all standing up in a long line." The radio crackled again. "I'll look it up. Stay where you are and don't move. Out." The radio fell silent. A breeze sprang up. Trees swayed in the wind and made a whispering sound that soothed him. Leaves rustled at his feet and turned over. The stones and the hole he'd emerged from appeared to rock back and forth. The Wabbit was lulled. He felt very, very tired and lay down by the stones. Then he fell fast asleep.