"Where did we have to turn?" said the Wabbit. "Left at Albuquerque," said Lapinette. "Ha ha," said the Wabbit, "you got the wrong rabbit." "If you weren’t haring along you wouldn’t miss turns," said Lapinette. "I’m used to better," said the Wabbit. Lapinette smiled. "You mean Turbina?" she said, "well you can’t always drive a jet car." "I prefer to," said the Wabbit. "You prefer a car to fly," said Lapinette, "and that's weird." "I like Turbina," said the Wabbit, changing gear. "She has an impossibly high rank," cautioned Lapinette. "Yes," said the Wabbit, "it’s so high that no one knows what it is." "There was silence and all they could hear was a faint hum and the murmuring of Capital Radio. "No-one much about," observed the Wabbit. Lapinette tossed her ears back. "I thought you liked a quiet drive." "It's spooky," said the Wabbit. "And if it seems wrong, it probably is." "Do you think they were spirited away?" asked Lapinette. The Wabbit considered. "Now you’re talking," he answered. "It’s very spooky indeed." Lapinette dug the Wabbit in the ribs. "Do you have the toll money?" "It’s in my fur," said the Wabbit. "I’ll never find it in time," groaned Lapinette. "Maybe there won’t be anybody at the toll," said the Wabbit. And there wasn’t.
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
Tuesday, July 30, 2013
Monday, July 29, 2013
Friday, July 26, 2013
Thursday, July 25, 2013
The Wabbit heard their truck pull up and then the sound of pawsteps. He looked at Lapinette and winked and Lapinette winked too. Skratch the Cat saw Lapinette wink and thought the wink was for him - so he winked back. "What an adventure that was," he purred. "I'm thinking of writing an article about it myself." "Surely not for Jump Cut Review" said the Wabbit. "Oh," said Skratch, with a disappointed tone. "How did you know?" "I'm intuitive," said the Wabbit. "Also it's on your t-shirt." "In all the excitement I'd quite forgotten," sighed Skratch. Lapinette waved a paw for attention. "I thought that adventure would make a film series, with each film sharing a common diegetic world," she said. Lapinette had benefited from a classical education and had read up especially for such a conversation. "Diegetic - is that a stomach complaint?" said the Wabbit. "You know it's not!" said Skratch. "It refers to narrative devices that create a consistent emotional world for the characters in the story." "Like jump cuts?" asked the Wabbit slyly. Lapinette tapped the table once with her paw. "In that story, there was only one jump cut," she said. The Wabbit and Skratch looked horrified. "Where?" they yelled.
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
Monday, July 22, 2013
Safely in the Wabbit’s hot air balloon, the gang made their getaway with the giant key at their side. The Wabbit’s walkie talkie crackled. "Red Spiders, Commander," said Duetta’s silky voice. "We have the prisoners." "Take them to the interrogation ramp," said the Wabbit, "and don’t drop them." Even through the radio, the Wabbit could hear the rustling of spidery legs as Duetta and her cohorts flew quickly across the city. "What about the saucer, Commander?" asked Duetta. "Give it another 5 kilometres," said the Wabbit, "then there might be turbulence." The Wabbit pressed a yellow switch and gave the radio to Lapinette. "Do you want to say the word?" Lapinette looked questioningly. "It’s voice activated," said the Wabbit. "What should I say?" asked Lapinette. "What would I say?" smiled the Wabbit and he winked at Skratch. Lapinette shrugged somewhat like the Wabbit and spoke softly into the radio. "Kaboom?" For a second there was nothing. Then they heard a creak, followed by a small bang. "Is that it?" asked Skratch. The Wabbit held up a paw. A deafening explosion ripped the craft apart and hurled bits of spaceship as far as the Alps. "That's it," said the Wabbit.
Friday, July 19, 2013
Thursday, July 18, 2013
The Ice Mice didn't notice anyone or anything. They were much too intent on their task. And Lapinette had been right. The leader appeared to control the key through the other mice and gradually it made its way high into the roof of the Ice Mice craft. "I’ve seen something like this in Flash Gordon," said Skratch. The Wabbit kept his eye on the progress of the key. "What did he usually do?" he murmured. "On most occasions," said Skratch, "Flash Gordon’s accomplice Dr Zarkov would invent a new ray gun." The Wabbit paused to acknowledge a light flashing somewhere in the deeper recesses of his brain - and he looked across at Lapinette. "How are you for interesting ammunition?" he breathed. "I have some plastic-cased-telescoped bullets," said Lapinette, "they’re both undetectable and extremely light." The Wabbit smiled a sinister smile. "You’ve got lots then?" "Oodles," said Lapinette. She ruffled her dress and several rounds fell quietly to the floor. "OK. When I say fire," said the Wabbit, "give it everything you’ve got." "At the Ice Mice or the key?" said Lapinette. "The key hole," said the Wabbit. "I want to see daylight."
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
Monday, July 15, 2013
Friday, July 12, 2013
At the end of the long corridor the gang startled the Ice Mice. Bent over a chart that floated in the air without support, they appeared to be simulating a weather attack on the district of Lingotto. The Wabbit clapped his paws together three times and they looked up in absolute surprise. "No one expects the Wabbit," he chanted in an annoying sing-song voice. "You bring no weapons?" sneered the leader. The Wabbit grinned. "Our chief two weapons are surprise, surprise and surprise." "That’s three!" said the Ice Mice together. "Then you see what I mean!" chirped the Wabbit. Skratch purred in a most sinister manner and shook a paw at the Ice Mice. "Your ship is surrounded," he said. "Put away your map, you won’t need it." The Ice Mice laughed. "We don‘t care," said the leader. "Our weather needs the key - so now you can give it to us." The Wabbit turned to Skratch. "What's this about a key? Did you bring a key?" "I never carry a key, I can get in anywhere," growled Skratch and he nudged Lapinette in turn. "Do you have a key?" "I always have a spare key hidden away," said Lapinette and she felt behind her, "because preparation is the key to success."
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Tuesday, July 09, 2013
Monday, July 08, 2013
Friday, July 05, 2013
In a secret warehouse, Lapinette and the gang unloaded the big key from the truck. The key hovered slightly - which made moving it somewhat problematic. "Left paw down a bit, right paw down a bit, a bit to the left - no to the right," said Lapinette. "I think I know how to unload a key from a truck," said Skratch. "The key is really quite robust," said the Keeper of the Keys. "The Wabbit was quite specific," retorted Lapinette. "When we get the key safely out, Skratch and l have to stand on either side and touch it at the same moment." Skratch thought for rather a long time. "Do you mean to tell me I have to fly with this key?" "That’s the general notion," said Lapinette. Skratch thought again. "Surely not fly to the flying saucer?" Lapinette nodded gravely. Skratch flicked lint off his coat, just like he’d seen the Wabbit do on many occasions. "Who flies these crates any more anyway?" he laughed. "The Wabbit, probably," said Puma. "Well, talking about the Wabbit," said Skratch, "where is he?" "He’s co-ordinating," said Lapinette, "so he’ll find his own way." "What’s his crate of choice?" asked Skratch. "A hot air balloon," replied Lapinette. "He's trying to get a rise out of me," said Skratch.
Wednesday, July 03, 2013
[cling film: plastic or food wrap (US)]
Tuesday, July 02, 2013
The gang raced across the city in an old army truck, with Lapinette at the wheel. Skratch was wondering where Lapinette had learned navigation and decided it was something to do with the Wabbit. In that he was quite mistaken, because Lapinette had trained with the Goito Mechanised Brigade and sported several badges of Merit. While Skratch looked around fruitlessly for a safety belt, Lapinette hummed a tune and crashed gears, wearing a set expression that Skratch found alarming. "What’s that tune?" said Skratch, cheerfully. "Red Barchetta*," growled Puma. Skratch made a vibrating sound reserved entirely for cats and quickly changed the subject. "What exactly are we doing?" Skratch braced himself between the floor and the roof. Lapinette gunned the throttle, gritted her teeth and swerved. "Taking the big key to a place of safety." "Where?" asked Puma. "Don’t know," said Lapinette and she span the streeing wheel. "What about the Wabbit?" asked Skratch. Lapinette suddenly struck her paw on the horn and kept it there. The blast shook the windows, then wailed across the rooftops. "What was that for?" asked Skratch." "Signal." said Lapinette.
[*Red Barchetta is a song by Rush, celebrating the two seater sports car, the Barchetta (Little boat)]
Monday, July 01, 2013
"Wabbit to Wabbit Command!" snapped the Wabbit, "and use the quantum key." "Reading you, Commander," said a weak voice. "Ledgerwood!" said the Wabbit. "What are you doing in Communications?" " Budget cuts, Sir," said Ledgerwood meekly. The radio hissed and whined and crackled. The Wabbit was furious and hissed like the radio. "Well I asked for back up, not a screw up." "Budget cuts, Sir," sighed Ledgerwood. "Please convey my astonishment from the field," shouted the Wabbit, "we’re not at a Gala Dinner!" The Wabbit smashed the radio with his paw and switched to another frequency. "Calling Marshall Duetta, Red Spider Battalion.This is a Code 3 alert." The Wabbit heard the silky voice of Duetta. "Commander, initiating Code 3 protocols. What‘s afoot?" "Are you ready to Rock 'n Roll?" said the Wabbit. "Always Commander," said Duetta, "how many of us would you like?" "All of you," said the Wabbit. "Prisoners?" asked Duetta. "Confine them to their vessel." "What vessel?" asked Duetta. The Wabbit grunted. "Look back, nearly on your six o’clock." "A lengthy pause ensued. Through the window the Wabbit could just make out the green craft of the Ice Mice hovering threateningly. The radio burst into life. "It’s a rather fetching colour," said Duetta. "Paint it red!" yelled the Wabbit.