13. Ghost Bunny and Extra Ordnance

Ghost Bunny was in a hurry. "One hundred boxes to be transported to the surface." "Be careful with them," said the Wabbit. "The ordnance can be unpredictable." Another crate sped up the hoist. "Who are you expecting?" asked Ghost Bunny, "Is it Genghis Khan?" "Oh, nothing so romantic," said the Wabbit. Ghost Bunny laughed. Her laughs were wails but then her voice dropped. "We spotted a fracking spy amongst the crates." "Did you label the crates like I said?" asked the Wabbit. "Yes, as magic tricks," replied Ghost Bunny. "Nearly capture the spy then let him escape," said the Wabbit. Lapinette chimed in. "The Frackers will think bunnies came out of a hat for Easter." Ghost Bunny wailed long and hard. "A hat trick!" She shot the Wabbit a withering look. "What's in the crates?" The Wabbit snickered. "Mechanical bunnies." "They're completely terrifying," said Lapinette. "Everyone runs away," said the Wabbit. "That's the theory anyway," said Lapinette. Ghost Bunny fluttered around. "Why don't you let me haunt the frackers and make them run away?" "They already haunt themselves," shrugged Lapinette. The Wabbit explained the plan. "On shore, our mechanical bunnies will chew their cables and bite their ankles," Lapinette continued. "On the coast, Jenny will storm the frackers with the Wabbit's Cailleach," Ghost Bunny was disappointed. "Then why do you need me?" "I have a special job for you," smiled the Wabbit. "I'm hoping they'll see right through you."

12. The Wabbit and the Aqua Route.

The Wabbit and Lapinette went ahead. "I don't think the dump is compromised." Lapinette's whisper sounded like thunder. "The Wabbit drew an automatic and waved it. "Take no chances." The world of Wablantis was well defended but far from impregnable. Outside, the ocean lapped against whatever it was that held things together. A daemon accompanied them through azure depths. It made a threshing noise like a paddle steamer and every so often it let out a plaintive cry that set the Wabbit's 28 teeth on edge. Lapinette's eyes were everywhere. "How do we get past the sentinel?" The Wabbit lifted his automatic and breathed down the barrel. The gun shrieked and pulsed. A voice answered from the end of the passage. "Who goes there?" The voice was a haunt and the haunt was a voice. The Wabbit nudged Lapinette and Lapinette smiled. "I'm Trixie Beaujolais." "There is yet another," wailed the voice. "Tell me what other goes there?" "It's the Wabbit, for goodness sake," sighed the Wabbit. The passageway groaned. "Your code name?" screeched the voice. The Wabbit groaned and muttered inaudibly. "Salad." "Speak up," wailed the voice. "Salad McSandwich!" shouted the Wabbit. Lapinette shook with laughter. "The sentinel is Ghost Bunny?" The Wabbit scowled. "She said she wanted work."

11. The Wabbit and the Hidden Cavern

"There's the cavern," said the Wabbit. "And there's the daemons," replied Captain Jenny. She span the wheel. Engines whined. The Lepus moved sideways. "I'm going in, signal or not." "Broadside manoeuvre," observed the Wabbit. "This is a ferry," said Jenny, "not an aircraft carrier." The two daemons advanced on the Lepus, jumping, submerging, then jumping again. Jenny turned to the Wabbit. "The signal?" The Wabbit tried desperately to remember. "It will come,"  "It better come soon," said Jenny. The water threshed as another monster surfaced from beneath the Lepus. "Nessie!" shouted the Wabbit. Nessie roared at the Wabbit. "The daemons have gone a bit deaf, whit wae a' that seismic blasting." Now the Wabbit's memory triggered. "Hoist the Jolly Roger." The flag went up the mast, but there was hardly a breath of wind and it hung as limp as a dish rag. Nessie roared again. The blast shook the pirate flag into life. It fluttered like a star and at once the two daemons dived, turned and surfaced. Spray turned to water sprites who danced around them. "Follow these daemons!" shouted the Wabbit - but he was wasting his breath. An undertow caught the Lepus in a grip of iron and steadily drew her and Nessie deep into the cavern ...  

10. The Wabbit and the Two Daemons

Wablantis was in sight. The Lepus held her position. Lapinette and Susan the Biplane buzzed from ship to shore. Lapinette's voice echoed round the bridge. "The sea frackers moved away as planned." Jenny swayed in her pirate fashion. "Commander, your Cailleach used a lot of power. Now we need supplies. Fuel bunkers are nearly empty." The Wabbit nodded. "Supplies are located in our cavern on the other side of the island."  "Ah," said Jenny, "My charts says there be daemons." The Wabbit shook his head. To convince unwelcome guests, holographic daemons of his invention stalked the coast, wailing intermittently like ships' foghorns. "The daemons are all mine." smiled the Wabbit. Jenny was sceptical. She strode past the Wabbit and took the wheel. "Emergency. Control to wheelhouse." The Lepus shimmied and moved forward like a ghost. Jenny spun the wheel, then spun it back. The Lepus heaved sharply, then slewed sideways to the coast. The Wabbit lurched to the controls. "Our cavern is guarded by two aquatic daemons who will move aside on our signal." "Holograms?" asked Jenny. "No, no," said the Wabbit, "They're quite real." "So what's the signal?" yelled Jenny. The Wabbit rummaged in his fur. "I knew I'd forgotten something ..."

9. Moloch and the Weird Explanation

Even with his seven league boots Moloch couldn't get to Wablantis in time. The ground rippled and erupted into a rash of mounds. Noxious fumes from the offshore fracker filled the air. There was no time to lose. Moloch stepped forward and shouted, 'Denizens!'" Small creatures gathered around him. "Have you brought sago?" they yelled. Moloch did his best to smile benevolently. "It's coming," he said quietly, "The Wabbit is bringing it," A cheer went up. "He will save us!" Moloch checked the time and looked out to sea. "It should be about now," he muttered. All was calm except for a small reddish cloud. Suddenly, lightning painted the horizon and a shape loomed. Electricity arced around the bows of a lowering Lepus and there, looking over the side, was the Wabbit. The Denizens cheered and cheered. The Wabbit waved once. The Denizens grew delirious and hoarse from cheering. Moloch called for calm and the Denizens turned courteously. But when they turned back, the Lepus and the lightning - and indeed, the Wabbit - had all disappeared. Moloch chose not to speak of anti-matter to the Denizens. Instead he became inventive. "That was the Wabbit's Cailleach." He thought fast. "A spirit which he sends in advance to cheer his allies." Moloch paused and shrugged. "Mainly, it's to scare the bejasus out of his enemies." From the corner of his eye, he saw the fracking vessel move away.  "It scares me too."
[Cailleach : Mythological Scottish hag spirit, malevolent or benevolent, a protector of animals.]

8. Wabsworth and the First Sighting

At one time, Wabsworth was an android copy of the Wabbit. Now he had his own stuff and his stuff counted. His calculations were second to none, and commissioning the Alien Pilot for this mission was a calculated risk. His radio crackled. "Thish is Alien Pilot," said a stern voice," "Are you resheiving?" "Clear as crystal," answered Wabsworth, "Can you see anything?" "I shee the fracker's ship," said the Pilot. Wabsworth ducked as the plane cut close across his head and he shouted in his radio. "What's the fracker fracking?" The Alien Pilot's hatred for frackers made him vexed and his voice was a snarl. "He's fracking the earth's crust. Do you want me to shend him a preshent?" The engine's roar drowned Wabsworth's voice. He signalled wildly. "Belay that, Pilot." His circuits whirred momentarily, "Just hail him." The plane circled. Wabsworth listened. "Come in, you fracker or you will be sho shorry." There was no response and Wabsworth could see little movement on the vessel. He lifted his radio and hissed. "Pilot, there's no one on the bridge." Aircraft machine gun fire embroidered the shape of a rabbit across the vessel's superstructure. The plane wheeled and stood on a wingtip. The Pilot looked down at the ship. Now its deck had more movements than a clock shop. Wabsworth signalled to the plane. His radio crackled. Alien Pilot's voice was smug. "Think they got the message?" "They're writing back now," snorted Wabsworth.

7. The Wabbit and the Big Ice Cubes

The Wabbit was stuck. Giant blocks of ice gripped the Lepus like a vice. "The weather forecast said not to worry," grumbled the Wabbit. Jenny's radio crackled. "Engines," said Skratch. "She'll no take much more, Skipper." "Copy that," muttered Jenny.  She watched the Wabbit as he rummaged in his fur. The ice groaned like a three day hangover but its grip increased. The Wabbit pulled something from his fur and then pulled again. "That looks like a stick," said Jenny. "It's more of a pole," muttered the Wabbit and he flicked it with the tip of his paw. The pole suddenly extended and jabbed and stuck in an ice floe. Jenny rocked back and forth. "You're going to push the ice away?" The Wabbit shook his head. "It's going to push us." The pole began to get hot and at the sharp end, an oxy acetylene flame cast an uneasy glow across the surface. Ice began to melt on the sides of the floes. They slipped and slithered like an ice cube in a glass of whisky. "Where did you get such a stick?" asked Jenny. "In a chandlers' market," said the Wabbit. The pole grew unbearably hot and the Wabbit moved it from paw to paw, occasionally emitting apologetic yelps. Shards of ice broke away from the floe and slushed against the hull. The floe slipped astern and the Wabbit nodded. "Full ahead," said Jenny into her radio. The Lepus burst forward. "Someone doesn't want us to get to Wablantis," smiled Jenny, "We just got the cold shoulder."

6. Lapinette in the Forgotten Zone

Leaving the Lepus far behind, Lapinette and Susan the Biplane scouted the Forgotten Zone. They flew low. The narrow channel was indeed lined with dinosaurs as anticipated, but it was the only way across the Zone and nothing could be done. From the ground, Lapinette heard a roaring chorus of disapproval. "What's all that noise?" "It's supposed to be quiet." "I seldom heard such a din." "I'm never coming here again." A dinosaur grabbed Susan's under carriage and tried to chew. Susan shook hard. "There's another one," said Lapinette. She hung out the cockpit and levelled her automatic. "Don't shoot," cried a creature. "I'm a vegetarian." Susan wrestled her undercarriage from the dinosaur's teeth and followed the channel as it wound through dense foliage. All that could be seen were cantankerous creatures, who complained bitterly about anything and everything. With a sudden rustling, the sharp toothed head of a plesiosaur emerged from the trees and snapped close to Lapinette's head. "You've no forgotten puir wee Nessie have ye?" Lapinette was taken aback and so was Susan. "Nessie, what are you doing here?" "I'm having a wee bit holiday," said Nessie, "but the weather's been as dull as a dishwasher." Lapinette had no time for corrections. "Nessie, the Wabbit needs to get the Lepus across the Zone." "What's keepin' him?" asked Nessie. "Heavy weather," shrugged Lapinette.
[One of Nessie's previous appearances.]

5. The Wabbit and the Gates of Sheila

The first obstacle appeared from the blue. One second they were ploughing a steady course, the next they faced a gateway of vast proportions. The gates had more angles than a geometry set, all of them razor sharp and moving like pincers. Jenny shouted for full astern but nothing happened. The Lepus tossed in the foam as the gates moved relentlessly inwards. "Wabbit?" said Captain Jenny. "The Gates of Sheila," breathed the Wabbit. "I only read about them in books." Jenny looked over the side. "How deep are they?" The Wabbit thought for a second. "Deep as the sea," he said nonchalantly. "We'll be crushed," said Jenny. The Wabbit shook his head and signalled the engine room. "Full ahead." The Lepus shot straight at the gates. Bow scraped metal with a jagged rasp. Just as the Lepus threatened to dash itself to bits, the Wabbit took a control module from his fur and moved a lever. The Lepus vanished. Jenny looked down. She seemed to be hovering over threshing water. "I thought you said that didn't change the Lepus." she yelled, "we're still here." The Wabbit moved the lever vertically. Now the gates vanished too. Jenny tasted bronzed metal as they floated on. The Wabbit moved the lever again. The Lepus reappeared. "Don't look back," said the Wabbit. Engines strained as serpent coils of seaweed pulled at the keel. Suddenly the gates crashed shut and the Lepus leapt forward. "We're gatecrashers!" smiled the Wabbit.

4. The Wabbit and the Forgotten Zone

Jenny's voice was soft. "Who are you saluting, Commander?" She could see the Wabbit's reflection and thought he looked a little troubled. "I'm saluting the sea," said the Wabbit. He was thinking of the difficulties of the voyage. He knew there was going to be trouble and had some sense he had forgotten something. But the more he racked his brain, the foggier things became. The Lepus ploughed a steady course north. Her engine throbbed steadily. "Is there any way round the Forgotten Zone?" said the Wabbit. "Not that I can remember," replied Jenny. The Wabbit searched in his fur for the set of lucky charms he'd picked up in a market. Captain Jenny waved her hook. "There's nothing in the Zone that we can't handle." In his mind's eye the Wabbit saw a narrow and unpleasant channel that twisted through a dense jungle of bad tempered dinosaurs. Somewhere between a river and a canal, its torpid water stank of millions of years of rotting vegetables. Slimy banks crawled with the deadly Pirahnaprawn, whose taste in prey was as bad as their breath. The Wabbit sniffed. Jenny thought she's better speak. "I don't like the three headed bats." The Wabbit shuddered. "I never heard of the three headed bats." "Sorry," said Jenny, "I meant to say three headed hats." The Wabbit laughed for quite a long time. "What kind of hats?" "Top hats," said Jenny.

3. The Wabbit and the Stealthicator

"Take your pick," said the Wabbit. "There's only one box," replied Captain Jenny. The Wabbit leaned out of the jeep. "Makes life easier," he chortled. He gunned the throttle and spun his wheels. The box quivered like jello and jumped up and down. Lapinette pointed at the box. "The Wabbit says it's completely safe." The box suddenly rattled like a crate of beer. The sentries stiffened. "Inside," said the Wabbit, "are all the bits we need to build a Stealthicator." Lapinette interrupted cheerfully. "The Wabbit says he found all the components in a dumpster outside the Space Agency." Jenny eyed the box cautiously. "What exactly does the Stealthicator do?"  The Wabbit grinned ear to ear. "It paints the background of any object onto its front! Psst, the object vanishes." "The Wabbit says it's foolproof," said Lapinette. Jenny pursed her lips and swayed in a pirate fashion. "What if the onlooker runs round the object?" The background changes the sides to satisfy the viewer," laughed the Wabbit. Lapinette was delighted. "The Wabbit says the Stealthicator can also paint the under onto the top." Jenny nodded. "That's all very well," she said, "but what if the viewer bumps into the object?" "The object is still there, I can't do everything," said the Wabbit.

2. The Wabbit and the Ghost Flag

Captain Jenny paused outside her quarters and took the Wabbit aside. "You got my message?" The Wabbit nodded. They stood silently for a long time. The Wabbit broke the silence. "How was the refit?" Jenny nodded too. "We have the extra space you asked for." The Wabbit took his paw out of his fur and pointed. "Have the cargo deck ready for the consignment arriving 0.00 Zulu Time." "I tripled the sentries." said Jenny. The Wabbit's feet thumped lightly. "I wasn't expecting to return to Wablantis. Things aren't readily ready." Jenny smiled grimly. "No-one readier than you." The Wabbit shook his head. "I'm reluctantly ready." Jenny touched the Wabbit's paw. "Wablantis needs help." The Wabbit's squinted smile was a question. "Sea Frackers?" Jenny sighed. "They landed using cloaking technology." "Tricky Frackers," groaned the Wabbit. "Then they started fracking around the coast," continued Jenny. The Wabbit's smile failed miserably. "Maybe there's a chance they'll frack themselves up." At that thought, the Wabbit suddenly brightened. "I developed my wearable technology. It will make the Lepus disappear." Jenny laughed a long pirate laugh. "Except for the Jolly Roger," continued the Wabbit. "I couldn't do the flag." "Ahaar, a ghost flag," drawled Jenny. "I like the way they flutters."

1. The Wabbit and Jenny's Return

"Here she comes now!" Lapinette sounded excited. The sun dropped fast below the horizon - but had time to give a lick of pink paint to the bridge of the Lepus. Jenny's nautical voice crackled over Lapinette's radio. "Yo MacHo, rabbits, this is the Lepus, copy?" From further down the seafront, the Wabbit heard a faint cheer and he chortled. "Jenny has her admirers." Lapinette's tone was crystal. "Copy m/v Lepus, permission to berth." The Lepus slowed engines and swung to starboard. Lapinette noticed the Wabbit's critical eye as he stared at the manoeuvre. "Jenny can park the Lepus in a fish tank," she murmured. "A ship does not park, it docks," scowled the Wabbit. Lapinette grinned and lifted her radio. "Commander Wabbit salutes the ensign. He says you can park over there." The radio hissed and popped with Jenny's pirate laughter. "We be internationally awash with parking tickets." A foghorn blast sent seagulls spiralling as the Lepus berthed with barely a splash. The Wabbit turned to Lapinette. "Have you any idea what all this is about?" Lapinette's ears swayed. "There's nothing hush hush." "How would you know?" asked the Wabbit "I have hush hush clearance," said Lapinette. The radio crackled. "Grog in my quarters in half an hour, copy?" The Wabbit took the radio. "Loud and clear! Out."

The Wabbit at the Adventure Caffè

The Wabbit and his team waited for service at the Fiat Caffè. But it was slow. "Where are our opposites?" asked Lapinette. "They'll be along in a minute," said the Wabbit. "What are they doing?" said Wabsworth. "Shopping at Lingotto," said Skratch. "Great," said Lapinette. "We can move to another caffè." Wabsworth wrinkled his nose. "Do we have time?" Lapinette laughed and got up. "Where aperitivi are concerned there's always time." Both the Wabbit and Wabsworth rose with her. "Is no-one going to ask the question?" pleaded Skratch in a disappointed tone. "I will," said the Wabbit. "What kind of adventure did we just have?" Skratch began to head in the direction of Eataly, his favourite place for lunch. "It was time travel. Reshuffled time provided new spatialities, achieved by moving the present." Lapinette nodded wisely. "It was Quantum's lattice drive that moved our present." The Wabbit sniffed. He could only think of a salad sandwich and in his mind he watched one making itself. His tummy rumbled. "Temporal relocation makes me hungry." "I think we were in hypertime," continued Lapinette. "We were a four dimensional hypersurface in five dimensional space." Now the Wabbit's rumbling was deafening. So when Wabsworth muttered about space-time, velocity and action, the Wabbit slapped him on the back. "I need an objective sandwich. This instant."

11. Lapinette and the Five Kabooms

The Lapinettes and Puma took off when they heard the explosion. Puma was first as the blast took the bar door from its hinges. The sound died away. Then there was a pause. Debris settled on the paving. "That's not the Wabbit's usual," muttered Lapinette. She grabbed her opposite by the shoulder and hauled her from the dock. But there was more than one explosion. A series of detonations made their way along the quays and painted the waterfront red. As if delayed, the Fives came swiftly hurtling from the crimson glow. They crumpled as they landed and lay inert. Lapinette stepped over the blue one and prodded it roughly with her snazer. "We know you're hired the Agents of Rabit," she hissed. She prodded it again but there was no response. The other Lapinette prodded him too. "Talk!" There wasn't even a groan. Lapinette shrugged. "His number's up." "Well, I don't trust them," said the other Lapinette, "they could be doing a number on us." Their ears quivered as five more explosions rent the night air. "Fireworks?" speculated Lapinette's opposite. Lapinette shook her head. "The Wabbits are cleaning up." "How tidy of them," said her opposite. Puma appeared to sniff round the debris. "Let's get out of here before the Mayor arrives." "Puma, what's the Mayor going to do?" laughed  Lapinette, "marry us?"

10. The Wabbit and the Red Button

Inside the bar, the Wabbit and Wabsy his opposite carefully prepared for the coup de grâce, "We have to stay on the retro side of things," said the Wabbit. His helping hand snicked forward as he licked cable ends and made connections. "Things don't change much," smiled Wabsy. They heard a snickering from the roof. Wabsy gestured. "Our friends are here." The Wabbit gave a wry smile. "The Fifth Force takes many forms." He snapped his fingers and the metallic hand made short work of the cable connections. "Ooh," he said, "I'm getting attached to this." "Let me get this straight," said Wabsy suddenly. "The Agents of Rabit are the Fifth Force." The Wabbit shook his head. "The Fifth Force is using the Agents and paying highly for the privilege." Wabsy looked nonplussed. The Wabbit continued. "As numbers, the Fifth Force would rule the universe. We would all have to be fives." Wabsy frowned. "I'm not having that. I'm one and I'm proud." The Wabbit made a last adjustment to the detonator and murmured. "Nothing would be valid unless it was five."  "Even time?" asked Wabsy. "Especially time," answered the Wabbit, "It will be 5 o'clock for ever." Ten feet beat a tattoo on the bar roof. Wabsy shuddered. "Do we have enough explosive?" The Wabbit connected the final cable with a metallic snickety click. "You can never really have enough ..."

9. Lapinette and the Hot Tin Roof

As night fell, a warm breeze shifted uneasily through cold air. The Lapinettes' eyes shifted with it and they murmured together. "Something shifty this way comes." Their pursuit of the Fives had proved unsuccessful but Puma advised waiting. He growled softly. "I always wait. I give things space to come to me." Lapinette's opposite glanced in her make up mirror, "Agents of Rabit," she whispered. "Five of them," added Puma. His purr was barely audible but it hung like the sound of a distant motorboat. Lapinette slowly tilted her snazer gun up and down. From behind the bar came a rhythmic snickering like a school class chanting multiplication. "Five time one is five. Five times five is five." Pointed ears swayed in unison above the bar but they couldn't hear what Lapinette could hear. It was Morse code tapped out on a hot tin roof. Lapinette whisper was urgent. "Wabsworth says, keep 'em busy." Puma wheeled like lighting and sprang forward, snarling a question. "What's five to the power of zero?" The Agents flinched. "Answer!" snarled Puma. Red beams shone from his eyes and they played across the Agents like laser dots. An Agent blinked. "Nothing," he shrugged. Puma screeched. "That's what you are - nothing!" The Lapinettes laughed and jeered. "Nothing between the ears!" They merrily thumped their legs and the racket covered another sound. A sound from inside the bar ....
[Puma is a trickster. As he well knows, anything to the power of zero is in fact, one.]

8. The Wabbit and the Second Unit

The Wabbit's second unit didn't hesitate and the Six never saw it coming until it was too late. Tipsy vaulted the fence and kicked a series of explosives into the air. "Go Panico!" she yelled. Panico trembled in his boots but he was much more scared of Tipsy than any number. He fisted the projectiles and one by one they arced across the beach huts. A series of detonations shook the ground. The Six began to topple. "Take that for your trouble," shouted Panico. For a moment the Six hauled himself up. "I'll get you for this!" he screamed, "You can't do without Six." Wabsworth and Wabsword touched paws in a high five. The flash could be seen for kilometres. Sheltering behind the huts, the two Wabbits heard the beat of dragon's wings and they looked up as Terni swooped along the beach. An explosive dropped like a depth charge. Another flash lit the beach. The Six keeled over and his moans floated across the sand. "Is this the end of Six?" Wabsworth shook his head just like the Wabbit and then he smiled. "You could have been a contender, Sixter." Wabsword grinned and called out to Tipsy. "Take him in, book him and lock him up." "On what charge?" whimpered the Six. "Unnatural acts," shouted Tipsy.

7. The Wabbit and the Higher Force

The Wabbit called his opposite Wabsy on the radio; he had a funny feeling things weren't right. "Wabsy, have you got a Six?" Radio feedback moaned and whined. "Check your six," agreed Wabsy. The Wabbits grimaced and did what rabbits did best. They froze. They did not look round. They said not a word. The Six towered over them as the Wabbit tapped an emergency Morse message for Wabsworth's team further down the beach. .-- .  .... .- ...- .  .-  --. .. .- -. -  ... .. -..- Dots and dashes confirmed they were on their way. The Six spoke suddenly with a haunting tone. "I am the next number and I have come. I am the Sixth Force." Without turning, the Wabbit snapped. "What about the Fives?" The Six's ghastly laugh curled like smoke around the beach huts. "The Fives are as fake as talk show hosts." "No fives?" said Wabsy. "Just one two three four six," moaned the Six. "Then what about seven?" demanded the Wabbit. "Never heard of it," said Six. "And if there was a seven it would be deficient. I'm six. I'm perfect. I'm a cosmological constant." The Wabbit scowled and snarled. "You're past your prime." "How dare you!" said the Six. The Wabbit's super hearing indicated that Wabsworth's team was close - so he decided to annoy the Six some more. "You're just six of one and half a dozen of the other." The Six reared in fury and shouted. "Your days are numbered!"
[.-- .  .... .- ...- .  .-  --. .. .- -. -  ... .. -..- : Morse.  "We have a giant Six"]

6. The Wabbits and the Fifth Force

The Wabbit and his opposite watched the sea because Wabsworth advised the Fifth Force would arrive that way. Waves crashed relentlessly as the tide washed the beach. "The Mediterranean doesn't have tides," said the Wabbit. "The tides are too small to mention," said the other. "Just a few feet," complained the Wabbit as water soaked his fur. "Maybe there's a wind," said the other. But there wasn't a breath of wind. Suddenly a breaker rose in the air and hung for a moment. "It's a clean up set," grinned the Wabbit but his humour didn't last long. A massive Five reared from the breaker. Then another. Then another until there were five Fives. The Wabbit's radio crackled and he looked up. The chattering of a helichopper joined the crashing of the breakers. Water and sand lashed across the Fives and made a curious rasping sound as one by one they vanished and reappeared like flashing Christmas lights. The radio crackled with the voices of two Lapinettes. Together were crystal. "We have visual, stand by." Water rose around the Wabbits' feet. The Wabbit spoke urgently into the radio. "We'll be floating by if we stand here much longer." "Copy that." said the Lapinettes. "But maintain your positions. The Fives have no interest in you." The Fives rose and dropped as the tide became stronger. Sea washed around the Wabbits' waists as they held on - until in an instant, the Fives became dark and merged with the waves. The helichopper drew closer and the noise was deafening. Four eyes stared down from the cabin. "Helichoppers," murmured the Wabbit. "They make so much din, the earth pushes them away." "That's how they stay up," said the other.
[Clean up set: Surfer slang. Larger than average waves break the surfer line up
Background photograph credit: Camilla Galli da Bino.

5. Skratch, Puma and the Cats' Dinner

Puma growled when he heard the story. "I don't like the sound of this time duplication business, er ... Skratch." He looked from side to side. "Which one of you is which?" I'm Skratch," said Skratch." "We both are," said the other Skratch. Puma scowled. "I've read about this in books." "What kind of books?" asked the Skratches, both at the same time. "Hard back theoretical books with equations," replied Puma. His growl was suspicious and he continued at length. "I am a materialist Puma. Strictly speaking, you are both theoretical and don't exist." Skratch purred long and loud. "My theoretical stomach is quite hungry." "So is mine," said the other Skratch. Puma frowned. The Commander Wabsworths say there's plenty of fish at our destination." "Fried?" asked Skratch. "Grilled?" asked the other Skratch. Puma was getting the hang of things. "Look here, fellow felines. Terni the Dragon is on his way to pick us all up. He won't be long." The stomachs of both Skratches groaned in unison. "In the interim," said Puma, "there's a trattoria round the corner, famous for seafood risotto." "Who's paying?" asked both Skratches anxiously. Puma roared so loudly that windows rattled. "No need for cash, you're with me. You can have what you like." "Are you going to frighten the waiters?" asked the Skratches, "Certainly not," said Puma, "I have meal vouchers."

4. Wabsworth gathers the Forces

The Wabbit's android doubles seem to be having fun in their own company. Despite the data transfer, Wabsword hadn't quite caught up. Wabsworth said it was only a matter of time. Wabsword nodded and chortled. "No time like the present." He looked along the coastline and Wabsworth followed his gaze. "I think the Fifth Force will come from the sea." They considered the matter with much muttering but Tipsy suddenly leaped in the air. "Panico! Terni!" Panico hurtled along the beach with a clenched a fist over his mouth. "We're all going to die!" "Not before our date," yelled Tipsy. Panico dropped his fist and smiled. "Are we going to the movies? They won't let us in."  Wabsword was confused. "Who's Panico? And what's that dragon? He looks like a cabbage." Terni batted his cabbage wings and the resulting wind swept sand along the beach. "I didn't fall off a truck, you know." Wabsworth spoke into his radio. "Wabsworth. Read?" The radio crackled viciously and the Wabbit spoke. "Roger that. What's your 20?" "On the waterfront," responded Wabsworth. "Everyone there?" asked the Wabbit. "Negative," answered Wabsworth. "Waiting for the two Skratches and Puma." The radio burped and whistled. "Stand by," Panico struck the sand-filled sugar bags and yelled anxiously. "They won't be on time." Terni wheeled in the sky. "I'll pick them up." The radio crackled. "Obtain," said the Wabbit, "but not by the fur."

3. The Wabbit and the Christmas Five

Confident that the Wabsworths had set preparations in full vigour, the Wabbit and Lapinette hopped through the Christmas market. To ensure no suspicions were aroused, their opposites followed at a discreet distance. "No word of the Fifth Force?" asked Lapinette. The Wabbit smiled. "A bunch of Fives were spotted near Piazza Navona, but they were only drunken soccer hooligans." "What about the Agents of Rabit?" said Lapinette. The Wabbit vaguely shook his head. "Not a dicky bird."  Lapinette grinned. "Who's Dicky Bird?" It was the Wabbit's turn to laugh. "That's my nickname for our agent, Major Spitlove." They strolled rather than hopped and lingered at the market stalls, looking at trinkets and trying on hats. "I've seen better stuff," said the Wabbit, "Same every year," said Lapinette. "You say that every year," smiled the Wabbit. Lapinette's ears suddenly twitched and swivelled. "Did you hear a five?" The Wabbit was about to say that was synesthesia, but thought better of it when he felt a five staring at his back. He turned but saw nothing. "I really don't know what I'm looking for. What does the Fifth Force look like?" Lapinette had attended a weekend school on categorical quantum mechanics in Trieste. "If we could see it, it might look like a bunch of dark photons," she nodded. "Well I think it should lighten up," said the Wabbit.
[Bunch of fives: A fist used in a fight.    Not a dicky bird (Cockney rhyming slang.):  Not a word] 

2. Wabsworth and the Secret Bunker

Despite his android status, Wabsword had a thing about Tipsy - and the more she appeared to misbehave the more he liked it. On the other paw, Wabsworth knew exactly what Tipsy was doing. So he watched as Tipsy presented a snazer gun to Wabsword. "Shtate of the art fully automatic shlime firing weapon. Guaranteed to shtop an enemy in itsh track and keep 'em there." "How long for?" enquired Wabsword. "Long enough to shtomp on 'em." slurred Tipsy. "I don't know this place," said Wabsword, looking around. "It's after your time," smiled Wabsworth. Wabsword gazed at the sign on the door. "It doesn't look very secret." "No-one dares enter," shrugged Wabsworth. "No-one?" asked Wabsword. Wabsworth grimaced. "Only one. Now he's inhospitably housed in the Sombrero Galaxy." Wabsword gulped and looked at Tipsy. "Reassure me these snazers are completely analogue." "Completely," smiled Tipsy, "nothing digital whatshoever." She flicked a switch and the weapon whined into life. "Apart from the metal casing itsh completely organic. Wanna try?" She stroked the trigger with affection. "I'll take your word for it," grinned Wabsword. Wabsworth drew closer. "No digital communications, everything must be old technology." "What about the radio?" asked Tipsy. "Two tin cans and a bit of string?" suggested Wabsword. They all laughed for a while. "But what about us?" asked Wabsword suddenly. Wabsworth clicked and spoke robotically. "Activating cloaking concealment." 

1. The Wabbit and Command Structure

Wabsworth decided that the two androids must have different names and his opposite agreed. Then Wabsworth sank a paw deep in his fur and shrugged. "How's the new data, Wabsword?"  His opposite shrugged too. "I'm assimilating it." Wabsword started to laugh and found it hard to stop. Wabsworth smiled. "I fear you have a hysterical response to new data." "All these old adventures of yours are most amusing," giggled Wabsword. In the background, Lapinette's personal guard made preparations. Mitzy pirouetted, swung an automatic round her paw, and then slid it swiftly beneath her frock. Fitzy stamped and shouted "Sheep's Shiblets!" Tipsy suddenly fired her automatic and a tracer bullet ricocheted around the depot. The bullet took a curious trajectory around the Wabbit, between the Wabsworths and finally smashed an old and valuable window. Wabsword looked with mock horror. "Are they always like this?" "They're rather quiet for now," chuckled Wabsworth. Fitzy gestured from the truck. "Where shall we put the C-4 explosives Commander?" The Wabbit indicated she should respect the new command structure and waved a paw towards the Wabsworths. Fitzy wheeled to face them. "Where shall we store the C-4, Commanders?" "Under your seats," commanded Wabsword. Fitzy's eyes sparkled. "Right away sir!" Wabsworth concealed his astonishment. "You sound a bit like the Wabbit." Wabsword looked doubtful. "Oh no," he said. "Can anything be done?" "We'll work on it," grinned Wabsworth.

The Wabbits at the Adventure Caffè

The Adventure Caffè was more crowded than usual but Lapinette had a plan. "We have two Commanders and that's one too many." The Wabbit grinned. "What's your recommendation?" Lapinette pointed at the Wabsworths. "Command should temporarily rest with our androids." Wabsworth and his opposite knew this was coming. Their paws touched. Electricity flashed as data exchanged. They both smiled at the same time. "We agree," said the Wabsworths. "Oh I'm so glad that's settled," said the Wabbit. "So now we can ask the question," said the Wabsworths together. The atmosphere relaxed. "Skratch," asked Lapinette, "what was that for a sort of adventure?" "It's not finished yet," said Skratch. He glared at his opposite. "You must surely know that it was a sequential nested narrative." "Certainly not," replied his opposite. "That's narratological flim flam." Lapinette leaned forward. "Our representation of time and space is an enunciation that mediates between codec textuality and visual concretions." Both Skratches fell silent. The Wabbit winked at his opposite and his opposite winked back. Then they all laughed. "Listen up," said the Wabsworths. "We have reports of a manifestation of the Fifth Force in Rome." "I'll round up my personal guard," said Lapinette. The other Lapinette rolled her eyes. "My personal guard, you mean."

9. The Wabbit's brush with the Past

Quantum's clock announced the time and they disembarked. But they had company. Their other selves hopped from Motor Unit One and no-one looked pleased. Except for the other Skratch, who purred and waved and made a general fuss. Skratch thought it unwise to wave back. His claws extended, his fur bristled. From deep in his throat a growl emerged. Mist swirled around Motor Unit One. "State your business, imposters." "You're delayed," said the Wabbit. He activated his mechanical hand and gave a carefree wave. "Crew of Motor Unit One. This is the day before yesterday, so please try to catch up." Lapinette's voice was an urgent whisper. "Don't touch them." "That's an awful frock," said the other Lapinette suddenly. The Wabbit flinched. Wabsworth stepped back. Lapinette stroked her edged weapon - enough to draw blood - and then she hissed. "Your frock has seen better days." "Mine's original," snapped the other Lapinette. A stare off lasted some time. "Motor Unit One, you have to go back," announced Wabsworth suddenly. His opposite number nodded. "He's right. We're entangled, Commander." "So why don't they go back?" came their Commander's reply. Motor Unit One's klaxon blasted. Mist rose from his wheels. "This is the work of the Fifth Force." "We'll join forces and work together," suggested the Wabbit. "Then who's in charge?" asked Skratch. "Me," said both Wabbits ...

8. The Wabbit and Schrödinger's Cat

Leaving only a toasty glow and a shower of second hand heating elements, Quantum the Train shook free of the bubble, The Wabbit stared into space. Lapinette looked the other way. "There's Motor Unit One!" Everyone swivelled. "Come in Motor Unit One." signalled Quantum. "Do not enter the bubble." He tried again. "This is an all galaxy health and safety emergency. Stay away from the bubble." No communication reached him. He blew his klaxon as a last resort and saw the other Wabbit briefly glance up - but Motor Unit One continued until it disappeared deep in the folds of the spin foam oasis. "He's well delayed now," said the Wabbit through his teeth. Quantum spat out an emergency beacon. They watched it whirl and flash five times before it exploded. "The Fifth Force," growled Wabsworth. "We can't abandon Motor Unit One," said Lapinette. "Nor our other selves," purred Skratch. Wabsworth shrugged. "Don't worry. Motor Unit One will do exactly the same as we did." "In theory, we'll all be along very shortly," smiled the Wabbit. "We'll be beside ourselves," meaowed Skratch frantically. "We'll occupy the same place at the same time or my name's not Schrödinger." "Skratch, your name isn't Schrödinger," said Lapinette. Skratch hissed and shook his head. "I was thinking of changing it ..."

7. The Wabbit and the Quick Fix

The Wabbit slid his heater into place. Lapinette and Wabsworth did likewise with theirs and the ice began to melt - but it was slow. Quantum seemed to be in the grip of what Lapinette called a space bubble. She reckoned it was something to do with Wabbit's new lattice drive but thought better of mentioning it. "This appears to be a by product of my Lattice Drive," muttered the Wabbit. "Good thinking," smiled Lapinette. "We're in a lateral bubble," announced the Wabbit. "Good thing you went to that night class," said Lapinette. The Wabbit's night class had proved most instructive in tampering with the laws of physics. But although it had taken the Wabbit a long way on theory, it lagged considerably on practice. This he was forced to develop on his own. "One rabbit in a shed can only do so much," sighed the Wabbit.  He thought it over. "I think we're surrounded by an oasis in the space-time continuum. We're in a mirage." Lapinette's paw drew an icy diagram on the metalwork. "A spinfoam oasis? A little short of palm trees for my liking." They shook as Quantum's lattice drive juddered into life. A shard of ice fell across Quantum's nose and dribbled moisture along his paintwork. Wabsworth waved a soggy paw. "I'm convinced our predicament is caused by the Fifth Force, Commander." "At least the heaters are working," grinned the Wabbit.

The Wabbit's Mid-Adventure Caffè

In the dining car it was numbingly cold. The carriage groaned with the weight of ice and so did the Wabbit. "I'm supposed to save Earth and now I'm late." "Better than too late," snapped Lapinette. Skratch the Cat loped off to assess supplies. "How are things?" inquired the Wabbit. A long and mournful meaow travelled the length of the carriage and back. "There's plenty of Irn Bru. Also a half eaten salad sandwich." Lapinette shivered and made a face. "Is there anything stronger to drink?" Skratch grunted. "An old bottle of cream sherry punch that nobody ever opened." The Wabbit wondered what a mixture of sherry and Irn Bru might taste like. He shook his head. "Save it in case we have visitors." "Do we expect visitors?" frowned Lapinette. Quantum's PA system crackled. "I diverted lattice drive to power the heating, but we're running out of celery crystals." "Skratch!" called the Wabbit. "In Engine Room One there's an old wood stove I got in a market. See if you can get it going." "What do I use for fuel?" asked Skratch. "Anything you can find," shivered Lapinette. The dining car shuddered as ice tore at metal and glass. The Wabbit had an idea. "Quantum's old motor unit is still mothballed in Engine Room Two." "I'm on it Commander," said Quantum. This time, noise and vibration was welcome. Quantum's wheels started to turn. A welcome dusty heat issued from vents. Skratch made a sudden meaow and they all looked round. "I found a crate of prosecco!"

6. The Wabbit and the Home Landing

It was ice cold in Turin and things looked at a standstill. "Heating to manual," shivered Lapinette. Quantum laughed."This is not Flight QTT2 from Glasgow." He coasted over the empty tracks. "Looking for a landing place?" joked the Wabbit. "Just looking around," said Quantum. He hovered over Lingotto and everyone looked down. "It's a little too quiet for my liking," said Wabsworth. Skratch felt his fur prickle and he resisted the urge to scratch. "Something's not right." The Wabbit glanced up as Susan the Biplane criss-crossed the sky. "It's the wrong day," he sighed, "we're due the day before yesterday." Wabsworth checked Quantum's instrumentation. "No, we're right on time." Quantum's voice boomed over the speakers. "I'm always on time, I have no concept of late." Lapinette muttered about the space time continuum. "It's the city that's late." Skratch focused on the tracks and saw movement that was barely perceptible. "Things are moving but very slowly." The Wabbit drew a breath. Then he yelled. "Engage Lattice Drive. Let's go!" "Where, when?" asked Quantum. "Anywhere not here. Any time but this one," shouted the Wabbit. Quantum shuddered into Lattice Drive but nothing seemed to happen. "Quantum, we didn't move," shouted the Wabbit. "Yes we did move," said Lapinette. Wabsworth pointed outside. "The whole thing's fake. And it travelled with us."

5. The Wabbit hitch-hikes the Galaxy

The Wabbit felt in his fur for his walkie talkie - but in his frantic tumble down the slope it had gone. "Nothing else for it," he murmured as he energised his bionic hand. The thumb began to swell up and the Wabbit waved it in the general direction of the universe. With a sudden crack, a multi-coloured portal swirled into view and through it proceeded a caravan train composed entirely of vessels of unknown origin. Lapinette nudged the Wabbit. "I'm not certain I want a lift from one of those things." "Hang on," said the Wabbit. He fiddled with the thumb, stared into the portal and waved. "Here he comes now, right on time." Quantum the Train shot through the portal from the opposite direction, shuddered to a halt and hung in space. Lapinette waved both paws. "Beam us up, Quantum!"  The Wabbit knew what Quantum was saying and mimicked his communications system. "I'm a train, not a Federation Starship. We don't have teleporting technology." But the Wabbit was quite wrong because they both shimmered, vanished and reappeared in Engine Room One. For an instant, small particles of light danced in the space where they'd been. The Wabbit's fur stuck up in all directions. He stroked it back with his bionic hand and shook his head. "That's the way to travel." Lapinette looked around for a mirror. "Does Quantum have a fur drier?"
[The original black hole graphic is from the NASA archives under the licence described here]

4. The Wabbit gets a Helping Hand

Wabakaguya grasped the Wabbit's paw. An electrical charge coursed through his body. "Good luck, Commander Wabbit," said Wabakaguya, "now everything depends on you." "Everything?" gasped the Wabbit, "That doesn't leave much to go round." His left paw felt strange. "Concentrate on the paw," said Wabakaguya. The Wabbit focused. Tendons tightened then relaxed. "You have a mechanical hand," observed Lapinette. The Wabbit tried to grip his other paw. "Ouch!" he yelled." Lapinette was practical. "What can it do?" "It's a helping hand," said Wabakaguya. The Wabbit moved all of the fingers. Then he waved the hand. A wind blasted round the hall. "Ooooh," said the Wabbit and he tried to take Lapinette's paw. Lapinette snatched her paw away. "Concentrate, Wabbit!" The Wabbit's eyes narrowed. The mechanical hand melded back into the Wabbit's fur and his paw appeared. Wabakaguya smiled. "The hand can engage with the Fifth Force and make adjustments." "Anything else?" asked the Wabbit. "The fingers can sense the properties of any object," replied Wabakaguya. "And the thumb?" asked Lapinette. The Wabbit concentrated and the hand materialised. He waved the thumb and grinned. "We can always hitch a ride." His teeth flashed as he cocked up the thumb and aimed along a pointed forefinger. "Don't you fire that thing in here," said Wabakaguya.

3. The Wabbit and the Lost Message

It was a long way down. They bounced on every rock then slid into a cavern hall of polished ebony in front of Wabakaguya. "Greetings, Goddess," said the Wabbit, "pleased to meet you." He stuck out a paw. Lapinette went for a curtsy and slipped - but managed to bow her head. "Peace is in every hop." Wabakaguya ground her teeth softly. "Thank you small rabbits. You have a message for me." The Wabbit was as nonplussed as a rabbit could be. He could think of no message but rummaged in his fur just in case. Lapinette thought quickly. "The message is hidden." Wabakaguya growled. Her eyes flashed and became an impossible blue. "For security reasons," added Lapinette quickly. "Ah yes," nodded Wabakaguya, "My minion Hush Hush organised it." The Wabbit had a moment of clarity. "Then it's me," he shouted. "I must be the message." The ebony hall was silent for some time. Wabakaguya bent towards the Wabbit. "If you are the message, then it is you who must save Earth." "I didn't know it needed saving," said the Wabbit but with little certainty. "The Earth is in great danger," said Wabakaguya. "The Earth is always in danger," shrugged the Wabbit, "we get used to it." Wabakaguya growled long and deeply. "There is a quantum force which would destroy everything. It is called the Fifth Force." Lapinette knew of only four and said so with a sigh. "But the forces are all part of a single unified force." "Not anymore," said Wabakaguya ...
[Wabakaguya: Princess Kaguya is the moon rabbit of many cultures, but specified by the Tale of the Woodcutter (Japan)] 

2. The Wabbit and the Fourth Kind

It had the outer appearance of Earth's moon, but that was the end of any resemblance. The planetoid was ruggedly shelved and it took a while to land. Terrain was difficult. Gravity was grim. Lapinette and the Wabbit scouted the territory but it needed agility and a lot of effort. "It's a good thing we can hop," said Lapinette. "We hop, therefore we are," panted the Wabbit. Lapinette's ears shook as the ground trembled. The radio crackled angrily and Wabsworth's tone was urgent. "Reading seismic activity." The Wabbit focused his special glasses. "I can see whiskers," he murmured, "giant whiskers." "And I heard scrabbling," said Lapinette. The Wabbit guessed things were serious. "What kind of scrabbling?" Lapinette hissed softly. "Scrabbling of the Fourth Kind." "Oooh, supernatural," breathed the Wabbit.  A chattering dislodged a few rocks. Wabsworth hopped away from the precipice. A series of scratching noises reverberated in the cavern - edgier than Morse Code. Wabsworth's radio burst into life. "I was expecting you," cooed a voice. In the distance, he saw the Wabbit's paw make a circular motion that suggested time wasting. "Caller, please identify yourself. State your name, business and favourite soccer team." More rocks tumbled. "I am Wabakaguya, Goddess." "And the team, if you please," said Wabsworth slowly. "Urawa Red Diamonds," yelled the voice. "Slogan?" continued Wabsworth. "No-one likes us we don't care," shouted the Goddess.

1. The Wabbit & the Bad Acid Jerker

The Wabbit watched the craft leave. "Good riddance," shrugged Lapinette. But it didn't go quickly enough. "We haven't seen the last of them," said the Wabbit, "we may need our photon torpedoes." Quantum the Train gave a hollow laugh. "I'm a train. Trains don't come with artillery." Lapinette couldn't help laughing, but stopped immediately when Quantum said, "We only have that experimental weapon you were developing, Commander." Lapinette put her paws over her ears. "I don't want to hear it." The Wabbit smirked. "It's already proved rather effective." "What on?" sighed Lapinette. "Soft toys," said the Wabbit. Quantum's voice boomed. "I liked that name you gave it, Wabbit." "The Bad Acid Jerker?" laughed the Wabbit. "It's a working title." Lapinette was far from amused. So the Wabbit reached into his fur and pressed a hidden button. The other craft suddenly stopped, shuttled backwards, then forwards again. It had gained only one meter. "Oh let me try!" shouted Lapinette. She reached deep into the Wabbit's fur and pressed several times. The craft jerked like a crazy pin ball but made little distance. "That's hold 'em," said the Wabbit. "Until what?" asked Lapinette. "Until we get there," said the Wabbit, pointing. A moon identical to earth's glimmered dimly in the light of the Sombrero Galaxy. "Lattice drive, Quantum," said the Wabbit. "Reach for that moon."

The Wabbit's Adventure Dining Car

The Wabbit gritted his 28 teeth and called again. "Unidentified craft, respond." Lapinette knew he'd keep trying and gave her attention to the monitor. The craft looked just like them - but there was something not quite right. "Quantum, any ideas?" Quantum's voice boomed from the speakers. "It looks like Unit One." Everyone turned. "It's the motor unit from the other end of this train," said Quantum. Even Wabsworth was astonished. "I didn't think there was one." "Unit One was due for dismantling long ago," said Quantum. Now the Wabbit's voice was urgent. "Calling Unit One. Respond." The craft responded. "This is Commander Wabbit. Stand down immediately. Disengage your weapons." "But I am the Wabbit," said the Wabbit. The pause was interminable. "This is the Wabbit," said the radio. "Disengage or we will fire." Skratch crouched and signalled to the Wabbit. "We're caught in a sci-fi trope. The craft and personnel are our opposites." "An anti-Quantum?" suggested Lapinette. Now the Wabbit's voice lilted suggestively into his radio. "Unit One, you have an urgent appointment at the far side of the Universe." "Appointment?" said the craft. "An urgently urgent appointment," replied the Wabbit hypnotically. "They're waiting for you. You must go. Leave now and you'll just have time to be fashionably late." Unit One started to pull away and the radio crackled. "Stay where you are. We'll be back." "No rush," grinned the Wabbit, "we'll break open the liquor cabinets ..."

11. The Wabbit and the Train Home

There were several detonations. The polar caps heaved into a spiral and as the moon tilted back, so did Earth. Quantum shot into deep space like a cork from a bottle. "This is the DWA monitoring station," said a radio voice, "If you wish to leave a message, press 1." The Wabbit chortled and pressed all the buttons he could find. "I'm a time travelling train, not a secretary," boomed Quantum. They all shook as he disengaged lattice drive with a thump and, far from anywhere, they hung in space. "What time is it?" asked Lapinette. "The day before yesterday," said Quantum. The Wabbit gazed from the windscreen and murmured. "We have to get back at exactly the time we left." "Like we were never away," breathed Lapinette. Skratch's voice sounded over the speakers. "Do we have to hang around much longer?" "I'm afraid we're behind the times," said the Wabbit, "we have to catch up." Wabsworth chimed in. "This looks like the Sombrero Galaxy." "Oh," said Lapinette. "I do hope we don't meet anyone we know." The Wabbit nodded his head in considered agreement. "Let's move out of here, Quantum." "Look over there!" said Lapinette. "Steady as she goes," warned the Wabbit as Quantum swung round. Lapinette brought the object on screen and gasped. "It looks like another Quantum!" The Wabbit looked closely.  His fur prickled. "It's not another Quantum, it's us!"

10. Wabsworth and Connectivity

Somewhere behind them a soundless battle raged. Skratch the Cat watched Wabsworth make connections, which he tested with a damp paw. "That goes there," purred Skratch. Wabsworth shook his head. "The Wabbit designed this. Nothing goes where you think." The phone rang and a flash seared a path across Skratch's nose. The phone coughed a message. "The Wabbit is enchanted you rang. Redirecting you now." Skratch felt a wind ruffle his fur and shivered. "We haven't much time, Wabsworth. Is that it?" Wabsworth pulled a set of components from his fur and made another connection. "Connect 'em wires, dem dry wires." he hummed. Device Two burst into life. "This is Radio Luxembourg presenting the Beaver Club with Uncle Eric." Wabsworth nodded approvingly. "Nearly there." Skratch grimaced as Wabsworth began to sing. "Dem wires, dem wires, gonna walk around." His paws blurred as connections snicked into place. A radio whine from Device One set Skratch's teeth on edge. A series of pops and crackles did the same to his fur. "Fifteen seconds to detonations," said Device One, "please clear the neighbourhood." Skratch glanced over his shoulder to glimpse Susan the Biplane diving from an impossible angle. "Get ready to jump," said Wabsworth. But Skratch was already on board, so with one enormous hop, Wabsworth joined him. "Hit it!" he yelled ...

9. The Wabbit and the Shape of Three

The Wabbit plucked a phone from his fur and attached it to his radio. "This is no time for a selfie," said Lapinette. "There's always time for a selfie," replied the Wabbit and he yelled at the radio until feedback simulated an echo. "Selfie, selfie, selfie," whined the phone. The Wabbit took a roll of duct tape and bound radio and phone together. "This," said the Wabbit, "is the Third device." "I don't understand," sighed Lapinette. The Wabbit wrinkled his nose. "We can't find the Third Device. In Department of Danger terms, that means I already have it." Lapinette suddenly smiled. "Now I get it." The Wabbit threw the makeshift device to Wabsworth. "You stand the most chance of success." Wabsworth also smiled. "Because I'm an android?" Skratch grunted with amusement. "Android must speak unto android?" The Wabbit's voice sharpened. "You're going too." Skratch's purr was low and menacing. "Because I'm a cat?" "Because you're the cat's whiskers," said the Wabbit. "You locate the other two devices. Wabsworth will attach all three together." "What happens next?" asked Wabsworth. "The radio will call the phone," said the Wabbit, "then the phone will answer and take a message. You'll have just enough time to rendezvous with us and Susan." "Just enough time?" echoed Lapinette. The Wabbit's 28 teeth flashed. "Enough time to get the hell out of the way ..."

8. The Wabbit and the Force of Venom

The NiGHT riders passed over them with devastating effect. Both moon and earth began to tilt and they all gripped one another because they were tilting too. "Orders?" asked Lapinette. "Watch," said the Wabbit. Several things happened at once. Quantum's quantum lattice beam sliced across the surface and picked out the team. Designed to be impenetrable, no-one had ever tried it before - so the Wabbit poked it with his knife and the beam formed a shield around the blade. "It works," murmured the Wabbit. "Now what should we do?" asked Skratch. "Nothing," said the Wabbit. Lapinette glanced over her shoulder. Hundreds, maybe thousands of red spiders made spiky silhouettes against the Earth's blue glow. The Wabbit's radio crackled with enigmatic space transmissions. "Device Three status activated." "Payloads primed." Lapinette's ears quivered. "Payloads?" "Arachnid venom," shrugged the Wabbit, "it's been trialled." Wabsworth shuddered and so did Skratch. "What's the delivery system?" asked Lapinette. "Bites on the front," explained the  Wabbit. "Then Duetta's spiders will also bite the sides." "But what does Device Three do?" asked Wabsworth. "It's hush hush," said the Wabbit. "What the binky does that mean, Wabbit?" groaned Skratch. The Wabbit grinned. "It means I have no clue ..."

7. The Wabbit and the NiGHT Riders

"Here they come," said the Wabbit. "I feel like we've done this before," said Skratch the Cat. Wabsworth waved a pocket knife. "What we did once, we can very well do again."  Lapinette paused. She took an edged weapon from her frock and ran a paw along the blade. "What did we do again?" she murmured. "Trick our enemies," said the Wabbit. "It would be silly not to," said Skratch. The Nocturnal High Garrison seemed to fly from behind the earth and trailed a swirling dark mist. "Tribulation coming," said Wabsworth. "Tribulation is worse at night," sighed the Wabbit. Lapinette nodded. "How long is night on the moon?" "Two weeks," answered Wabsworth. "Starting when?" said Skratch. "Starting now," said Wabsworth. The Garrison appeared closer. Scythes slashed through whatever atmosphere there was. Galloping clattered on the surface is if at a racetrack. Then the voices came. First they were whispers, then shouts, then finally laughter as they called to each other. "Conquest!" shouted the first. "Power," yelled the second. "Hunger," shouted the third. But the last hung back and raised a mighty sword. "Death to the Wabbit and his kind!" he moaned. The Wabbit's 28 teeth glinted earthlight across the craters. "That sounds like hard work to me," snarled the Wabbit ...

6. The Wabbit and the Hob Goblins

"Run!" shouted the Wabbit.  The Hob Goblins were huge and they bore down on the team with fiery fur-burning breath. "I'd forgotten what day it was!" yelled the Wabbit. "Hallowe'en!" shouted Lapinette. "Samhain!" added Wabsworth, who was rather out of breath for an android. Skratch the Cat said nothing and saved his energy for leaping and pouncing. "Is this the Nocturnal High Garrison of Tribulation?" asked Lapinette. "I don't think so," puffed the Wabbit. "they're just an added bonus." Wabsworth hopped to the side and glanced over his shoulder. "Hobgoblins are mischief makers, not serious contenders."  A bolt of searing heat touched his ears. "We're cooking tonight, earth rabbits." shouted the Goblins. The Wabbit was tired of running and suddenly wheeled around. "DWA!" he yelled. "Stop right there." The Hob Goblins came to a halt and heat fizzled out. Gradually, they faded until nothing remained but a faint smell of hot metal and singed fur. They all looked around. "What next?" asked Skratch, "A visit from the BunnyMan and his axe?" suggested the Wabbit. Lapinette sighed. "I'd rather meet the BunnyMan than the Nocturnal High Garrison of Tribulation." A sudden crash of an axe made them jump. "Now's your opportunity!" moaned a voice. The Wabbit looked at Wabsworth. He shook his head. "That wasn't me." Wabsworth looked at Lapinette. Lapinette shrugged and looked at Skratch. "He's real and he's here," meaowed Skratch.
[DWA: Dept of Wabbit Affairs.  The BunnyMan: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bunny_Man ]

5. The Wabbit and the Next Device

The first device sang merrily and Wabsworth clutched it close to his ear. "Don't go out tonight," it chirruped merrily, "there are mad moons on the rise." But despite the singing, it took the team to an installation distinguished by two curious tunnels. Lapinette scrutinised them. "Portals?" she suggested. Skratch prowled over to have a closer look - but Lapinette was cautious. "Don't go too far, Skratch." "What?" snorted Skratch. "And change the habits of a lifetime?" Lapinette scuffed rocks with her feet and bent down. "Aha!" she said, "this must be Unit 2." She pressed every switch there was, and pushed every button - but nothing happened. Suddenly Unit 2 slipped from her grasp, hit the ground with a crack and burst into life. "This is Unit 2 saying hello and good evening. Have we got some pop pleasers for you!" "Ha ha ha," laughed Unit 1, "it's the end of the world as we knew it." Skratch called from the tunnel. "Commander, there are ... others here." "More Units?" asked the Wabbit.  A lengthy pause ensued. "No. They're more like Goblins, Commander. Hob Goblins." "Back off, Skratch," said the Wabbit urgently. But it was too late. Voices boomed, almost in unison. "We can see you, earth rabbits." "We saw you first," said the Wabbit.

4. The Wabbit and the First Device

Susan pretended to crash land and they all made their way across the rocky surface.  "Wow, look at these boulders," said Lapinette. "Just like Stonehedge," winked the Wabbit. "Up ahead, Wabbit," called Skratch from a nearby rock. They rounded the remains of a large meteoroid and there it was - a basic looking device, with knobs and numbers. "It looks early, Commander," said Wabsworth. "I'm uncertain of its stability." The Wabbit stretched out a paw and probed a knurled knob. The device burst into song. "I'm being followed by you moon shadows," it warbled. The Wabbit nudged Wabsworth and grinned. "There's your date. It's 1971." "Moon shadows, moon shadows," trilled the device. "Can you please shut it off!" yelled Lapinette. But the device kept singing. "It's a droid," sighed Wabsworth. He bent close and whispered urgently. "Command Line 76. Execute Bootstrap. Information Protocol 119." "Hello," said the device. A light blinked. Then a series of lights. Then a buzzer. "Connected," said the device. The Wabbit speculated on the connections, but he knew the answer before the device spoke again. "This is Unit 1, Hello. Hello Unit 2, Hello. Hello Unit 3, Hello." Wabsworth suddenly grabbed the device and hoisted it onto his shoulder. "Cut the courtesy calls and take me to the others," he growled.