The Wabbit at the Adventure Caffè

The Wabbit and Lapinette arrived to find Skratch the Cat and Wabsworth in heated debate. "No Wabsworth," said Skratch, "the story within a story is as old as Odysseus himself." Ghost Bunny fluttered across the tables and finding no-one to haunt, eavesdropped. Wabsworth waved a paw in dismissal. "The inside story guides us to the attributes of the characters, because the outside story has no plot." Lapinette nudged the Wabbit and dragged him to a table. "My staycation is over," frowned the Wabbit, "it was never supposed to have a plot." Skratch turned to greet them both. "OK Wabbit, then it's your turn to say what kind of an Adventure that was." The Wabbit grinned a big grin. "Its function was to disclose the background of characters to the audience, somewhat like Odysseus." Ghost Bunny fluttered and wailed. "The Wabbit met ghouls, sea serpents and shadows without bodies." Lapinette chipped in. "And he used tricks," "And culinary explosives," murmured Wabsworth. "All very colourful," smiled Skratch. "I met your long lost distant cousin by the way." The Wabbit had nearly forgotten about trying to stay incognito - and was embarrassed by his deception. Lapinette covered for him. "That was a test of the Wabbit's wearable technology app." "I knew it was you Wabbit," said Skratch, "because you suddenly disappeared." The Wabbit looked furtive. He swiped his app and his ears vanished. "I'm taking that away," said Lapinette.

11. The Wabbit and the Jolly Vampires

Around the corner, the Wabbit and Ghost Bunny awaited developments. They didn't have to wait too long. Light spilled onto the street and with it came three merry figures, They were very merry indeed, having come from an extensive dinner and their cries rattled the rooftops, "Who are they?" asked Ghost Bunny. "These," smiled the Wabbit, "are the Three Jolly Vampires," and he explained. Unlike most vampires, the three had given up on orthodox vampirism. They liked bright lights and happily feasted on exotic wild garlic, but their shadowless appearance gave them dreadful anguish. Now was the moment. The Shadows from Pluto suddenly sprang and it took but an instant for them to attach to the vampires. The jolly figures looked down in amazement. They twisted and turned but the shadows were firmly affixed and danced in the street, hauling the vampires with them. "We have our very own shadows," cried a vampire gleefully, "You'll never, ever get rid of us," cried the shadows. Ghost Bunny fluttered up and down. "Wabbit, how did you know the Three Jolly Vampires would be here?" "This is where they dine," said the Wabbit, laughing, "but now I'm feeling a little peckish myself." "I need a drink," said Ghost Bunny. And together both the Wabbit and Ghost Bunny melted into the night ...

10. The Wabbit and the Object Hotel

The Wabbit hopped forcefully from the Metro with the shadows following close behind. It only took a swipe of his wearable technology application to give him an idea and his paws were guided to a suitable location. There he found Ghost Bunny hovering over a hotel sign that cast a red neon glow around the hallowed entrance below. The Wabbit stopped and waved his paw like a tour guide. "I've known this place for many years," he announced. His shadow charges made an eerie sound so the Wabbit continued. "Often, I saw guests emerge who had no shadow and who seemed in desperate need of one." The shadows wailed painfully in desire and the Wabbit waved his paw in a kind of blessing. "So here are your objects and your salvation." The shadows wailed once more. "Perhaps they won't want us as their shadows." The Wabbit shook his head. "Don't ask. Merely attach yourselves. In all likelihood they won't know at first." The shadows murmured, "What then?" "Ah," smiled the Wabbit, "then you're stuck with each other and you have to work out an accommodation between you." "Can't we be your shadow?" pleaded the leading shadow. Now the Wabbit laughed. "I already have my own shadow and one is quite enough." A blood curdling shriek from Ghost Bunny alerted the Wabbit to approaching guests. "Now," said the Wabbit, "let's see which objects have no shadow ..."
[The Hotel Dogana Vecchia is a well appointed hotel in Turin. Located in the historical district, it is possibly the oldest in the city.]

9. The Wabbit & Shadows of the Object

The Wabbit swiped his new app and his eyes flashed brightly and stayed bright. "I am your destiny," he growled, "Follow me." Then the Wabbit moved past the shadows without acknowledgement and hopped into the tunnel. "State your crimes, by the way," called the Wabbit. His voice echoed from the walls. The shadows wailed. "Our only crime is that we separated from our objects." The Wabbit did not reply and he hopped along the rails without a backward glance. "Wabbit," whispered Ghost Bunny. "Their objects don't want them back." The Wabbit nodded - but he kept going and the shadows followed. "Supposing I found you new objects." The Wabbit's tone was clipped and even Ghost Bunny felt nervous. The shadows wailed eerily along the tracks. "Great One, truly you are the Wabbit of whom they speak." Points snicked in the distance. Ghost Bunny fluttered close to the Wabbit and communicated telepathically. "What's the plan, Great One?" The Wabbit silently replied. "They want objects, we give them objects." Ghost Bunny floated and thought. She had no idea what these objects might be and probably neither did the Wabbit. But she could see he was thinking. Now the Wabbit's voice was sharp. "I would find you a new object world requiring shadows. Alas, I'm on my holidays." The shadows howled in disappointment as the Wabbit wheeled round to face them. He hissed and paused. "Luckily you have my interest ..."

8. The Wabbit and the Shadow of Pluto

The Wabbit and Ghost Bunny tracked the sounds to the Metro. Ghost Bunny's portal to Pluto had shifted location and things were buzzing. The Wabbit swiped his wearable technology app and pushed his head through the force field. Ghost Bunny did the same, although strictly speaking she didn't have to. On the other side, Lapinette's personal guard was engaged in a firefight and looked under pressure. They fired and fired but shadows advanced with menacing shrieks.  "What kind of Binky is this on my holiday?" muttered the Wabbit. Ghost Bunny swirled hazily through the force field. "The Shadows of Pluto," she whispered, "they're supposed to be in permanent custody." "What for?" mused the Wabbit. "Crimes against light" said Ghost Bunny. The Wabbit growled, "Then they mustn't get through," and he burst through the field. Tipsy fired a steady stream of rounds to minimal effect and yelled, "Commander, you're on staycation, Hop back through the portal immediately!" The Wabbit dusted his fur. "Certainly not." Fitzy signalled to the Wabbit. "Sheeps' shiblets, Commander, that's an order." The Wabbit smiled heartily. "I'm freelancing." The shadows got closer. "Halt," said the Wabbit. The shadows stopped and one of them spoke. "Are you the rabbit that is "Yet to Come?" The Wabbit's 28 teeth looked like a sharp comb. "Consider me arrived."

7. The Wabbit and the Invited Ghost

Now the Wabbit was really enjoying his break. So he headed to Pluto Park where he knew he'd run into one of his friends. He hopped up and down and all around the iron towers whilst whistling a happy tune. Nothing happened and all was quiet. He wondered whether he was whistling loud enough and doubled his efforts. Then he heard what he was waiting for. It was like whistling too, but spooky. It got louder and louder and eventually Ghost Bunny fluttered down to greet the Wabbit. "I came to haunt your holiday." The Wabbit pretended to flinch. "Proceed," he nodded. Suddenly the air was full of spectres, coming and going and shouting,"Alarm! Frighten! Scare!" The Wabbit saluted heartily. "A terrifying display. Thank you." Everyone in the Wabbit's team was quite aware that Ghost Bunny was in love with the Wabbit, and that she had been ever since she followed him back from Pluto. In turn, they also knew of the Wabbit's deep affection for Ghost Bunny. He held out a paw. "Boo!" said Ghost Bunny. "Alarmed to meet you," replied the Wabbit. "You're just saying that," said Ghost Bunny, coyly. The Wabbit laughed. "I'd be too scared to trick you." "Wabbit, are you enjoying your staycation?" asked Ghost Bunny. "Things are just a little too quiet around here," smiled the Wabbit. At that moment there was a strange noise in the distance. Then another just like it. The Wabbit and Ghost Bunny looked at each other and grinned, "Trouble ..!"

6. The Wabbit and Dinosaur Funding

The Wabbit disembarked and hopped the quay. Wabsworth hurried towards him. "Sorry to disturb you during your Staycation, Commander!" "All part of the holiday," said the Wabbit brightly. Wabsworth waved an impressive looking bond. "It's your Dinosaur Fund." Wabsworth was breathing heavily for an android and he looked anxious. But nothing could phase the Wabbit on his staycation - not even a curious threshing from the river. He shrugged and waited for an explanation. "Funds passed through Panama and became incredibly soiled," said Wabsworth, "so we routed them for deep cleaning." The Wabbit was cheered. "Where?" he asked. "Loch Ness, Scotland," replied Wabsworth. A bellow echoed along the quay as a dinosaur reared from the river. The Wabbit smiled nonchalantly because anything can happen on a staycation - and he swiped his app. "Is it Nessie?" "Ciamar a tha thu?" said the dinosaur. The Wabbit felt a warm glow from his fur and nodded. "I'm having fun on my staycation." Nessie roared in an impressive fashion. "We forgot to bill you for ironing. We're proud of our personal touch, so I came directly." Wabsworth waved the bond frantically and Nessie snatched it in her jaws and roared. "That will do nicely." Wabsworth frowned. "I insist on a receipt." A receipt fluttered down and the Wabbit tucked it in his fur and gazed up. "How did you get here, Nessie?" Nessie bellowed. "The official channels!"
[Ciamar a tha thu? : Scottish Gaelic. How are you?]

5. The Wabbit and the Familiar Spirits

The Wabbit hardly had time to do anything technically wearable. Monsters appeared from every cranny and soon the ferry was full of them. There was something familiar about the creatures and Wabbit was suitably contemptuous. Besides, he was on his holidays. He plunged a paw into his fur and swiped his app in good faith - but although it it was extensively extensive it did have some limitations where monsters were concerned. The Wabbit didn't care. He grinned and groped for something else, something long forgotten. He located it, pulled it out and threw it. The object exploded in a fine red mist to which the Wabbit was totally impervious. Known as Rabbit's Revenge it was the hottest chilli known to the civilised world. Plastic melted, paint peeled and the surface of the river boiled with a crimson glow. The monsters coughed and spluttered and choked but the Wabbit happily ingested the mist and declared it delicious. He was having a wonderful time. If monsters came close he merely breathed at them and they recoiled, whimpering, to the far side of the boat. He tried that several times but eventually he got bored and pushed them overboard. For a while he watched, as one by one they sank under the launch and disappeared. He swiped his wearable technology app and his fur told him he was having fun. The Wabbit's 28 teeth pulled back in an expression of pure delight. But he couldn't help checking the hour. "Time flies when you're enjoying yourself," chortled the Wabbit.

4. The Wabbit and the Woollen Gun

The Wabbit defended his staycation valiantly. He slipped aboard the ferry and found a pleasant spot in the open - but he was surprised to hear Captain Jenny's voice issuing from loudspeakers. "Attention tourists. Belay falling overboard. There be monsters." The Wabbit was perplexed, but he swiped his wearable technology app and his fur gave him a hug. He sighed agreeably. His hearing seemed enhanced and spray sounded like gravel as the vessel cut through the water. Sensors activated in the Wabbit's shoulders. An electronic voice whispered. "Unknown enemy to the right." and plunged his paw into his fur. The Wabbit couldn't do a thing. His paw drew out a pistol made of wool and pointed it. The other paw moved like lightning and threw a steady stream of woollen bullets across the Wabbit's chest. The Wabbit loaded and fired. The weapon spat balls of scratchy wool at the unknown assailant and the air filled with rough fibres. The Wabbit heard a lengthy, itchy cry, followed by a splash, followed by a gurgle. The Wabbit's fur gave him another hug. Loudspeakers crackled and Jenny's voice spoke sternly. "Please don't feed the monsters, they get used to it." The Wabbit sat on a bench and fumbled for the app. He knew from his fur that this was the best holiday he'd ever had ...

3. The Wabbit's Wearable Technology

The Wabbit leaned on a fence and waited for the motor ferry that plied the river. His staycation was working. Just waiting in solitary silence placed the Wabbit in a state of near bliss. Even when he caught sight of Lapinette, she dutifully ignored him and he watched her skip along the riverside. The Wabbit breathed deeply and relaxed as people came and people went. But he heard something disturb the water and thought it might be a crane. So he turned and, to his annoyance, saw it was Skratch emerging from an early swim. The Wabbit fumbled in his fur and swiped his wearable technology app. The Wabbit's head reddened and his lettering changed. He wondered if it was enough and he swiped again. His head became rather hot. "Don't I know you?" asked Skratch, shaking water from his fur. "You look a bit like my friend, the Wabbit." The bottom half of the Wabbit's body rapidly became semi transparent but the Wabbit chose to ignore it. Instead, he spoke in a husky voice. "I am one long lost distant cousin of the Wabbit. I am coming from Wabbitland." Skratch smiled. "Pleased to meet you. I'm going to a film festival about lost boys flying kites. I can get you in free." "Uh, uh" said the Wabbit and shook his head. "I want to be alone." Skratch looked down. "Very alone. You seem to be disappearing." The Wabbit fanned his face and puffed. "It is just a trick of the light."

2. The Wabbit and the Staycation

Lapinette's emergency whisky spread warmly through the Wabbit's fur. He steadied himself against a post and waved. "I like it here," thought the Wabbit. Lapinette had suggested a vacation and the Wabbit had joked. But he was struck by one of his more interesting ideas. "I'll have a vacation, but I'll stay right here." Lapinette was delighted and hopped off to the furdressers. The Wabbit clung to the post. The gentle sound of a small motor boat hung in air and vanished. The Wabbit felt soothed and basked in the sun. But his eyes followed Lapinette as she hopped into the distance and he knew the word would get round at speed. Soon, his whole team would pass by and everyone would wave. They would all ask how he was enjoying his vacation. The Wabbit was horrified but he felt a warm glow as the emergency whisky suggested another idea.  He was in a process of preparation for the Wearable Technology festival and for this he had developed a small wearable app which he called Wabstealth. Once activated, the Wabbit became to all intent and purposes, invisible. The Wabbit rummaged in his fur and swiped. His paw began to disappear but stopped when only half transparent. He waved the ghostly paw. The paw reappeared. Wabstealth had never been fully tested and was barely operational - but the emergency whisky thought otherwise. "I'll blend in," grinned the Wabbit.

1. The Wabbit and the Wistful Look

The Wabbit took a short hop and became lost in thought. His shoulder throbbed, Although the anti matter weave in his fur had given him protection, the bullet wound was still sore. The Wabbit felt he should never have taken a bullet at all. He should have paid attention. He should have been more careful. He should have foreseen everything. "Maybe," thought the Wabbit, "I'm getting past it." He ran his paw along the fence. The metal felt pleasantly warm in the sun and he left it there for a moment. Cares dropped away. Time melted. He was aware of something delicious in the air and savoured it. His mind returned to old adventures from the old days. They seemed clearer, simpler, more manageable. "A penny for them, Wabbit!" Lapinette hopped up the ramp and placed a paw on his. "I was thinking," murmured the Wabbit. It seemed to Lapinette that the Wabbit was always thinking, but his wistful look was unusual. The Wabbit turned and hugged Lapinette so hard he hurt his shoulder, but he tried not to show it. "Do you ever think of our old adventures?" he asked. Lapinette looked in her frock for her emergency whisky flask. "No. Too many new ones." The Wabbit smiled. "I was thinking I lost my edge." Lapinette found the flask and opened it. "You're as sharp as ever. Maybe you need a vacation?" The Wabbit thought of all the vacations he'd tried to take and suddenly grinned. "Do I have enough ammo?"

The Wabbit's Safe Adventure Caffè

The team assembled at the Safe House, glad of the warmth that wafted from the kitchen. The Wabbit rested his chin on a paw and smiled. Skratch thought he looked sad and threw a paw across his shoulder. "Now Wabbit, what was that for a kind of Adventure?" Lapinette raised her paw and asked a different question. "What did you do with the Tracker?" The Wabbit managed a shrug. "Nothing," he said, "he will henceforth be known as our Agent Three." Lapinette effected an extremely quizzical look and waited. "He's now my main tree in the forest," explained the Wabbit.  Lapinette sighed and pouted. "You're a very sinister Wabbit." Wabsworth wasn't satisfied with this at all. "But this was a very different kind of adventure." Skratch chuckled and patted the Wabbit's shoulder. "Ouch," said the Wabbit. "Sorry Wabbit," said Skratch, I though it had healed." "Oh, it was only a fur wound," smiled the Wabbit. Skratch raised his paw and launched his explanation. "It was an ambush adventure, a genre that ambushes other narratives like a thief in the night." Wabsworth looked at Skratch. "You're right," he said, "it was different. We didn't see the Tracker for a long time. He had to be drawn out and be ambushed instead." "Who tracks the Tracker?" nodded Lapinette sagely. She turned and gave Skratch a compelling look. "I didn't know you were following me until the last minute." "I'm a cat," shrugged Skratch.

9. The Wabbit and the Ethics of Guns

The Wabbit kept talking as he waited. The drop was in and the Wabbit was in charge but for how long? He was aware of his team and he knew they were all close. With sudden action the Wabbit somersaulted and threw his dirk. The Tracker flinched to the right as it shaved past his head. Then he heard the thud as it stuck in a branch above his head. It vibrated with a twanging sound that might have been amusing in other circumstances. Then it fell. There was a faint splat in the snow. "I was hoping for better than that," smiled the Wabbit. Wabsworth's voice called from the woods. "Everything OK, Commander?" The Wabbit called back. "Have you got the chainsaw?" "Right here," lied Wabsworth. The Wabbit stared at the Tracker and spoke to himself. "What the binky am I going to do with you?" Then he shouted. "Stand down or you're kindling!" The Tracker dropped his rifle and his branches sighed. "I was only doing my job." The Wabbit had a moment of clarity. "You're working for the the Agents of Rabit?" "Is that what they're called?" said the Tracker, "I really didn't like them." The Wabbit relaxed. "Not even their mothers like them." He leaned against a tree and spoke through his 28 teeth. "That's an unethical gun." It was the Tracker's turn to relax. "Do you know of an ethical one?"

8. The Wabbit and Wood for the Trees

The Wabbit had the drop on the Tracker and the Tracker knew it. The Wabbit's dirk dug into his neck but there was no blood. A drop of gooey amber liquid seeped down what looked like tree trunk shoulders. The Tracker was quiet for now and he waited. So did the Wabbit. But he was waiting because he hadn't a clue what to do next. The Wabbit consulted his teeth but his teeth were on edge and they ground like a sandblaster. "What am I going to do with you?" he wondered. "What do you propose to do?" echoed the Tracker. "I'll just hang on here, talking to myself," muttered the Wabbit. He chattered his teeth in a menacing manner. "You might take me down," said the Tracker, "but we have branches everywhere." The Wabbit thought about it. Close by in the forest, the team crept through the snow. "There he is," said Lapinette. "What shall we do?" asked Skratch. "He seems on top of things," said Wabsworth. With his free paw, the Wabbit searched in his fur. "What are you doing?" asked the Tracker. "I thought I had a saw with me," said the Wabbit, "... a chainsaw." The Tracker shuddered. "Maybe we could do a deal." Now the Wabbit's teeth relaxed. "Don't be a sap. Nothing you have could interest me." The Tracker swayed. "I can get you as much wood as you could ever gnaw." The Wabbit heard his team approaching and he smiled. "Looks like the wood is coming ..."

7. The Wabbit and the Foe in the Grass

The Wabbit got there first, but he had to think fast. He rummaged deep in his fur for some kind of weapon and at last his paw touched on a knife hilt. It was a ceremonial sgian dubh left over from the Clan MacRabbit annual picnic and the Wabbit thought it might do. He sliced at the grass. The dirk was more than sharp and the Wabbit's 28 teeth lined up for a scowl. "We kin get him down," said the teeth and the Wabbit agreed. He usually did. "It might be better to wait for the team," said an inner voice. "Opportunity," scowled his teeth. The Wabbit inched forward. The Tracker moved forward too and the grass swayed. The Wabbit suddenly lunged and plunged his dirk into the Tracker's back. Nothing happened. The Wabbit's scowl stretched wafer thin. He kicked the figure with stunning force. Nothing moved. The Wabbit shifted round and peered at the figure. It looked frozen solid - so the Wabbit slunk back into the grass. He flicked wood shavings from his dirk and then he shrugged. With lightning speed, the Wabbit lunged at the rifle, grabbed it and rolled. Birds squealed as the gun discharged. The Tracker stooped to retrieve his rifle and he swung and drew a bead on the Wabbit and fired. But there was no Wabbit there. The Tracker looked down at the empty hole in the snow. Then he felt something itchy. The Wabbit's dirk was pricking at his neck. "I'm in charge," said the Wabbit.

6. The Wabbit's Battle for the Snow

Bullets flew and scuffed up snow. The Wabbit and Wabsworth couldn't see a thing but they dived for the ground and threw the only ammunition they had. Snowballs rained. Lapinette jumped from the bridge and took the full force of a snowball. It had been a long trek through the snow and she stumbled. Thrown off balance, her snazer fired randomly into the sky. A cry of pain echoed from the woods accompanied by a brace of angry bullets. The Wabbit rolled away and crashed on Wabsworth's feet. "Whoof!" For an android, Wabsworth had a handy range of expressions. Snow scattered as they tangled. The bridge creaked suddenly, announcing the end of Skratch's measured pursuit. It was just in time - and he pounced in the air to deflect two more rounds. This time the cry was anguished and their adversary fell silent. "It doesn't like close up work," yelled the Wabbit and he stuck his head up. "But it's tough as old boots!" yelled Wabsworth. He pulled the Wabbit down and it wasn't a moment too soon. A bullet streaked past the Wabbit's ears and dug a deep hole in a rock. "I've got a plan," croaked the Wabbit. Wabsworth kept a foot on the Wabbit's chest and took a chance. He stood as tall as he could and made a circular motion with a single paw. Lapinette and Skratch vanished as quickly as they'd appeared. "Split up," hissed Wabsworth. There was no reply. The Wabbit was already on his way. 

5. The Wabbit and the M.I.Bullet

The Wabbit and Wabsworth were the worse for wear, but they trudged through the snow to low ground. A bridge beckoned. Wabsworth didn't like the look of it and the Wabbit even less. They scanned the territory. "Something over there," said Wabsworth, and he hopped out to make an inspection. He was quickly back. "Dead?" asked the Wabbit. "As dead as they come," said Wabsworth. The Wabbit held up a bullet. "There's another one here." Wabsworth brushed frost from his fur and adjusted his damaged ear. "It's a massacre." "This tracker is indiscriminate," sighed the Wabbit. Wabsworth looked everywhere he could. "Know who he is?" The Wabbit flipped the bullet in the air. "Whoever or whatever it is, this is the latest technology." Wabsworth growled. "By the look of our friend over there, I'd say we got off light." The Wabbit bent close to the snow and sniffed. His ears rotated a full 360 degrees. "It went that way." He held a paw level with the snow. "It's limping." Wabsworth stiffened. "I heard something." Somewhere in the monochrome landscape, there was a flash of red. "More company," said the Wabbit. Wabsworth flinched as the Wabbit's stomach grumbled loudly. "Got any food?" asked the Wabbit. Wabsworth rummaged in his coat. "Two Lurps and a frozen carrot." The Wabbit's stomach groaned. "Then we wait ..."

[LuRP: Long Range Patrol ration. MI: Multiple Impact]

4. Lapinette and the Whispering Tree

The Wabbit was missing so when radio contact failed, Lapinette armed herself to the teeth. The clearing looked clear and she paused by a big tree and listened. She heard a dull thud in the distance. Twigs cracked and snow crunched. She looked up through the branches. The sky looked like shards of breaking ice and she shivered as a wind chilled her fur. Lapinette had always respected trees. With trees you never knew and the branches of the big tree were swaying much too close. "Where on earth is the Wabbit?" murmured Lapinette. "Which one is he?" said a voice that came with a wind from the tree. Lapinette saw no harm in speaking. "The brown one." "There are two brown ones," said the voice. Lapinette's breath froze in the icy air. "How many altogether?" The voice seemed friendly. "Four, not counting you." Lapinette had an idea. "How many following?" The big tree swayed and the wind gusted sharp and cold. "Two, but one of them is a tracker." Lapinette slipped the safety catch on her automatic then glanced behind her - but there was nothing. She prodded the snow with a foot. "How far?" she thought. "Closer than you think," said the voice. A piece of tree bark dropped. Lapinette spotted a track in the snow that wound past the tree and over a knoll. "Thanks," she whispered." "Why are we whispering?" asked the voice ...

3. The Wabbit and the Ear in the Snow

The Wabbit fished gauze from his fur and dabbed at his wound. His radio had taken a bullet. It crackled loudly and the Wabbit stamped on it. He looked further and noticed something. It was unmistakably familiar and he took a closer look. One of Wabsworth's ears lay in the snow. Suddenly it twitched and spoke in the distinctive tone of Wabsworth's android voice. "Over here Commander." "Shsh .." hissed the Wabbit. He cast around. Beyond a snowdrift, he saw Wabsworth's other ear. He hoped it was still attached to his body. There was no sign of a Tracker. But that was a tracker's job and the Wabbit kept quiet. He lifted Wabsworth's ear and whispered. "Wabsworth, can you move?" There was a lengthy pause before an electronic voice said, "I'm stuck." "I'll get you," whispered the Wabbit, "radio silence." He started to hop but for every hop there was a deafening crunch. The forest seemed to answer. Branches crackled. A drip from melting ice sounded like a bullet and the Wabbit froze. He quietly dropped. With his belly on the snow, the Wabbit propelled himself like a bobsleigh. The ice was slippery now and he accelerated. He made headway but the drift loomed like an iceberg - and although he tried to brake, it made matters worse. He groaned as he hit the drift with his injured shoulder and the impact threw him high like a clay pigeon. For a moment he looked down at Wabsworth. Then the ground came up fast ...

2. The Wabbit and the Red Dot

The Wabbit forgot all about his dream. There had been a light fall of snow and the mountain park beckoned. He was due a free day, so he took it there and then. His tram rattled out to Sassi and soon he'd climbed the hill. The path wove its way along the slopes and the Wabbit happily hopped it. Everything was still and snow crunched under his paws. "Fresh mountain air," muttered the Wabbit. Suddenly his fur tickled and he rubbed a spot on his chest, but the itch got worse, so he looked down. It appeared to be a large red insect. He watched it jump around and tried several times to brush it away, but it stayed where it was. The Wabbit slapped a paw to his chest, but now the insect was on his paw. He pretended to stare at the trees and jumped quickly from side to side. "Exercise time!" shouted the Wabbit. Snow fell from a tree somewhere ahead. A branch cracked. The red dot vanished. The Wabbit waited and touched his paws a few times, then he started to jog. He weaved close to the edge of the hill and took a measured glance down. He paused. His ears swayed. Usually the forest was unnaturally silent, but there was something. He heard metal slide. With a sudden lurch, the Wabbit threw himself down the hill. A sharp blow to the shoulder propelled him towards a tree and he hit it with force. Snow fell all around him. The Wabbit stayed motionless but his eyes swiveled. There was something on the ground ...

1. The Wabbit and The Following

The Wabbit was describing a dream and Skratch the Cat could make neither head nor tail of it. "It was this big," said the Wabbit, "and it came slithering after me." Skratch did his best. "How did you feel in the dream?" "Uncomfortable," replied the Wabbit, rubbing at his fur. Skratch waited for more information. "Then a cat came," said the Wabbit, "and it followed the thing that was following me." "Did you recognise the cat?" asked Skratch. The Wabbit shrugged. "No, it was just a standard cat." Skratch's purr wavered slightly. "Then what?" "The cat suddenly jumped on the thing and ate it," shivered the Wabbit, "and it started to glow." Skratch began to feel itchy. "The cat or the thing?" He rubbed at his fur in several feline locations. "The cat glowed," said the Wabbit. Now an image formed in Skratch's mind. Shudders ran up and down his spine and he gritted his teeth. "It's a tracker," he grunted. "And it's coming." The Wabbit looked doubtful. "Coming for what?" Skratch sighed. "Coming for you, Wabbit." The Wabbit waved his paws around. He was suspicious of predictive dreams but he didn't discount them either. Skratch scratched his chest and the Wabbit followed his movements. "You seem to know more about this tracker than me, Skratch. What will it look like?" "Very credible," purred Skratch. "Credible as they come ..."

The Wabbit at the Adventure Caffè

The Wabbit tracked Skratch and Lapinette to a kiosk that catered for the soccer crowd. "Aha!" he murmured to himself. "I thought I'd never find the place." Skratch was delivering some kind of lecture with Lapinette in rapt attention. It was a lecture so passionate he'd heard it from the corner. "I'll ask the question!" interrupted the Wabbit. "So what was that for a gloomy sort of adventure?" Skratch turned and smiled. "I found it optimistic, Wabbit." Lapinette's paw hung artfully from the back of a chair. "I know exactly," she breathed. "It was a neo realist adventure." She paused for effect. "The camera is an idiot. It's what in front of it that counts." The Wabbit stared at Skratch. Skratch stretched and placed a paw across his chest. "Rossellini said that recognition of evil was a sign of hope." The Wabbit cast a scathing glance at the menu. "Then I hope there's a better caffè across the road." Everyone laughed. Lapinette stood and Skratch pulled back her chair. "Rossellini preferred not to work from a script," he purred. "Just like us," chirped the Wabbit. He made a move to leave, but Skratch wouldn't stop talking. "Rossellini used real people, not professional actors." "Just as we do!" repeated the Wabbit. "One more thing," said Skratch, "neo realism wasn't a genre. It was a cultural movement." Lapinette looked at the Wabbit and spoke in a husky Ingrid Bergman voice. "And so are we."

10. The Wabbit and the Dark Side

Lapinette pressed the shutter. The camera flashed and the scene changed. A ghostly rabbit floated over an equally ghostly restaurant. Around his head was a dark halo and his piercing eyes were a sapphire blue. "These are for you," said the rabbit. His outstretched paws held two prints and both depicted Lapinette and the Wabbit assaulting the camera. The Wabbit took his print and scrutinised it. Then he looked up at the rabbit and spoke. "You are Tibbar." His voice was quiet. Nonetheless, it echoed sharply from the vaulted roof. The dark rabbit nodded. "We have a common interest, Wabbit." But the Wabbit shook his head. "No. I have no interest in modifying the wicked. That's something they have to do for themselves." Tibbar's eyes flashed. "I returned your friend, Skratch." "It was a spiteful joke to take him," retorted Lapinette. Now Tibbar laughed. "You used violence to get him back." His smile was a sneer. "So you are just the same as me." The Wabbit stood his ground. "Hardly," he said. "You look a little dead to me." He tore up his print and scattered the fragments over the balcony. Lapinette followed suit. Tibbar raged in pain. He gathered the remaining fragments and clutched them to his chest. He howled long and hard. Then Tibbar and the fragments and the camera vanished as if they had never been. Lapinette stared at the Wabbit. "How did you know? I've never heard of Tibbar." "It was a lucky guess," said the Wabbit.
[Tibbar: Anonym of rabbit. The letters are reversed.]

9. The Wabbit and Speed of Change

The Wabbit blew up the print to nearly full size and pinned it on a wall. Lapinette put the Wabbit's emergency camera on a tripod and framed the shot. "Just a jiffy!" said the Wabbit in an urgent voice. He rummaged frantically in his fur and took out a light meter. Then he held it aloft and waved it around. Lapinette sighed. "This shot is not for Vogue, Wabbit." But the Wabbit was adamant. "If this is going to work, it has to be accurate. What setting do you have?" "Automatic," murmured Lapinette. "No such thing," said the Wabbit and he reeled off some numbers. Lapinette poked the controls and smiled. Then she pressed the shutter release. "Click," said a voice. The Wabbit stared past Lapinette and directly at the Agent. He hadn't reckoned on an appearance that rapid. But there he was. "Never mistake appearance for reality, Commander," said the Agent of Rabit. The Agent was slightly translucent. Dark light shimmered from his fur and gave off a faint chemical smell. Lapinette blinked at the Wabbit and Wabbit blinked back. They waited silently. "Who am I?" said the Agent. The Wabbit's 28 teeth flashed in the curious light. "You're no more an Agent of Rabit, then I am." The figure pointed. "You didn't answer my question!" With lightning speed, Lapinette swivelled the camera - and pressed the shutter ...

8. The Wabbit and the Modified Agent

The Wabbit threw Skratch's paw across his shoulders and Lapinette did the same. The Wabbit grabbed the camera and they loped for the exit. Skratch's knees dragged along the walkway. His legs were rubber and his head was worse. He tried to miaow but it was a drawn out moo. Lapinette wore a worried frown. "Where's the bad guy?" she asked. "Inshide" slurred Skratch. But his head drooped and he slumped. The camera whirred and the electronic voice spoke. "Bad guy retained for conversion." The Wabbit shook his head. He hauled Skratch with speed and shouted at the camera, "I want everything back the way it was." "Recognising the wicked," whirred the camera. "Recomposing to good. Commencing modifications." The Wabbit could think of nothing that would halt it. Suddenly the flash fired and a red light blinked. From inside the camera, the Wabbit heard liquid sloshing and he noticed a chemical smell. A print floated out and the Wabbit let it fall. He could see it was the Agent of Rabbit, but the face was heavily blurred and he cursed silently. He wrinkled his nose and looked at Lapinette and hissed. "I wanted him in one piece." Lapinette seized the print. "Do you have another camera?" The Wabbit nodded. "I always have another camera." Lapinette grinned as they pulled Skratch to safety.  "Then I have an idea." The Wabbit's eyes flashed. "Blowup ..?"

7. Skratch and the Arrested Gaze

Skratch was framed and frozen. His mind wandered through apertures. He could see the Wabbit and Lapinette but his view was fragmented. They were talking in mirrored snatches. "Is he out?" said Lapinette. "Out and in" said the Wabbit. He noticed Lapinette had a gun. The Wabbit carried a hammer and it looked edgy. "Inside out," said the Wabbit. "Outside in," said Lapinette. Skratch thought hard and searched for an opening. "He can hear us," said the Wabbit. Skratch tried to shout but his miaow got lost in the fragments. The Wabbit was speaking. "He's stuck." Lapinette pointed her gun. "Sticky situation," she yelled. "It's a breakdown," shouted the Wabbit. "Breakdown, breakthrough," screamed Lapinette. Skratch watched the Wabbit's hammer. It twitched. Skratch looked hard at his paw and willed it to move. It was impossible. Layers bound him fast. Three cracks of an automatic rent the air and then everything shook. His paws flexed and his chest expanded and he yelled. "Give it all you got!" Strength flooded through his limbs and he bunched his paws and swung them just like the Wabbit's hammer. Glass crashed as he smashed his way free. He saw himself lying on the floor of a kitchen. The Wabbit was peering down at him and smiling and asking, "Did I get your good side?" They both seemed to fade. "Iris in," purred Skratch as he passed out.

[An iris shot is used in silent films. Iris in - a black circle closes to end a scene. Iris out opens a scene from black.]

6. Skratch in the Camera Bar

Skratch found himself inside the Wabon Converto. It had a bar and he seemed to have a beer. But the company was far from congenial. "You are the arch-enemy Skratch," snickered the Agent of Rabit, "we have lectures on you." Skratch gulped his beer, belched loudly and ignored the Agent. "I know you're something of an expert," said the Agent, "so am I the sign, the signifier or the signified?" Skratch swivelled his ears. He could hear a mechanical whine - a bit like a winder. "You're only a cypher," he muttered, "no more, no less." The Agent smiled. "We seem to be stuck here, so I have time to eliminate you." Skratch looked the other way. He could see reflections in a glass screen but there was something else. Something was spinning in tune with the winder and it was coming fast. "You're so strong, Agent of Rabit," miaowed Skratch. It was a seductive miaow and he knew how to use it. "The Agent puffed out his chest. " I is the strongiest." Skratch stood and dangled a shapely leg. "I'll bet I couldn't push you over," he miaowed. "Try me," said the Agent of Rabit. Skratch put a foot against the Agent's stomach. and shoved gently. The winder shrieked. An object crashed through the screen and rocketed towards them. "What's that?" asked the Agent. Skratch suddenly punted against the Agent with all his might and shot towards the glass. The object grazed his nose but he arched and batted it at the Agent. He heard a sickening thud. Now Skratch could only see glass. Hundreds, maybe thousands of wafer thin elements. Skratch butted through them ...

5. The Wabbit and the Bench Job

Lapinette and the Wabbit hauled the camera to one of the kitchens. It was the closest they could get to a bench and they set the camera down. Lapinette was hopping mad and she pulled an automatic. "You modified the camera, Wabbit," she yelled. "This is all your fault!" The Wabbit shrugged in an apologetic kind of way. Then he delved in his fur and took out a hammer. "I'm afraid the project is still in its infancy." "So are you!"  shouted Lapinette. She swung her automatic towards the camera. The Wabbit moved slightly out of the way. "Now look, Camera," hissed Lapinette. "We want Skratch the Cat back this instant." But the camera was still. The Wabbit lifted his hammer and the camera whirred a little. "You talkin' to me? snarled the Wabbit. "'Cos I'm talkin' to you. And I got all day, I got all year, I got to the end of time." The Wabbit heard the automatic make a snicky-snacky sound and he tapped the camera none too lightly with his hammer. A sultry electronic voice issued from a tiny speaker. "Rewinding. Please wait." The sound of a winder stung the air for a considerable period. Then it stopped with a click. The voice spoke again.  "Reconstruction underway. Composing subjects, compensating, recomposing. Please wait a few seconds." "Just give us the cat!" yelled Lapinette. She waved her gun. Then she heard three beeps. "Battery failure immanent," said the camera ...

4. The Wabbit and the Cat Conversion

"We've got to sort out this Brownie," said Lapinette. The Wabbit grabbed the camera and made for the escalator. "It's a bench job!" He shook his head in anxious anticipation and kept out of the way of the camera lens. "I don't want to end up in a box."  Lapinette saw what looked like a red reflection. "There's Skratch!" she said with relief in her voice. "He can help!" Skratch the Cat smiled as he rumbled up the elevator. "New camera, Wabbit? Come on, do me a portrait." "No!" yelled the Wabbit in horror. "It's not working." But just at that moment the camera wriggled from his grasp. The shutter snapped and the flash blazed. For a moment nothing happened. "Aha," laughed Skratch. "It's an old fashioned camera. When do I see my picture?" The Wabbit grabbed at the camera. "You'll have to wait." Skratch laughed again. "Someday, my prints will come." But Lapinette was yelling and pointing - and the Wabbit followed her gaze. Behind the glass screen, a lurid comic strip version of Skratch faded into view. He was waving just like Skratch and his mouth was saying something inaudible. Then he dissolved into nothing. Lapinette looked at the Skratch on the escalator. He too was fading fast and before long the escalator was empty. "Skratch will come back," hoped the Wabbit, crossing his paws. Lapinette looked at the Wabbit with big eyes. "Can you fix it?" The Wabbit looked back. "We'll wait and see what develops ..."

3. The Wabbit and the Lost Enemy

The Wabbit dived to the ground floor and tried to grab the camera in case there was danger. But Lapinette had already positioned it for a selfie and her paw was on the shutter release. "No!" yelled the Wabbit. Now they both had the camera. They wrestled it back and forth but to no avail. It panned around as if it was hunting for an image. Then it stopped and sounded a warning like a factory siren. The shutter fired and the flash blazed. "Ooooh," said the Wabbit, blinking. "Aaagh," said Lapinette rubbing her eyes. Just as before, the camera whirred, gurgled and sloshed. Then as it clicked, a print floated down and the Wabbit grabbed the bottom corner. "What the Binky?" he murmured. Lapinette blinked and strained to see. An arch enemy, a hated Agent of Rabit, glared directly from the image. The Wabbit turned to check where he really was - and caught sight of an Agent who speedily faded into thin air. "Oh look," said Lapinette. "Now the Agent is disappearing from the photo too." The Wabbit shrugged. "He should come back in a second." He glanced behind once more, then back to the photo. But both Agent and image had gone. They waited some time and had several coffees, but nothing reappeared. The Wabbit suddenly seized the camera, took a picture of himself and passed the print to Lapinette. His image disappeared then reappeared. Lapinette did the same. "OK," said the Wabbit and pinched himself to make sure he was still around. "So where's the bad guy gone?" They stared at the camera ...

2. The Wabbit and the Unstable Image

The Wabbit took the camera to a nearby restaurant to examine it in the light. In the cosy company of his fellow diners, he looked it up and down. He pressed every switch and turned every knob. He took the battery out, scraped the terminals and put it back. Finally he whacked the camera on his table. But no matter what he tried, nothing happened. "Oh." said the Wabbit. He made a sound between his 28 teeth that was partly annoyance but mostly disappointment. Just as he'd given up, he heard familiar footsteps and knew it was Lapinette. So he looked over the rail and called down. "I'm up here in the carrot section!" Lapinette looked up and waved. It was a formidable restaurant, world famous for its slow-cooked carrots - and they both met there with monotonous regularity. At that moment the camera whirred, jumped and span out over the rail. Its lens cover popped open and the flash went off, just like the first time. The Wabbit blinked. Now all he could see was a glaring white rectangle. The camera made the same sloshing sound as before, then it gurgled, clicked and ejected a snapshot. The Wabbit made a swipe and grabbed it. There was Lapinette staring out of the photo. Suddenly her image vanished as if it had never been there. The Wabbit rubbed the print with a paw. It was a little damp and smelled of bleach. The Wabbit puzzled as he watched Lapinette's image gradually fade back into the picture but he could hear Lapinette yelling. "Wabbit! Wabbit!"  She was waving something she'd caught in her paw. "Wabbit, you dropped your camera ..!"

1. The Wabbit and the Photo Converto

The Wabbit was on his way home but when he noticed the carousel, he felt like taking a photo. The Wabbit was seldom ready for such an opportunity. Nevertheless, he delved into his fur and salvaged an old camera he'd modified. Although it had never been successful, he'd kept it just the same and with a smile he switched it on. To his surprise, it stirred and whirred into action. The Wabbit regarded the camera with suspicion since it had never ever worked before. He looked quizzically down the lens. Suddenly the flash discharged with a blinding light. "Aasaagh," blinked the Wabbit. His eyes were yellower than the yolks of a dozen eggs. The Wabbit looked to see what the camera had done. But he couldn't find a thing. Suddenly there was a sloshing sound and a chemical smell. Then three clicks. A print popped out from the camera's rear cover and floated down to the wet cobbles. "Some kind of selfie!" chortled the Wabbit. His humour was short lived. The photograph changed to sepia, then negative. For three seconds it polarised and solarised. Rain soaked into the paper. He watched his image momentarily disappear from the picture, and instantly return. The Wabbit searched frantically in his fur for tweezers. With enormous care he gripped the snapshot by a corner and dropped it into a plastic bag. "There more to this than meets the eye," he murmured ...

The Wabbit and his Adventure Caffè

The Wabbit was late. It was a new caffè and he just couldn't find it. Wabsworth ushered him in. "We're in the back room, everything's laid out." Skratch the Cat waved his cat letters. "They fell off in the night!" Lapinette beckoned for a waiter to bring glue and pinned a flower behind her ear. "What was that for a sort of adventure, I really can't recall." Wabsworth was ready. "It was an oneiric adventure." The Wabbit nodded his head, swayed his ears and looked directly at Skratch. "Oneirics is your territory, feline one." Lapinette butted in. "One of us had a nightmare, because they felt they could not accomplish a task." She stared at the Wabbit but spoke to Wabsworth. "You don't dream of course, being an android." Wabsworth shuffled his feet. "I ... am able to create a trance-like episode that is dream proximal." He threw a meaningful glance at the Wabbit and got one back. Now Skratch became impatient. "A dream in a film moves the protagonists across suppressed or hidden boundaries." Lapinette said, "Ah." She tucked her legs under the bar stool and looked slowly around. At last her gaze fell on the Wabbit, "Sleeping well, Wabbit?" The Wabbit wore a deadpan expression. "Like a dog." His attempt at a diversion went nowhere. Lapinette's gaze kept travelling and settled on Wabsworth. "It's you. You tried to help the Wabbit sleep, by successful-ising his dreams." "If only I could," sighed Wabsworth. He laughed quietly to himself. "That would be a dream come true ..."
[Oneiric: pertaining to dreams]

9. The Wabbit's Door of Perception

Wabsworth watched the Wabbit materialise in the cemetery. The full code notebook was tucked into his fur and, on his head, Jenny's pirate hat took the show. Wabsworth was the Wabbit's android double so he knew pretty much all there was to know about the Wabbit. So he spoke quietly. "What can you see, Commander?" The Wabbit's gaze couldn't let the object go but he managed a shrug. "Perfection." Wabsworth waited some time. He watched a leaf glide lazily past the Wabbit's head and heard him suddenly speak. "This is your dream, isn't it, Wabsworth?" Wabsworth nodded and shuffled his feet. The Wabbit stared again because he could see everything that had ever been and everything that was to come. He smiled. "I guess what I'm seeing is real enough." Wabsworth smiled too. "The cemetery, the writers, the code, the ghosts and indeed this mission are also real." The Wabbit didn't ask why, because he didn't need to. "What about the green door?" Now Wabsworth emerged from behind the gravestone. "That's your door, not mine. What kind of door was it?" The Wabbit thought hard. "A door that looked as if it shouldn't be there." Wabsworth chortled. "That sounds like your kind of door." "The other side of the green door must be here," said the Wabbit. "I want to look for it." He removed the hat with relief. Wabsworth sighed long and hard. "I'll help you," he said, "but we won't find it." The Wabbit sat down in the sun for a nap. "It was passable so it's possible." Wabsworth heard the Wabbit snoring. It was time to hop quietly away.

8. The Wabbit and his Point of View

The hat span towards the Wabbit and the Wabbit watched it spin. But everything moved slowly. Skratch's three heads were shouting. "Catch the hat." Energy from the blue blast coursed through his body and the Wabbit's fur felt electric. Somewhere to his right, Jenny covered groans with curses. He slowly held up a paw and looked at it. It pulsed with a cold blue light. Time stopped. The Wabbit wondered whether he could start it again and flexed his paw to see what would happen. The hat started to spin slowly and Jenny's curses sounded like they needed new batteries. The Wabbit flexed his paw twice. The hat froze. All was silent. Ghosts eddied around him but they couldn't touch him. Again the Wabbit flexed his paw and now the hat was coming at him fast. Skratch's voice was a high pitched wail. "Your piece of the code! Put it in the hat." But the hat flashed past the Wabbit's head. Jenny caught it and flung it at the Wabbit. The Wabbit grabbed. Suddenly he had the hat, but it was as slippery as a wet bar of soap and it wriggled away. The Wabbit held up his paw and its glow bathed the hat in blue light. The hat flopped lifelessly to the deck. Jenny was calling. "Put on the hat, Wabbit." The Wabbit stooped and picked it up. He tucked his piece of the code into the lining with the others. Then he carefully placed the hat on his head ...

7. Skratch and the Three Head Leap

Skratch the Cat was used to heights, but he didn't appreciate any help. He went with the blast anyway and wrapped a sinewy limb around a rope. Then he swayed to and fro and took in the view. Jenny had vanished down a ladder and he'd lost sight of the Wabbit. Eddies of air snaked towards him and tore at his fur like piranhas. One by one his cat lettering plunged deckwards and even though he kicked and clawed, he could do nothing to stop his piece of the code escaping his grip. "Pesky ghosts!" hissed Skratch. It was a bit of luck that it fluttered past one of his two extra heads. A single cat snap rescued the code. Skratch purred gently but it was a moment's luxury. He let go of the rope and in free fall, dodged the ghostly eddies and took back the code. His other head was gazing at something and through its eyes, Skratch saw the Wabbit in the midst of a blue blast. They looked one and the same. Skratch caught a rope and paused for a moment and thought, "Who's dream is in charge?" A voice seemed to speak. "Only the Wabbit has nightmares like this." Now he could see Jenny in a corner of the half deck. The strange air was around her like a swarm of bees and he heard Jenny curse as they ripped her hat from her grasp. Skratch's heads spat as one. He let go of the rope and with a single leap, pounced onto the lower deck. Ninety feline teeth snicked as they fastened on Jenny's hat ...

6. Jenny and the Ghostly Blast

The blast took them by surprise. It was all the more sudden since it arrived without warning of sound. But the shock wave sent Jenny spiralling down into the ship and she cursed as her automatic and her hook clattered down the ladder. Then she caught sight of the Wabbit's reflection. He was sailing through the air in an elegant trajectory and appeared to be coping. Jenny looked away and back. Skratch was waving and yelling something about the code but she couldn't quite make it out. Then she felt something tugging at her coat. Whatever it was, the thing grabbed her hat and threw it at the bulkhead - so she tried to bat it away. "No-one touches my hat!" she yelled. There was nothing to be seen. Just a disturbance in the air like heat on a tarmac road. But it was there all right, grasping and groping Jenny with invisible fingers. "You scurvy, jelly-boned apology for a piece of a ghost!" shouted Jenny. The spectre replied by trying to detach her boots. Jenny kicked it to no avail and looked up again. Now she saw the Wabbit waving and pointing and she realised what it was. She reached into one of the many coat pockets and touched her part of the codex with a paw. The spectral claws loosened. Then she heard a drawn out sound like the dying gurgle of a drowning pirate. The thing seemed to draw back and she was free to tumble. Jenny hit the deck and rolled into a corner and mumbled to herself. "I'm in one of the Wabbit's nightmares ..."

5. The Wabbit and the Dream Ship

Skratch watched the Wabbit thrust the page into his fur - but was unprepared for what happened next. The ground was swaying, but not the same ground. These were the planks of a sail ship. Skratch watched the Wabbit carefully because he seemed nonplussed. He let his two extra cat heads float off for an extra look around. Wood groaned and canvas flapped but under all that noise, Jenny's voice was unmistakable. "I'll have no interlopers in my dreams." Skratch saw the Wabbit pull the codex page from his fur. "This is no ordinary dream, Jenny." From behind Jenny's back, a snick of a safety catch echoed along the deck,  "I can't be sure you're the Wabbit." Skratch smiled as the Wabbit shrugged. "OK. You are the Wabbit," snapped Jenny, "I didn't see you salute the ensign." "We're all in a dream," said the Wabbit. "Tell me about it," sighed Jenny. "Thieves took a secret code," hissed the Wabbit. "We have the missing page." A sudden impact rocked the craft and Jenny's voice barked commands. "Battle stations! Prepare to repel boarders." The Wabbit turned to look. "What ships' armaments do we have?" It was Jenny's turn to shrug. "Broadside cannons." Skratch knew the Wabbit had hoped for more but heard him speak clearly. "Let them think we're stupid." Another violent blow shook the hull. Jenny bellowed. "Give them a volley. Aim too high." Waves rocked the ship as cannonballs dropped aimlessly. The Wabbit tore the code in three, then gave Jenny and Skratch a piece each. "Now what?" asked Jenny. "We wait," shrugged the Wabbit.

4. The Wabbit and the Missing Page

Skratch took the Wabbit aside. At that moment, rays of light shot through the trees to paint dappled shadows on the Wabbit's ears. Skratch handed over a single page of an old manuscript. "With your permission, I'll tell the story." The Wabbit scrutinised the parchment and turned it over. "The occupants of the cemetery ..." Skratch had hardly begun when the Wabbit interrupted. "Spirits." Skratch nodded his heads. "These are rather famous spirits with lot of time at their disposal." He paused for effect, but the Wabbit didn't look up from the page, so he went on. "Writers and philosophers all, they collaborated on a codex that would open the Gates of Perception. "Most unwise," muttered the Wabbit and he flipped the page over again. "Eventually," meowed Skratch. "that's what they thought too. So they removed this vital page and hid it." Only now did the Wabbit look up. "When was the codex stolen?" Skratch thought the Wabbit far too sharp for his own good and placed a cautionary paw across his shoulder. "Stolen last week." he sighed. The Wabbit shrugged annoyingly. "The Codex is worthless without this page." He shrugged again. "So whoever took it will be back." "And they'll be looking for that page," said Skratch, "... which is now yours." At last the Wabbit's 28 teeth assembled into a grin. He rolled up the page and shoved it deep into his fur. "First they have to find us ..."

3. Skratch and the Astral Plane

The voice came from the old graveyard. Tombs lay in dense undergrowth and they ventured in. Skratch hovered slightly above the ground and seemed quite content. "I'm on the astral plane," he purred. "I did not summon you." The Wabbit felt slightly vexed. "You're dreaming," he with a shortness that surprised Lapinette. "No, I was meditating," meowed Skratch, "and now I'm in touch with everyone in this cemetery." Lapinette butted in. "Why have you got three heads?" Skratch nodded them all. "I met Cerberus and we got chatting about heads and numbers." The Wabbit became impatient. "Why are we here?" Skratch's left head nodded. "You, Wabbit have to perform a task." The Wabbit shook his head vigorously. (He had only one and felt it quite enough.) "Who says?" he snapped. Skratch's three heads bobbed. "The occupants of the graveyard." The Wabbit scowled.  "I have enough managers," he said. "Let them talk to the Department." "Skratch's heads meowed all at the same time. "I'm afraid they insist on you, Wabbit." "And what if I remain untasked?" asked the Wabbit. Skratch hissed three times. "Then I'm afraid we all remain here." The Wabbit thought hard and his nose twitched. "What about you, Wabsworth?" Wabsworth groaned. "I don't think I can cope with a three headed Skratch for long." "OK," said the Wabbit. "You Lapinette?" "Let's see what they want," smiled Lapinette and she waved at Skratch's heads. The Wabbit shrugged. "Maybe three heads are better than one ..."

2. The Wabbit and the Sadness of War

Wabsworth and the Wabbit followed the soft haunting voice. "It's Lapinette! said Wabsworth. "What is that song?" "Shhh," said the Wabbit. They listened. Wabsworth touched the Wabbit gently. "La Locomotiva," said the Wabbit finally. He looked up and down the rows of anonymous graves and with a sad shake of his head, he murmured, "the flowers of the forest are a weed awa'." Wabsworth decided to stay quiet but he studied the scene. Then he spoke. "Are we are in Lapinette's dream - or is she in ours?" The Wabbit was entirely uncertain. "Should we disturb her?" whispered Wabsworth. The sun filtered through the trees and shadows sharpened. Suddenly Lapinette turned. "How did you get here?" "You're dreaming," said the Wabbit. Lapinette scrutinised them both from head to toe. "You look real enough to me." The Wabbit smiled pleasantly. "Look at your paws." Lapinette gazed down. She could see through them, so she reached out and gingerly touched a gravestone. Her paw passed through it as if it was air. But the more she stared, the more substantial her paws became. Eventually she was solid. The Wabbit sighed with relief and explained. "I came though a green door into Wabsworth's dream routine." Lapinette was pleased to be opaque and became chirpy. "Is it possible we're in a collective dream?" "A collective dream is a movie," said a grave voice ...
[La Locomotiva: revolutionary song about a train driver by Francesco Guccini
Flowers of the Forest: Ancient Scottish bagpipe tune commemorating the Battle of Flodden]

1. The Wabbit behind the Green Door

Wabsworth, the Wabbit's android double, was dreaming for the very first time and found himself hopping in a quiet graveyard. He felt a peace he had never experienced and was smiling to himself, when he heard the crunch of gravel. "Wabbit!" sighed Wabsworth. "What on earth are you doing here?" The Wabbit materialised and waved tentatively. "I'm afraid I broke in." He noticed Wabsworth's quizzical look and shrugged. "I broke in through the green door." A few translucent leaves fell. "You're in my dream," said Wabsworth, "and my dream doesn't have a green door." The Wabbit shook his head and held up a paw. "I scraped my paw and it's green and it hurts. So this can't be your dream." "I didn't dream a green door," insisted Wabsworth. The Wabbit ignored this and looked around at names on gravestones. Some of them he knew had passed on and he felt sorry. Then he spotted a few who hadn't but he rather wished they had. The Wabbit puzzled a bit then addressed Wabsworth. "I came through a door from the street." Wabsworth rummaged under his fur to switch off his dream. But nothing happened. Wabsworth's teeth set rigid. The Wabbit took pity. "Well since we're here, we'll have a look around." Wabsworth's face lit up. "It's well tended, maybe there's a caretaker." The sound of footsteps on gravel broke the silence and the Wabbit grabbed Wabsworth's shoulder. "We'll take cover and watch." Then they heard a familiar voice ...

The Wabbit and Boredom

The Wabbit hunched in front of his favourite door. The sign said it was a school, but he had never seen anyone go in or out. So if he was bored he would stand in the street and wonder about it. "What's really behind the green door?" he thought. This kept him occupied for a full five minutes until he got restless. He stomped his feet a little. The Wabbit was between missions, a place he didn't like to be. He preferred to be in the thick of things, not the thin of things. No creature he knew got as bored as he. They all went on vacation or pursued a favourite hobby. Wabsworth his android double liked to bathe in a spa in the hills and return smelling of sulphur. Lapinette went to the furdressers and it took all day, sometimes two. Skratch the Cat attended week long movie marathons and emerged blinking through rectangular eyes. That wasn't to say the Wabbit hadn't tried. He'd taken up several pastimes, few of which had been successful. His jigsaws always missed a vital piece which he later found clinging to his fur. In an attempt at a giant collage, he found himself permanently glued to a table. His sallies into motor sport did, however, meet with success. But they were usually marred by some incident. In a cross country motorcycle trial he was well ahead but pitched into a hole with his scrambler on top of him. There he remained for some time until spotted. The Wabbit thought and thought and thought. Then it came to him in a flash. "Thinking is a hobby!"

The Wabbit's Adventure Caffè

"Here it is!" Lapinette was delighted with her new find. The Wabbit grinned a lopsided grin. "But there's Wabsworth in your new caffè." Lapinette sighed. "You can't keep anything a secret," A red reflection glistened momentarily in the wet street and a loud purr announced Skratch the Cat. "What a pleasant surprise!" he meowed, "I was going to visit the cats of Rome. But I can do that tomorrow." The Wabbit gestured for prosecco and tramezzini all round. Wabsworth rose for Lapinette to take a seat and turned to Skratch. "What was that for a kind of adventure?" Skratch warmed his paws. "I've been thinking about it," he purred. "It was a reconstructivist post modernism, which transcended iconic representation." Lapinette hid a smirk and sat down.  "Archetypal revisioning," she said firmly. Now the Wabbit sat down and shrugged.  "I thought it was about movies." "Quite right," said Wabsworth, "a post-ecodical trauma unfolded." "With us in it," smiled Skratch. "Can you dig it?" repeated the Wabbit. "Diggin' dystopia?" laughed Lapinette. "Sounds like a possible musical," murmured Skratch and he made a note in his fur. The Wabbit's tummy rumbled loudly so Lapinette handed him a sandwich. "Thanks," said the Wabbit, rubbing his stomach. "I seem to have to have a touch of dystopia."
[tramezzino: a triangular sandwich in Italy, From tra (between) and mezzo (middle)]

9. The Wabbit and the Homeward Run

"We're back!" said Lapinette,"we're safe." She glanced at the ragged edge of her frock, then looked up. Quantum the Train flashed across the sky and was gone. Skratch laughed in a sardonic way. "We went through all that - to end up here?" Wabsworth thrust a paw into damp fur. "I like travelling." The Wabbit stood in the drizzle and let the rain wash his fur. It felt good. A normal moon peered through a normal sky. Skratch stretched tall.  He shook water from his coat and thrust out his chest. Lapinette skiffed a foot through the puddles. "What about the Blood Collectors?" "They're real gone," said Skratch, "so adios." Wabsworth laughed. "Can you dig it?" The rain got heavier but no-one moved. They all stood still and got wet. "I dig the rain," said the Wabbit. "That's our bridge," said Lapinette. Skratch boxed with his paws. "This - is our turf." Wabsworth thought for a minute and his circuits whirred. "There's always another gang, isn't there?" Lapinette looked at the Wabbit and waited. "What we have, we hold," said the Wabbit. He looked up at the normal moon and it seemed to speak. "Welcome back, Wabbit. You saved your planet." They screwed up their eyes and looked for a face in the moon, but they could only see craters. "Have a nice day," said the normal moon, Then it vanished. The rain stopped. The sky became lighter. They looked at each other and suddenly a giant smile lit up the Wabbit's face. "Now let's go home," he said gently.