Friday, May 10, 2013

The Wabbit from The Inspectorate

"Cardinal Lapin I presume?" winked the Wabbit and he waved his credentials vigorously. "This is an official Blue Cross prison inspection." Cardinal Lapin knew the Wabbit very well indeed. He had taught him a few tricks in the past, so he knew that a trick was afoot. "Welcome, my son," he said gravely. "Do you wish anything particularly particular?" The Wabbit noticed shadows coming down the stairs and ignored the sinister shuffling noise they made. "Prison food rations?" he asked. "Edible," said Cardinal Lapin. "Reading material? asked the Wabbit. "Tutto Sport only," said the Cardinal. "Air Conditioning," continued the Wabbit. "Leaky," came the reply. "Tut tut," said the Wabbit. He pretended to make a note, then lifted his head. "Medicine?" he snapped. "Crude generics" said Lapin. "Is your mail reaching you?" growled the Wabbit. "Edited," said Lapin. The Wabbit shook his head like a donkey and wrote down "censored." "Recreational access?" asked the Wabbit loudly, smiling. "Not much," said Lapin. "I want to see the area," said the Wabbit. "Then follow me," said Cardinal Lapin and he retraced his steps upstairs. The Wabbit watched the shadows turn and follow him. So he assumed a nonchalant air, whistled Me and my Shadows through his 28 teeth - and hopped after them.