They lost sight of the Phantoms as they
crossed the bridge and as they walked beside the river they felt a sudden
chill. "It's happening, it's happening!" screeched Ghost Bunny.
"What's happening?" shivered the Wabbit. Ghost Bunny shivered too.
"This is how they do it," she moaned. Now the Wabbit was very cold
and he grunted again. "Spit it out, Ghost Bunny!" Ghost Bunny wailed
frantically. "They're looking for energy and when they find it, they'll
take it." The Wabbit clapped his paws for heat and grunted again.
"Then they convert it and their planet glows blue." continued Ghost
Bunny. "I wish you'd tell us the whole story, Ghost Bunny," said Lapinette.
"I feel rather in the dark." "The Phantoms worship their sun and
continually feed it," sighed Ghost Bunny. "They rampage their
constellation for loot." "We're too far away for that," scoffed
the Wabbit. "Well, they must be desperate," replied Ghost Bunny and
she haunted up and down for some time. "What are they looking for
exactly?" asked the Wabbit. "Primeval atoms," said Ghost Bunny.
"But they don't really exist, do they?" said Lapinette. "Oh
they do, they do!" moaned Ghost Bunny. "Then what do they look
like?" asked the Wabbit, stamping his feet. "They're about the size
of a ..." Ghost Bunny thought for a second. "Tangerine?"
suggested Lapinette.
Wednesday, February 05, 2014
Monday, February 03, 2014
7. The Wabbit and the Manifestation
The Wabbit was hot, his brain was hot and his gun was hot. At this precise juncture, there was little about the Wabbit that was cool. The temperature rose steadily as Lapinette, Ghost Bunny and the Wabbit toured the city for the Orange Phantoms without success. But as they climbed the old stairs to the ancient monastery, they suddenly materialised. Phantoms wafted down the steps wihout so much as by your leave and the Wabbit growled under his breath. "Halt!" he shouted, but nothing happened. Nothing whatsoever. Except that the Phantoms kept coming. "Hold onto your fur!" shouted Ghost Bunny and braced herself as they marched closer and closer and passed straight through everyone. "Ooooh," said Lapinette, "that felt clammy hot." "I hate that," said Ghost Bunny. "Good grief," muttered the Wabbit. "They're not the slightest bit interested in us." "Are you upset?" laughed Lapinette. "Not at all," said the Wabbit. "No offence taken. I guess shooting them won't work then?" Ghost Bunny shook her head. "They like energy." "I could use some myself," said the Wabbit wearily. "I suppose we'd better follow them," suggested Lapinette. "How long can you follow an orange?" asked the Wabbit. Lapinette smiled. "Until they run out of juice."
Friday, January 31, 2014
6. The Wabbit & the Orange Phantoms
The Wabbit relayed Skratch's information
about the Orange Sun and Ghost Bunny said "I told you so." "Told
me what?" The Wabbit was discourteous when he got really hot. "I told
you about Planet HD 62509b." wailed Ghost Bunny. Now the Wabbit was flummoxed. "Why can't they give planets sensible names!" he shouted. "Like Luigi," offered Lapinette, who was familiar with the Wabbit's fits of annoyance. "Perhaps the Planet of Phantoms isn't good enough for you," moaned Ghost Bunny, who was also getting annoyed. "Oh sorry everyone," said the Wabbit, "I need some shade." Lapinette looked around for shade before the Wabbit became furious. "What about down there? "she suggested. Then she paused. "What's up?" asked the Wabbit. "I don't suppose these phantoms are orange?" Lapinette pointed vaguely downwards. "Of course they're orange," snapped Ghost Bunny, "what colour do you think they should be?" "Then they're already here," sighed Lapinette. The Wabbit summoned the strength to shrug. "Are they dangerous?" Ghost Bunny moaned and blanched in fright. The Wabbit didn't know ghosts could turn pale so he tried to soothe her. "Orange Phantoms," he said pithily. "At least we can 'peel 'em." "Pip-squeaks," smiled Lapinette.
Wednesday, January 29, 2014
5. Skratch the Cat and the Two Suns
Skratch stood on the platform at Santa Maria del Monte and watched the city as instructed. But it was so hot he switched his radio to paws-free and rested it on a wall. The radio crackled. Skratch put a paw across his eyes and purred gently without much energy. "Receiving, go ahead." "What can you see from up there?" The Wabbit's voice was terse and Skratch matched it. "Does two suns sound normal to you, Wabbit?" There was a hissing and it wasn't the radio. "Only on Kepler 2b and it 600 light years away!" The Wabbit sounded bad tempered and Skratch wanted to join him. "Well frankly, one sun looks a bit like an orange." "I don't like oranges," said the Wabbit. "I can't stand them myself," replied Skratch. The radio went silent for some time and then suddenly burst into life. "Even the radio's bad-tempered," thought Skratch. The Wabbit's voice was hoarse. "Can you see any tangerines?" "I can see small orange things approaching the second sun," observed Skratch. "How do you know it's the second and not the first?" The Wabbit sounded exasperated. "It's got no clouds across it," groaned Skratch, "how hot is it down there?" The radio crackled again. "I saw a chicken lay an omelet."
Monday, January 27, 2014
4. The Wabbit & the Wayward Tangerine
When Ghost Bunny and the Wabbit reached Pluto Park they were broiling in the heat of the sun. Lapinette waved
across the tram tracks. "Hello, hello! It's just too darn hot to
mention." "We're having a heat wave," said the Wabbit and he
juggled some tangerines that he's found in the street. "A tropical heat
wave," added Ghost Bunny. Lapinette picked up more tangerines and threw
them at the Wabbit and the Wabbit included them in his juggle. "Where did
all the tangerines come from?" asked Lapinette. "They must have
dropped off the back of a lorry," said the Wabbit and he threw one
tangerine quite high. But the tangerine didn't drop, it kept going. "Come
back!" shouted the Wabbit and he tried to grab it. But it eluded his grasp
and sailed off. "You don't see that every day," said Lapinette,
picking up more tangerines. "There's something fishy about this,"
wailed Ghost Bunny. She floated after the tangerine, observed it closely and
then returned. "It's not coming back," she whispered. "I
wouldn't normally care," said the Wabbit, who generally avoided citrus
things. "But now I'm hot and bothered and taking things to heart."
"It's not personal," said Ghost Bunny. "It's being drawn by an
unknown force." "What would attract a tangerine?" mused Lapinette. One by one they looked skywards.
Friday, January 24, 2014
3. The Wabbit and the Big Heat
The Wabbit thought little more about the planet from the Gemini Constellation, but something unsettled him and he couldn't sleep. So he went for an early walk to greet the rosy-fingered dawn. On his way he bumped into Ghost Bunny who was fluttering down Corso Francia on her way to Pluto Park. "Hauntingly hot, Wabbit," she moaned. She reached out and pulled a pair of sunglasses from the Wabbit's fur, then put them on. "I'm baking," said the Wabbit. They both looked up and the Wabbit shielded his eyes. "Did you hear about the planet from Pollux?" he ventured. Ghost Bunny looked quizzical under her glasses. "Do tell," she wailed softly. The Wabbit grinned. "A planet broke orbit and it's supposed to be headed here." Ghost Bunny blinked. "What colour planet, do you know?" "It looks like an orange," said the Wabbit. There was a silence and the Wabbit saw that Ghost Bunny was trembling. "Danger danger!" she shrieked suddenly. The Wabbit was surprised because he knew that nothing frightened Ghost Bunny with the exception of Puma. "How close is it?" asked Ghost Bunny. "Not too far," smiled the Wabbit. "Aaaaaaaagh," shrieked Ghost Bunny. "Red alert!" The Wabbit raised an eye. "It's planet HD 62509b," she explained. "We call it the Planet of Phantoms ..."
Wednesday, January 22, 2014
2. The Wabbit and a Star called Pollux
There wasn't much on the Wabbit's desk except for a small disk marked "View immediately without delay." So he hopped to a small cinema in Via Nizza where he had an arrangement. The Wabbit sprawled in his seat and rustled a copy of Popular Astronomy that he had bought on a whim at the railway station. "The Milky Way!" boomed a voice, "a spiral just like the shell of the common snail." The Wabbit looked at his magazine and yawned. "Tell us something we don't know." The voice boomed again. "What you don't know is that a planet from the Gemini constellation has broken orbit and is heading this way." "It looks like an orange," snorted the Wabbit. "It looks rather like an orange," continued the voice. "And it formerly orbited the K-type star, Pollux." The Wabbit suddenly paid attention. "Castor and Pollux," he breathed. "The seamen's friends." He put down his magazine and stared at the screen. "Where's Gemini?" The voice sighed. "Where it usually is. Right ascension 07h 45m 18.94987s. Declination +28° 01′ 34.3160." "And how far away is the object now?" hissed the Wabbit. "20 light years and closing, Commander." The Wabbit sniffed. "And how long is a bit of string?" "Twice as long as half the length," said the voice.
Monday, January 20, 2014
1. The Wabbits head Home
"Everything ship-shape?" asked Lapinette. The Wabbit's jeep was perfectly safe on the Streets of New York and had even been given a wash, so he leaned back. "You drive," he said." "Then you get dinner," replied Lapinette. "Deal," said the Wabbit. "And I don't mean Menu of the Day," said Lapinette firmly. "I want a treat with tablecloths and napkins and different sized glasses." "OK," agreed the Wabbit, rummaging in his fur for lunch vouchers. Lapinette crashed the jeep into gear. "How are the others getting back?" The jeep lurched forward as the Wabbit thought for a second and counted on his paw. "Puma's on public transport. Moloch's using his 7 league boots, Wabsworth and Skratch are in Turbina the Jet Car." Lapinette frowned. "What about Robot?" The Wabbit shook his head. "He has another football match." Lapinette turned on the radio. A frantic sports commentator listed team line-ups in a nasally voice. Lapinette switched the radio off. "What are we going to do for our next adventure?" she asked. "I'm sure there's something waiting on my desk," said the Wabbit. "I feel it in my waters." Lapinette suppressed a smile. "Do you want me find out? I'll radio Ledger, back at base." "It'll keep," snapped the Wabbit quickly. Lapinette smirked. "It's 700 kilometers to Turin." "Are we there yet?" said the Wabbit.
Friday, January 17, 2014
The Adventure Caffè at Cinecittà
"Can I say it, can I say it, can I say it?" Moloch's voice boomed from the back. The Wabbit glanced at Skratch the Cat and Skratch nodded his approval. Moloch cleared his throat and spread his considerable arms. "What was that for a kind of adventure?" he yelled. Lapinette shook her ears. "It was just a story." Skratch thrust himself forward. "Just a story?" he snorted. "Stories are the life blood of ..." Skratch paused because he couldn't think what to say next. "Existence?" suggested the Wabbit. Wabsworth rapped the table for attention and addressed Lapinette. "There are more things in heaven and earth, Lapinette, than are dreamt of in your morphology." Skratch applauded. "Well put Wabsworth!" The Wabbit also rapped the table. "That was a pastiche of Cabiria, a Turin product and the best silent film ever made." "Oh was Cabiria a film?" said Moloch. "I could have sworn it was real." "That's the whole point," said Skratch, "and by the way, where are the aperitivi?" "Moloch was supposed to get them," said the Wabbit, turning. "I'm a bit short," said Moloch. "Could you lend me 50 euro until Friday?" "It is Friday," smiled Lapinette. And they all laughed and laughed and laughed.
Wednesday, January 15, 2014
16. The Wabbit and the Incarceration
Monday, January 13, 2014
15.The Wabbit & the Flying Munitions
Friday, January 10, 2014
14. The Wabbit runs into Trouble
Monday, January 06, 2014
13. The Wabbit sets out his Stall
The Wabbit set out his stall carefully and started to shout. "Free valuations. We buy gold!" A snickering echoed from the walls as the Agents of Rabit drew close. "All welcome," said the Wabbit. "Best prices paid." He gestured to his display of rings and nodded several times. He noticed that one Agent was clutching a large ring and he smiled nonchalantly. "Never knowingly oversold," he chuckled. "If you can find a higher price than mine, I'll refund you the original price plus half the difference." An Agent held a ring aloft. "This is worth more than you can ever pay!" he shouted. The Wabbit smiled again in a most irritating fashion. "How much do you think it's worth, squire?" "A kings ransom," yelled the Agent. "Kings are out of fashion," grinned the Wabbit. "Quite worthless. I'll give you a gazillion." The Agents huddled to discuss the matter, while the Wabbit pretended to smooth his fur. "We're thinking about it," said the leading Agent. "I need to examine the goods," said the Wabbit. "Pass the ring over here." The Agent approached the Wabbit's stall and the Wabbit passed his paw over the ring and uttered "Sim sala bim." "What does that mean?" said the Agent. "It means look up at the sky!" smiled the Wabbit. As the Agent looked up, the Wabbit dropped the ring into his fur and substituted another." I'm afraid your ring is fake," frowned the Wabbit.
Saturday, January 04, 2014
12. The Wabbit and Android Recovery
Thursday, January 02, 2014
11. The Wabbit and the Big Bang
"Look out Wabsworth." Lapinette
screamed at the top of her voice but her words were drowned by a detonation and
she watched helplessly as Wabsworth spiralled skyward. The Wabbit loped towards
the source of the explosion but he could hardly see for dust. "Wabsworth!"
he shouted and he kicked debris from right to left. "Get down
Wabbit," yelled Skratch. "There might be another one." But no more explosions came and gradually the dust settled. Lapinette picked small
wood splinters from her fur and cursed silently. Skratch gripped his automatic
fiercely and looked desperately for something to shoot. The Wabbit glanced all
around but of Wabsworth there was not the slightest sign. He sniffed the air and twitched his nose and sniffed again.
"Curious," he muttered. "He can't just disappear into thin air." Lapinette
coughed and blew dust from her nose. "The air's not so thin, Wabbit," grimaced Skratch as tears streamed down his face and matted his fur. Acrid
fumes drifted across the insubstantial buildings and they all rubbed their eyes. Suddenly the air cleared and the Wabbit thought he heard a rustling sound. "I'm sure I heard something," said Lapinette. "So did I," said Skratch. Then they all looked up.
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