7. The Wabbit and a Ghost in the Machine

Every time the Wabbit visited, Hardhack has a new configuration. Where the cash for all this came from was a mystery and few dared ask. The air smelled of electricity and plastic. A multitude of fans whirred. Hardhack came scampering out from a back room and he was excited. "Is that it?" he yelled. "It's a long time since I've seen one." Lapinette wrinkled her nose. "I think it's 1992." Hardhack sniffed it long and hard. "No vinegar, no mouldy socks. No cow on the ice." Lapinette pointed. "Kin you play it?" Hardhack looked at the label. "PAL or SEECAM?" "Both," smiled the Wabbit. Hardhack took hold of the tape. "Careful," said the Wabbit, "Politis protocols are active." Hardhack fingered it gently and hummed to himself. "Can you extract and make safe the encoded information?" asked the Wabbit. "If I can't, no-one can." Hardhack smirked. "I have to bake it in a furnace." He disappeared into a back room. Lapinette knew all about this. "Essential," she said. "He can make us a flan at the same time," said the Wabbit. "No-one thinks you're funny," snapped Lapinette. They waited. Hardhack re-appeared. "Into the Light, a film by Kenneth Shanks?" Hardhack strolled up and down. "There's digital encoding. Finicky." The Wabbit nodded. Lapinette scowled. "A flickering chequerboard on the very edge of the video tape. I'm downloading it to my computer array's binary buffer." Hardhack waited for applause but didn't get any. "Now give me the digital coordinates," snapped the Wabbit. 

6. The Wabbit and the Secret in the Box

"I thought the tape was mislaid, Commander!" Wabsworth kept his voice low but it carried nonetheless. The Wabbit groaned. He'd crept into the Department in the early hours to rake through old files. He came across the box quite quickly. It was at the back of his filing cabinet, tucked where no cleaner ever ventured. "Shhh, Wabsworth!" he hissed. Wabsworth hopped down until he was nearly level with the Wabbit. "Is it in there, because the Politis protocols determine certain handling measures?" The Wabbit scowled. "Wabsworth, this is an old and dusty box left by the plumbers. And yes, the tape is in the box. I placed it here so no-one could possible find it." Wabsworth groaned. "With all due respect, Wabbit, your security measures leave a lot to be desired." The Wabbit looked over his shoulder. "No-one knew it was here and if they did it would have exploded on opening." Wabsworth doubted this was true. He hopped down another step. "Where are you taking it?" The Wabbit decided to let Wabsworth in on the secret. "To a place with security measures." "Hardhack Rat?" queried Wabsworth, slapping a paw on his forehead. The Wabbit tapped the box. "He knows stuff. Enough to determine the encoded information." Wabsworth was horrified. "He's not on our staff." "I'm going to take precautions," said the Wabbit. "Get the information then push him out of the window?" laughed Wabsworth. The Wabbit paused. "Not a bad idea." Wabsworth groaned. "You can't go around pushing people out of windows." "Of course not," grinned the Wabbit, "but it's in the protocols."

5. The Wabbit steps Into the Light

The viewing theatre was as scruffy as always. Just the way the Wabbit liked it. He'd invited Lapinette and Wabsworth to his special screening of a documentary called Into the Light. They'd never heard of it. "They'll be prosecco," he said, so they went along for the drinks. The Wabbit waited to introduce the movie. "This will be news to you, but it explains why the Euls appeared and why they were so violent." Lapinette put her paw up. "Who's Kenneth Shanks?" The Wabbit's smile was enormous. "He's our author. He made this film." Wabsworth wanted to be diplomatic, but he felt his power unit drain. "What's so special about it." The Wabbit hopped up and down. "In the original master tape ..." Wabsworth shrugged. "What kind?" "... U-matic," said the Wabbit. "That went out with wind up clocks," laughed Wabsworth. "Pay attention!" yelled the Wabbit. "When the tape was created, certain information was encoded therein." Lapinette giggled. The Wabbit ignored her. "The information concerns the exact parameters of the Department's fail-deadly defence system." Lapinette gasped. Not even a high-ranking Marchesa knew. Nor did an android with memory banks the size of a planet. "Have I got your attention?" asked the Wabbit. They nodded. "The Euls got wind of this?" asked Lapinette. The Wabbit looked grave. "That's why they wanted to capture me." Wabsworth was a step ahead. "Where's the tape, Wabbit?" "That's just it," groaned the Wabbit. "It's mislaid!"

4. The Wabbit recovers at San Saba

Lapinette encouraged the Wabbit to take some time out. Although he was a bit miffed to be set about by Euls, his bruises were fading. He was a little worried about the appearance of old enemies and said so. Lapinette shrugged. "They're probably looking for something to do. Where did you leave them?" The Wabbit laughed. I think it was a cold and distant planet on the edge of the Sombrero galaxy. Haven't seen them in ten years." Lapinette considered the matter. "Time for them to have made their way home." The Wabbit shook his head. "Maybe we should ask the Alien Pilot. He usually knows stuff about inter-Galactic goings and comings." "Where is he?" asked Lapinette. "Lord knows," said the Wabbit. "No, I think he was going to Trappist 1E. Something about an eye reduction." Lapinette grinned. "Down to two?" "Three I think," said the Wabbit. "You can't be too careful where eyes are concerned." Lapinette spoke in a considered way that the Wabbit found delightful. "He'll be a sight for sore eyes." Lapinette groaned. "You're not very funny, Wabbit." The Wabbit knew that already. "I'll get the Department to book a long-distance call." Lapinette mused. "Get Ledger to do it. He's a smooth operator." The Wabbit sang, "His eyes are like angels but his heart is cold." They started to hop down the hill. "Restaurant?" asked Lapinette. "Let's push the boat out," grinned the Wabbit. "Fish then," replied Lapinette.

3. The Wabbit, the Worse for Wear

The Wabbit was dragged across the road by two Euls. He was as surprised to see them as Lapinette. He wasn't hurt but the Euls thought he was. His coat was made of stronger stuff than that. He'd see what they were up to. The Eul smacked him on the face. "Take that, Wabbit! We remember where you sent us. But we're back." The Wabbit had a job remembering where it was he'd sent them. "I know where I sent you and it was better than here." He pretended his voice was weak. The Euls looked at him, puzzled. They were anything but bright. "You're a nobody," said one. "But we're somebodies." The Wabbit pretended to be dazed. "Everyone needs somebody to love," he sang, "Hold, squeeze and please that person." A Eul gave him a shove. The Wabbit bounced from a car. "A gentle caress?" He sagged and folded over. A Eul pulled him up. "No folding!" "Like a bad poker hand?" slurred the Wabbit. He stood on his heels and rocked. "No rocking either," said the other Eul. "Don't knock the rock." He wheeled around and brought his paw up under the first Eul's chin. His other paw squeezed the other in a soft spot. They dropped like stones. But the Wabbit's best assets were his legs. He stomped on both Euls where it hurt. Then he bounded on a car and jumped off onto them. They were silent. He saw Lapinette running from the building and called her. "Do you need a helping paw?" she asked. The Wabbit grinned. "Remember that first aid course I did?" Lapinette snorted. "You hit the instructor." 

2. Lapinette in the Maxxi Museum

Lapinette reached the museum long before the Wabbit. But was she hopped past a window she noticed him approaching on the street. As he turned into the complex, she waved and shouted. "Up here! Join me up here!" She saw him wave back and then make an incomprehensible sign. She waved again. Then he used morse code. "Coming by back way." Lapinette shrugged. The Wabbit has all sorts of deals with museums which usually involved a lot of time. She signalled back. "I wait here." The Wabbit nodded and disappeared. Lapinette went to look at the photos on the wall. After a while she got bored. "Where is he?" She went back to the window and saw what looked like the Wabbit being dragged into a side entrance by a Eul. She hadn't seen a Eul for some time and had assumed they'd died out or were marooned on an inhospitable planet in the Sombrero galaxy. She searched in her frock for a radio but found she's left it on charge in her apartment. She cursed silently and went to look for an attendant. They knew the Wabbit and were generally quite congenial as long as he let them stroke his ears. She shuddered. But she found the door locked. She was stuck on the first floor. She waved through the window again. There was no one in sight. "I can't even get to the restaurant from here." The windows were sheer and unbreakable. "Maybe I can find a way," she muttered. She disappeared into a long dark corridor ...

1. The Wabbit and the Quantum Museum

The Wabbit strolled over the bridge feeling light and easy. He knew the bridge well, if only from above - usually falling. It was a fine day, and he adjusted his fur air conditioning, to a mild 3.5. He was on his way to the Maxxi museum of twenty first century art to meet Lapinette and there he would have a glass of prosecco and a salad sandwich before beginning a quick troll round. The Museum of Enemies flashed across his mind. "These were the days," he thought and smiled to himself. Mounted by the Department, his enemies had gathered to join him in promoting the show. "I haven't seen them for a while," he voiced aloud. For a moment he thought he heard a skuttle. "Just my imagination," he reassured himself. The Tiber flowed peacefully under the bridge and a pleasant breeze ruffled his fur. But there it was again. He thought he heard the squeal of an Ice Mouse and grinned. "They weren't so bad." He knew he was congenial at the expense of time. "Time minds its own damn business," he exclaimed and giggled. Someone had said that - but he couldn't remember who and he didn't care. He hopped his way to the other side. He thought he heard something hopping beside him but there was nothing there, He shrugged. "Just a rabbit on a bridge with nothing on his mind." He thought of his prosecco, laughed and pursued his path to Maxxi.