1. The Wabbit and the Uninvited Bot

The Wabbit hopped along Via Anastasio II. He felt a little sombre and didn't know why. Maybe it was because of the whispering. He'd been hearing it on and off for a while and it bothered him. He tried to shut it out of his mind and succeeded. But then it came back. He decided on a different approach and amplified the volume. Now he could hear it, but it seemed like gibberish. "Buyoo," it said, "Buyoo moochoo. Buyoo moochoo" Then it repeated. It sounded a bit robotic, so he decided to speak to Wabsworth about it and get the android point of view. He knew all about that sort of thing. The voice died away. It was a pleasant day, and the volume of traffic had decreased - so maybe that was why he could hear the noise. Maybe it was tinnitus. He shook his ears. But back the voice came. He thought he'd hum a tune to cover it up and chose "London's burning," by the Clash. But he couldn't hear it properly because the voice was clearer now. More than clear. "Veeseet Lundun, Veeseet Lundun cheep." The Wabbit stopped dead. "It's an advertisement!" He looked behind him and saw a figure that looked like a robot shambling along the road. The arms and legs were long and gangly. It stumbled as it went and looked like it needed to stabilise itself on street furniture. The Wabbit slapped a paw on his forehead. "Now where did I pick you up?" 

The Wabbit's famous Adventure Caffè

The team assembled at the MAXXI museum Caffè. Lapinette was in an ebullient mood. She attached to one of the pillars and scaled it in an instant. Skratch was appalled. "This is a place of high art. Come down at once." The Wabbit grinned. "She's been in a fine adventure and she's only letting off steam!" Lapinette yelled "Victory!" and slid down at great speed. Wabsworth chipped in, "We got the movie, chased down the bad guys, located the coordinates and saved the day." Skratch was bemused, "Who for?" The Wabbit took pleasure in saying it. "Us." Lapinette had returned to normal. "That story was a European tour de force. It foregrounded the signifier at least seven times." Skratch meaowed. "It was but a MacGuffin!" Wabsworth thought that most funny. "If it's good enough for Hitchcock, its good enough for us. Boundaries were blurred between reality and the unconscious." Lapinette bounded in the air. "An inter-semiotic translation!" Skratch wasn't impressed. "The transgression of spatial boundaries is a sure sign of nothing to talk about." He winked at Lapinette. She winked back and re-climbed the pole. "She'll start to speak French again," shrugged the Wabbit. "My forebears were French," she said. "Then where's that rare French wine?" asked Wabsworth. "I have a bottle of Veuve Clicquot 1841 in my frock," replied Lapinette. "Let's see it!" Now the Wabbit was ebullient. Lapinette fluttered her eyes and gave him a come hither glance. "Come and get it!"
 

13. The Wabbit and the Old Tank

Lapinette caught up with the Wabbit and Wabsworth after she'd finished blasting the green things. "Where's that tape, Commander?" said Wabsworth. He liked everything tied up with a pink ribbon. "It's already copied down to digital," said the Wabbit, "We have no need for it no more!" Wabsworth agreed. "It served its purpose and allowed us to intervene. But where are the fail-deadly coordinates?" "Moved and double deeply coded," grinned the Wabbit. Lapinette held up both paws. "I renovated the tank! Watch" The tank recoiled and shot an enormous blast from the cannon. "That'll wake em up!" giggled Lapinette, "Reveillez-vous!" Wabsworth and the Wabbit looked at each other, "Zut alors?" shrugged the Wabbit. Wabsworth shrugged too, just like his Commander. "Shall we have a picnic lunch?" asked the Wabbit. "Where's the food?" enquired Lapinette. The Wabbit plunged a paw into his fur and produced sandwiches, a cake, a picnic basket and the - with the other paw - a jeroboam of chilled champagne. He laid everything on the grass. "Voila!" Lapinette drew an edged weapon from her frock and with a single swipe, cut the cake. "C'est magnifique, mon commandant!" Wabsworth, being an android, could translate into all the known languages in the Universe. But he switched on his food algorithm and uttered a single phrase. "Let's get stuck in!"

12. Lapinette and the Triple Blast

Lapinette crept quietly towards the bay. She could see the green suits there and they didn't notice her. They bent down and scooped radioactive fluid into drums. The smell was grim, like something that crept out of the sewer. She wrinkled her nose. Then she felt in her frock for old standby weapons. The stick grenades clung to her paws. She wiped her paws and spat on them. "Rabbits don't spit," she said to herself. She steadied herself. Put her weight on her back foot. Then with two single smooth movements, she threw the missiles. The first exploded on her right. It showered small pieces of concrete on the green figures. They turned. The second left her paws with a whizzing sound that spelled destruction. They tried to run, but in the bay, it was impossible to get away. One cartwheeled down two flights of steps, another squeezed behind the canisters. "Take that for your trouble you green things!" Her yell penetrated the caverns. There was no response. All she heard was a steady radioactive drip. "Time to be going," she murmured to herself. It was her last grenade. Another blast sealed the bay behind concrete rubble. Not too far away, the Wabbit and Wabsworth hopped down endless tunnels. "Lapinette's cleaning up," smirked the Wabbit, "Putain de merde!" grinned Wabsworth. 

11. The Wabbit and the Masked Creatures

They hopped along a gas-mask lined corridor, glancing from right to left. The Wabbit stopped and pulled a video tape box from his fur. He tucked it under his paw and gritting his 28 teeth, rounded the corner. "That's as far as you go, rabbit." The voice went with the gas-masked figure. It spoke with a heavy rhythmic hiss accompanied by a whoosh, click and flutter. Lapinette pointed her weapon. "Stand down, robotic figure." The figure snarled. "I stand down for no-one." Lapinette stood her ground. Pointed her weapon. "Suit yourself. It will be the worse for you." It was the first time the Wabbit noticed the French accent that came with her growl. "You will give me the box!" The Wabbit smiled in a way that everyone found annoying. "I cannot." "Why not?" The Wabbit paused and touched the grey case. "Did you ever hear the story of the old empty box?" The figure tensed, stem jetting from the mask. "No, I did not." The Wabbit shrugged. "There was nothing in it." The figure lunged forward. "Give me it anyway." Silence hung, broken only by the mask's respirated hiss. "I think I'll keep it," said the Wabbit. He tucked it back in his fur. The figure wheezed, turned, grabbed for it. Lapinette's snaser spat. The figure's suit collapsed, an empty shell on the ground. Rows of vacant masks watched from the shelves. "They're brainstorming," grinned the Wabbit.

10. The Wabbit and the Top-Secret Area

The operations room was huge. The sign said it all. This was a top-secret bunker. He could hear noises and he hoped Wabsworth was on his way. He could detect the squeal from an old U-Matic recorder. He shook his head. A figure stood at a desk, but it had turned out to be a dummy - the Wabbit felt foolish for threatening him. Anyway, he got behind a cabinet for cover and scrunched down. The stairway would have creaked had it not been concrete. A figure approached. "Who goes there?" The Wabbit decided to be bold. "Wabsworth, Commander!" The tip of a snazer came round the corner followed by the Wabbit's android double. "I nearly shot you." The Wabbit's head swung as he heard another figure approaching. "Are you all right Wabbit?" Lapinette's voice cut through the gloom. She was armed with a snazer too. "We have company of persons unknown," said the Wabbit. "They're playing a funny game." Lapinette snorted. "I heard your old documentary playing somewhere. Sounded like a bad dream." The Wabbit decided to ignore that for the moment. "Is this the fail-deadly location?" Wabsworth, as always, had cut to the chase. "Probably," shrugged the Wabbit. "This is quite a place," commented Lapinette. "Planning a move?" smiled the Wabbit. "I hear they're going to carpet bomb it!" stated Wabsworth. They laughed at his deadpan humour. "Good place for a drinks reception," added Lapinette. "Bring anything with you?" smirked the Wabbit.
 

9. The Wabbit in the Tunnel of the Past

The Wabbit hopped with caution down the gloomy cavern. It was in a poor state, or it had never been finished. The cavern was silent except for water dribbling down the walls. The Wabbit knew that outside, noise levels were grim. In his head he could hear car alarms, ambulance sirens, leaf blowers, revving mopeds. A flickering on the roof was composed of his old documentary. "They're trying to torment me with my ancient film," thought the Wabbit, "they'll have to do better than that." Scenes changed. Barcelona gave way to Amsterdam to Dublin to London to Athens to Porto. The Wabbit shrugged. "That's all in the past." He hopped on. His glasses glowed a deep blue in the gloom. His head groaned. His feet were wet. His hands clammy. The voice returned, whispering. "Where is it? Where is it? Where is it?" The Wabbit knew that they were serious. His radio was under his paw, but he murmured into it. "Come in, come in" This time there was a signal. It must have been the metal rods. "Wabbit to base, come in," A soft crackle gave way to a familiar voice. "I know where you are, Commander. I've got a fix." The Wabbit hissed. "I could use some help here." Wabsworth was self-assured as always. "Shall I bring an excavator?" The Wabbit shrugged. "And explosives." There was a long silence. "Don't worry, we're on our way." He cut off. "Do what you like," hummed the Wabbit, "but don't keep me waiting." 

8. The Wabbit and the Dank Tunnel

The Wabbit said this was a job for him and he'd go alone. No-one was happy, but the Wabbit was adamant. With the digital coordinates memorised, he travelled far. He didn't know what he was looking for but he said he'd know when he found it. He was deep in the mountains. It was cold and dank. Water dripped down the walls. An old sign said that he should keep his mouth shut. He shrugged and looked around. No sign of any enemy, Euls or otherwise, He thought he's better call in and he stabbed his walkie talkie. He only got a faint crackle. "I think the walls must be too thick," he grumbled. "I wonder why the Department put its fail-deadly system in this god forsaken place. There are only ghosts here." At that point he heard murmurings. They became clearer. These were cold recorded voices. "We are the Ghosts of the Department," they said. "We can see you Wabbit." The Wabbit fumbled in the dark for his automatic. "Show yourselves," he called. Silence fell, then the cold voices again. "We are but auditory holograms. We knew you would come. Did you bring the tape?" The Wabbit was coy. He couldn't be sure this wasn't a trap. "The tape is in safe hands. I am instructed to reveal its whereabouts to no-one." Silence again. "We are someone!" The Wabbit froze. He'd heard that before and at that moment he knew it was a trap. He wished he'd brought reinforcements. He looked up and down the tunnel. In the distance he could see an escape route of sorts and he thought he'd better use it ...