Wednesday, May 01, 2019

4. The Wabbit and the Narcissistic Carrot

Discussions at the Department of Wabbit Affairs had gone on and on. What to do about the carrot incursion? No-one had the slightest clue about a course of action. Up to this point however, no-one had experienced carrot harm. So the Wabbit and Wabsworth were detailed to gather as much information as they could - but it wasn't until the following evening they had any luck. A carrot of a different variety was strolling around the city, looking in shops. Wabsworth and the Wabbit followed unnoticed until the carrot stopped outside a hairdresser. They came to a halt, crouched against a car and listened. The carrot was humming a joyful tune and every so often he spoke in a soft voice. "Lovely, lovely, lovely. Lovely, lovely, lovely." He stroked the face in the window, then stroked his carrot tummy. The Wabbit flicked his ears so he could hear everything. The carrot murmured quietly "Luxury beauty brands are exactly what I've been looking for. I will tell everyone and we'll come back tomorrow." The Wabbit nudged Wabsworth. Wabsworth nodded and stepped forward. "Perhaps I can help you, carrot?" "Little old me?" replied the carrot, "how could you possibly help?" At that moment the Wabbit hopped forward. "Me and my lagomorph friend here can get you a very good price on premium beauty brands." The carrot swayed and waved its carrot limbs and smiled in agreement. "Meet us here tomorrow night," said the Wabbit. "Bring your friends," said Wabsworth. "We'll bring the samples," grinned the Wabbit ...