20. The Wabbit plans the Way

The Wabbit led the way down the walkway in a resolute fashion. Through the portholes, he could see Marshall Duetta and the Red Spiders gather as instructed. More and more came until they covered the ship and the light was entirely blocked. "Anyone got a torch?" said the Wabbit. "You do!" said Skratch and Lapinette together. The Wabbit smiled and rummaged in his fur. He fished out a serviceable torch from an old adventure and switched it on. It lit the walkway but the walkway comprised a long corridor that seemed to stretch for ever. The Wabbit continued to insist it was the only way. "They won't be expecting us so we have the advantage of surprise," he said and he hopped quickly forward, whistling a tune. "What's the surprise plan?" asked Lapinette. "The surprise plan is that we have no plan." Skratch grunted but the Wabbit waved his torch around and made shadows. "Having no plan is, in itself, a surprise plan." "You mean there's always a plan, even if there's no plan," asked Lapinette. "That's the first rule of planning," said the Wabbit. "What's the second rule?" asked Skratch. "That the plan will change," grinned the Wabbit.

19.The Wabbit & the Saucer Download

The key sailed through the bay doors of the flying saucer with Skratch and Lapinette attached. Then it gradually ceased vibrating. When their teeth stopped chattering, Lapinette and Skratch looked around. "Where's the Wabbit?" asked Skratch. There was a whoosh as a door slid open. "Behind you," said the Wabbit in a voice that startled Skratch and Lapinette.. "How did you get here first?" asked Skratch. "I've been here before," grinned the Wabbit. Skratch nodded and decided to leave the matter there, but the Wabbit noticed his puzzled expression. "I downloaded a plan of the craft in case it came in handy." "And you kept it in your fur?" guessed Skratch. "I keep my fur strictly analogue," chirped the Wabbit, "for security reasons." "Where are the Ice Mice?" asked Lapinette. "Shall we'll go down here and find out?" said the Wabbit, indicating the only route. Skratch held up a paw. "Just a moment," he said. "Remind me about what these Ice Mice do." "They menace around and change the weather," said the Wabbit. "But why would they do that?" asked Skratch. "Devilment?" suggested the Wabbit.

18. The Wabbit & Close Engagement.

As the Wabbit flew closer to the bay door of the flying saucer, he saw a giant key leave the ground and he smiled. Everything was going according to plan. He breathed into his walkie talkie. "Red Spiders, Red Spiders, do you copy?" "Ready when you are," said Marshall Duetta Spyder. The Spiders banked and wheeled around the port flank of the saucer, but the Ice Mice inside either didn't see or chose to disregard them. Skratch and Lapinette clung grimly to the flying key and the wind tore at their fur. Skratch waved and called a question across to the Wabbit, but his words were lost in the gale. The Wabbit saw the wave and watched Skratch's lips move - but he had no need to lip read. He knew exactly what Skratch was saying anyway. "I've no idea what we'll do, Skratch," he called back, "we have to think on our paws." The Wabbit waved a paw up and down to make his point and Skratch nudged Lapinette. "The Wabbit has no idea what we'll do." Lapinette shrugged. "He'll concentrate on getting through on time. Then he'll execute a plan that will astonish them." Skratch gripped the key tightly. "It usually astonishes me too."

17. Lapinette and Flying Preparations

In a secret warehouse, Lapinette and the gang unloaded the big key from the truck. The key hovered slightly - which made moving it somewhat problematic. "Left paw down a bit, right paw down a bit, a bit to the left - no to the right," said Lapinette. "I think I know how to unload a key from a truck," said Skratch. "The key is really quite robust," said the Keeper of the Keys. "The Wabbit was quite specific," retorted Lapinette. "When we get the key safely out, Skratch and l have to stand on either side and touch it at the same moment." Skratch thought for rather a long time. "Do you mean to tell me I have to fly with this key?" "That’s the general notion," said Lapinette. Skratch thought again. "Surely not fly to the flying saucer?" Lapinette nodded gravely. Skratch flicked lint off his coat, just like he’d seen the Wabbit do on many occasions. "Who flies these crates any more anyway?" he laughed. "The Wabbit, probably," said Puma. "Well, talking about the Wabbit," said Skratch, "where is he?" "He’s co-ordinating," said Lapinette, "so he’ll find his own way." "What’s his crate of choice?" asked Skratch. "A hot air balloon," replied Lapinette. "He's trying to get a rise out of me," said Skratch.

16. The Wabbit and Coordinated Strategy

High above and far from Lapinette's truck, the Wabbit looked on as the Ice Mice used their beam to draw up every key in the city. He lifted his walkie talkie and spoke softly. "Come in Red Spiders." There was a pause and a crackle, then a voice spoke. "Do you wish us to move in?" said Marshall Duetta Spyder. It was quite the silkiest of voices and the Wabbit knew that Duetta was impatient. "Wait!" breathed the Wabbit. They waited and waited as more keys made their way to the saucer. The radio whined. "They'll take all the keys!" said Duetta. "But not our key," said the Wabbit and he kept on waiting. Suddenly a horn blasted with a Doppler shift that rustled all the hairs on all the legs of the Red Spider Battalion. Even though she was some distance away, Duetta caught a glint of light from the Wabbit's 28 teeth. "Now?" she asked. " No." answered the Wabbit. "When all the keys are inside, another key will appear." "Our key?" asked Duetta. The Wabbit grinned. "When the big key gets through the bay door, your battalion will cover the craft from stem to stern." "Nothing in or out!" said Duetta. "Seal it like cling film," said the Wabbit.
[cling film: plastic or food wrap (US)]

15. Lapinette and the Way to Drive

The gang raced across the city in an old army truck, with Lapinette at the wheel. Skratch was wondering where Lapinette had learned navigation and decided it was something to do with the Wabbit. In that he was quite mistaken, because Lapinette had trained with the Goito Mechanised Brigade and sported several badges of Merit. While Skratch looked around fruitlessly for a safety belt, Lapinette hummed a tune and crashed gears, wearing a set expression that Skratch found alarming. "What’s that tune?" said Skratch, cheerfully. "Red Barchetta*," growled Puma. Skratch made a vibrating sound reserved entirely for cats and quickly changed the subject. "What exactly are we doing?" Skratch braced himself between the floor and the roof. Lapinette gunned the throttle, gritted her teeth and swerved. "Taking the big key to a place of safety." "Where?" asked Puma. "Don’t know," said Lapinette and she span the streeing wheel. "What about the Wabbit?" asked Skratch. Lapinette suddenly struck her paw on the horn and kept it there. The blast shook the windows, then wailed across the rooftops. "What was that for?" asked Skratch." "Signal." said Lapinette.

[*Red Barchetta is a song by Rush, celebrating the two seater sports car, the Barchetta (Little boat)]

14. The Wabbit and the Budget Cuts

"Wabbit to Wabbit Command!" snapped the Wabbit, "and use the quantum key." "Reading you, Commander," said a weak voice. "Ledgerwood!" said the Wabbit. "What are you doing in Communications?" " Budget cuts, Sir," said Ledgerwood meekly. The radio hissed and whined and crackled. The Wabbit was furious and hissed like the radio. "Well I asked for back up, not a screw up." "Budget cuts, Sir," sighed Ledgerwood. "Please convey my astonishment from the field," shouted the Wabbit, "we’re not at a Gala Dinner!" The Wabbit smashed the radio with his paw and switched to another frequency. "Calling Marshall Duetta, Red Spider Battalion.This is a Code 3 alert." The Wabbit heard the silky voice of Duetta. "Commander, initiating Code 3 protocols. What‘s afoot?" "Are you ready to Rock 'n Roll?" said the Wabbit. "Always Commander," said Duetta, "how many of us would you like?" "All of you," said the Wabbit. "Prisoners?" asked Duetta. "Confine them to their vessel." "What vessel?" asked Duetta. The Wabbit grunted. "Look back, nearly on your six o’clock." "A lengthy pause ensued. Through the window the Wabbit could just make out the green craft of the Ice Mice hovering threateningly.  The radio burst into life. "It’s a rather fetching colour," said Duetta. "Paint it red!" yelled the Wabbit.

13.The Wabbit and a Diplomacy Incident

The craft hovered over the station for some while and the Wabbit hopped out to meet with whoever or whatever might emerge. He watched as the Ice Mice beamed down, then advanced across the platform and waved for them to stop. "Please do tell me," he said flippantly, "who does go there?" The middle Mouse spoke first. "We are the Reformed Ice Mice and this is a mission of polite diplomacy." "Oh really," said the Wabbit, "may I call you RIM?" The Ice Mice made snickering noises but the leader frowned and turned sharply to the Wabbit. "We have done you a Great Service," he said. The Wabbit laughed derisively. "It was all in hand, you wasted your time." The Ice Mice conferred. "You have something we want," said one finally. "Do I look as if I’m bothered?" said the Wabbit. The Ice Mice shook their heads sadly. "We request a sign of good faith," said another Ice Mouse. "I’m all out of stock," said the Wabbit. Now the Ice Mice were getting extremely annoyed and the Wabbit smiled to himself. "We want the key!" shouted the Ice Mice in unison. "I do have a key," said the Wabbit. "Excellent," smirked the leading Mouse. "But the key belongs to me," said the Wabbit, "and it won’t work for anyone else." "We will take your key!" shouted the Ice Mice. The Wabbit shoved his paws in his fur and shrugged. "You and who’s army?" he grinned.

12.The Wabbit & Inconvenient Help

The train rattled down the hillside with the gang on board and Puma racing alongside. But the Agents quickly caught up and they shouted and waved their spikes menacingly. They drew alongside the train and were just about to board, when their ears pricked up. With agonised expressions, they flinched away from the wagon. "Do you hear something?" said Skratch. They all tried to make out the whining sound. It was high frequency and rather uncomfortable, but it infuriated the Agents who turned in pain and looked with horror at a strange craft rising from the horizon. "That’s definitely not one of ours," said Lapinette. "Brace yourself," said the Wabbit and they all clung on as the flying saucer fired volley after volley of ripple beams. The craft showed no mercy. Caught in the beams, the Agents blew apart and their limbs scattered over the track and across the hedges. "That’s takes care of our enemies," said the Wabbit, "but now we have to deal with our friends." "Ice Mice!" snapped Skratch. "I thought they were exiled in the Sombrero Galaxy? queried Lapinette.  "They’re here now," said the Wabbit. "What can they possibly want?" asked Puma. The Wabbit shrugged. "Well, what have we possibly got?"

11. The Wabbit & the Swift Getaway

No sooner had the gang left the building than heard blood curdling cries. The Wabbit turned and as he expected, he saw a host of Agents of Rabit. But there was something different about them.  Their old marching stance had gone and they were more agile. They could duck and dive and cruel spikes telescoped from their paws. "Run!" shouted the Wabbit. But everyone was running anyway. "Didn’t this happen before?" shouted  Skratch. "Yes!" yelled Lapinette, "it’s quite a regular thing." "Then what happened?" yelled Skratch. "We led them into a trap," said Lapinette, "and the Wabbit was waiting." Skratch looked at the Wabbit and his face fell. "Well he’s not waiting this time," he said. The Wabbit looked up. "Where’s my back up?" he shouted and he shook a paw at an empty blue sky. "Are you certain Command understood your request?" roared Puma. "Certainty is in short supply," gasped the Wabbit. He quickened his pace and had a think. "I know what," he muttered. "We’ll run for the old railway!" "Didn’t we do that before?" asked Skratch. "We did," said the Wabbit. "So what happened?" replied Skratch. "Lapinette rescued us by helicopter," said the Wabbit. They all looked at Lapinette. She shrugged and made a whirling motion with her ears. "It’ll have to do," sighed the Wabbit. 

10.The Wabbit's Rooftop Transmission

There was a rasp of turning keys and a flash. Suddenly they found themselves outside and very high up. Skratch was used to heights and jumped around. Everyone else looked over the parapet. "Does this usually happen, Keeper?" asked the Wabbit. "Not as a rule," said the Keeper. "Usually a set of instructions comes sliding under the door. It opens and I go out." The Wabbit pulled a walkie talkie from his fur and hit it for luck. "Hello Wabbit Command, come in!" There was silence. "Hello Wabbit Command, Wabbit calling. "Another silence then the radio crackled. "Wabbit Command. Reading you. Over." The Wabbit shook his head. "Please engage the Quantum Key." Another pause. "Say again, Commander!" The Wabbit groaned and said it again. "Engaging security encryption," confirmed Wabbit Command. "Go ahead." "We have a situation," said the Wabbit. "Please define," said Wabbit Command. "A set of circumstances in which one finds oneself," snapped the Wabbit. Lapinette poked him and the Wabbit’s stomach groaned. "Are you injured, Commander?" said Wabbit Command. "Not yet," said the Wabbit. "This is an Agents of Rabit proximity warning. Backup required." "On its way," said Wabbit Command. "Anything else?" "A salad sandwich," said the Wabbit. 

9. The Wabbit & the Rapper Maneuver

.

The Wabbit made a signal and everyone in the team moved around the Keeper, taking up position at the back. The Wabbit was about to use the Rapper's Manoeuvre - which sometimes worked. It was simple move in which he would engage in discussion with the Keeper. Whatever the Wabbit said, the rest of his team would vociferously agree with him. As they set up a jerky beat, the Wabbit drew close to the Keeper and rapped - "Who are these grim and scurvy knaves, who keep you cruelly enslaved?" "Enslave is grave! Enslave is grave!" chorused the team. "So hit them with an architrave," shouted Skratch. The Wabbit sighed deeply but the Keeper was hooked and said. "They are giant grey rabbits all, scraggy as the ghastliest troll". Suddenly all was clear to the Wabbit. "Sounds like the awful Agents of Rabit. We don't like their painful habits," he rapped. "They're both baneful and disdainful," yelled Puma. "Our association's been ungainful," shouted Lapinette. Then the Wabbit hunched in to the Keeper. "Let's find a way to work together." "With a cunning plan that's more than clever," sang Skratch. "Carried out with vim and vigour," chanted Puma. The Keeper looked astonished. "Everyone agrees!" he said. "That's the concept," smiled the Wabbit.

8.The Wabbit & the Keeper of the Keys

Enough light beamed from the dimmed windows to allow the gang to see. "You're all most welcome,"  said a most solemn voice. "I'm so glad my key got you here."  Lapinette pushed the Wabbit towards the centre of the room. "You speak to it!" she hissed. "Why me?" said the Wabbit, "it's always me." "Yes, people speak to you - all the time," murmured Lapinette. "That's right Wabbit," agreed Skratch the Cat. "You have a general rapport that gets you invited in." Puma offered a smile of satisfaction. "Statues, goddesses, trains. planes. Anyone and everything speaks with the Wabbit." So the Wabbit shrugged and hopped into the centre of the room, facing one of the oddest creatures he had ever seen. "I am the Keeper of the Keys," said the creature. The Wabbit hadn't a clue what to say. "Good for you!" he announced and thought hard. "What's that like?" he added. "Dreary," said the Keeper. "I am condemned to live here, due to my obsession with keys." "Forever?" asked Lapinette. "Sometimes I am allowed out to open very, very big doors." said the Keeper. "Then you have to return?" asked Skratch. "I'm no longer very sure," said the Keeper. The Wabbit felt annoyed and stamped his foot. "Then you've come to the right rabbit," he said. "I know," said the Keeper. "My key found you."

7. The Wabbit and the Secret Room

The Wabbit and Lapinette swept through the doors that opened before them - and Skratch and Puma jumped through behind them. Suddenly all was darkness and they stood motionless in the still air. Puma had the best eyes and so he was the first to see anything. "It's one big empty place," he murmured. Skratch blinked his way to vision, followed by Lovely Lapinette. Finally the Wabbit spoke. "It's one big empty place," he gasped. "And it has an echo," said Lapinette, digging the Wabbit in the ribs. "There's only the four of us here as far as I can see," said Puma quietly. "So why are we here?" wondered Lapinette. "And where's that key? asked the Wabbit. But of the giant key there was nothing to be seen and Puma glanced back and forward looking for it. "Skratch, you said there were three keys," he purred. "First I heard of it!" scoffed the Wabbit. Skratch assumed his lecturing position, "There were three doorways," he explained, "and that meant there had to be three keys." Lapinette' eyes gave a twitch of understanding and she nudged the Wabbit. "We were the other two keys," she said. "I'm not a key," said the Wabbit. Skratch was just going to joke about making a keynote speech when they heard a solemn voice echo from the walls. "So pleased you could all come." it said.

6.The Wabbit and the Number of Keys

The key lifted out of the staircase, flew high above the rooftops surrounding the Old Basilica and gently swivelled. Skratch the Cat watched, flexed his paws and got ready to move as the Wabbit and Lapinette separated from the key. Puma observed them carefully as they proceeded towards three separate doorways and then he roared to Skratch. "You said stories had three keys, not doors," "Stories are far from a precise science," said Skratch calmly, rapidly unsheathing his claws. With a machine gun rattle, they made a burst of noise that awakened Lapinette and the Wabbit from their trance. "Whoooah!" yelled the Wabbit. "Ooooh!" shouted Lapinette. "What's going on?" yelled the Wabbit. "Get me down!" shouted Lapinette. Skratch lifted a reassuring paw. "Just keep going and whatever you do, don't think about being in the air." Skratch paused as the two sailed towards the doorways - and remembering the key, assessed it with suspicion. He paused for thought, then suddenly made a victory sign and shouted to Puma. "There are three keys!" "I only see one key," said Puma gravely. Skratch laughed. "Listen up Puma! When they get to the doorways, jump!" Puma looked questioningly. "You known how to jump, don't you?" said Skratch.