7. Wabsworth and the Hungry Salmon

Wabsworth was in receipt of an urgent radio message. It was transmitted only once and was heavily mangled but Wabsworth made the best of it and scrambled Susan the Biplane. The message said feed the fish, at least that's what he thought. It hadn't been hard to spot the fish. There were many, circling round a giant salmon. Wabsworth heard the salmon shouting. "Go round, Susan," he yelled. The salmon reared from the water. "Did you bring the food?" Wabsworth had only found Tropical Pellets, but he stuck a paw up anyway and Susan circled round again. On the second pass Wabsworth poured out food. Water foamed as the fish threshed with delight. "Excellent, yum yum," called the giant salmon. Susan flew back and forward along the surface of the river. Each time she passed, Wabsworth threw more food and the salmon gulped another message. "They've gone to shallower waters! You'll find the culprit there." Wabsworth had no clue about any of this. So they went round again and Wabsworth poured more. "Will you lead us?" he yelled. "We can't go there," yelled the salmon. Susan passed again and Wabsworth shouted an inspired question. "Who are we chasing?" The giant salmon bared his twelve sharp teeth. "We call him the Scunner Akwat." His fins made the river foam around him. Wabsworth threw down the last of the food and held up a paw in salute. Susan dipped her wings, then wheeled and roared south to the shallows.

6. The Wabbit and the Salmon Gang

They hunted high and low for the culprits but when they came to Sassi there was another commotion. Nessie exploded from the water with a great wail. "Help me Wabbit," shouted Nessie, "ah canny get rid of thae salmon." The Wabbit mulled over the salmon as the guilty parties, but the idea was too fishy. He could see Nessie was in distress so he pulled a can of Irn Bru from his fur and climbed Nessie's neck. The drink was so shaken that it hissed and fizzed then exploded into Nessie's mouth. "Och," gulped Nessie, "You're a wee brammer. Anything to eat?" Lapinette dug in her frock and produced a couple of shortbread biscuits she'd kept from a party. Nessie head swooped down. The Wabbit clung on as Nessie swept the biscuits into his cavernous mouth. "What's with the fish?" asked Jenny. She batted a leaping salmon back over the bridge. "They followed me here from Loch Ness," complained Nessie. The salmon continued to spiral around them. Lapinette narrowly avoided a head on collision with a salmon, but it slapped her on the face as it passed. "Aaagh, big wet fish," spluttered Lapinette. Suddenly they were gone. "They had their fun," said Nessie, "they'll be away." "Other fish to fry?" grinned the Wabbit. Jenny sniffed the cuff of her uniform and wrinkled her nose. She paused for a second then sniffed again. "It might be worth following them."

5.The Wabbit - "Return of the Monstroids"

It was Captain Jenny's suggestion to look out from the bridge. It was the Marathon Bridge and its boards creaked with the ghosts of a thousand runners. They set out for the middle but from under the bridge came a monster roar. The Wabbit saw the creature first. "Monstroid!" It towered above them, dribbling blood from its jaws. More Monstroids thumped along the groaning bridge towards them.  Lapinette clutched her edged weapon and shouted. "I'll split you stem to stern!" Jenny yelled at them too." "Get back to Hades!" The Monstroids chortled and nudged each other. The Wabbit had an intimate acquaintance with their kind. One had grown inside him, and when it burst free it spawned an army that terrorised the city. The Monstroid was talking. Only the Wabbit could understand. Lapinette heard him speak a strange language. "Why did you hang the Agent of Rabit?" The Monstroid frowned a grim frown. "Not me." "Who roughed up our captain?" The Monstroid looked back at his cohorts. They shook their heads. The Monstroid shrugged. "You shot at Jenny." yelled the Wabbit. "Not guilty," said the Monstroid. "Then why are you here?" said the Wabbit. "We miss you!" said the Monstroids. The Wabbit made a rude sign with his paw. The Monstroid smiled a hideous smile - then dropped silently into the river. The others seemed to evaporate. Lapinette tugged questioningly at the Wabbit's fur. "They're family," sighed the Wabbit, "I'm obliged to speak to them."

4. The Wabbit and Jenny in Trouble

The Wabbit and Lapinette searched the River Po from the Dora to Ponte Isabella and beyond. Upstream, the trail became lush with vegetation. The sun appeared and made it sparkle. The Wabbit sniffed, then stopped because he'd lost the scent. They peered around but there was nothing to see. Crickets chirped. Humming birds hovered. Leaves lay flat and breathless. Suddenly Jenny came crashing from a tree with a thud loud enough to startle the squirrels. The Wabbit and Lapinette stood stock still and watched. Jenny looked the worse for wear. Her hat was improvised and her uniform unkempt. The weapons looked functional, but they didn't belong to Jenny. Something was far amiss. The Wabbit heard a scurrying in the undergrowth and looked round, but Lapinette heard it first. She raised her automatic and pointed. The Wabbit saw the sun glint from a gun barrel aimed directly at Jenny, and the only thing he could do was yell, "Hit the Deck, Jenny!" Jenny dropped quickly from sight just as two shots rang out. A blast from the woods tore a fragment from her hat and made a groove in her fur. A second from Lapinette sent the assailant's gun spinning. There was a groan. Something crashed off through the undergrowth - followed by a hail of bullets as Jenny and Lapinette fired round after round. "I hate the countryside," sighed the Wabbit, "it's far too noisy."

3. The Wabbit and the Angry River

It  didn't take long for the Wabbit and Lapinette to reach the troublespot. The river had gathered momentum since the last bridge. It snarled and thrashed at the banks in some kind of private fury. The noise was so deafening they had to shout. "Over there!" yelled Lapinette. The Wabbit saw a body hanging, suspended over the river. It swayed and turned lifelessly. But its arms were tense and its paws were bunched in fists of rage. Lapinette scaled the tree and tried to cut the body down. "Is he definitely dead?" called the Wabbit. "Looks likes rigor mortis," shouted Lapinette, "but he only just left us." "You gonna cut him down?" yelled the Wabbit. "Can't leave him here!" shouted Lapinette. The rope was easy meat for Lapinette's edged weapon and the body dropped. But it tumbled into the torrent. They were helpless to stop the river grab the body and they watched it float out of sight. The Wabbit ground all of his 28 teeth. "I was hoping to learn something." Lapinette shrugged and clambered down. Twigs broke. Leaves dropped. A bird startled suddenly and the Wabbit looked up. "There's Jenny's hook!" A bright red hook nestled, trapped between branches. The Wabbit shook the tree and caught it as it dropped. "There's blood on it." Lapinette grimaced, but she was thinking. "Where would Jenny make for?" "Downstream," pointed the Wabbit ...

2. The Wabbit and the Bridge to Cross

The Wabbit's hop down the river was a formal affair that involved crossing a suitable bridge, then continuing on the other side to the next bridge, then crossing again. They hopped some distance, crossing many bridges until they reached the big University. There, the river became wild and inhospitable and it coursed down to the Po like it was late. The Wabbit studied the graffiti. "Who are the Sons of Anarchy?" Lapinette knew all about it. "It's a crime soaper on cable TV about a motorbike gang." "Now I remember," said the Wabbit; "Hamlet and Harleys." Lapinette glanced down. A rose lay on the parapet and she picked it up. "This is the rose Jenny wears on her pirate hat." "Are you certain it's hers?" said the Wabbit; "They all look alike." Lapinette peered into the swirl of water. "Well, there's her hat!" The Wabbit's fur stood on end and he jumped to dive into the river. "There's no-one, Wabbit. I can't see her," yelled Lapinette. They both raced to the other side of the bridge but they could see only river and woods. The water roared by with a deafening growl but there was no mistaking the bark of an automatic. "Jenny," breathed Lapinette. The Wabbit indicated a point farther down the river. A muzzle flash lit the water and a bullet hit a tree. Branches cracked and birds lifted. "Let's join the party," said the Wabbit.

1. The Wabbit and the Iron Bridge

Lapinette caught up with the Wabbit on the Iron Bridge at Via Borgo Dora. "Wabbit! Are you hanging about?" "Yes," said the Wabbit. "Just in case a certain rabbit comes by!" He touched Lapinette's shoulder and smiled. Between adventures was dull, but the day was balmy and together, they listened to the river gurgling pleasantly under the bridge. It was one of the Wabbit's places, because he liked to see all the different kinds of characters there. Later he'd trawl the vast market in search of something unobtainable. "Any news?" he asked. "Adventure news?" replied Lapinette. The Wabbit brightened. Lapinette shook her head. The Wabbit frowned. "Adventures are like buses," shrugged Lapinette. The Wabbit smiled. "Another one will come along in a minute?" Lapinette scoffed at this. "Well, eventually the bus arrives and you get a bone-rattling ride home." The Wabbit sighed. "I would be more than happy to have my bones rattled." Lapinette couldn't take that seriously. "We could be bone deep in a boneyard." The Wabbit chortled. "Shall we walk the river?" Lapinette was horrified. "What? To the source?" The Wabbit laughed. He's been thinking of the spot where the River Dora empties into the Po. It wasn't so far. "We'll have lunch at Sassi," suggested Lapinette. "What could possibly go wrong?" laughed the Wabbit. So paw in paw they hopped their way along the Dora ...