4. Tipsy and the Coffee of the Dead

Tipsy was in the Coffee Museum when it all began. She'd got a message to be alert and she was. It was no surprise when she came down the stairs to meet two zombies stealing a coffee machine. She bared her teeth and with a cry she pulled out an edged weapon. There was blood everywhere and each time the zombies coughed there was more. She plunged her knife into the back of the nearest zombie and pulled it out again. There was no effect but to add to the blood that was there already. She took a swipe at the head and severed it, but it just grew back. "Uuugh spluuugh," said the first zombie. It was the same with the arm. "Coff coff, need coff," said the second zombie. "Need arm to drink." It put its arm back on and pulled the machine down the stairs. "Send more capsules," said the first. "Even more capsules," said the second. Tipsy wasn't keen on coffee capsules and she said so. "Grrr," said the first zombie, "Eat the rabbit." A swipe from Tipsy sent its tongue flying through the air. It was just as quickly replaced, this time by two. Blood trickled from their mouths as the tongues waggled. "Slurp slurp," said the zombies together. Tipsy shook her head. She was getting nowhere, "I need reinforcements," she muttered. She retreated back upstairs, moaning. "Things are getting bad when you can't dispose of a couple of zombies. Not a brain cell between them." She backed off until she reached a window and climbed out. "Dead end street," she said - and dropped to the road ...

[Zombies by https://pixabay.com/users/erikawittlieb-427626/ ]

3. The Wabbit and Thorough Preparations

When the truck drew up in Pluto Park, there were already two jeeps in place. Skratch worked on one because he wasn't happy with its performance. Lapinette took charge immediately and eliminated his theory. "It's not death wobble, Skratch. Just a bad throttle body." Skratch was delighted because he could fix that in an instant. Wabsworth ensured the snazer guns were correctly aligned and functioning. The Wabbit fiddled with the lorry tail because he felt he was surplus to requirements. "Ouch," he said as he snagged his paw. "What are you doing, Wabbit?" said Lapinette. "Getting in touch with my practical side," said the Wabbit. Lapinette huffed and puffed. "Get in touch with my personal guard and tell them to be combat ready." "They're always ready for combat," shrugged the Wabbit. Skratch laughed and dropped his spanner on his face. "This is a serious mission, please take it seriously." Lapinette was livid. Wabsworth dropped a snazer on the Wabbit's foot. The Wabbit's smile didn't crack - although he wanted to yell out. Instead, he asked, "Seriously, what is this MacGuffin thing?" Lapinette watched Skratch and said nothing. "Let me guess. Is it a weapon of mass destruction?" said the Wabbit. "Yes," said Lapinette. "Oooh," said Wabsworth, "Explosive or infectious?" Lapinette drew a deep breath. "Both," she said. The Wabbit looked under the truck. "They've got to be somewhere!" Lapinette's sharp intake of breath alerted the Wabbit to the fact he'd made a bad joke in the wrong place. "This weapon turns things into zombies." The sound of jaws dropping could be heard a long way off. The Wabbit recovered first. "What do you call a row of zombies?" Lapinette was first to respond. "A deadline!" she groaned. 

2. The Wabbit and Lapinette Take 'em Out

Lapinette drove fast and had no time for obstacles. But as she reached Via Cernaia she heard a clatter of motorcycles. She vaulted the statues. The truck soared high in the air. The Wabbit looked down at the vehicles. "Definitely hostile," he said and he gripped whatever there was to grip. The truck was airborne, but the bikes came from below, grazing her wheels. The riders sported black visors and they couldn't really see their faces. But their intent was clear. They meant harm. "I can hear a Rotax engine." The Wabbit knew his motorbikes but Lapinette wrinkled her nose. "I don't care what engines they have, they're dead ducks." She threw the truck to the left and then the right. The motorbikes span to the ground and no-one got back up. "We're meeting Skratch and the rest at Pluto Park," said Lapinette, "and I aim to be there on time." The Wabbit settled back in his seat as the truck crashed down on the road. "You should get new seats," he said and smiled. "These are new seats," answered Lapinette. "You could have fooled me," said the Wabbit. "They're racing seats from the Army and Navy Stores. Special offer," said Lapinette. The noise from the engine was deafening. "So what's the MacGuffin?" asked the Wabbit. Lapinette downshifted several gears then just as quickly upshifted. Street furniture flew. "It's super hush hush," said Lapinette. "Mmmm?" said the Wabbit. "A weapon so dangerous, it must not fall into the wrong paws," added Lapinette. "Where is this weapon?" asked the Wabbit. "In the wrong paws," said Lapinette. "Best get moving then," murmured the Wabbit. "Hooked up and ready to roll," yelled Lapinette. The truck swung into Corso Svizzera on two wheels. "Hang 'em out to dry," shouted the Wabbit.

1. The Wabbit and the Secret Mission

The Wabbit was hopping along Via Pietro Micca when he saw Lapinette coming towards him in a truck. He stepped sideways but to no avail. She stopped a centimetre from his feet, then signalled for him to get on board. He swung himself up with a friendly wave. "What gives, Lapinette?" The Wabbit liked to use hippie vocabulary once in a while. "Wabbit, we have a mission." Lapinette sounded urgent. The Wabbit was surprised. There was nothing on the horizon, or so it seemed. He paused by the window. "What kind of a mission?" Lapinette chortled and floored the throttle. The truck screeched as it took off at speed. "A secret one of course." The Wabbit jumped into a seat and hauled the door shut. He hadn't supposed it would be any other kind. "We'll need all our vehicles," she said. She pushed the truck up the gears and careered off into Via Antonio Bertola. The Wabbit sat back and smiled. "Is it urgent?" Lapinette rounded a corner on two wheels. "Everything is urgent for the Department." The Wabbit nodded his head and wound the window up against invading dust from nearby tram works. "Agents of Rabit?" asked the Wabbit. "Don't know," said Lapinette. "Euls, Skuttles, Gnamskulls?" suggested the Wabbit. "No idea," yelled Lapinette. She crashed down three gears without regard for synchromesh. The Wabbit glanced in the back of the truck. It was crammed with weapons. "Expecting trouble." It wasn't a question. "Triple trouble," replied Lapinette. "Trouble is my trade," said the Wabbit, "How else would I make any money?" He leaned forward, opened a hidden compartment under the dash and grinned. "My emergency C4 is still here." Lapinette replied through gritted teeth. "Business will boom!"

The Wabbit at his Adventure Caffè.

The team met at a Caffè they knew and loved. Skratch arrived late, as was his way. Wabsworth peered round Lapinette to watch his approach. He was in good humour and raised his paw in greeting. "Hello everyone! What a splendid adventure!" Skratch liked to have first go at explanation and he was determined. "Let me give you my learned analysis." He shielded his eyes from the sun and sat down on the only seat available. He pulled it forward. "That sun is fierce," he said. The Wabbit was pleased to see him. "Tell us oh learned one, what was that for a sort of Adventure?" Skratch's meaow reverberated down the porticos. "It was a conventional device for a series," he said. "But I must mention Heidegger."  Lapinette gave a slight giggle. "Must you?" Wabsworth was interested however, and he leaned back. "Being and Time," he murmured. Wabsworth had recently undertaken a study of world philosophy in alphabetic order, and he'd lingered on "H". The Wabbit merely laughed. "I suppose you're going to give us all that guff about people seeking repetition because it makes them comfortable." Skratch pretended to be horrified. "I am not a dispenser of old guff," he meaowed. "Repetition takes the past and gives it meaning and sense. It may therefore be understood." He nodded gravely as if agreeing with himself.  Lapinette wasn't to be outdone. "Seidel thought of this as a redredging that reclaims the past." Skratch was super pleased. "You're a marvel, Lapinette." The Wabbit grinned. "It would be marvellous if Lapinette could attract the attention of the waiter! She's awfully good at that."  

5. The Wabbit and a Dream of Rail Lines

The supermarket had gone and the Wabbit was dropping once more. There was a smile on his face because it was so peaceful. He could make out the railway station and the lines below, but he could hear no trains. Still, his nose picked up a static smell from the electric pylons. It seemed comforting. He continued to drop until he passed the cables. Lapinette was shouting. "Wabbit, this is the end of your dream." The Wabbit grinned to himself. "Is it over? So soon?" Lapinette yelled this time. "Wabbit wake up." The Wabbit didn't want to. Why?" he mumbled, "it's so comfortable." Lapinette floated closer. He could feel her paws touch his. "All good dreams must come to an end," she said. The Wabbit was aware of sounds from the nearby shunting yard and he could hear cars pass over the big bridge. There was the whoosh of a tram. He shook his head. "I like the railway and all that goes with it," he said. Lapinette was insistent. "You have to come back to us Wabbit. You have work to do." The Wabbit revolved through 360 degrees but seemed reluctant to waken. Lapinette spoke again. "You can visit the railway any time you like." The Wabbit smiled. "I can, can't I?" With a sudden shudder he shook himself awake. He was still floating above the railway but plummeting fast. The lines loomed. He tried to click his fingers. The scene faded and he was back in his bedroom. "Phew," he said, "these lines must represent the paths and choices I have in life." He was still slurred. Lapinette prodded him fully awake. "You have an unconscious desire to marry a train." The Wabbit laughed and thought about it. "You Freud, me Jane?" he giggled.

4. The Wabbit and the Gnamskull's Pizza

Lapinette moved the Wabbit's dream along. With a wave of her paws, they were in a supermarket in Ireland. "What on earth?" began the Wabbit. Lapinette silenced him with a paw to her lips. They waited until they heard a commotion. It was a monster the Wabbit hadn't seen for number of years and it was at a freezer compartment, tearing at pizzas. "A gnamskull," breathed the Wabbit. "A gnamskull and it's hungry for pizza." The gnamskull's teeth tore at the cardboard but it was tough work. He tried several until he found the one he wanted. Then he set about it with vigour. The Wabbit could only watch. Then his eyes flickered across to Lapinette's. "That's my favourite shop-bought pizza," he whispered. Lapinette gazed back. "You can talk as loudly as you like Wabbit, I don't think it can hear you." The Wabbit shouted. Nothing happened. "It's your dream," said Lapinette, "it must mean something to you." The Wabbit strode over to the creature and tried to take the pizza away. The gnamskull gripped it vicelike in its teeth. There was no way the Wabbit could get it. "Give me back my pizza," shouted the Wabbit. The Gnamskull shot behind a counter with the pizza. The cardboard had gone and he was eating the frozen contents. "Are you some kind of weirdough?" shouted the Wabbit. Lapinette shrugged. "The dream belongs to you. What happens next? "The Wabbit launched at the Gnamskull. "You're a real pizza work!" he shouted. The gnamskull dived under the counter and squealed. The Wabbit gave up. "Now look here, gnamskull," he said. "My pizza jokes can't be topped."