5. Mitzy, Tipsy, Fitzy and the Money

Lapinette's Guard swept into the deserted space, turned to face out and bowed. "Anyone here?" asked Tipsy. "Not a soul." said Fitzy. "Where is the Wabbit now the dust has settled?" said Tipsy. "Gone looking for trouble?" said Fitzy. "Gone with the money," said Mitzy. "Gone with the golden rabbit," said Tipsy. She pirouetted and yelled. "The Wabbit prefers trouble to money." Using a mosaic as a skateboard Mitzy coasted around and back, then she shrugged and sang. "Money won't buy him trouble." Fitzy swayed elegantly. "Money's short, always tight, can't buy you love, it's never right." "Money!" yelled Tipsy. Now Mitzy sang. "But if you happen to be rich, turn a switch, it's no hitch." The three stepped forward and shouted simultaneously. "The Wabbit is not rich and he's looking for trouble." Mitzy spread her paws. "He will find it." Fitzy swayed. "He already did." Tipsy plunged a paw into her frock and pulled out a coin. "Could you change a rouble?" Fitzy stuck out a paw. "I'll give you double." Mitzy grabbed it away. "Even though it might be trouble, I'll double that again." Tipsy took the coin back. Her paws blurred. "Abracadabra!"  She held up four coins and smiled. "Look how much money we made." "Hubble bubble ..." murmured Fitzy.

4. The Wabbit and the Second Unit

Footsteps announced the arrival of the Agents. They were sooner than expected. Spring gestured for the Wabbit to snuggle close and then they rubbed ears. The Wabbit felt his fur tingle as they almost vanished - but not quite. They shimmered in the light, neither here nor there - all the Agents saw were confused shadows and ghostly images. "I don't like it here." The first Agent's name was Squatpump and he had a voice like a factory siren. Thrasher, the second Agent watched him. "Lift the slab, Squatpump." There were several grunts. As the Wabbit watched the Agent lift the slab, he slid his paw into his fur and drew out the coin fragment from the museum in Siracusa. Spring summoned a rabbit coin that gave off a ghostly glow as it began to spin. Then he rolled it across the floor. "What's that clinking clanking sound?" asked Squatpump. The Wabbit pitched his coin fragment and it skipped noisily to Squatpump's feet. The Agent dropped the slab on his toes. "You idiot!" yelled Thrasher, "Look there's a note, get it!" Squatpump picked up the note with difficulty and tried to read it. "I can't read joined up writing," he moaned. Thrasher grabbed the note and turned it the right way up. "So was it does say?" whined Squatpump. Thrasher grimaced. "It says abandon hope."

3. The Wabbit and the Stash of Coins

Spring led the Wabbit into the basement and there he gestured to a slab of mosaic. "Under there!"  The Wabbit pulled a metal detector from his fur and pointed. It crackled enthusiastically. The slab was heavy, but the Wabbit tilted it round and hefted it up. A pile of gold coins sparkled in the light. The Wabbit gasped. "Perhaps this is what the Agents were looking for." Spring nodded. "It's the sorcerer's stash. Each contains an epoch of illicit wealth and this is where the bodies are buried." The Wabbit looked puzzled. Spring explained. "All relationships involved remain within the coins. They are the sum of all unfair exchanges. All lives that used the coins are represented there." The Wabbit expelled a single exasperated breath and carefully lowered the mosaic slab to hide the stash. Spring flapped his golden ears. "There are despots, oligarchs, cruel merchants, temporary tyrants, blackmailers, thieves and swindlers." "Charming," said the Wabbit. He stood very still and thought hard. "Why do the Agents of Rabit want this?" "They want to unleash the power in the coins," said Spring. "The power of unfair exchange?" frowned the Wabbit. Spring nodded vigorously. "What shall we do?" The Wabbit grinned. "We could wait for them and hit them on the head." "More will follow," sighed Spring. The Wabbit groaned as he lifted the slab again. "Then the stash has to go..."

2. The Wabbit and the Sorcerer's Coin

The Wabbit took Spring the Rabbit to the Palazzo caffè for a coffee. While they were waiting, Spring watched figures crossing the piazza. He watched for such a long time, the Wabbit had to intervene. "Here comes coffee," he chuckled. Spring chuckled, but ruefully. "I am the rabbit from the coin you sought - but I can't pay, having no coins myself." The Wabbit grinned ear to ear. "They know me here. Would you care for a salad sandwich?" Spring rapidly agreed and he jumped against the Wabbit's fur. "You are my liberator. How can I repay you?" The Wabbit considered. "Maybe you could tell me something about that coin?" Spring sighed deeply and turned to gaze from the window. "These people out there, they buy and sell?" The Wabbit nodded. "And they are themselves bought and sold?" continued Spring. The Wabbit gritted his 28 teeth, but agreed nonetheless. Spring began to tell his story. "An ancient sorcerer did me a great favour but I had no way to repay. He was furious beyond belief and trapped me in a gold coin. I was condemned to imprisonment there forever." "That's a long time," sighed the Wabbit. "I have seen many exchanges," said Spring. He sank against the Wabbit's chest. "I've witnessed bribery, corruption, double-dealing, graft and chicanery." The Wabbit thrust a paw in his fur and he scowled. "You're in danger. You know too much."

1. The Wabbit - Spring not Far Behind

The Wabbit was bored as he usually was between missions. Desperate for something to do, he paid a call to Palazzo Madama to find the real rabbit coin. There was nothing doing. He poked at every brick and paving stone he could see - until he was moved on by a surly attendant. He scowled. "Maybe there is no coin," he murmured: "Maybe it's just a myth." The Wabbit decided to take the stairs to the tower. It was quite a climb but although felt a little puffed after his last adventure, he made headway. The Wabbit decided that he would reach the top, then on the way down he would pick at every brick there was. The coin had to be somewhere. He slogged on, but his ears pricked up when he heard a faint scampering. He turned. There was nothing. He couldn't see anyone or anything. The Wabbit knew that generally in the morning, there weren't many people around. "Mice," shrugged the Wabbit and he resumed his climb. "Spring!" said a voice. "Who said Spring?" said the Wabbit without turning. "Spring isn't far behind," said the voice. The Wabbit turned to look. Nothing. He tapped his paw on the railings and turned back. "I'm Spring!" shouted the voice. With a sigh the Wabbit turned again to see a rabbit scampering up the stairs. It was the colour of shimmering gold and it moved with the grace of an angel. The Wabbit's frown turned into a smile. "What was your name again?"

The Wabbit at his Adventure Caffè

The Adventure Caffè was most pleasant. A gentle breeze blew through the doors and they all relaxed to discuss their most recent adventure. Skratch appeared in in his usual fashion and waited for someone to ask the question. This time it was Tipsy. She was pleased to be at the Adventure Caffè and she wanted to make an impression. "Skratch," she murmured. "What was that for a type of Adventure?" "Well now Tipsy," said Skratch. "That's a whole different question. And a good one." Wabsworth lifted a paw. "A type suggests form and as such, begs the question of content." Tipsy smiled with delight and the Wabbit nudged her. "Museums primarily deal with content," said Tipsy, "... so maybe we could think of it as contentious typology." Lapinette was next. "Yes, but it's not museum locations which constitute a typology but their assembly of contents. That demands specific interrogation as a cultural form." "Mmm. Formal architectural typology," nodded the Wabbit. He tapped a formal paw on a table. "The museum is the architecture of the past. An assembly of artifacts which are to all intents and purposes, dead." Tipsy butted in. "Aren't they then, by definition, the precursor of the new?" Skratch looked at Tipsy with admiration. "What about the visitors? As moving exhibits, do they comprise transvisional content?" "The Wabbit laughed. ""Good name for a band."

9. The Wabbit and the Unsteady Exit

Leaving the Agents prone in the corridor, Tipsy and Lapinette helped the Wabbit from the museum. He was a little wobbly but he grinned broadly and complimented Tipsy and Lapinette on their double act. As they reached the door, the Wabbit looked back. "What about the Coin?" "It's a replica," said Tipsy, "it's all made of ticky tacky." The Wabbit pondered for a moment. "So where's the real coin and what does it do?" "It doesn't do anything you can see," smiled Tipsy," "it just sits around being immensely valuable." "How much is it worth?" asked Lapinette. Tipsy swirled her eyes. "It has no price. It's scarce, rare, unlisted and unpublished." The Wabbit waited for Tipsy tell him where the authentic coin was, but Tipsy was coy. "On the other paw, it is said to have magical powers." "Where - is - it?" growled the Wabbit. Now Tipsy really grinned. "Under a stone in the floor of the Palazzo Madama in Turin." Lapinette was uncertain she's heard the whole truth. "Let's leave the matter there, along with the coin." The Wabbit nodded so hard it hurt his head. He winced. Lapinette tugged his fur. "So. What would you call that for a sort of honeymoon?" The Wabbit giggled. "I'd call it the best one I'd ever had." They all burst into laughter and they were still laughing when they found their way out.

8. The Wabbit and the Coveted Coin

The Agents grinned. The rabbit had come back and she'd brought what they wanted. Tipsy sat down and polished the coin with the hem of her frock. She hummed gently in a beguiling tone that the two Agents found mesmerizing. She rocked the coin in her arms and swayed from side to side until the lead Agent lost his temper. "You've had too much to drink," he sneered. "Oh, I'd love a little dwink," said Tipsy, "Do you have one?" She held the coin aloft. "Look I can pay - with this money." "Give us the coin," yelled the Agent angrily. Tipsy swayed. "Where's my dwink?" The Agent sighed and turned to look at the Wabbit. The Wabbit seemed to be unconscious so he turned back. But the Wabbit had raised himself to a crouch. "The coin," said the Agent. He gestured at Tipsy. "All right," smiled Tipsy. With a sudden twist, she propelled the coin into the air. The Agents grabbed at it in a flurry of paws, but it escaped their grasp. The Wabbit watched it hover. He lurched to his feet and pulled Lapinette's automatic from his fur. In a second that felt like an age, he tilted the gun to the side and fired. The coin sheared and a fragment flew off. The lead Agent howled. "Kill them. Kill them both." The other Agent shouted, "You do it."  He turned and ran from the room. The Wabbit heard gunfire from the corridor, followed by a heavy thud. He rubbed his head and grinned. "I think I'm in charge now."

7. Lapinette and the Quick Change

Lapinette took off and ran in search of a coin. She figured any coin would be enough to stall the Agents and she'd seen plenty of coins in museum displays. She flashed down a never ending series of corridors. Artifacts flew past on both sides - but where were the coins? She heard a voice. A figure was running towards her, carrying a large coin that bore a rabbit engraving. "Lapinette!" yelled Tipsy. They slid to a halt. "I'm taking your place." said Tipsy. She shrugged off her frock and threw it on the floor. Lapinette looked puzzled. "Orders," said Tipsy. With lightning speed they changed frocks. "But what about our ears?" sighed Lapinette. "Mine are cosmetic," grinned Tipsy. She unclasped her ear covers and gave them to Lapinette. Now Tipsy was Lapinette. She tucked the coin into her fur. "Where are they?" Lapinette thought for a moment. "Ten corridors down, two left, three right." Tipsy started to run, but Lapinette called her back. "What am I supposed to do now?" "Fitzy and Mitzy will find you." Tipsy sped on and Lapinette sped the other way. But only for a moment. When Tipsy was out of sight, she turned and followed her. She padded the many corridors at a stealthy pace but when she heard voices, she stopped. She checked Tipsy's frock. There was one automatic, an edged weapon and a hand held precision missile. She grinned a lopsided grin like the Wabbit, and breathed. "Everything a girl needs."

6. Lapinette and the Coin Gang

The Agent swung Lapinette into the room by an ear and her automatic flew out of her paw. She slithered across the floor. The Wabbit lay prone, moaning as if he'd been dragged out of bed early. The lead agent shook Lapinette. "Now go and get it!" he yelled. He shook her some more. "Get what?" asked Lapinette. Her head swam. "The coin. Get the coin," said the lead Agent. Lapinette shook her head and played for time. "I don't know anything about coins." The Agent laughed. "You're an expert in numismatics. We don't have all day, get the coin." Lapinette did know a great deal about coins and puzzled desperately. What coin were they so desperate to acquire? She had no clue. The other agent viciously kicked the Wabbit. "We're wasting time." "She knows where it is," said the lead Agent. He looked at Lapinette and snarled. "You have 5 minutes to get us the coin." He slapped the Wabbit's ear viciously back and forward, and yelled at Lapinette. "Five minutes. Start running or the Wabbit's toast." Lapinette spotted the Wabbit's ear fluttering a strange rhythm. "Morse Code!" thought Lapinette. She watched carefully as the ear twitched .-. ..- -. "Run," translated Lapinette. She staggered to her feet. "I'll get it," she nodded - and she ran. The Agents watched her go. But behind them, the Wabbit was reaching for the fallen automatic ...

5. Lapinette and the Deadly Pursuit

Lapinette flew through corridor after corridor. Each was lined with old coins and each looked exactly the same as the last. She could hear voices and her feet skimmed the museum floor as she followed the sounds. They didn't seem so far away, but the museum was a labyrinth and it was hard to tell where they came from. She heard a bang, then a shout - followed by a racket and a bit of a hubbub. It seemed like the Wabbit was giving as good as he got, but she couldn't be certain. The Agents of Rabit were tricky and their methods unsavoury, so she ran even faster. Suddenly she slithered to a halt and peered around a corner. She could see two Agents pulling the Wabbit into a room, laughing their derisive laugh as they went. "Not so smart now, Wabbit!" said one. She crouched low and waited. A chair slammed against a wall, then a sudden slap cracked like a whip. She heard the Wabbit say something and there were two more slaps. "Wabbit, this is not the time for jokes." It was only a murmur under Lapinette's breath but it was too loud. A door flew open and an Agent peered out. She rapidly aimed and fired. The Agent clutched his foot and screamed and swore like a trooper. Then he grabbed Lapinette by the ears and dragged her into the room ...