The Wabbit dines like a King

All that sightseeing and singing had made the Wabbit peckish. So without further ado he hopped into a nearby restaurant and jumped onto a chair. With any luck there would be a salad sandwich. Somehow - and the Wabbit hadn’t ordered a thing, nor looked at the menu - a carrot risotto appeared on the table and a bottle of lagomorph house wine. The Wabbit dined well. Very well indeed. So his small tummy was quite full. But then the Wabbit wondered about paying and he felt in his fur for his emergency coin. “Have no fear Wabbit,” said the waiter who appeared instantly. “Your emergency coin is no good here.” Then the Wabbit employed his new linguistic skills. “Grazie mille. Ho mangiato da re!” Then the Wabbit was gone, hopping his way past the crowds milling around the Fontana di Trevi. And on his way through the many legs, he intercepted some poorly aimed coins. “You never know,” said the Wabbit. “You never know.”

The Wabbit is unable to resist Performance Art

“Another fine square,” remarked the Wabbit as he pushed his way to the water’s edge. The Wabbit knew this one because of the song, which of course he started to hum through his teeth. “Three coins in the fountain, through the ripples how they shine, just one wish will be granted ... oh make it mine, make it mine, make it mine.” The Wabbit paused - because he couldn’t remember how many times that line repeated. He decided he did not care, simply because he had no intention of throwing his emergency coin in the water. But he had to keep up appearances, even if no-one could see the Wabbit. That was a general rule of thumb but the Wabbit had been caught out before. The Wabbit made a twist of his head and a soft plopping noise with his mouth. Everyone turned to look. The Wabbit just couldn’t resist it and he jumped on a parapet. “There they lie in the fountain, somewhere in the heart of Roooome.” Eat your heart out, Frankie!” thought the Wabbit. And then the Wabbit bowed and then vanished as if he had never been there at all.

The Wabbit in the Piazza Navona

“Oh it’s good to be out and about,” thought the Wabbit. “A change is as good as a rest.” Then the Wabbit decided it was better to stop thinking. He was always thinking. Sometimes he thought so long and so hard that he missed things in front of his nose. So he searched in his fur for the small guide book, thoughtfully provided by his benefactor, the Giantess. “Aha! This is Piazza Navona,” observed the Wabbit. “... and it looks very nice indeed.” The Wabbit looked at the tall obelisk and he could see strange writing, carved on the side. The guide book said that these were hieroglyphics, a very old language made out of signs and pictures. So of course, the Wabbit looked up and down the obelisk for a picture of a wabbit. He could see birds, cats and many animals but no sign of a wabbit. So the Wabbit went around the other side. And there it was – carved into the stone was a wabbit with very long ears. It was uncanny. The picture looked just like the Wabbit himself. “I’m older than I think!” thought the Wabbit and chuckled his way down the road.

The Wabbit wishes everyone a Happy Christmas

The Wabbit cart wheeled a long, long way then round a corner. And all the way he shouted “Christmas Day!” at the top of his wabbit voice. Soon, he found himself in the biggest square he had ever seen. The Wabbit thought it must be somewhere very important indeed. And then he heard a voice (he was getting used to hearing voices, so now he paid a particular attention). The Wabbit noticed that the voice was coming through enormous loudspeakers all around the big square and it was wishing everyone a Happy Christmas in many different languages. Then the Wabbit was astonished to hear the voice say “Get up on the fence Wabbit!” The Wabbit did what he was told. And then the mysterious voice continued, “ And a very Happy Christmas to you and all wabbits. “ The Wabbit thought that was awfully nice and he felt quite warm. “And a Happy Christmas to you too”, thought the Wabbit. “A Happy Christmas one and all!"

The Wabbit is transported to a Christmas destination

The Wabbit had been staring at the Christmas wreath and wondering about his travel arrangements. Then suddenly he found himself in a strange street outside a strange shop. For a second, the Wabbit was astonished. But then he understood. As if by magic - and perhaps it was magic - the Giantess had transported him without delay. He searched in his fur for his passport (which he didn't really need) and his emergency coin (which he did really need). They were both there! He was already on holiday. But where was the Wabbit? "I must be in Italy", thought the Wabbit, "because that sign means Happy Christmas in Italian." And as soon as he thought that thought, he felt the strangest sensation in his ears. The Wabbit found that he could understand everything that people were saying. The Wabbit was more than delighted, he was ecstatic! "Thank you Giantess", murmured the Wabbit. "But what shall I do now?" Of course there was no answer, because the Wabbit knew that what he should do on his very own holiday was entirely up to the Wabbit. "Que sera, sera", thought the Wabbit - and then he cartwheeled furiously down the road with reckless speed. Not one single person saw him do that, which was just as well for the Wabbit.

The Wabbit awaits news of his Surprise Holiday Destination

Full of excitement, the Wabbit arrived home to pursue his preparations. The children had decorated the door with a welcoming Christmas wreath and the Wabbit thought it looked quite nice. The Wabbit knew perfectly well that not every wabbit had a Christmas wreath on the door. The Christmas spirit had definitely seized the Wabbit. Now that he had organised everything, he was free to do what he wanted. No missions, no assignations or any duties of any kind were in his way. The Wabbit hoped that his surprise holiday destination would be revealed in the Christmas post. Perhaps it was behind the door at this very minute! Had the postman been? Would there be a registered delivery? Would the Wabbit have to sign for things? What if it had to be picked up? "Oh silly Wabbit, stop worrying." thought the Wabbit. "You're officially on holiday!" And the Wabbit smiled the biggest smile he had ever smiled and hopped into the house.

The Wabbit meets the Giantess and gets a Christmas Present

The Wabbit had reached his very favourite shop. It was the wabbit-friendliest shop he had ever had the good fortune to encounter. "But what could this be?" thought the Wabbit. The woman was so high that he could hardly see her face and it made him quite dizzy as he strained to look up. The Wabbit knew from Latin American wabbits that the Giantess was a popular cultural phenomenon - but he had never seen an actual Christmas one. What a surprise and delight for the Wabbit. Unfortunately the Giantess was so tall, that she could not see the Wabbit very well. But she could hear him. "Lagomorph, lagomorph, what would you like for Christmas?" He heard the question and, on reflection, he knew it was something he had not really considered. So the Wabbit had a good think. "I would like a nice holiday, Giantess" said the Wabbit shyly. "And you shall have it" replied the Giantess. "Prepare your passport and an emergency coin." The Wabbit didn't really need a passport, but he was delighted. "Thank you Giantess. Where am I going?" But the Giantess had gone and all that remained were the children, playing outside the shop. And then the Wabbit proceeded home, so pleased with his shopping trip that he hummed a little Christmas tune ...

The Wabbit searches for the right Christmas Card

The Wabbit searched for exactly the right Christmas Card for his relation, Chief Wabbit of Galloway. But there were no Chief Wabbit cards. There were Mums and Dads, girlfriends and boyfriends, aunts, uncles and all manner of relations. But the Wabbit could see nothing suitable. He felt - well, not catered for. Not a single wabbit, far less a Chief Wabbit. It would have to be a plain card, because the Chief Wabbit was very, very fussy about such matters and had been known to be become gwuff indeed. Even on Christmas Day. The Wabbit settled on a card that said Just For You and thought that he would write Chief Wabbit in, with a felt tip pen. There! It was all done except for one more thing. And then the Wabbit hopped excitedly towards his favourite shop.

The Wabbit is received with his very own Song

No sooner had the Wabbit left the Christmas display than he heard the sound of music being played rather well. So he stopped to have a look and a listen. And as he tapped a paw gently on the tarmac, he heard the strangest thing. He overheard one of the musicians say "Isn't that the Wabbit?" And the other one replied "Not the Wabbit! Surely never. We had better humour him, by playing him a song." And then they burst out in tune.

Rock on Wabbit/He's a Wabbit on a mission /He don't need no permission/to Rock and Roll
Right on Wabbit/His fur's in good condition/so we'll follow the Wabbit/
and we'll all wock and woll!

The Wabbit was very, very flattered - but at the same time he was a little embarrassed. So he clapped his paws together lightly then felt in his fur for his emergency coin, carefully placing it on the guitar case. And then he hopped quickly across the road, in case anybody else could see the Wabbit and sing more songs about him.