The Wabbit reviews his Year

The Wabbit felt the need to think over the events of the previous year. That called for a strong beverage, which the Wabbit had duly arranged. And what a year 2010 had been for the Wabbit! The Wabbit had met many new friends. He had safely survived the perils of the balcony. He had conquered rain and leaves and snow. He had been given a lift in a chocolate car. He had battled wabbit exclusion and been invited to contribute to wabbit affairs on the European Committee of Experts. He had taken part in the Great Wabbit Homecoming. And what about his rescue of an oppressed wabbit and his subsequent and abrupt dismissal of the sinister agents of Rabit? Then he recalled he had successfully negotiated the special launch of Lagomorph Lager. And, somewhat to his embarrassment, he had been sung about by young musicians. After all that, the gifts of the Giantess and his well-deserved holiday was merely icing on the cake. All the same, there were many outstanding items on his list. And the list only got longer. “I will have to put my list on the list!” The Wabbit chuckled. And so did the waiter behind him.

The Wabbit and the New Year Roman Candle

The Wabbit returned to his lodgings, hoping his secret stash had been delivered promptly and in time for midnight. And there they were. Roman candles. He read the strangely-written instructions which said “Light the blue touch paper and run away very quickly”. With one eye on the clock, he flicked his emergency lighter and then the Wabbit turned and ran like the fastest wabbit in the land. Zig-zag, zig-zag went the Wabbit and then he leapt onto a handy ledge. For what seemed like an age, nothing particular happened and the Wabbit hopped from one leg to another impatiently. He was certainly not going to investigate. Not the Wabbit. Then came a splattering and then a hissing and then a rumbling ... and then there was the most enormous kaboom, which startled the Wabbit and he jumped into the air at least a metre. Sparks flew everywhere as the Roman Candle threw sparks in many directions. “Good grief! I should have expected that really,” thought the Wabbit. Then he smelled a strange smell. He had singed his fur. Just a tiny little bit. “I shouldn’t be allowed,” murmured the Wabbit with a mischievous grin. “I just shouldn’t be allowed at all.”

The Wabbit makes tracks for New Year fun

It didn’t take the cart-wheeling Wabbit long to reach wherever he was going. Only the Wabbit knew where he was going. Well, for the most part, he knew. But sometimes he just followed his wabbit nose. The Wabbit loved New Year. It was his very favourite day of the whole year and he was searching out a nice district where there might be celebration and song and ... fireworks. Now generally speaking, wabbits do not like fireworks, but the Wabbit was no ordinary wabbit. When the Wabbit saw or heard fireworks his eyes gleamed mischievously and his paw itched and groped for his emergency lighter. Only a very few wabbits knew of the existence of this specialised item, nestling in the Wabbit's fur. “Roman Candles,” thought the Wabbit, “ since I am in the very place for them.” And the Wabbit allowed himself a snicker through his teeth.” I shall find a place to hang out and wait to see what happens. This is going to be the best New Year a wabbit could possibly wish for!” And the Wabbit hopped towards the welcoming light of a cafe, with a song in his head and hope in his heart.

The Wabbit receives an important Message

The Wabbit was minding his own business when suddenly he knew he could feel eyes boring into the back of his head. So quick as a flash the Wabbit turned around. It was a squirrel in a window. “I am the Squirrel in the Window,” said the squirrel, superfluously. And he rapped the window three times with his paw to make his point. “Indeed,” said the Wabbit. The squirrel continued. “I have a message from the Chief Wabbit of Galloway.” Now the Wabbit was surprised, and he prided himself on not being surprised. “What is the substance of the message,” said the Wabbit who could be pompous if startled. “Chief Wabbit says don’t forget it’s Hogmanay. The start of the New Year is nearly here.” “Thank you squirrel,” said the Wabbit, slightly ashamed of his poor manners. “Thank you very much. I must proceed forthwith. Forgive me for what you are about to see.” And then the Wabbit binkied high in the air and when he landed, not too far away, he started to cartwheel and as he did he shouted “Hogmanay” at the top of his voice. And the Wabbit got faster and faster and faster. Soon, the squirrel lost sight of the Wabbit and he smiled as he shook his head. “Silly Wabbit,” said the squirrel.

The Wabbit dines like a King

All that sightseeing and singing had made the Wabbit peckish. So without further ado he hopped into a nearby restaurant and jumped onto a chair. With any luck there would be a salad sandwich. Somehow - and the Wabbit hadn’t ordered a thing, nor looked at the menu - a carrot risotto appeared on the table and a bottle of lagomorph house wine. The Wabbit dined well. Very well indeed. So his small tummy was quite full. But then the Wabbit wondered about paying and he felt in his fur for his emergency coin. “Have no fear Wabbit,” said the waiter who appeared instantly. “Your emergency coin is no good here.” Then the Wabbit employed his new linguistic skills. “Grazie mille. Ho mangiato da re!” Then the Wabbit was gone, hopping his way past the crowds milling around the Fontana di Trevi. And on his way through the many legs, he intercepted some poorly aimed coins. “You never know,” said the Wabbit. “You never know.”

The Wabbit is unable to resist Performance Art

“Another fine square,” remarked the Wabbit as he pushed his way to the water’s edge. The Wabbit knew this one because of the song, which of course he started to hum through his teeth. “Three coins in the fountain, through the ripples how they shine, just one wish will be granted ... oh make it mine, make it mine, make it mine.” The Wabbit paused - because he couldn’t remember how many times that line repeated. He decided he did not care, simply because he had no intention of throwing his emergency coin in the water. But he had to keep up appearances, even if no-one could see the Wabbit. That was a general rule of thumb but the Wabbit had been caught out before. The Wabbit made a twist of his head and a soft plopping noise with his mouth. Everyone turned to look. The Wabbit just couldn’t resist it and he jumped on a parapet. “There they lie in the fountain, somewhere in the heart of Roooome.” Eat your heart out, Frankie!” thought the Wabbit. And then the Wabbit bowed and then vanished as if he had never been there at all.