3. The Wabbit and the Duplicitous Double

Unbeknown to each other, both the Wabbit and Lapinette were on the trail of the doppelganger. It was at the old abandoned bunker their paths crossed, and they could see the doppelganger at some kind of devilish work. "Which Wabbit are you?" whispered Lapinette. She tapped the Wabbit on the shoulder. "I'm me, of course," groaned the Wabbit. "But how do I know?" asked Lapinette. "I was sizing this place up for a new shed," answered the Wabbit. "Working with who?" said Lapinette in a hushed voice. "Wabsworth!" scowled the Wabbit. "OK," agreed Lapinette. She nodded and smiled. They both watched the intruder. "What's he doing?" They continued to watch. "He's messing with the electrics." said the Wabbit. "With blood?" exclaimed Lapinette. "Spooky," groaned the Wabbit." "Maybe he's trying to generate plasma," suggested Lapinette. "To become the real me?" The Wabbit felt seedy. "He could try," said Lapinette, "did you miss any blood recently?" The Wabbit thought. Cold from the unheated bunker settled around his shoulders and spooked him even more. "I gave blood to the Department. For Overseas Development." They both considered the matter. "It was on its way to the State of Wabbitania. Maybe it was hijacked and stored here." Lapinette was thoughtful. "This bunker was never ever used," she said. "And no-one comes here," added the Wabbit. "Perfect," nodded Lapinette. "That was exactly in my vein of thinking." 

2. Lapinette and the Walrus Spoke

Lapinette had gone to Natural History Museum to help. But when she got there, they wouldn't let her in. "We're closed," they said. "Go away." Lapinette as furious at such rudeness. "I’ve been sent by the Department," said Lapinette. "Don't care!" came the reply. "Then you're fired." Lapinette's tone was unmistakeable. She turned and looked over her shoulder at the retreating figures. "Don't care was made to care," she added and went on her way. Everything was a shambles. Nothing was in order, jumbled together like an old junk shop. "It's like the eighteenth century here," murmured Lapinette. "You're telling me," said a voice. It came from a big toothed walrus and he seemed upset. "They just collected me and shoved me in a room without regard to genus or even species." He looked around at various birds and antelopes. "See what I mean." Lapinette was upset too. "No wonder the Department sent me. I have to clean up." The walrus shrugged. "It will take you hundreds of years." Lapinette sighed and sat down. That was when she spotted what looked like a familiar figure. But he didn't look quite normal. "Wabbit?" The Walrus shook his head. "He's not real, he's a doppelganger." Lapinette slapped a paw to her forehead. "Don't attract his attention," said the walrus, " He's supposed to bring bad luck." Lapinette felt in her frock for her automatic. "I've met him before." The walrus was horrified. "I weep for you, I deeply sympathise ...."

1. The Wabbit and the Stairway Copy

The Wabbit climbed the stairs with caution. They looked moody and dangerous. "These stairs have more than a touch of menace," he thought. He was in a museum dedicated to the development of coins, a subject in which he had more than a passing interest. His Dinosaur Fund regularly made purchases of coins and sold them on to discerning buyers. Some of the coins were stashed in a secret location known only to the Wabbit, to be brought out on special occasions. This was one of these places. It was out on the edge of town and surrounded by so many roads that only a few people knew how to get there. His paws were rather sore from polishing coins. His head ached from looking at small writing. So he clumped the stairs and grumbled at each step. On this occasion he felt he was being followed by a shadowy figure. He glanced behind him, but every time he looked there was nothing there. Just once he caught a flash in the corner of his eye. A glimpse of blue glasses. He turned to face downstairs. then quickly turned back. This time he caught sight of a figure that looked just like him. It whispered. "We meet again Commander." Then it vanished. The Wabbit shrugged. "We do, so we do." He continued up the stairs and thought about the last time this happened. "I left you on the rail track in Veneto," he said to himself. He thought he'd seen the last of him. "Looks like double trouble," he murmured.  

The Wabbit at his Adventure Caffè.

The team was in the process of assembling at a Caffè in Via Gregorio VII. It was a bright day and the sun carved harsh patterns in the sidewalk. Lapinette came flying out the Caffè door. "I just ordered Proseccos all round!" The Wabbit scraped his chair with a lot of noise. "Good!" he replied. "Are you upset?" asked Lapinette. "I didn't know you were inside, we may have ordered twice." Lapinette giggled. "We'd just have to drink twice as quickly." The Wabbit brightened immediately. Skratch came into sight. "Hello everyone. "What was that for a sort of adventure?" Wabsworth appeared at the side and threw in his opinion. "It was an intervisual dialogue. A hybrid of forms." Skratch smiled. "Joussance!" Lapinette pulled a face. "Roland Barthes?" Skratch pulled another face. "I was thinking of Lacan." The Wabbit grinned so much you could hear it. "The slippy-slidyness of the text." Lapinette frowned. "You're thinking of glissement." The Wabbit stopped grinning then started again. "That's glissement." This was followed by a long silence, interrupted by Wabsworth. "The French don't have a word for that!" Skratch meaowed long and hard. "Your joke routine is improving, Wabsworth." The Wabbit sat back. "Where's this double drink coming from?" Lapinette looked round. "I think I accidentally locked the door."  The Wabbit could see their drinks on the counter. "Life and prosecco are very similar," He paused and looked around, then delivered his punchline. "You have to chill for best results." Everyone groaned.

6. The Wabbit, Lapinette and Last Drinks

The Wabbit and Lapinette turned to find themselves at a cocktail bar. A voice said that they'd been a lot of fun, and they should help yourselves. They shrugged. The Wabbit sorted through the whisky and found an Auchentoshan. "This is my local whisky and just a short hop from my home in Scotland." Lapinette made herself a cocktail. "I just like the blue colour." They sipped. "Delicious," said the Wabbit. "Exquisite," said Lapinette. The Wabbit looked around. "Where's Sebby?" Lapinette shrugged. "He's looking for a painting to be in." The Wabbit grinned. "I'm sure he'll find something to his satisfaction." They both laughed. Lapinette considered. "We seem to be pre-empting the Adventure Caffe." "We'd be stupid not to," said the Wabbit. He savoured his whisky. "It tastes of honey and dandelions." He sipped again. "And wellington boots." They set down their drinks and did a little dance. "I didn't know you knew the waltz." smiled Lapinette. "I happen to be a bronze medallist," answered the Wabbit. "You didn't get the gold?" queried Lapinette. "I fell over my coat," admitted the Wabbit, "but I landed on my back and twirled my partner round like an ice skater." Lapinette paused because she knew there would be a punch line. "I got points for improvisation," laughed the Wabbit. 

5. The Wabbit and the Smoke Eater.

It was only the Wabbit who was drawn into the picture. Sebby the Hat and Lapinette were pushed rudely to the side, but he found himself face to face with a woman with a direct stare. She was a smoke eater. The Wabbit knew this from twenties movies. His head was whirling. He heard a voice in his head telling him she had more curves than Passo Pordoi and the right number of navigable slopes. She fixed him with a steely gaze. "If you're some kind of forty niner, Mr Rabbit, I can inform you I'm no tomato." She threw him a look that was meant to make him roll over with his paws in the air. She sounded as half cut as her hair. His head twirled the other way. Another voice came into his head. He twisted his mouth into a wry smile and heard himself say, "You might be the cat's pyjamas, but I'm the big cheese. You won't get a handcuff from me unless you got plenty of hush money." A puff from her cigarette enveloped his head in a cloud of smoke. The smell of her breath was peaty, like an Islay whisky distillery. She looked closely at the Wabbit. "You're old father time," she breathed. "I think I'll sit this one out." She was fading from view. The Wabbit fell from the picture like a brick and into Lapinette's outstretched paws. She whispered in his ears. "Did you like the lines I gave you?" The Wabbit considered. "As much as chalk and cheese." "But did you like her?" she murmured. The Wabbit shrugged. "Like applause at the end of a show or ... a like on Facebook."

4. The Wabbits in a Work of Art

They all began to twirl and were ever so gradually sucked into a painting. "Where are we?" yelled Lapinette. She hung in the air being eyed up by a well-dressed gentleman who should have known better.  "It's when are we? About 1920 something!" shouted the Wabbit. He looked down at himself. "I'm only half in!" he yelled. A woman looked down at him. "I don't like rabbits," she stated. She was a sniffy sort and she pushed him from the painting. "We have all the fur we need and it's certainly not rabbit." But the gentleman with a rose in his lapel was more than happy. "Now you're a pretty little thing," he said to Lapinette, "What's your name?" Lapinette was almost at a loss for words but recovered quickly. "Trixie Beaujolais at your service," she simpered. Sebby made a bee line for the other gentleman. "Good Sir. You require a nice hat," he quipped. "Be off with you, rough Garibaldini," retorted the gentleman. "Perhaps you'd prefer a rose," said Lapinette. As sweet and sticky as honey, her voice trickled down on the fur. His eyes gleamed and he stretched out a hand. He was stuck to the rose and dangerously close to the fur. "Now's our chance," said the Wabbit. He unstuck himself and pulled his friends from the painting. They gazed for a second. Everyone in the painting was stuck to each other. Then the Wabbit, Lapinette and Sebby each felt a tug and a push. The Wabbit exclaimed, "Oh no, it's happening again..."