3. The Wabbit, Turbina and the Cushion

The Wabbit and Wabsworth didn't have time to visit any bar. Turbina coasted down and her doors opened. She yelled "Get in, get in." They were hardly settled in their seats when she took off. Her jet blasted - and inside seconds they were in EUR. "I've got to get your air cushion, Wabbit." The Wabbit knew things were serious if Turbina called him Wabbit and not Commander. "Why?" asked the Wabbit. "It's not what it seems!" replied Turbina. "What does it seem like?" asked Wabsworth. There was a silence as Turbina thought. "It seems like an entity." "An air cushion entity?" The Wabbit was curious. "It has properties," said Turbina," Look what it's doing! Attaching to my radiator. It might drain my precious liquids." Just then the air cushion detached from Turbina's radiator and started on the windows. "I don't need a wash and brush up," squealed Turbina. The Wabbit watched as the entity fixed itself to the air caps on the tyres. Then the entity spoke. "I have checked your systems and you are now deemed acceptable to enter the Air Kinkdom of Above. I will take you there." The cushion expanded and enveloped Turbina in a major cloud. The Wabbit shrugged and looked at Wabsworth. "Call it developmental research in fluid mechanics," he said. "Did he say Kinkdom?" asked the Wabbit. Wabsworth nodded gravely. "We could all do with straightening out," said the Wabbit. Wabsworth was inclined to agree. "All this moisture but no mention of a drink," sulked the Wabbit.

2. The Wabbit and the Air Cushion

The Wabbit and Wabsworth got to work on the new system and took it to a friendly shopping centre. They'd managed to persuade Turbina the Jet car to test it out and although she was reluctant at first, she saw sense in the enterprise. For a week's supply of salad sandwiches, she agreed to take part. Shoppers thought it was a raffle and tried to give Wabsworth money. He gave everyone a receipt and smiled nicely. At first all went well. They injected the air cushion and Turbina rose in the air. The Wabbit grinned and patted the hood. Wabsworth kicked the tyres and lit the fires. Turbina engaged her engine, and she floated round in a circle. "So far, so good," said the Wabbit. Turbina wasn't so happy. "I've no control of height, Commander." The Wabbit nodded. "We're working on that." Turbina could be bad- tempered. "Better work on it quick, I'm going to have to engage my jet with the new lattice drive." Wabsworth shook his head. "Not inside the shopping centre, please." Turbina powered up. The blast broke several windows and sent three men's suits spiralling into the air. Turbina continued to rise. An enterprising member of staff opened the sliding roof windows and Turbina shot right through them. "What next?" Turbina was remarkably calm. The air cushion began to disintegrate and disappeared into the atmosphere. Turbina flew in the sky above Valle Aurelia. Her voice crackled over the supermarket loudspeakers. "Your idea needs work, Commander." "Back to the drawing board," murmured the Wabbit. "I know a nearby bar," said Wabsworth. 

1. The Wabbit and the need for Tyre Sales

The Wabbit was passing the tyre shop in Via Gregorio VII. He always looked in with fascination and considered the continuing need for tyres. Couldn't vehicles just glide on cushions of air? There would be no wear and rear, he thought, no need for a tread, no blowouts, no inflation, deflation or any other kind of ation. The Wabbit considered it a little longer and came upon a problem. Without friction, how would the automobile stop? He wanted to ask the man in the garage but it was deserted and there was no-one there to ask. He thought for a bit and then he hit upon an idea. Hover cars. The cars would use anti- gravity technology and hover a metre from the ground. The Wabbit remembered an article in Popular Mechanics and a book by an Australian author. He determined he'd discuss it with Wabsworth and began hopping in his direction. As it happened, Wabsworth had a long-abandoned prototype in the back of the shed. Maybe they could dig it out and modify it. The Wabbit had some old bits too. Liberated from Denny Shipyard in the Clyde, they had lain about at the back of The Department of Wabbit Affairs for years. They were highly usable, at least on water. Why not on land? With a spring in his hop, the Wabbit made his way to see Wabsworth. 

The Wabbit goes to his Adventure Caffè

The team assembled at a shopping centre before going on to an Adventure Caffè. It was nearly lunchtime and the Wabbit felt peckish. He turned in the direction of the bars - all of which were outside. Restaurants within were far from good. He had no wish to indulge in the young people's passion for fake tapas, nor indeed a glutinous hamburger from the Wild West Emporium. "You don't want a bam-bam burger?" asked Wabsworth. "I'd rather Tom Mix shot a cigarette out my mouth," replied the Wabbit. Skratch guffawed. "The Wabbit is old enough to remember Tom Mix as a boy!" The Wabbit drawled. "I recall the day when Tom and I helped Wyatt Earp at the OK Canal." "That's Corral, Wabbit," grinned Lapinette. The Wabbit sniggered to himself. "What was that for a kind of adventure you had with Lapinette," asked Wabsworth. Lapinette sniggered too. "It was one of these filler adventures where no-one knows quite what to do." Skratch meaowed furiously. "I found it rather pleasant. Filler stories can subtly explore social issues through allegorical or symbolic means." Wabsworth laughed. "That sounds like artificial intelligence material, Skratch. I could have invented that for your good self." Skratch was delighted. "That's delightfully reflexive of you, Wabsworth." The Wabbit smiled. "If you're reflexing, Wabsworth. it's time for you to buy the drinks."

7. The Wabbit and the Pleasant Bar

There was little in the way of impact. The Wabbit and Lapinette found themselves in a pleasant beach bar. It was more than pleasant. Lapinette had to admit that. A voice hailed them from the Lepus. "Ahoy there!" called Jenny, "This be a deserted bar in the Med. It be having all mod cons for a holiday destination." Lapinette smiled. But she had not forgotten. "Where the market?" The Lepus answered. "There be an African gentleman along in a second carrying all your market needs upon his back." The Wabbit grinned. "Such as?" Jenny's voice echoed out. "Things for threading things to other things." The Wabbit laughed. "I need one of these things." Lapinette called out. "Anything else?" Jenny answered. "You may purchase any of the furniture before it be washed away. " The Wabbit was quick. "I want that table with all the drawers in the side." Lapinette hesitated. "Where will you put it?" "In my shed," came his reply. "Before it becomes driftwood," he added. "How much?" asked Lapinette. "Be making an offer," called Jenny. "Five euro," said Lapinette. "It be for charity," called Jenny. "Six euro," said Lapinette. "You be driving a hard bargain," said Jenny, "But how do you propose transporting it."  Lapinette made a tutting noise, "On your ship." Jenny 's voice was soft. "There be shipping costs." The Wabbit put his oar in. "We wouldn't want to rock the boat." Jenny's voice came back at once. "These jokes be so fishy that I'll do it for free." "More than we can afford," quipped the Wabbit.