2. The Wabbit and the Street Stall

The market stall was on the street, and it was a tight squeeze to get past. The Wabbit poked various things. But he either had most of them or didn't want them. He noticed Lapinette sidling up at the far end. "Wabbit, you've got most of these things!" The Wabbit pretended not to care. "I haven't got a left- handed aubergine peeler!" he exclaimed. "You don't need one," responded Lapinette, "you're ambidextrous." The Wabbit considered very carefully. "What about a thing for bashing other things." Lapinette jumped up and down. "We have three already." The Wabbit knew the stall had enough stuff to furnish three kitchens. "I'm looking for an unobtainable item," he confessed. Lapinette had been hearing this for years. "There's no such thing," she said. She folded her paws. "Anyway, there's no point looking here, you need to go to the right market." The Wabbit's paw dropped on a kitchen utensil. "No!" shouted Lapinette. He tried again. "No," yelled Lapinette, "we have a drawerful of these already!" The Wabbit smiled. "Which market do you suggest?" "The non existing market," mocked Lapinette. "Oh. the dystopian fantasy market?" replied the Wabbit. "That's highly niche," said Lapinette, "As niche as a dark web market." The Wabbit grabbed on to the stall - for he felt suddenly dizzy. "Or an NFT market." Lapinette looked serious. "I heard they were as dead as yesterday." "No" said the Wabbit, "As sure as I need a prosecco." 

1. The Wabbit and the Unobtainable Item

The Wabbit ambled up the back road to Aurelia. He had no particular plan in mind. Sometimes he would turn and look back, because if he squinted his eyes, he could just see his apartment. If he used his special glasses he could see a lot more. Rather more than he wanted in fact, so he didn't. He was heading for a market in search of an unobtainable item, and he hoped the rain would hold off, because he felt it sullied his fur. "Maybe I should purchase a raincoat?" he mused. He dismissed the thought immediately. "I told my coat a joke, but it just hung there!" He giggled. He had regaled people with that one-liner many times, but no-one ever laughed. All the more reason to repeat it. His search for an unobtainable item was occasionally successful. It was usually a music album which had found its way to a market by accident and he would snap it up without delay. Then there was the strange case of the inwards bent circlip pliers. He'd only had to use it one occasion, but it was worth the money. Once he'd purchased a box labelled 'Peculiar Tools' but he'd never found a use for any of the contents. Lapinette had been trying to get him to throw it out, but he'd refused on the basis that something might come in handy. He thought about Via Urbano II. It was within hopping distance and at the far end there was an old man who sold tools. He'd go there he thought - and he began to hop with menace.  

The Wabbit's Famous Adventure Caffè

The Wabbit and Lapinette waited for Wabsworth and Skratch outside the chocolate shop. They were late and apologetic, having been held up by two young ladies trying to sell books. It happened every time they went to this shopping centre, and they were less than impressed. Wabsworth had an encyclopaedic knowledge of every book ever published. Skratch had a fine library of cinema periodicals dating back to the 1950s. "Skratch!" shouted the Wabbit. "What was that for a sort of adventure we just had?" Skratch gave a mighty hiss. "I found the characters were portrayed as egotistical and untrustworthy." Lapinette laughed. "That's because they were!" Wabsworth shook his head. "I analysed all films in my database. Characters from outer space are generally depicted as creatures who always lie. They are other and not like us." The Wabbit's face was a picture. "Looking at current affairs, I'd say that's an accurate reflection of modern politicians. They say what people want to hear, so that they can be in power." Lapinette nodded. "Yes, I'm afraid that's so." Skratch screeched loudly. "Lucky then, that we have the Department of Wabbit Affairs." He smirked and looked around. "I wouldn't trust the Department to open a bag of crisps," scowled the Wabbit. "And certainly not anything to do with your Dinosaur Fund," said Wabsworth. The Dinosaur Fund was a private account set up by the Wabbit to finance his more unorthodox missions. The Wabbit paled. "I don't think so." Lapinette grinned. "Shall we use some of it to finance today's aperitivi?" Wabsworth looked on with mock dismay. "As long as receipts are duly obtained." 

10. The Wabbit and the Flashy Landing

Quantum landed in Campo de' Fiori which quite surprised onlookers - but they thought it was a new scheme by the Mayor. Some people clapped and others grumped. Diners went about their culinary business, while the Wabbit and Lapinette remained in Quantum's cab. Skratch made a few euro by collecting money, much to Wabsworth's disapproval. "Give everyone a receipt," he said, "It will all have to be accounted for." Lapinette turned to the Wabbit. "What about the prisoners?" The Wabbit flinched. "We have prisoners?" Lapinette waved her paws. "Uberclerk Zzorp and the Reclamoids!" The Wabbit put his head back and laughed. "Put them on at the Circus Maximus, they'll be a hoot." Lapinette felt that the Wabbit's levity was misplaced. "You can't let them run loose on Earth. Who knows what might happen?" Wabsworth chortled from below. "Zzorp might be able to sort out your Dinosaur Account." "Doubt it, no-one can," smiled Lapinette. "I'll take them back on Thursday," laughed the Wabbit. "Today's Thursday," replied Lapinette. "Next Thursday," offered the Wabbit. They were quiet for a few moments. "I suppose we could offer them dinner," said Skratch. "All receipts to be lodged," insisted  Wabsworth. "I'm thirsty," said the Wabbit. Everyone burst out laughing. "I see a waiter bring complimentary drinks for the intergalactic travellers," smiled Wabsworth. The Wabbit was delighted, "Better bring our guests out of the brig and prepare them for a week's stay." Lapinette gave him an old- fashioned look. "I only travel intergalactically on Thursdays," shrugged the Wabbit.