The Wabbit hops on the Moon

The Wabbit fell into a deep sleep and dreamed of Lovely Lapinette.  In the dream, they both found themselves on the moon at the same time and hopped towards each other. But their hops were very tall and they stayed on the same spot. Eventually they touched paws and the Wabbit began to sing. "Giant steps are what you take," he warbled, "hopping on the moon." "I hope my legs don't break," sang Lapinette, "hopping on the moon." The Wabbit hopped high and looked down. "We could hop forever, hopping on the moon," he trilled to Lapinette. In mid-hop Lapinette answered. "We could live together, hopping on, hopping on the moon!" They both hopped for a long time and lit by the earth and the sun, their moon shadows hopped too. "Hopping back from your house. Hopping on the moon," sang the Wabbit. "Hopping back from my house, Hopping on the moon," sang Lapinette. "My paws, they hardly touch the ground - walking on the moon," sang the Wabbit. "My feet don’t hardly make a sound - hopping on the moon," sang Lapinette. The Wabbit launched into the rest of the song. "Some may say, I’m wishing my days away ..." The Wabbit felt a sudden dig in his ribs and awakened from his dream. "Where were you?" said Lapinette. "On the moon," said the Wabbit. "Why am I not surprised?" smiled Lapinette.

11. The Wabbit Mops Up

The Wabbit and Skratch the Cat dived for the ice cream kiosk in the New Talmone Caffè and looked out. With the speed of light, a vast web dropped like a curtain - and as the portico darkened, Marshall Duetta and her Red Spiders descended on their victims like a horde of locusts. Skratch and the Wabbit could only watch as relentlessly, the Spiders snared the Spam. Normally the portico would be busy. But local inhabitants had learned to read the signs and there was absolute silence - except for the clicking and snickering of spidery legs and the odd squeal of a captured Spam. The Wabbit dug Skratch in the ribs, and in return Skratch slapped the Wabbit on the back. "Do you fancy an ice cream?" asked the Wabbit. "Oh I don’t mind if I do," said Skratch. The Wabbit looked down at a vast variety of ice cream. "There’s still some of Wabsworth's old Spam flavour," he observed. Skratch grimaced. "If you don’t mind I’d rather have vanilla." "Plain old vanilla?" said the Wabbit. "Where’s your innovative cuisine?" "I left it in the back of a drawer, where it belongs," said Skratch. "Well, I’m going to have carrot flavour," said the Wabbit. Skratch sighed "You always have carrot flavour." "Why change a winning formula?" grinned the Wabbit.

10. The Wabbit Releases the Specials

"Now!" yelled the Wabbit and Skratch the Cat tilted the tray. Torrents of Spam shot from the sandwiches and leapt on the Gnamskulls. More Spam waved gracefully in the air and wafted around looking for targets. There was nothing the Gnamskulls could do. They were hopelessly addicted to Spam and their intakes filled with meaty advertising. The portico echoed to the sound of grumbling, rumbling and crashing as Gnamskulls listed, swayed then fell helplessly to the sidewalk. Skratch watched with satisfaction. "Wabbit, what if there's Spam Creatures left over?" he asked. "I calculated it carefully," said the Wabbit. Skatch looked dubious about the Wabbit's calculations but the Wabbit grinned. "I have a back up plan." He looked up at the portico roof and Skratch followed the direction of his gaze. Curled in windows, Marshall Duetta Spyder and two of her Red Spider cohorts lay quietly in wait. They showed little anxiety over the melee below and cheerfully waved a squiggly wave. The Wabbit waved back and watched the Gnamskulls and the Spam - and counted. "OK Skratch, the Gnamskulls are down." "Any Spam left over?" said Skratch. The Wabbit made another sign to Marshall Duetta Spyder, then turned to Skratch. "It's not over until the Big Spider spins."

9. The Wabbit and the Slow Food Trap

The Wabbit and Skratch headed to the Talmone Caffè in the porticos, where the space was controllable - and there they set up their stall. It wasn’t long before the Gnamskulls, drawn by the smell of the special sandwich filling, started to arrive. Now the Wabbit knew that the Gnamskulls couldn’t hear him, but in the interests of authenticity he started his pitch. With a wild waving of his paws and circular rubbing of his tummy, he started to bark. "Savour the special filling in the special sandwiches," he cried. "Straight from the oven to your scavenging tubes." Skratch thought he would join in. "Get 'em while they’re warm," he yelled and waved his paws in invitation. "Special promotion!" shouted the Wabbit. "Complimentary sandwiches for your delectation." "One taste and you’ll never want anything else," shouted Skratch. The Gnamskulls approached the Wabbit’s table and sniffed and nodded to each other. Scavenging tubes flicked the air and their food intakes gurgled like struggling fuel pumps. "A lovely treat, a joy to eat," yelled the Wabbit and he winked at Skratch. "They're buying it," he hissed, "Get ready to release the special filling." "Are we covered?" asked Skratch. The Wabbit's eyes flicked imperceptibly upwards and he nodded ...

8. The Wabbit and the Catering Corp

The Wabbit and Skratch the Cat headed out to snare the Gnamskulls, carrying the sandwiches with the dangerous special filling. The Wabbit nudged Skratch gently. "We're working undercover Skratch, so whatever you do don't talk about food." "Oh!" said Skratch. Now all Skratch could think of was food - so he tried to change his thoughts. "Wabbit, he said nonchalantly. "Is it OK to talk about films?" "Excellent!" said the Wabbit, "please proceed." Skratch thought for a while then his eyes lit up. "Have you seen that film, Breakfast at Tiffany's?" "Skratch, you'll give the game away," hissed the Wabbit. "We're just caterers. They never talk about food." "What do they talk about? said Skratch. "Topical things," said the Wabbit. "OK," said Skratch and thought again. "I know," he said finally. "Did you know yoghurt does weird things to your brain?" The Wabbit scowled and tried to think. "We'll have a quiz. What's Turin famous for?" Skratch was quick as a flash. "Chocolate and coffee," he yelled. The Wabbit sighed. "It's cars, Turin is famous for cars." "Then I've got a question," said Skratch. "What's a new car colour?" The Wabbit shrugged and gave up. "Crème brûlée?" he grinned.

7. The Wabbit obtains More Supplies

Hidden in a bar on the river was the Wabbit's secret armoury. There, Wabsworth - the Wabbit's android double - both gathered information and dispensed weaponry to certain agents from the Department of Wabbit Affairs. "We need more sandwiches with the secret filling," said the Wabbit. "I only just gave you some," said Wabsworth. The Wabbit hopped up and down impatiently. "It was a destructive test," he sighed, "there's none left." "Then I shall expect a signed chit stating the exact circumstances of usage," smirked Wabsworth. "Later!" hissed the Wabbit. Wabsworth leaned back and pulled himself up to his full height. "This is a controlled substance from an old adventure," he explained. "I can't keep supplying it. It's dangerous." "That's why we need it." said Skratch. Wabsworth gave him a stare. "What happened anyway?" he asked. "Gnamskulls consumed it with gusto," said Skratch, "and so we need double-strength filling ingredients." Wabsworth took a number of sandwiches from the bar. "Here are some I made earlier," he said. "And do not, I repeat not let them escape into our environment." The Wabbit seized the sandwiches and carefully examined the filling. "They look just the same," he said. "Never mistake appearance for reality," smiled Wabsworth.

6. The Wabbit goes too Far

 "It worked" shouted Skratch. The Gnamskulls chased and devoured every scrap of sandwich filling, then demolished the suitably stale bread. But now they were hooked. They wanted more of the special sandwich filling and crashed around the supermarket in pursuit. "Back to the laboratory!" said the Wabbit. But he was a little late. The Gnamskull leader sniffed the air and detected the smell of sandwich filling on the Wabbit's paws. With a ghastly slavering noise issuing from his scavenging tubes, he headed straight for the Wabbit and Skratch. "Let's make ourselves scarce," yelled Skratch and took off. "In total short supply," replied the Wabbit, loping towards the exit. But the Gnamskull was faster than they had first imagined - and he bore down on them quickly. They could smell the stale breath from his teeth and started to sprint. "This calls for emergency action," thought the Wabbit, so he felt under his fur. As he rummaged and rummaged for any old piece of forgotten sandwich, an ancient hard crust dropped to the ground. And in the few seconds that the Gnamskull stopped, the Wabbit and Skratch were gone. Outside the supermarket, they slowed to a saunter. "A successful venture," said the Wabbit. "And no-one needs to know more," smiled Skratch.