7. The Wabbit and the Speed Trials

The Wabbit and friends crept out on a crisp, cold morning and scaled the heights of an old disused railway track that crossed the neighbourhood. Then the Wabbit produced a salvaged stop watch from his fur and set it to zero. "Start when I say go," said the Wabbit. But Mo and To had already gone. The Wabbit strained his eyes and he spotted a blue blur in the distance, getting steadily bigger. They were already on their way back! "Wow," thought the Wabbit to himself. "How fast were we?" breathed the Snails. "No-one knows," said the Wabbit, "because you left before I set my stop watch." "It felt fast," said To. "It was super fast!" said Mo. "It's unrecorded and doesn't count," said the Wabbit. Mo and To were properly crestfallen and the Wabbit took pity. "Think you can do it again?" smiled the Wabbit. Mo was already leaving but To quickly grabbed him back. "There will be a penalty for a false start," said the Wabbit. "What kind of a penalty?" asked Mo. The Wabbit hadn't really thought of a penalty but now he felt obliged to name one. So he thought and thought. "You have to go round again and it's added to your time," he said finally. "OK get ready, counting you down to zero," said the Wabbit. Both Mo and To gazed steadily at him.  "Zero," he said. There was an enormous rush of air and a loud crack as Mo and To left and arrived back.  "How were we?" said Mo and To. The Wabbit shook his stop watch free of broken glass. "You owe me a replacement," he grinned.

6. The Wabbit, Power, Traction and Slime

At a small garage not far from the Testaccio Market, the Wabbit and Big Blue Snail worked until night. The Wabbit aimed to improve the power and thrust of the MoTo Snails, whilst Big Blue Snail sought to enhance their slime production. They were seeing moderate success. "I'm increasing your power," said the Wabbit. "Excellent," said To. "To what end?" said Mo. "Speed and manoeuvrability," said the Wabbit. "Won't power make us go faster?" asked To. "To go faster you have to transfer your power to the road," said the Wabbit. "Your traction is critical," said Big Blue Snail, "otherwise you will spin round and round on your own slime." "Cool," said Mo and the Snails' antennae wiggled in delight. Big Blue Snail gave them a withering look and thought for a moment. "I need to make diet adjustments," he said and he vanished, quickly returning with a mixture of fruit, leaves, kale and mulberry. "Oh, do we have to?" asked Mo. Big Blue Snail added lettuce, artichoke, celeriac and tomato. "Mmmm, we have to," said To. "May I add something," said the Wabbit, delving in his fur. "Of course," said Big Blue Snail. The Wabbit took out a small packet and he added a homeopathic sprinkle. To and Mo wolfed the food with delight. "What's the added ingredient?" whispered Big Blue Snail. "Nitro," said the Wabbit. "Let's lay slime," said Big Blue Snail.

5. The Wabbit and the MoTo Snails

Next in the new Snails' education, was the market. "This is where snails assist in global recycling," said Big Blue Snail. "Look how blue the market has become," observed the Wabbit. "Here comes a blue snack now," said Big Blue Snail, "the traders are only too happy for us to eat their cardboard." "Perfect," said the first Snail in delight. "I'll wait and see how it goes," said the second suspiciously. The Wabbit smiled. "You require new names," he said. "I can't keep saying "You Snails" - it's rude." The new Snails pondered. "What makes you different from other snails?" asked Big Blue Snail. "We're fast Snails," they replied. "We're from Misano, near Rimini." said the first Snail. "We race the circuit there," said the second. "What's your best lap time?" asked the Wabbit, winking discreetly at Big Blue Snail. "One point three three," said the first Snail. The Wabbit's eyes widened and his ears began to quiver. "Minutes?" he asked. "Hours," said the second Snail. The Wabbit tried to keep a straight face. "Oh, that's respectably rapid, my good Wabbit," cautioned Big Blue Snail in an admonishing tone. "Then our new Snails are now Mo and To!" said the Wabbit swiftly, "they're the MoTo Snails!" The Snails wiggled their antennae joyfully. "Do your shells revolve by any chance?" asked the Wabbit shrewdly, pointing to their racy whirls. "We spin them for speed," they said together. The Wabbit turned to Big Blue Snail in excitement. "To the workshop!" he said.

4. The Wabbit and Anita Garibaldi

Big Blue Snail had decided that his admirers needed political education. The Wabbit was leading them all through the Villa Pamphili Park to the Gianicolo Hill but they hadn't gone far when they heard a neighing and whinnying and a stamping of hooves. Suddenly a statue of horse and rider appeared, blocking their path. The Wabbit hopped forward immediately with a welcoming paw. "You're supposed to be at the top of the Hill," he said. "We got fed up waiting," said the horse. "The Wabbit speaks with statues?" asked the new Snails. "They speak with him," said Big Blue Snail. The new Snails tried unsuccessfully to show they weren't impressed. "Listen youngsters," said the Wabbit. "This is Anita Garibaldi, escaping from the wicked enemy, carrying her new born child." "Oooooh," said the new Snails, "how brave!" "Was she against things?" asked one Snail. "She was for things," said the Wabbit. "She was for freedom and unity and we can learn from her." "What would you like to know, young Snails?" said Anita. "Will it take long to achieve freedom and unity?" asked the new Snails. "Do you love your species with all your heart?" said Anita. "Yes," chorused the new Snails  "Prepare for hardship, battles and ultimately triumph," said Anita. The Snails looked suitably chastened. Anita turned to the Wabbit. "We shall meet again, Commander," she said. "For new triumphs," replied the Wabbit and he waved his paw. Both horse and rider vanished and all that remained of their presence was the sound of galloping.

3. The Wabbit and the New Snail Model Army

Up on the Villa Pamphili, the Wabbit introduced the new Snails to his blue comapanion. "Who are those two?" asked Big Blue Snail. "Those," said the Wabbit, "are the self-styled New Model Snail Army." "They'll need to smarten up," said Big Blue Snail. "Come come," responded the Wabbit. "They do have a certain je ne sais quoi."  Big Blue Snail snorted. Adopting a imperious tone he addressed the pair. "Fellow Snails!" he commanded. "We must make a great leap forward!" "Now! Now! Now!" chanted the new Snails. Big Blue Snail turned and looked at the Wabbit questioningly but the Wabbit merely winked at him. So Big Blue Snail slid up and down several times in front of the snails, then turned to address them directly. "Now," he said, "is this very moment." The new Snails stared at him. "Now, is all that has been before," said Big Blue Snail. The new Snails slid backwards slightly and gaped. "Now, is the sum of all our opportunities in the future," said Big Blue Snail. The new Snails gasped incredulously. "All at the very same time?" they queried. Big Blue Snail gave a single, short and rather grave nod. The two looked at each other for what seemed to the Wabbit like an age. "Cool!" they breathed softly.

2. The Wabbit and the Alternative Snails

The Wabbit hopped along the street until he caught up with two large blue Snails. "Hey you two," he shouted. "You're not the original Big Blue Snail!" The Snails turned and tried to menace the Wabbit, but the Wabbit was not to be menaced. "Now look you Snails," said the Wabbit. "You'd better explain what's going on. Or there'll be trouble." "Um, OK," said one Snail. "We are the advance guard of the Alternative Snail Army." "The New Model Snail Army," said the other. "What do you stand for?" asked the Wabbit. "We're not exactly sure," said the first Snail. "But we're against things," said the second. The Wabbit shook his head. "You Snails have to be clear," he said "or no-one will know what you want." "We're against oppression and we want Snail freedom," said the first Snail. "It's a bit general," said the Wabbit. "We want Snail Rights," said the second Snail. "What are these rights?" asked the Wabbit gently. "The right to be left alone and supplied with plenty of leaves, fruit and cardboard," said the first Snail. "Seems reasonable," said the Wabbit, "so let's start. I'll shout a question and you respond." "OK," said the Snails. The Wabbit hunched his shoulders and put his head back. "What do we want?" he bellowed. "Rights for Snails!" they yelled back. "When do we want them?" yelled the Wabbit. "In due course!" shouted the Snails. The Wabbit slapped a paw to his head. "You Snails need training," he muttered.

1. The Wabbit at Loose End

The Wabbit hopped all around the city and eventually admitted that he was at a loose end. He looked about and all he could see was concrete. "I'm going to call this place Loose End," thought the Wabbit and he dug his paws deep into his fur. A warm south wind blew through the cold air. It was a very strange wind that carried a red grit that got in the Wabbit's eyes and made them sting. The Wabbit was unsettled. "Sometimes the city seems friendly and sometimes it doesn't," he thought. But this was a time when the city seemed indifferent, and above all other things, the Wabbit hated indifference. "I need something to do," thought the Wabbit. But the Wabbit reasoned that if he consulted his to-do list, he would find he had so many duties to perform. So he burrowed his paws further into his fur and resolved not to think about lists. "I need  a success," thought the Wabbit. "Maybe even a great triumph," he thoughtfully added. And he scuffed the street with his feet and leaned back against the iron fence. But the Wabbit knew one thing. He knew that little came from leaning against iron fences. So he squinted his eyes and he stared and he thought until his brain raced. And as he looked at the traffic passing routinely along the street he noticed something odd. "Now what the binky is that?" thought the Wabbit.